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COL,  ROBERT  G,  INGERSOLL 
AS  HE  IS. 

A  Complete  Refutation  of  His  Clerical 
Enemies'  Malicious  Slanders. 


The  Dishonest  Statements  Regarding  Himself  and  His  Family  Author- 
itatively Denied,  and  the  Proof  Given. 

AND 

The  Truth  Told  About  Him  as  a  Soldier,  About  His  Cap- 
ture   BY    THE    Confederates,  About    His    Family,  His 
Life  at  Peoria,  III.,  the  Hoxors  Shown  Him  by  the 
Nation's   Greatest   Men,  and  a  Great  Mant 
Other     Things     Concerning    "Which     the 
Clergy  op  the   Country    Have    Per- 
sistently   and    Dishonestly 
Misrepresented   Him. 


By  E.  M,  MACDONALD,  Editor  of  "  The  Truth  Seeker." 

"  All  men  are  our  brothers;  and  when  we  injure  them  by  lies, 
which  cut  like  a  sharp  razor,  by  sneers,  by  innuendoes,  by  in- 
trigues, by  slander  and  calumny,  by  hatred,  malice,  and  all  un- 
charitableness,  by  want  of  thought,  or  by  want  of  heart,  by  the 
lust  of  gain,  by  neglect,  by  absorbing  selfishness,  we  are  inheri- 
tors of  the  spirit  of  the  first  murderer." — Dean  Farrab 


New  Yoke: 
THE  TRUTH  SEEKER  COMPANY, 


INOERSOLL  AS  HE  IS. 


Whenever  Colonel  lugersoU  makes  a  lectur- 
ing trip  through  the  country  the  clergy  resort 
to  slander  and  defamation  to  repel  attacks  upon 
their  religion  which  they  cannot  otherwise  ward 
off.  Were  all  people  sensible,  these  attacks 
would  amount  to  nothing.  But  the  general  run 
of  Christians  cannot  see  that  even  were  Inger- 
soll  all  that  his  enemies  say  he  is,  it  would  in 
nowise  affect  his  arguments  against  Christianity, 
and  the  stories  told  by  the  clergy  distract  their 
attention  and  prevent  them  from  considering 
what  he  has  said.  This  slander  business  is 
an  old  trick  of  the  ministers.  Voltaire,  Paine, 
Bradlaugh,  Bennett — every  prominent  Free- 
thinker— has  been  subjected  to  the  same 
treatment.  Colonel  Ingersoll  himself  has  pith- 
ily put  it : 

"  Countless  falsehoods  have  been  circulated 
about  all  the  opponents  of  superstition.  Who- 
ever attacks  the  popular  falsehoods  of  his  time 
will  find  that  a  lie  defends  itself  by  telling 
other  lies.      Nothing  is    so    prolific,   notbisg 


mo 


8  RELIGIOUS  LIES. 

can  so  multiply  itself,  nothing  can  lay  and 
liatch  so  many  eggs,  as  a  good  healthy  re- 
ligious lie.  And  nothing  is  more  wonderful 
than  the  credulity  of  the  believers  in  the  super- 
natural. They  feel  under  a  kind  of  obligation 
to  believe  everything  in  favor  of  their  religion, 
or  against  any  form  of  what  they  are  pleased  to 
call  '  Infidelity.'  The  old  falsehoods  about 
Voltaire,  Paine,  Hume,  Julian,  Diderot,  and 
hundreds  of  others,  grow  green  every  spring. 
They  are  answered  ;  they  are  demonstrated  to 
be  without  the  slightest  foundation  ;  but  they 
rarely  die.  And  when  one  does  die  there  seems 
to  be  a  kind  of  Caesarian  operation,  so  that  in 
each  instance,  although  the  mother  dies,  the 
child  lives  to  undergo,  if  necessary,  a  like  ope- 
ration, leaving  another  child,  and  sometimes 
two.  There  are  thousands  and  thousands  of 
tongues  ready  to  repeat  what  the  owners  know 
to  be  false,  and  these  lies  are  a  part  of  the  stock 
in  trade,  the  valuable  assets,  of  superstition. 
No  church  can  afford  to  throw  its  property 
away.  To  admit  that  these  stories  are  false 
now  is  to  admit  that  the  church  has  been  busy 
lying  for  hundreds  of  years,  and  it  is  also  to 
admit  that  the  word  of  the  church  is  not  and 
cannot  be  taken  as  evidence  of  any  fact." 

Of  course,  one  who  has  made  himself  so  ob- 
noxious to  the  church  as  has  Colonel  Ingersoll 
cannot  escape.  For  years  he  has  been  the  tar- 
get for  the  mudslingers  of  the  church.  Upon 
him  the  liars  for  Christ's  sake  have  exercised 
all  their  ingenuity.  Notoriety  seekers  have 
tried  to  shine  in  the  reflected  rays  of  his  repu- 
tation. Small  preachers  have  advertised  them- 
selves by  "  answering  Ingersoll,"  and  obscure 


A  SAMPLE   SEEMON.  9v 

illiterates  have  got  their  names  into  the  papers 
by  "challenging"  him.  Whole  bodies  of  Chris- 
tians, even,  have  achieved  fame  by  praying  for 
his  conversion.  And  when  all  these  schemes 
have  failed  to  move  him  from  his  serenity  of 
conduct,  the  mudslingers  and  liars  have  gone  to 
work  more  industriously  than  ever.  He  has 
been  accused  of  about  all  the  sins  and  many  of 
the  crimes  in  the  calendar.  It  is  said  that  he 
is  in  favor  of  disseminating  vile  literature  ;  he 
is  accused  of  having  eulogized  whisky  and 
then  of  having  stolen  some  pious  rodomontade 
denouncing  alcohol ;  of  having  surrendered  to 
a  boy  of  the  Confederate  army  ;  of  having  abused 
his  sister  ;  of  having  driven  his  daughters  into 
the  church,  and  his  son  insane,  and  about  a 
hundred  more  things  as  idiotic  as  these.  A  fair 
sample  is  the  sermon  of  a  South  Dakota  minis- 
ter so  impoverished  in  brains  that  he  would 
never  have  been  heard  of  outside  of  his  own 
parish  had  he  not  repeated  the  slanders  in- 
vented by  another  scoundrelly  preacher.  We 
subjoin  the  sermon,  calling  particular  attention 
to  the  statement  of  the  preacher  that  he  spoke 
from  his  own  knowledge.  That  statement  stamps 
him  at  once  as  maliciously  dishonest,  for  all  his 
charges  are  absolutely  false,  and  his  insinua- 
tions are  of  the  sort  too  contemptible  for  any 
gentleman  to  utter  by  mistake.  That  he  delib- 
erately lied  there  can  be  no  doubt : 

'     "Rev.  J.  D.  Houston   preached   one  of  the 
most  sensational  sermons  last  night  ever  heard 


^ 


10  A   SAMPLE   SERMON. 

in  Aberdeen.  Contrary  to  the  general  expecta- 
tion of  his  hearers,  his  remarks,  announced  to 
be  directed  at  Ingersoll,  did  not  particularly 
concern  Ingersoll's  views,  theories,  and  doc- 
trines, but  were  devoted  to  a  sharp  attack  upon 
Ingersoll's  character  public  and  private,  and  to 
his  standing  as  a  man  and  citizen.  It  was  not 
pleasant  to  say  things  derogatory  of  any  man, 
commented  the  speaker,  and  he  was  constrained 
to  do  so  only  in  this  instance,  because  Mr.  In- 
gersoll had  posed,  and  his  fame  had  been  widely 
heralded  in  this  respect  as  well  as  others,  as  the 
model  moral  man,  whose  home  was  his  church, 
and  whose  family  circle  was  his  altar.  It 
was  to  reveal  the  great  Agnostic  as  he  really 
is  that  the  minister,  cognizant  personally  to 
some  extent  of  many  things  which  he  should 
discuss,  had  been  induced  to  speak.  If  the 
essentials  of  the  address  ever  come  to  the  ears 
of  Colonel  Ingersoll,  and  he  contemplates  an 
action  for  libel  and  slander,  he  can  summon 
several  hundred  witnesses,  as  the  church  in- 
terior, including  the  west  class  room,  was  filled. 
*'*As  a  boy,' said  Mr.  Houston,  'Ingersoll 
learned  to  become  a  frequenter  of  saloons  and 
other  places  of  low  association.  His  father  was 
a  straitlaced  Presbyterian  minister,  and  Inger- 
soll has  been  accustomed  all  his  life  to  slander 
his  departed  parent  by  charging  that  his  unbe- 
lief and  ridicule  of  things  holy  were  due  to  the 
tyrannical  conduct  of  that  parent  in  religious 
matters  toward  his  children.'^  The  elder  Inger- 
soll, according  to  Mr.  Houston,  was  a  man  who 
erred  on  the  side  of  leniency  and  license 
in  his  management  of  his  children  rather  than 
in  great  severity.  He  was  pious  and  devout 
but  not  particularly  puritanical.  Ingersoll  has 
thus  all  his  life  not  only  permitted  this  slander 
to  stand  against  his  father's  name,  but  has  done 


A   SAMPLE   SERMON.  11 

more  to  keep  it  alive  than  all  other  influences 
combined. 

^"Ingersoll  as  a  young  man  maintained  the 
reputation  he  had  acquired  as  a  drinking  char- 
acter and  became  celebrated  for  his  £arousaIs 
with  depraved  companions.  On  one  occasion, 
while  a  saloon  row  was  in  progress,  he  was  cut 
on  the  forehead  by  a  beer  glass  in  the  hands  of 
some  man  as  low  as  himself,  and  is  said  to  carry 
the  scar  to  this  day.  He  was,  charged  the  min- 
ister, once  indicted,  and  the  Illinois  court 
records  will  so  show,  for  being  mixed  up  in  a 
saloon  broil.  In  later  years  he  had  frequently 
been  so  thoroughly  intoxicated  as  to  make  it 
impossible  for  him  to  fill  public  engagements. 
His  own  daughters,  it  was  specifically  stated, 
had  drank  wine  from  his  table  until  intoxicated 
to  such  a  degree  as  to  require  assistance  in  get- 
ting from  the  room.  And  yet  this  was  the  man 
and  this  the  family  that  had  been  held  up  for 
years  as  models  for  the  people  of  the  country 
to  follow. 

"  When  he  came  to  speak  of  Ingersoll  as  a 
soldier,  Mr.  Houston  showea  considerable  heat, 
and  his  previous  attacks  and  statements  seemed 
mild  by  comparison.  Up  to  the  time  that  he 
was  commissioned  as  an  officer  in  the  Union 
army  by  President  Lincoln  at  the  solicitation  of 
several  personal  friends  he  was,  said  the  speaker, 
an  ultra  pro-slavery  man  and  much  opposed  to 
the  war.  He  participated  in  only  one  engage- 
ment during  the  war,  and  in  that  was  chased 
into  a  hog-yard  and  actually  taken  prisoner  by 
a  sixteen-year-old  Confederate  boy.  When  he 
returned  to  private  life  his  friends  covered  him 
all  over  with  glory,  and  the  fleeting  years  have 
served  to  increase  the  brilliancy  of  the  halo  and 
conceal  the  actual  facts. 

"  It  was  further  charged  that  Ingersoll  had 


12  A   SAMPLE   SERMON. 

no  credit  and  no  standing  in  the  city  of  Peoria, 
which  was  for  a  long  time  his  home,  and 
that  he  had  been  unsuccessful  in  his  political 
aspirations  because  he  was  known  to  be  a  god- 
less man,  and  destitute  of  the  higher  and  best 
sensibilities  and  feelings  ;  that  lugersoll  had 
often  insulted  the  religion  of  his  guests,  and 
was  profane  in  a  large  degree,  vicious  and  de- 
praved. Instances  of  his  mock  baptism  of  a 
little  child  with  a  glass  of  beer  in  a  saloon,  in 
ridicule  of  the  practice  of  sprinkling,  and  others 
of  somewhat  similar  bearing,  were  given. 

"  Mr.  Houston  gave  his  audience  to  understand 
that  he  spoke  largely  from  his  own  personal 
knowledge  of  the  man.  Facts  not  gathered  this 
way  were  learned  of  ex-Governor  Chase,  of 
Indiana,  and  other  gentlemen  whose  names  he 
spoke.  He  claimed  that  Infidelity  never  had 
and  never  could  produce  a  model,  moral  man, 
and  that  Ingersoll  had  reached  the  ideal  as  near 
as  any  man  could  expect  to  reach  it  who  denied 
the  Bible  and  its  teachings.  The  effort  was  so 
personal  in  its  character,  so  widely  different 
from  anything  expected,  and  so  surprising  in  its 
statements,  that  it  held  the  closest  attention  of 
the  audience  for  nearly  an  hour." 

For  the  benefit  of  Liberals  who  have  these 
things  thrust  at  them  by  their  Christian  neigh- 
bors, and  are  asked  to  explain  if  Colonel  Inger- 
soll is  really  as  bad  as  the  preachers  say  he  is, 
we  have  prepared  the  following  consideration 
of  the  absurd  stories.  It  is  impossible,  of  course, 
to  nail  every  lie  told,  for  they  often  take  such 
grotesque  shapes  that  circumstantial  denial  is 
hard  to  compass.  And  when  one  lie  is  nailed, 
another  is  started  on  the  same  line,  with  a  little 


HIS  "  TEMPERANCE  "    SPEECH.  13. 

variation,  and  then  the  friends  of  the  Colonel 
are  asked  to  consider  that  also  !  But  if  we  have 
omitted  any  particular  one  of  the  hundreds  of 
lies,  the  Liberals  and  friends  of  the  glorious 
Colonel  are  authorized  to  say  on  our  responsi- 
bility, when  they  hear  anything  reflecting  in 
any  way  on  his  integrity,  goodness,  honesty, 
cleanness  of  life  or  character,  that  it  is  a  (blank) 
lie,  and  to  wager  the  preacher  a  hundred  dollars 
that  he  can't  prove  it.  And  if  the  preacher  will 
put  up  the  money,  a  letter  to  us  will  assure  its 
being  covered.  We  are  weary  of  writing  letters 
exploding  these  myths  in  detail,  and  we  make 
this  comprehensive  and  sweeping  denial  to  save 
further  annoyance.  We  shall  print  this  article 
in  pamphlet  form  and  send  it  to  every  preacher 
we  hear  of  who  attacks  lugersoll's  reputation  ; 
and  we  hope  every  Freethinker  in  the  world 
will  keep  a  supply  on  hand  to  give  to  any  slan- 
derous person  who,  ignorantly  or  venomously, 
repeats  the  infamous  falsehoods  of  the  clergy. 

THE   CHARGE   OF  PLAGIARISM  IN   A   "  TEMPERANCE  ? 
SPEECH. 

One  of  the  earliest  charges  made  against 
Colonel  Ingersoll,  since  he  became  famous,  was 
that  in  a  "  temperance "  speech  he  stole  the 
language  of  another.  This  charge,  the  following 
letter  written  by  Colonel  Ingersoll  both  explains 
and  refutes.  The  letter  has  been  given  the 
greatest  circulation  possible,  but  still  the  accu- 


14  HIS  "temperance"  speech. 

sation   is   made   by   the  ignorant  or  dishonest 
clergymen  of  all  denominations  : 

"Washington,  D.  C,  Nov,  1,  1881. 

"Sir:  For  several  months  charges  have  ap- 
peared— mostly  in  Christian  papers — that  I  am 
guilty  of  appropriating  the  writings  of  others 
and  palming  them  off  as  my  own.  It  is  charged 
that  I  delivered  a  speech  on  Temperance  in 
which  I  used  the  language  of  another  and  pre- 
tended that  it  was  original. 

"The  facts  concerning  this  foolish  and  mali- 
cious charge  are  as  follows  : 

"  In  1876,  in  the  course  of  my  argument  in 
the  Munn  trial  at  Chicago,  I  used  the  following 
language : 

"  *  I  believe,  gentlemen,  that  alcohol,  to  a  cer- 
tain degree,  demoralizes  those  who  make  it, 
those  who  sell  it,  and  those  who  drink  it.  I 
believe  from  the  time  it  issues  from  the  coiled 
and  poisonous  worm  of  the  distillery  until  it 
empties  into  the  hell  of  crime,  death,  and  dis- 
honor, it  demoralizes  everybody  that  touches 
it.  I  do  not  believe  that  anybody  can  contem- 
plate the  subject  without  becoming  prejudiced 
against  this  liquid  crime.  All  you  have  to  do, 
gentlemen,  is  to  think  of  the  wrecks  upon  either 
bank  of  this  stream  of  death — of  the  suicides, 
of  the  insanity,  of  the  poverty,  of  the  ignorance, 
of  the  distress,  of  the  little  children  tugging  at 
the  faded  dresses  of  weeping  and  despairing 
wives,  asking  for  bread ;  of  the  men  of  genius 
it  has  wrecked ;  of  the  millions  who  have 
struggled  with  imaginary  serpents  produced  by 
this  devilish  thing.  And  when  you  think  of  the 
jails,  of  the  almshouses,  of  the  prisons,  and  of 
the  scaffolds  upon  either  bank — I  do  not  wonder 


HIS   "  TEMPEKANOE  "   SPEECH.  15 

that  every  thoughtful  man  is  prejudiced  against 
the  damned  stuff  called  alcohol.* 

"  This  is  the  only  '  Temperance '  speech  I  ever 
made. 

"  A  year  or  so  after  this  some  temperance  lec- 
turer appropriated  what  I  said  in  the  Munn 
trial,  and  also  the  following  from  some  one 
else : 

"  *  Intemperance  cuts  down  youth  in  its  vigor, 
manhood  in  its  strength,  and  age  in  its  weak- 
ness. It  breaks  the  father's  heart,  bereaves  the 
doting  mother,  extinguishes  natural  affections, 
erases  conjugal  loves,  blots  out  filial  attach- 
ments, blasts  parental  hopes,  and  brings  down 
mourning  age  in  sorrow  to  the  grave.  It  pro- 
duces weakness,  not  strength ;  sickness,  not 
health  ;  death,  not  life.  It  makes  wives  widows, 
children  orphans,  fathers  fiends — and  all  of  them 
paupers  and  beggars.  It  feeds  rheumatism, 
nurses  gout,  welcomes  epidemic,  invites  cholera, 
imparts  pestilence,  and  embraces  consumption. 
It  covers  the  land  with  idleness,  misery,  and 
crime.  It  fills  your  jails,  supplies  your  alms- 
houses, and  demands  your  asylums.  It  engend- 
ers controversies,  fosters  quarrels,  and  cherishes 
riots.  It  crowds  your  penitentiaries  and  fur- 
nishes victims  to  your  scaffolds.  It  is  the  life- 
blood  of  the  gambler,  the  aliment  of  the  burg- 
lar, the  prop  of  the  highwayman,  and  the  support 
of  the  midnight  incendiary.  It  countenances 
the  liar,  respects  the  thief,  and  esteems  the 
blasphemer.  It  violates  obligations,  reverences 
frauds,  and  honors  infamy.  It  defames  benevo- 
lence, hates  love,  scorns  virtue,  and  slanders 
innocence.  It  incites  the  father  to  butcher  his 
helpless  offspring ;  helps  the  husband  to  mas- 
sacre his  wife  and  the  child  to  grind  the  parri- 


16  HIS  "temperance"  speech. 

cidal  axe.  It  burns  up  men,  consumes  women, 
detests  life,  curses  God,  and  despises  heaven. 
It  suborns  witnesses,  nurses  perjury,  defiles  the 
jury-box,  and  stains  the  judicial  ermine.  It  de- 
grades the  citizen,  debases  the  legislator,  dis- 
honors the  statesman,  and  disarms  the  patriot. 
It  brings  shame,  not  honor  ;  terror,  not  safety; 
despair,  not  hope ;  misery,  not  happiness,  and 
with  the  malevolence  of  a  fiend  it  calmly  sur- 
veys its  frightful  desolation — and,  unsatisfied 
with  its  havoc,  it  poisons  felicity,  kills  peace, 
ruins  morals,  blights  confidences,  slays  reputa- 
tion, and  wipes  out  national  honors  ;  then  curses 
the  world  and  laughs  at  its  ruin.  It  does  all 
that  and  more — it  murders  the  soul.  It  is  the 
sum  of  villainies,  the  father  of  all  crimes,  the 
mother  of  abominations,  the  devil's  best  friend, 
and  God's  worst  enemy.' 

"  These  two  pieces — one  taken  from  me  and 
the  one  just  quoted — were  put  together  and 
published  as  one  piece.  Somebody  recognized 
the  first  part  as  mine  and  charged  that  the  whole 
had  been  stolen  from  me.  A  paper  was  sent 
me  in  which  both  pieces  appeared  as  mine.  I 
at  once  disclaimed  all  authorship  and  knowledge 
of  the  second  piece,  but  admitted  that  the  first 
part  was  mine.  I  have  made  this  explanation 
hundreds  of  times,  but  the  charge  is  still  made. 
Now  I  wish  to  say  that  the  first  article  is  mine, 
and  I  will  give  a  thousand  dollars  reward  to  any 
one  who  will  show  that  it  is  not  original. 

"As  to  the  second  article  :  I  will  give  the  same 
amount  to  any  one  who  will  show  that  I  ever 
pretended  that  I  was  the  author;  that  I  ever 
uttered  it,  or  wrote  it,  or  repeated  it,  or  pub- 
lished it,  or  claimed  it  directly  or  indirectly,  as 
my  own. 

"Some  persons  without  my  authority  have 


HIS  "temperance"  speech.  17- 

pretended  to  publish  my  lectures.  Rhodes  & 
McClure  of  Chicago  have  published  a  book  tilled 
with  pretended  sayings  of  mine.  In  this  book 
this  'Temperance  speech'  appears.  I  com- 
menced suit  to  enjoin  them  not  only,  but  wrote 
them  that  the  second  part  of  the  '  Temperance 
speech '  was  not  mine  and  requested  them  not 
to  publish  it  as  such. 

"Hundreds  of  times  I  have  disclaimed  the 
authorship  of  this  piece.  Persons  who  know 
my  religious  opinions  ought  to  know  that 
under  no  circumstance  could  I  be  the  author, 
and  that  under  no  circumstances  could  I  afford 
to  appropriate  the  language  of  others  without 
giving  full  credit.  Hoping  that  you  will  have 
the  justice  to  print  the  denial,  I  remain, 

"Yours  truly,        Egbert  G.  Ingersoll." 

It  seems  the  clergy  were  so  angry  that  Col- 
onel Ingersoll  should  say  anything  of  which 
they  might  be  supposed  to  approve — as  this  de- 
nunciation of  alcohol — that  they  had  to  try  to 
rob  him  of  the  credit  by  accusing  him  of  plagiar- 
izing it.  So  much  did  they  hate  him  for  having 
denounced  the  cruelties  of  religion  that  they 
could  not  forgive  him  even  when  he  joined  with 
them  in  denouncing  alcohol ! 

Further  light  on  this  matter  of  plagiarism  is 
had  by  reference  to  some  correspondence  pub- 
lished in  the  Christian  Standard,  of  Cincinnati, 
issue  dated  October  29,  1881.  On  October  16, 
1881,  W.  S.  Bush,  of  Washington,  D.  C,  a 
lawyer  then  associated  with  Colonel  Ingersoll, 
wrote  to  W.  H.  Lamaster,  of  Noblesville,  Ind. 
as    follows,  his    communication    appearing  in 


r 


18  HIS  "temperance"  speech. 

the  Standard  of  date  referred  to :  "  The  charge 
of  plagiarism  against  Colonel  Ingersoll  is  an 
old,  stale  charge,  exploded  again  and  again,  and 
now  revamped  by  Braden.  It  originated  first 
with  the  Jacksonville  (111.)  Journal,  and  was 
followed  up  until  it  was  proven  that  the  por- 
tions published  in  Gunn's  book  in  1866  were 
stolen  from  prior  temperance  documents  pub- 
lished in  Ohio  and  New  York." 

In  1899,  the  New  York  Methodist  Advocate 
published  the  libel  in  answer  to  a  correspond- 
ent, and  the  writer  of  this  corrected  the  editor, 
setting  forth  these  facts,  which  induced  him 
to  investigate  the  matter,  and  in  the  Advocate 
of  January  18,  1900,  the  explanation  appeared, 
as  written  by  D.  C.  Babcock  of  Dover,  N.  H.» 
as  follows :  *'  If  you  will  look  in  Volume  II, 
pages  19  and  20,  of  *  Permanent  Temperance 
Documents,'  you  will  find  a  petition  to  the 
Ohio  legislature  from  Portage,  dated  Fedruary, 
1838,  when  Mr.  Ingersoll  was  about  three  [five] 
years  old.  The  documents  referred  to  above 
are  in  the  James  Black  Library  in  the  National 
Temperance  Society's  rooms,  Nos.  3  and  5  West 
Eighteenth  street." 

That  is  all  there  is  to  the  "  temperance " 
speech  which  the  clergy  accuse  Mr.  Ingersoll  of 
plagiarizing.  But  this  portion,  as  he  says,  was 
ever  uttered  by  him  nor  claimed  by  him. 

A  few  years  afterwards,  however,  they  endeav- 
ored to  get  even  with  him  by  crying  out  that 
he  is  a  eulogist  of  whisky.  The  occasion  was 
when  he  wrote  this  letter  : 


ABOUT  WHISKY.  19 

"  New  York,  April,  1887. 
"  My  Dear  Friend  :  I  send  you  some  of  the 
most  wonderful  whisky  that  ever  drove  the  skele- 
ton from  a  feast  or  painte(}  landscapes  in  the 
brain  of  man.  It  is  the  minf];led  souls  of  wheat 
and  corn.  In  it  you  will  find  the  sunshine  and 
the  shadow  that  chased  each  other  over  the 
billowy  fields  ;  the  breath  of  June  ;  the  carol  of 
ths  lark  ;  the  dews  of  night ;  the  wealth  of 
summer  and  autumn's  rich  content,  all  golden 
with  imprisoned  light.  Drink  it  and  you  will 
hear  the  voices  of  men  and  maidens  singing  the 
*  Harvest  Home,' mingled  with  the  laughter  of 
children.  Drink  it  and  you  will  feel  within 
your  blood  the  star-lit  dawns,  the  dreamy, 
tawny  dusks  of  many  perfect  days.  For  forty 
years  this  liquid  joy  has  been  within  the  happy 
staves  of  oak,  longing  to  touch  the  lips  of  men. 

"  B.  G.  Ingersoll." 

Now,  the  truth  about  this  is  as  follows  :  Col- 
onel Ingersoll's  young  friend  Brown — now  his 
son-in-law — was  sick  with  pneumonia.  The  doc- 
tor prescribed  whisky  in  small  doses,  as  nearly  all 
doctors  do  in  such  cases.  Another  friend  of  Mr. 
Ingersoll's  had  some  time  previously  made  him 
a  present  of  a  jug  of  very  old  whisky.  Of  this  jug 
the  Colonel  sent  Mr.  Brown  a  bottle,  and  to  cheer 
him  up  and  give  a  happy  moment  he  sent  the 
letter  with  it.  That  is  all  there  is  to  this  much- 
talked-of  "  eulogy  of  whisky."  The  letter  is 
simply  a  highly  poetic  description  of  the  process 
of  manufacturing  whisky,  and  anyone  with  a  bit 
of  imagination  in  him  can  see  it.  The  Colonel 
did  not  ask  Mr.  Brown  to  get  drunk,  nor  does 
he  intimate  that  whisky  is  a  beverage  to  be 


20  PROHIBITION — TOBACCO. 

drank  inordinately.  He  sent  it  as  a  medicine, 
and  we  never  heard  that  it  is  a  crime  for  even 
an  Infidel  to  desire  that  his  sick  friend  should 
recover.  And  one  would  think,  too,  that  his 
previous  denunciation  of  alcohol  would  have 
been  sufficient  to  restrain  the  men  of  God  in 
some  slight  degree. 

But  we  do  not  want  to  convey  the  impression 
that  Colonel  Ingersoll  is  a  Prohibitionist.  He 
is  not.  On  this  subject  he  has  said  in  a  letter 
to  a  gentleman  of  Galveston,  Texas  : 

"  Washington,  D.  C,  May  19, 1887. 
"  My  Dear  Young  Friend  :  I  was  never  a 
Prohibitionist — never  have  believed  in  sumptu- 
ary legislation — but  have  always  advocated  the 
greatest  individual  liberty.  The  editor  [of  a 
paper,  who  had  asserted  that  he  was  a  Prohibi- 
tionist] is  mistaken.  The  trouble  with  Prohibi- 
tion is  that  it  fills  the  country  with  spies — 
makes  neighbors  suspicious  of  each  other — fills 
the  community  with  meddlers — with  people  who 
poke  their  impudent  noses  into  the  business  of 
others.  Besides,  Prohibition  does  not  prohibit 
— it  does  not  even  prohibit  the  Prohibitionists. 
*'  Yours  truly,  R.  G.  Ingersoll." 


ON  tobacco. 

Colonel  Ingersoll  wrote  also  a  eulogy  of  to- 
bacco, of  which  he  is  not  a  bit  ashamed.  It  is 
as  follows : 

"Nearly  four  centuries  ago  Columbus,  the 
adventurous,  in  the  blessed  island  of  Cuba,  saw 
happy  people  with  rolled  leaves  between  their 
lips.      Above  their  heads  were  little  clouds  of 


ON  TOBAOOO.  21 

smoke.  Their  faces  were  serene,  and  in  their 
eyes  was  the  autumnal  heaven  of  content.  These 
people  were  kind,  innocent,  gentle,   and  loving. 

"  The  climate  of  Cuba  is  the  friendship  of 
the  earth  and  air,  and  of*  this  climate  the  sacred 
leaves  were  born — the  leaves  that  breed  in  the 
mind  of  him  who  uses  them  the  cloudless, 
happy  days  in  which  they  grew. 

"These  leaves  make  friends  and  celebrate 
with  gentle  rites  the  vows  of  peace.  They  have 
given  consolation  to  the  world.  They  are  the 
companions  of  the  lonely — the  friends  of  the 
imprisoned — of  the  exile — of  workers  in  mines 
— of  fellers  of  forests — of  sailors  on  the  deep 
seas.  They  are  the  givers  of  strength  and  calm 
to  the  vexed  and  wearied  minds  of  those  who 
build  with  thought  and  brain  the  temples  of  the 
soul. 

"  They  tell  of  hope  and  rest.  They  smootb 
the  wrinkled  brows  of  care — drive  fear  and 
strange,  misshapen  dreads  from  out  the  mind, 
and  fill  the  heart  with  rest  and  peace.  Within 
their  magic  warp  and  woof  some  potent,  gracious 
spell  imprisoned  lies  that,  when  released  by  fire, 
doth  softly  steal  within  the  fortress  of  the  brain, 
and  bind  in  sleep  the  captured  sentinels  of  care 
and  grief. 

"  These  leaves  are  the  friend  of  the  fireside, 
and  their  smoke-like  incense  rises  from  myriads 
of  happy  homes.     Cuba  is  the  smile  of  the  sea." 

Various  persons  have  taken  these  eulogies  of 
whisky  and  tobacco  too  seriously,  as  inculcating 
bad  morals.  To  one  of  these  the  Colonel  once 
replied  : 

"  There  are  some  people  so  constituted  that 
there  is  no  room  in  the  heaven  of  their  minds 
for  the  butterflies  and  moths  of  fancy  to  spread 


22  INGEESOLL    IN    THE    ARMY. 

their  wings.  Everything  is  taken  in  solemn  and 
stupid  earnest.  Such  men  wouhl  hold  Shak- 
spere  responsible  for  what  Falstaff  said  about 
*  sack,'  and  for  Mrs.  Quickly's  notions  of  pro- 
priety. 

"  There  is  an  old  Greek  saying  which  is  ap- 
plicable here:  'In  the  presence  of  human 
stupidity,  even  the  gods  stand  helpless."* 

Since  reading  that  we  have  never  felt  like  try. 
ing  to  correct  Mr.  IngersoU's  morals. 

COLONEL  INGEESOLL  IN  THE  AEMY. 

On  the  authority  of  a  scurrilous  pamphlet  by 
a  nameless  scoundrel,  the  preachers  of  the 
country  are  telling  their  congregations  that 
Colonel  IngersoU's  war  record  is  derogatory  to 
his  manhood.  The  form  of  their  accusations  is 
substantially  the  same,  showing  that  they 
emanate  from  a  common  source,  and  the  words 
are  usually  these  :  "He  was  in  but  one  engage- 
ment, and  in  that  was  chased  into  a  hogyard 
and  actually  taken  prisoner  by  a  sixteen-year- 
old  Confederate  boy." 

There  is  not  one  word  of  truth  in  this,  except 
that  he  was  captured  by  the  Confederates.  He 
was  in  two  battles  previous  to  this  skirmish — 
Shiloh  and  Corinth,  Miss., — and  won  an  enviable 
record  in  both,  as  is  proved  by  his  soldiers  and 
officers.  The  following  letter  from  one  of  the 
Colonel's  officers  gives  a  brief  and  correct  his- 
tory of  Mr.  IngersoU's  army  experience.  It  was 
published   in   the   Peoria    daily    Transcript  of 


THE   SKIRMISH.  23  .  '  ^'^ 

April  11, 1891,  and  was  written  to  D.  N.  Harwood, 
of  Shelbyville,  111. 

"Peobia,  III.,  March  14,  1891. 

"  Mr.  D.  N.  Harwood,  Shelbyville,  111. — Dear 
Sir :  I  have  received  your  letter  asking  in  re- 
gard to  the  service  of  Col.  Robert  G.  Ingersoll 
in  the  Union  army  and  the  battles  in  which  he 
was  engaged.  I  am  glad  to  be  able  to  answer 
your  inquiries  from  an  intimate  personal  knowl- 
edge of  the  facts. 

"The  Eleventh  Illinois  Cavalry,  Colonel 
Ingersoll  in  command,  left  camp  in  Peoria,  111,, 
February  22,  1862,  marching  overland  to  St. 
Louis.  From  that  point  it  proceeded  by  trans- 
port to  Pittsburg  Landing,  where  it  arrived  in 
March,  and  on  tlie  sixth  and  seventh  days  of 
April  participated  in  the  memorable  battle  of 
Shiloh,  where  Colonel  Ingersoll  did  good  ser- 
vice, several  of  its  number  being  killed  and 
wounded. 

"  Its  next  experience,  except  the  constant 
scouting  required  of  a  cavalry  command,  was  in 
that  other  two  days'  fight  at  Corinth,  Miss. 
There  again,  under  command  of  its  gallant 
Colonel,  it  proved  its  loyal  bravery,  like  the 
regiments  that  fought  by  its  side,  by  its  list  of 
wounded  and  dead.  The  regiment  was  next 
stationed  at  Jackson,  Tenn.,  and,  on  the  28th 
day  of  November,  1862,  news  of  the  movements 
of  the  raiding  rebel  cavalry  under  Forrest  hav- 
ing been  received,  Colonel  Ingersoll,  with  a 
force  consisting  of  a  part  of  his  own  and  another 
cavalry  regiment  and  a  section  of  artillery,  in 
all  numbering  six  hundred  men,  was  dispatched 
on  a  reconnoitering  expedition  in  the  direction 
of  Lexington,  Tenn.  We  camped  at  night  near 
the  village,  and  very  early  tlie  next  morning 
were  attacked  by  a  rebel  division  at  least  ten 


24  TAKEN    PRISONER. 

thousand  strong.  He  (Colonel  Ingersoll)  had 
only  time  to  deploy  his  small  force  in  a  single 
rank  on  each  side  of  the  road,  where  he  had 
planted  the  artillery,  and  where,  having  dis- 
mounted, he  was  personally  directing  the  ser- 
vice of  his  two  guns,  when  we  were  literally 
overwhelmed  by  the  rebel  forces,  charging  six 
ranks  deep.  A  good  many  of  our  command,  be- 
ing run  over  and  passed  by  the  enemy,  escaped 
as  best  they  could,  but  Colonel  Ingersoll,  fight- 
ing on  foot,  together  with  part  of  his  men  and 
the  battery,  was  entirely  surrounded  and  over- 
borne by  numbers,  and  surrended  to  the  enemy. 
Forrest,  supposing,  no  doubt,  that  a  large  force 
was  in  his  front,  immediately  paroled  his  pris- 
oners and  pushed  forward.  Colonel  Ingersoll 
was  sent  to  St.  Louis  to  command  a  paroled 
camp,  and  here,  attacked  by  illness,  he  waited 
weary  months  for  his  exchange.  As  there  ap- 
peared little  prospect  of  this,  all  exchanges  at 
this  time  having  been  suspended  by  the  govern- 
ment. Colonel  Ingersoll,  despairing  of  a  return 
to  active  service,  visited  his  regiment  in  the  fall 
and  declared  his  intention  to  resign.  Though 
deeply  regretting  the  loss  of  their  brave  and 
genial  commander,  the  boys  bade  him  good-bye 
with  the  conviction  that  under  the  circumstances 
his  course  was  the  wisest  one.  Thus  the  gov- 
ernment lost  his  personal  services  in  the  field, 
but  on  his  return  home  his  matchless  eloquence 
in  behalf  of  the  old  flag  and  his  old  comrades  in 
the  front  were  worth  thousands  of  men  and  mill- 
ions of  money,  and  will  live  when  marble  has 
crumbled  to  dust. 

"  I  have  thus  sketched  in  such  meager  outline 
as  will  come  within  the  limits  of  an  ordinary 
letter  the  facts  you  request ;  and  as  I  am  per- 
sonally unknown  to  you,  I  refer  you,  as  to  the 
correctness  of  these  statements,  to  some  of  the 


GROUNDLESS   CHAUGES.  25 

officers  of  Colonel  Infrersoll's  regiment,  I  will 
name  Lieut.-Col.  B.  D.  Meek,  of  Eureka,  111.; 
Major  S.  D.  Puterbaiigh,  Capt.  P.  F.  Elliott, 
Capt.  Geo.  W.  Odell,  and  Lieut.  W.  G.  A. 
Buchanan,  all  of  Peoria,  111.  The  last  named 
comrade,  having  been  wounded  in  the  field,  was 
an  eye-witness  of  the  capture  of  Colonel  Inger- 
soll  and  his  men  by  the  rebels. 

"  Yours  very  respectfully, 

"  John  W.  Kimsey, 
"Late  Lieutenant,    Company   B,   11th  Illinois 
Cavalry." 

We  want  to  ask  the  preachers  if  they  see  any 
evidence  of  cowardice  in  that  account.  Any 
disgrace  in  having  six  hundred  men  captured 
by  ten  thousand  ?  Is  a  man,  in  their  opinion, 
personally  a  coward  who  will  get  down  off  his 
horse,  and,  with  only  two  ranks  of  three  hundred 
men  each,  work  a  couple  of  guns  in  the  face  of 
and  at  ten  thousand  men  ?  Is  a  man  who  com- 
manded a  regiment  throughout  the  battle  of 
Shiloh,  doing  "  good  service,"  a  military  failure 
or  a  coward?  Be  honest,  gentleman,  now,  and 
tell  the  truth. 

On  another  occasion  Mr.  Kimsey  referred 
to  the  charge  that  Colonel  Ingersoll  shirked  his 
duty  in  the  war,  as  follows,  his  letter  being 
printed  in  the  Transcript  of  Peoria,  111.,  Sep- 
tember, 1889: 

"  To  THE  Editor  :  It  makes  my  blood  boil,  as 
it  no  doubt  does  that  of  every  survivor  of  the 
11th  Illinois  Cavalry,  to  read  the  unscrupulous 
and  groundless  charges  against  the  bravery  of 
Col.  Eobert  G.  Ingersoll. 


26  HAND   TO   HAND. 

"Now,  I  am  no  guardian  of  the  Colonel  or  his 
interests.  He  needs  none.  History  is  slow  and 
calumny  is  swift.  Time,  therefore,  will  do 
Colonel  IngersoU  justice  if  I  and  every  member 
of  his  command  remain  silent. 

"It  was  in  the  fall  of  1862  that  our  regi- 
ment was  encamped  at  Jackson,  Tenn.  Then 
came  word  of  a  raid  by  Forrest  in  force,  in  the 
direction  of  Lexington,  some  twenty  miles 
away;  and  to  that  point,  with  a  part  of  his  com- 
mand, he  was  ordered  to  move.  With  some  six  or 
seven  hundred  men  and  two  pieces  of  artillery, 
Colonel  Ingersoll  moved  out  that  afternoon,  and 
at  the  end  of  a  forced  march  encamped  late  that 
night  near  Lexington,  an  old  tumble-down 
village,  not  Corinth,  as  this  monumental  liar 
says. 

"Very  early  the  next  morning  the  command 
was  ordered  *  to  horse,'  for  the  pickets  had  been 
driven  in  and  the  woods  in  front  were  swarming 
with  rebel  cavalry.  Forrest,  with  his  whole 
division,  not  less  than  ten  thousand  cavalry,  was 
bearing  down  on  our  handful,  that  an  hour  be- 
fore had  seemed  an  army.  Then  Colonel  Liger- 
soll  arose  to  the  height  of  the  hour.  He  formed 
a  single  line  across  the  Lexington  road,  all  that 
his  meager  force  would  permit,  planted  his  park 
of  artillery  in  the  road,  and  awaited  the  assault. 
He  did  not  wait  long,  for  Forrest,  with  a  line 
longer  than  his  own,  and  five  or  six  ranks  deep, 
an  avalanche  of  men  and  horses,  came  down 
upon  him.  It  was  then  that  the  Colonel  dis- 
mounted in  the  middle  of  the  line,  and  standing 
by  the  two  guns  in  the  road,  encouraged  the 
men,  as  one  after  the  other  went  down,  with  his 
calm  instructions  to  *  Give  them  canister ! ' 
'Give  it  to  them  in  their  faces!*  'Shoot  low, 
boys,  and  shoot  slow,  but  hit  'em ! '  And  there  he 
Btood  when  the  moving  mass  of  men  and  horses, 


THE  FARGO   ARGUS   TESTIFIEg.  27 

of  friend  and  foe,  were  mingled  for  a  moment 
(it  seemed  like  an  hour!)  in  a liand-to-hand con- 
flict. Then  it  was  by  the  very  fact  of  over- 
whelming numbers  the  rebels  could  not  find  us 
all,  and  Ingersoll,  with  a  portion  of  his  regi- 
ment, actually  broke  through  the  solid  mass 
and  came  out  in  the  rear  of  the  rebel  line,  where 
we  were  surrounded  and  captured. 

"Ingersoll  was  paroled  that  night,  as  Forrest 
had  no  idea  that  he  had  struck  anything  more 
than  our  skirmish  line.  He  supposed  that  the 
battle  was  ahead,  and  had  no  time  to  fool  with 
prisoners.  The  Colonel  was  then  sent  up  to 
command  a  parole  camp  at  St.  Louis,  where  he 
waited  wearily  to  be  exchanged,  so  as  to  get 
back  to  the  front.  Some  of  his  men,  weary  of 
waiting,  got  leave  to  go  out  aud  work  in  Mis- 
souri harvest  fields  ;  and  it  was  here  that,  after 
months  of  this  illness,  the  Colonel  resigned. 
He  came  into  camp  and  told  the  boys  why.  He 
could  not  rust  there  as  a  paroled  prisoner,  and 
all  approved  his  choice  to  resign  and  get  back, 
since  he  could,  into  life's  activities. 

"Call  Ingersoll  an  Infidel;  say  that  he  was 
reckless ;  say  that  he  was  blasphemous  under 
provocation  ;  but  do  not  say  in  the  presence  of 
a  member  of  the  Eleventh  Illinois  Cavalry  that 
he  was  a  coward,  or  that  he  shirked  a  post  of 
duty  because  of  its  dangers." 

The  letter  of  Lieutenant  Kimsey's  has  been 
in  print  several  years,  yet  it  did  not  prevent 
the  little  minister  of  Aberdeen  from  preaching 
the  sermon  before  printed,  which  induced  the 
editor  of  the  Fargo  Argus  to  say  in  his  issue  of 
Dec.  21,  1895 : 

"The  writer  knew  Colonel  Ingersoll  person- 
ally, and  the  charges  against  him  by  the  Aber- 


28  A  PLEASING  STORY. 

deen  preacher  are  too  silly  to  talk  about.  On 
the  battlefield  of  Shiloh  his  personal  courage 
was  tested  and  found  not  wanting.  This  also' 
the  writer  witnessed.  His  home  life  is  as  beau- 
tiful as  a  poem.  In  character  he  is  a  clean, 
loving,  manly  man,  hating  the  vile  and  rever- 
encing the  good.  As  for  his  religion — that 
seems  not  to  be  in  the  question  ;  but  as  for  his 
personal  character,  only  those  ignorant  of  tha 
facts  assail  it" 

One  word  from  a  man  who  knows  is  better 
than  a  whole  book  by  one  who  does  not. 

Colonel  Ingersoll  did  not  surrender  to  a  six- 
teen-year-old Confederate  boy,  but  to  Major 
G.  V.  Rambaut,  of  Forrest's  command.  And  in 
regard  to  this  the  following  pleasing  little  story 
is  now  going  the  rounds  of  the  press  of  the 
country : 

"  During  the  recent  visit  of  Robert  G.  Inger- 
soll to  Memphis,  Tenn.,  an  incident  occurred 
that  served  to  remind  him  of  his  war  experience. 
After  the  lecture  he  attended  a  reception  given 
in  his  honor  by  Col.  and  Mrs.  William  R.  Moore. 
Of  the  guests  that  were  presented  to  him,  he 
regarded  one  with  an  eye  of  vague  recognition. 

"  '  Surely  I  have  seen  you  somewhere  before,' 
said  the  Colonel. 

*' '  Was  it  not  about  thirty  years  ago? *  asked 
the  other.      'That  is  to  say,  in  December,  1862  ? ' 

"  '  I  have  reason  to  remember  that  month,'* 
said  Colonel  Ingersoll.  *  It  was  then  that  I  was 
captured  by  the  Confederates.' 

"*And  so  have  I,' replied  the  guost,  *for  it 
was  then  that  I  had  the  honor  of  capturing  a 
certain  Federal  Colonel     Don't  you  remember 


HIS   PATRIOTISM.  29 

Major  G.  Y.  Kambaut,  of  General  Forrest's 
command? ' 

"The  Colonel  did  remember,  and  tlie  two  ex- 
warriors  sought  a  corner  and  recalled  the  details 
of  the  event.  Colonel  Ingersoll,  in  command  of 
an  Illinois  regiment  of  cavahy,  was  overwhelmed 
by  a  large  force  of  Forrest's  cavalry.  The 
colonel  was  on  foot,  and  the  enemy,  led  by 
Major  Rambaut,  was  on  him  before  he  could  get 
away.  Immediately  after  the  capture  of  Inger- 
soll.  General  Forrest  rode  up. 

"  'Who's  in  command  of  those  troops?'  cried 
Forrest,  pointing  toward  the  flying  Illinois 
cavalrymen. 

"'I  don't  know,'  replied  Ingersoll,  jocularly. 

"'Who  was  in  command?'  amended  the 
general. 

"'If  you'll  keep  the  secret,'  said  Ingersoll, 
blandly,  '  I'll  tell  you.     I  was.' 

"  Colonel  Ingersoll's  good  humor  pleased 
Forrest,  who  treated  him  well.  After  the  war 
Forrest  and  Ingersoll  renewed  their  acquaint- 
ance in  Washington  and  became  warm  friends, 
but  the  Colonel  did  not  meet  Major  Rambaut 
until  his  recent  visit  to  Memphis,  thirty  years 
later.* 

While  serving  at  Jackson,  before  his  capture, 
Colonel  Ingersoll  was  chief  of  cavalry,  and  he 
was  offered  a  generalship,  but  declined  it  on 
the  ground  that,  with  his  lack  of  experience  in 
military  matters,  the  command  of  a  regiment 
was  all  the  responsibility  he  was  willing  to  ac- 
cept. The  Colonel  was  one  of  the  very  first  to 
respond  to  the  call  for  troops,  and  raised  four 
regiments  early  in  the  summer  of  1861.  He 
took  the  colonelcy  of  the  Eleventh  Illinois  Cav- 


30  AN  INCIDENT. 

airy,  and  went  to  the  front,  with  the  results 
told  by  Lieutenant  Kimsey. 

A  little  incident  which  occurred  during  his 
captivity  illustrates  well  the  unselfish  character 
of  the  man.  Among  the  officers  captured  with 
him  was  one  named  Frye  (afterward  Colonel)  on 
whom  the  imprisonment  told  severely  because 
of  his  greater  age,  and  the  Confederate  officers 
had  ordered  him  to  be  sent  to  Libby  prison.  In- 
gersoll  wrote  a  letter  to  Forrest,  on  behalf  of 
Frye,  asking  to  be  allowed  to  take  Frye's  place  ; 
and  so  eloquently  did  he  plead  that  Forrest  was 
touched  and  consented  to  the  immediate  ex- 
change of  the  whole  of  them.  The  Colonel, 
however,  was  not  exchanged,  but  was  sent  to 
command  a  parole  camp  at  St.  Louis,  as  related 
by  Lieutenant  Kimsey.  Frye  probably  owes 
his  life  to  Colonel  Ingersoll's  fetching  way  of 
putting  things.  Some  of  the  prisoners  were 
sent  to  Andersonville,  and  when  the  roll  of 
those  to  go  was  called  it  stopped  just  short 
of  R.  G.  IngersoU.  The  next  name  would 
have  been  his. 

Another  pleasant  story  connected  with  the 
Colonel's  capture  is  this,  told  to  a  reporter  of 
the  New  York  Sun:  "  I  served  in  Col.  Bob  In- 
gersoll's command,"  said  a  veteran  of  the  Och- 
iltree Club  at  the  panorama  of  Bull  Run  this 
morning,  "  and  whenever  I  want  to  have  a  good 
laugh  I  recall  in  my  mind  the  incidents  con- 
nected with  his  capture  in  Tennessee.  I  have 
seen  somewhere  a  cruel  paragraph  to  the  effect 
that  the  Colonel  surrendered  very  willingly,  and 


IN  CAPTIVITY.  31 

f  want  to  brand  that  falsehood  for  Just  what  it 
is.  A  braver  man  I  never  saw  in  five  years  of 
service.  We  were  scattered  over  a  good  deal 
of  territory  surrounding  a  village  at  the  time 
the  Colonel  was  taken  in  and  cared  for  by  the 
Johnnies.  We  were  in  a  skirmish  at  the  time, 
and  had  been  run  over  by  about  10,000  of 
Forrest's  men.  But  the  Colonel  kept  on  fight- 
ing. A  number  of  his  men  saw  that  he  was  in 
imminent  peril,  and  that  if  he  didn't  surrender 
he  would  be  killed,  and  they  yelled  at  him  at 
the  top  of  their  voices  to  give  up.  He  heeded, 
but  I  could  see  that  he  did  so  with  regret  and 
disgust.  Here  is  where  the  humor  began. 
When  the  Colonel  stopped  fighting  he  threw 
up  his  hands  and  screamed  out,  '  Stop  firing ! 
I'll  acknowledge  your  d — d  old  Confederacy.' 

"The  Colonel  was  taken  over  to  a  store  for  safe 
keeping,  and  he  proved  to  be  a  great  curiosity. 
People  flocked  around  him,  listened  to  his 
stories,  laughed,  and  declared  that  they  were 
having  more  fun  than  they  ever  had  in  their 
lives.  One  night  the  Colonel  sat  around  the 
store  till  a  goodly  number  of  the  rebels  came 
in,  and  then  he  began  to  treat  and  tell  yarns. 
Finally  the  crowd  overflowed  the  place  and 
blocked  up  the  entrance  to  it.  Then  the  Colonel 
went  outside.  The  boys  were  all  feeling  well 
under  the  potency  of  words  and  drinks,  and 
every  man,  woman,  and  child  within  the  sound 
of  his  voice  loved  him.  Directly  the  Colonel 
was  asked  to  make  a  speech.     This  was  what 


32  TALKING  TO  THE  REBEL8. 

he  was  working  for,  and  a  minute  later  lie  was 
on  a  box  and  addressing  the  crowd — and  it  was 
a  right  rough  crowd,  too.  No  lecture  that  great 
orator  has  ever  delivered  contained  so  much 
that  was  good  in  it.  It  fairly  bubbled  over  with 
goodwill  and  the  milk  of  human  kindness.  He 
pictured  how  regretfully  the  North  took  up 
arms  against  the  South,  reminding  his  hearers 
that  they  had  fired  the  first  shot  in  their  assault 
upon  Fort  Sumter.  Then  he  went  o£f  on  slav- 
ery, placing  the  poor  white  before  him  in  the 
place  of  the  unfortunate  blacks,  a  people  with 
souls  and  all  the  instincts  of  the  whites,  but 
downtrodden  for  no  other  reason  than  that  they 
were  black.  He  pictured  the  scenes,  when  those 
who  had  held  human  souls  in  bondage  were 
called  before  the  judgment  throne  to  answer 
for  deeds  done  in  the  flesh.  It  was  a  touching 
appeal,  and  brought  out  streams  of  tears  and 
storms  of  applause  from  the  very  men  who  had 
but  a  few  hours  before  shot  at  and  captured 
him.  At  the  moment  when  the  most  pathetic 
passages  in  his  speech  were  being  delivered. 
General  Forrest  rushed  into  the  crowd,  all  aglow 
with  excitement,  but  not  anger,  and  exclaimed: 
*  Here,  Ingersoll,  stop  that  speech  and  I'll  ex- 
change you  for  a  government  mule.*  He  was 
demoralizing  the  whole  of  that  command." 
Forrest  wanted  to  exchange  him,  but  as  our  gov- 
ernment had  suspended  exchanges,  all  Forrest 
could  do  with  him  was  to  send  him  to  command 
the  parole  camp  at  St.  Louis. 


THE  BLMWOOD  REUNION.  33 

At  the  re-union  of  the  Eleventh  Illinois  Cav- 
alry at  Elm  wood,  September,  1895,  Colonel  Inger- 
soll  was  the  honored  guest  and  orator  of  the 
occasion.  The  town  was  gayly  decorated,  and 
pictures  and  busts  of  Mr.  Ingersoll  were  in  every 
window.  The  surviving  comrades  of  six  regi- 
ments were  present.  Colonel  Ingersoll  was  ac- 
companied from  Peoria  to  Elmwood  by  a  dele- 
gation of  more  than  five  hundred  prominent 
citizens.  As  he  passed  to  the  stand,  his  old 
regiment  lined  up  on  both  sides  of  the  way,  and 
as  he  went  through,  his  old  soldiers  gave  him 
the  most  pathetic  reception.  "  We  are  glad  to 
see  you,  Bob,"  was  the  shout,  and  scores  of  them 
had  tears  in  their  eyes  as  they  said  it.  And  so 
did  the  Colonel.  After  a  parade  of  the  veterans. 
Colonel  Ingersoll  made  a  speech.  In  introduc- 
ing him  the  chairman,  E.  R.  Brown,  referred  to 
the  time  the  Colonel  declared,  in  a  speech  in 
Rouse's  Hall,  that  from  that  time  forward 
"there  would  be  one  free  man  in  Illinois,"  and 
expressed  the  country's  indebtedness  to  him  for 
what  had  been  done  since  for  the  freedom  and 
happiness  of  mankind,  "by  his  mighty  brain, 
his  great  spirit,  and  his  gentle  heart."  The  ap- 
pearance of  Colonel  Ingersoll  (we  quote  from 
the  Peoria  Transcript's  report)  "  was  the  signal 
for  a  mighty  shout,  which  was  heartily  joined  in 
by  every  one  present.  It  was  fully  ten  minutes 
before  the  cheering  had  subsided,  and  when 
Colonel  Ingersoll  commenced  to  speak  the 
cheering  was  renewed  and  he  was  forced  to  wait 


84:  BEFORE   THE  WAR. 

several  minutes  more.     For  an  hour  and  a  half 
he  held  the  vast  audience  spellbound." 

Would  that  reception  have  been  accorded  him 
had  he  been  the  undeserving  soldier  the  min- 
isters say  he  was?  Would  those  veterans  have 
cried  over  a  coward,  or  a  man  unfit  to  lead  them 
in  war,  or  who  had  lacked  bravery  in  battle  ? 
It  is  an  insult  to  them  to  think  it,  and  it  would 
be  very  dangerous  to  say  it  where  they  could 
hear. 

COLONEL  INGERSOLL  IN  POLITICS. 

It  is  also  alleged  by  the  same  disreputable 
authority  which  started  the  story  as  to  the  cap- 
ture of  Colonel  Ingersoll,  that  he  was  a  violent 
pro-slavery  man  before  the  war.  The  facts  are 
that  Colonel  Ingersoll  was  a  Democrat  at  that 
time,  and  held  the  political  opinions  common  to 
his  party.  But  on  slavery,  when  he  was  run- 
ning for  Congress  against  William  Kellogg,  a 
Republican,  in  the  Fourth  Congressional  Dis- 
trict of  Illinois,  in  1860,  he  went  further  than 
Kellogg  in  denunciation  of  that  brutal  institu- 
tion. 

He  was  then  only  about  twenty-six  years  of 
age,  and  of  course  with  unformed  opinions.  J. 
K.  Magie,  for  many  years  a  Bepublican  poli- 
tician of  Illinois,  and  for  several  years  a  read- 
ing clerk  in  the  Illinois  legislature,  once  wrote 
for  us  this  about  Mr.  Ingersoll  at  that  period: 

"  He  was  overflowing  with  good  nature  and 
wit,  and  his  speeches  at  that  time  pleased  the 
crowd  more  than  they  instructed  it.     But  when 


AS  A   CANDIDATE.  36 

the  war  broke  upon  us  Mr.  Ingersoll  became 
more  serious  and  in  earnest.  Now  he  began  to 
discover  deep  thought  and  impassioned  utter- 
ances which  thrilled  and  stirred  his  hearers 
and  carried  them  to  higher  and  better  concep- 
tions of  their  duties  to  government  and  to  each 
other.  •  •  ■  He  was  in  great  demand  as  a 
speaker  during  the  latter  part  of  the  war,  and 
no  man  in  Illinois  did  more  for  the  cause  of  the 
Union  than  did  Mr.  Ingersoll." 

Along  about  1866  Mr.  Ingersoll  was  appointed 
attorney-general  of  Illinois  by  Governor  Ogles- 
by.  He  could  have  succeeded  himself  when 
the  office  was  made  elective,  but  was  induced  to 
become  a  candidate  for  governor,  and  was 
thrown  down  by  John  M.  Palmer,  who  accepted 
the  candidacy  after  having  said  he  would 
not,  thus  inducing  Mr.  Ingersoll  to  enter  the 
field.  In  the  convention  Palmer's  friends  used 
the  argument  that  Colonel  Ingersoll  was  an 
Infidel  to  defeat  hirn.  Then  the  politicians 
endeavored  to  get  Colonel  Ingersoll  to  accept 
the  candidacy  for  attorney-general,  but  he  re- 
fused, saying :  "  When  I  say  I  am  a  candidate 
for  a  particular  office  I  mean  it ;  and  when  I 
say  I  am  not  a  candidate  for  a  particular  office 
I  mean  that  too.  When  I  became  a  candidate 
for  governor  I  renounced  my  candidacy  for 
attorney-general,  and  other  candidates  were 
invited  into  the  field.  I  would  despise  myself 
forever  were  I  now  to  become  a  candidate 
against  any  of  these  men  whom  by  my  action  I 
have    invited    to    become    candidates."      Mr. 


36  THE   BERLIN  MISSION. 

IngersoU  was  as  square  in  politics  as  in  all 
things  else,  and  the  treachery  of  Mr.  Palmer  so 
disgusted  him  that  for  eight  years  he  took  no 
active  part  in  politics.  In  1876,  however,  he 
was  sent  to  the  Republican  national  convention 
as  a  delegate,  and  made  his  great  speech  nom- 
inating James  G.  Blaine.  When  Hayes  got  the 
ofl&ce  of  President,  Colonel  Ingersoll's  friends 
thought  that  he  should  have  the  mission  to 
Berlin,  and  presented  his  name  to  Mr.  Hayes 
for  that  office.  Illinois  felt  that  as  she  had  no 
representative  in  the  cabinet  she  should  have 
one  of  the  first-class  missions  for  one  of  her 
favorite  sons,  and  the  entire  delegation  of  sena- 
tors and  representatives  in  Congress  from  that 
state  went  to  Mr.  Hayes  and  requested  that  he 
appoint  Colonel  IngersoU  minister  to  Berlin. 
And  it  was  the  intention  of  Mr.  Hayes,  as  every 
well-informed  politician  knew  at  the  time,  to  do 
so ;  but  the  Methodists  got  the  ear  of  3Irs.  Hayes, 
and  she  prevailed  upon  her  husband  to  delay 
the  appointment,  and  while  it  was  hanging  up 
Colonel  IngersoU  went  to  the  secretary  of  state 
and  told  that  personage  that  he  did  not  desire 
his  name  used  in  connection  with  the  Berlin 
mission,  as  he  did  not  wish  the  position.  It 
was  the  general  impression  before  that,  that 
the  Colonel  would  accept.  Whether  he  would 
or  not,  no  one  but  himself  knows,  but  it  may  be 
surmised  that  he  heard  of  the  efforts  of  the 
Methodists  with  Mrs.  Hayes,  and  he  probably 
knew  her  influence  with   the   then  President, 


INGER80LL  AND  DOUGLAS.  37 

probably  the  smallest  man  who  ever  by  acci- 
dent obtained  an  office.  The  Illinois  papers,  at 
any  rate,  were  indignant,  and  one  of  them  said  : 
"  Our  people  are  unanimously  of  the  opinion 
that  Colonel  Ingersoll  was  most  shabbily 
treated  by  the  present  national  administration, 
and  they  wonder  how  he  has  managed  to  be  so 
lenient  towards  President  Hayes  after  such  in- 
excusable neglect.  Probably  the  religious 
element  of  the  country  has  had  much  to  do 
with  this."  Concluding,  the  paper  paid  a  tribute 
to  the  charitable  disposition  of  the  Colonel  by 
saying  that  those  who  saw  in  Colonel  Ingersoll's 
activity  in  the  lecture  field  a  retaliation  for  the 
treatment  accorded  him  by  Hayes,  were,  in  its 
opinion,  mistaken.  Undoubtedly  they  were,  for 
Colonel  Ingersoll  is  too  big  a  man  to  harbor 
malice  against  little  people  "  who  do  as  they 
must,"  as  he  puts  it ;  and  Hayes  was  one  of 
those,  if  ever  there  was  a  man  subject  to  his 
environments. 

On  the  subject  of  slavery  the  following  from 
the  autobiography  of  Frederick  Douglas  is  in- 
teresting reading  to  all  but  ministers  : 

"  A  dozen  years  ago,  or  more  [1868  or  earlier], 
on  one  of  the  frostiest  and  coldest  nights  I  ever 
experienced,  I  delivered  a  lecture  in  the  town 
of  Elmwood,  Illinois,  twenty  miles  distant  from 
Peoria.  It  was  one  of  those  bleak  and  flinty 
nights  when  prairie  winds  pierce  like  needles, 
and  a  step  on  the  snow  sounds  like  a  file  on  the 
ieeth  of  a  saw.  My  next  appointment  after 
Elmwood  was  on  Monday  night,  and  in  order 


38  THE   DOUGLAS   TESTIMONY. 

to  reach  it  in  time  it  was  necessary  to  go  to 
Peoria  the  night  previous,  so  as  to  take  au 
early  morning  train,  and  I  could  only  accom- 
plish this  by  leaving  Elmwood  after  my  lecture 
at  midnight,  for  there  was  no  Sunday  train.  So 
a  little  before  the  hour  at  which  my  train  was 
expected  at  Elmwood  I  started  for  the  station 
with  my  friend  Mr.  Brown,  the  gentleman  who 
had  kindly  entertained  me  during  my  stay.  On 
the  way  I  said  to  him:  'I  am  going  to  Peoria 
with  something  like  a  real  dread  of  the  place. 
I  expect  to  be  compelled  to  walk  the  streets  of 
that  city  all  night  to  keep  from  freezing.'  I  told 
told  him  '  tliat  the  last  time  I  was  there  I  could 
obtain  no  shelter  at  any  hotel  and  that  I  feared 
I  should  meet  a  similar  exclusion  to-night.' 
Mr.  Brown  was  visibly  affected  by  the 
statement,  and  for  some  time  was  silent. 
At  last,  as  if  suddenly  discovering  a  way 
out  of  a  painful  situation,  he  said :  *  I  know 
a  man  in  Peoria,  should  the  hotels  be  closed 
against  you  there,  who  would  gladly  open 
his  doors  to  you — a  man  who  will  receive  you 
at  any  hour  of  the  night,  and  in  any  weather — 
and  that  man  is  Kobert  G.  IngersolL'  '  Why,' 
said  I,  'it  would  not  do  to  disturb  a  family  at 
such  a  time  as  I  shall  arrive  there,  on  a  night 
so  cold  as  this.'  'No  matter  about  the  hour,' 
he  said,  'neither  he  nor  his  family  would  be 
happy  if  they  thought  you  would  be  shelterless 
on  such  a  night.  I  know  Mr.  Ingersoll,  and 
that  he  will  be  glad  to  welcome  you  at  midnight 
or  at  cock-crow.'  I  became  much  interested  by 
his  description  of  Mr.  Ingersoll.  Fortunately 
I  had  no  occasion  for  disturbing  him  or  his 
family.  I  found  quarters  at  the  best  hotel  in 
the  city  for  the  night.  In  the  morning  I  re- 
solved to  know  more  of  this  now  famous  and 
noted  '  Infidel !'    I  gave  him  an  early  call,  for  I 


HIS   RECEPTION.  39 

was  not  so  abundant  iu  cash  as  to  refuse  hospi- 
tality in  a  strange  city  when  on  a  mission  of 
goodwill  to  men.  The  experiment  worked  ad- 
mirably. Mr,  Ingersoll  was  at  home,  and  if  I  have 
ever  met  a  man  with  real  living  human  sunshine 
in  his  face,  and  honest,  manly  kindness  in  his 
voice,  I  met  one  who  possessed  these  qualities 
that  morning.  I  received  a  welcome  from  Mr. 
Ingersoll  and  his  family  which  would  have  been 
a  cordial  to  the  bruised  heart  of  any  proscribed 
and  storm-beaten  stranger,  and  one  which  I  can 
never  forget  or  fail  to  appreciate.  Perhaps 
there  were  Christian  ministers  and  Christian 
families  in  Peoria  at  that  time  by  whom  I  might 
have  been  received  in  the  same  gracious  man- 
ner. In  charity  I  am  bound  to  say  there  proba- 
bly were  such  ministers  and  such  families,  but 
I  am  equally  bound  to  say  that  in  my  former 
visits  to  this  place  I  had  failed  to  find  them. 
Incidents  of  this  character  have  greatly  tended 
to  liberalize  my  views  as  to  the  value  of  creeds 
in  estimating  the  character  of  men.  They  have 
brought  me  to  the  conclusion  that  genuine 
goodness  is  the  same,  whether  found  inside  or 
outside  the  church,  and  that  to  be  an  '  Infidel ' 
no  more  proves  a  man  to  be  selfish,  mean,  and 
wicked  than  to  be  evangelical  proves  him  to  be 
honest,  just,  and  humane." 

During  the  campaign  of  Hayes,  Colonel  In- 
gersoll, who  was  stumping  for  him,  made  a 
speech  in  Peoria  in  his  behalf.  To  show  what 
his  neighbors  thought  of  him  at  that  time,  long 
after  these  charges  were  made,  we  quote  the 
following  dispatch  to  the  Chicago  Tribune: 
"  Peoria  turned  out  en  masse  to-night  to  extend 
to  her  gifted  Ingersoll  a  cordial,  hearty  welcome 


40  IN  PEORIA,   ILL. 

home.  The  hall  was  filled  at  an  early  hour  with 
not  less  than  four  thousand  enthusiastic  people, 
while  thousands  were  unable  to  obtain  admis- 
sion and  stood  in  the  streets  adjacent  to  the 
building  vainly  endeavoring  to  catch  the  speak- 
er's words.  At  eight  o'clock  Colonel  Ingersoll 
and  a  large  number  of  leading  citizens  entered 
the  building  and  mounted  the  platform.  As 
soon  as  the  crowd  caught  a  glimpse  of  Bob's 
well-known  form  such  a  shout  went  up  from 
that  building  as  made  the  rafters  ring.  The 
Colonel's  appearance  in  front  was  another  signal 
for  deafening  applause,  and  it  was  at  least  five 
minutes  before  he  could  proceed.  He  spoke 
for  an  hour  and  a  half  and  was  listened  to  with 
the  closest  attention,  closing  amid  tremendous 
applause.  He  held  an  impromptu  reception  on 
the  stage  immediately  after  his  speech,  and 
hundreds  paid  their  respects  to  him." 

Is  such  a  reception  as  that  from  one's  neigh- 
bors evidence  that  the  recipient  is  a  reckless 
and  dissolute  character  ?  Do  people  turn  out 
like  that  to  listen  to  a  "barroom  loafer  ?  " 

COLONEL  INGERSOLL  IN  PEORIA,  ILL. 

Among  other  charges  that  the  clergy  are 
making  against  Mr.  Ingersoll  are  those  first 
made  by  the  infamous  nameless  scoundrel  we 
have  mentioned,  to  the  effect  that  when  in 
Peoria  the  great  Agnostic  associated  with  dis- 
reputable people,  and  that  his  credit  was  as  bad 
as  his  character.  In  1881,  when  these  accusations 


MAYOR  Warner's  testimony.  41 

were  first  made,  an  acquaintance  of  Colonel 
Ingersoll's  wrote  to  the  mayor  of  Peoria,  as 
being  an  old  citizen  and  leading  man  of  the 
city — one  who  knew  the  Colonel  well,  and  was 
in  a  position  to  know  the  truth.  The  mayor 
replied  as  follows  : 

"  Peoria,  III.,  Nov.  28,  1881.' 
"W.  H.  Lamaster,  Noblesville,  111., — Dear  Sir: 
Tours  of   the   23d    instant  is  at   hand,    and   I 

hasten  to  reply.  I  know  nothing  of (naming 

the  nameless  scoundrel)  or  his  pamphlet.  I  am 
not  acquainted  with  him,  and  have  never  had 
the  pleasure  of  seeing  or  reading  that  produc- 
tion. I  judge,  however,  from  reading  your 
letter  that  he  charges  in  his  article  given  to  the 
public  many  unsavory  things  against  Colonel 
Ingersoll,  and,  without  repeating  them  in  this 
reply,  I  will  endeavor  to  give  a  frank,  candid, 
and  truthful  statement  as  to  the  estimation  in 
which  the  Colonel  has  been  held  for  many  years 
in  this  city,  and  the  opinions  of  the  public  in 
Peoria  in  regard  to  him  at  the  present  time; 
also  as  to  whether  Colonel  Ingersoll  did  not  for 
years  in  this  city  lead  a  dissolute  life,  and 
associate  at  improper  places  with  the  low  and 
abandoned. 

"Whether  Colonel  Ingersoll,  when  a  boy,  was 
a  good  boy  or  a  bad  one,  I  cannot  say.  I  did 
not  know  him  when  a  boy,  but  suppose  he  was 
like  other  high-spirited  boys,  full  of  mischief, 
and  violated  his  mother's  rules  as  well  as  a  few 
of  the  Ten  Commandments? 

"  For  twenty-five  years,  or  half  his  life-time, 
I  have  known  him  thoroughly,  and  duriug  that 
time  I  have  found  him  an  honest,  truthful  man. 
His  associates  during  these  years  were  mer- 
chants,   railroad-officials,    and    senators,   gov- 


42  MAYOR  Warner's  testimony. 

ernors,  representatives  in  the  legislature,  active 
business  men,  and  in  fact  ambitious  aspirants 
for  the  presidency  of  the  United  States.  He 
was  looked  upon  by  all,  without  respect  of  sta- 
tion, class,  or  creed,  as  nature's  nobleman, 
blessed  and  esteemed  by  the  people  in  general, 
and  cursed  or  traduced  by  none,  except  those 
who  did  not  like  his  politics  (and  I  am  one  who 
disliked  his  sentiments  in  that  respect),  and 
those  who  did  not  like  his  views  on  religion. 
Not  being  a  theologian,  or  one  who  claims  it  to 
be  my  duty  to  damn  those  I  have  a  mind  to, 
and  save  those  I  am  inclined  to,  I  never  joined 
issue,  as  the  lawyers  say,  with  Colonel  Ingersoll 
on  this  subject. 

"During  his  twenty-five  years  of  life  in  this 
city  as  a  neighbor  I  can  truthfully  say  that  no 
citizen  was  more  esteemed,  none  whose  views 
were  more  sought  for,  and  none  who  received, 
whenever  he  addressed  our  people,  such  tokens 
of  public  approval. 

"  During  that  time  Colonel  Ingersoll  found 
a  warm  place  in  the  hearts  of  our  people  for 
his  broad-gauged  charity.  The  hand  of  want 
was  never  extended  to  him  in  vain.  The  de- 
serving always  found  him  a  cheerful  giver,  and 
an  earnest,  eloquent  advocate. 

"He  made  money  fast  and  spent  liberally. 
In  a  word,  he  paid  his  debts  ;  his  credit  was  in 
a  sense  unlimited  ;  his  note  was  accepted  as 
cash,  and  his  check  was  never  dishonored  that 
I  have  ever  heard  of. 

"It  may  be  that  Colonel  Ingersoll  has  not 
the  grace  of  God,  It  may  be  that  without  that 
grace  a  man  must  necessarily  be  a  bad  man,  but 
if  a  man  may  be  a  good  man  without  that  grace, 
then  I  hesitate  not  to  say  that  Colonel  Ingersoll 
is  a  good  man — at  least  as  good  a  man  as  his 
critics. 


THE  PEESS.  43 

"Colonel  Ingersoll  has  never  spoken  in  this 
city  during  the  last  twenty-five  years  without 
disappointing  hundreds  who  desired  to  hear 
him  on  account  of  tlie  want  of  space  in  the 
building  he  spoke  in,  even  when  he  lectured  for 
charity  at  a  dollar  a  ticket.  The  religious  views 
of  the  Colonel  I  care  nothing  about ;  his  poli- 
tics I  dislike.  But  the  man  himself  I  admire, 
honor,  and  esteem ;  and  such  I  believe  to  be 
the  sentiments  of  nine-tenths  of  the  people  of 
his  old  home,  Peoria.  Our  great  regret  is  that 
he  has  left  us. 

"Hoping  the  above  may  prove  satisfactory,  I 
am  respectfully,  &c.,    John  Warner,  Mayor." 

Eight  years  afterwards  the  same  story  was 
again  started  by  the  ministers.  This  time  it 
reached  Canada.  The  following  from  the  Daily 
Transcript,  of  Peoria,  111.,  of  July  26,  1889,  ex- 
plains the  matter  : 

"Everybody  who  remained  in  Peoria  any 
great  length  of  time  knew  Bob  Ingersoll  when 
he  flourished  and  bloomed  in  this  city.  And  let 
it  be  added  right  here,  that  there  are  few  who 
knew  the  great  man  that  did  not  love  him.  A 
few  days  ago  Mayor  Warner  received  a  letter 
from  Prince  Edward's  Island  in  reference  to 
Colonel  Ingersoll.  By  this  letter  it  will  be  seen 
that  some  one  has  been  slandering  the  great 
and  good  Bob,  and  the  citizens  of  Peoria  are 
ready  to  rise  almost  en  masse  and  mob  the 
aforesaid  slanderer  in  case  he  shows  himself 
within  the  corporate  limits  of  Peoria.  Mayor 
Warner  answered  the  letter  yesterday,  and  he 
took  particular  pains  to  impress  upon  the  mind 
of  his  questioner  that  Colonel  Bob  was  a  saint 
and  nothing  else.    Here  is  the  Mayor's  answer : 


44    HIS  HOLD  ON  THE  PEOPLE  OF  PEOEIA. 

'John  McKenzie,  Esq.,  Prince  Edwards  Island 
— Dear  Sir :  You  ask  me  to  state  what  the 
standing  and  character  of  Col.  R.  G.  Ingersoll 
was  in  this  city  during  the  many  years  of  his 
residence  here.  Let  me  say  briefly  that  the 
gentleman  referred  to  was  one  of  our  most  be- 
loved and  esteemed  citizens,  in  his  social,  pro- 
fessional, and  general  bearing.  While  differing 
from  myself  and  many  others  in  politics,  and 
having  independent  views  on  religion,  which  he 
fearlessly  expressed,  he  had  the  respect  and 
confidence  of  all  those  who  differed  from  him 
on  that  line,  for  the  reason  that  he  respected 
the  opinions  of  others  and  aimed  to  give  no 
offense  in  the  advocacy  of  his  own  views.  Mr. 
Ingersoll  was  noted  for  his  devotion  to  his 
family,  his  liberal-hearted  charity  to  those  in 
need,  and  his  general  nobility  of  character.  His 
reputation  was  that  of  a  sober,  truthful,  and 
honorable  citizen,  charitable  towards  all,  and  a 
true  friend  to  the  deserving. 

"'WePeorians  hold  his  name  and  fame  as 
things  to  be  cherished,  and  among  us  no  slan- 
derer could  attack  him  without  being  rebuked 
and  silenced. 

"  'Had  Mr.  Ingersoll  remained  with  us  he 
could  have  long  since  had  a  seat  in  the  United 
States  Senate,  in  my  judgment,  for  he  is  worthy 
by  character  and  fitness  to  fill  even  a  more 
exalted  post.  It  is  unfortunate  for  mankind 
that  the  world  has  not  more  men  like  Colonel 
Ingersoll.  I  consider  his  life  a  blessing  and  a 
sunshine  upon  the  highway  of  life.  Bespect- 
fully  yours,  John  Wakner.'  " 

That  ought  to  settle  that  question  forever, 
unless  the  ministers  are  prepared  to  set  the 
Mayor  of  Peoria  down  as  a  liar. 


REGRET  AT   HIS   DEPARTUR   .  45 

When  Colonel  IngersoU  left  Peoria  to  live  in 
Washington,  in  1877,  the  Peoria  Transcript 
said  editorially  : 

"  We  deeply  regret  to  announce  that  Coh  R. 
G.  IngersoU  and  family  have  probably  finally 
abandoned  Peoria  as  a  place  of  residence. 

"In  common  with  the  entire  mass  of  our 
citizens  we  shall  deeply  miss  the  Colonel  and 
his  family  from  among  us,  and  in  common  with 
that  same  mass  we  wish  them  abundant  pros- 
perity and  unalloyed  happiness  in  their  new 
home.  As  a  citizen  and  neighbor  Colonel  In- 
gersoU had  won  the  hearts  of  everyone,  and 
whatever  may  have  been  said  about  either  his 
politics  or  his  religion,  or  rather,  if  you  will, 
his  irreligion,  he  had  not  a  single  enemy  among 
us.  Democrats  as  well  as  Republicans,  church- 
members  as  well  as  non-churchmen,  all  liked 
Bob.  There  was  no  man's  hand  they  would 
shake  any  heartier  than  his ;  no  man  they  liked 
to  see  prosper  in  life  better  than  to  see  him, 
and  no  man  they  would  go  farther  to  hear  than 
they  would  to  hear  him.  We  do  not  believe 
there  was  ever  another  man  in  Peoria  whom 
Peorians  were  lialf  so  proud  of,  and  not  one 
who  could  rally  as  many  around  him  on  any 
project  he  might  espouse,  as  Bob.  Generally, 
our  people  have  been  rather  jealous  than  other- 
wise of  each  other,  and  if  any  one  man's  Lead 
happens  to  rise  above  the  mass  there  is 
always  somebody  ready  to  hit  it.  It  has  not 
been  so  with  IngersoU.  Everybody  is  agreed 
that  the  Colonel  could  have  their  good  wishes 
in  everything  except  his  peculiar  religious 
views.  In  politics,  the  Colonel  would  be  pretty 
sure  to  carry  about  as  many  Democrats  in 
Peoria  as  his  opponent  would  be  able  to  v/ith- 
hold  to  himself." 


46  ingeesoll's  home  life. 

Would  the  press  of  a  town  say  that  of  a  reck- 
less and  dissolute  man  who  was  about  to  leave 
it?  Think  the  ministers  who  lie  about  the 
Colonel  could  get  the  papers  of  their  town  to 
print  anything  similar  about  them  when  they 
went  away  to  accept  a  "call"  with  a  bigger 
salary  ? 

COLONEL    ingeesoll's    HOME    LIFE. 

To  show  the  positive  side  of  Colonel  Ingersoll's 
home  life  we  take  a  few  paragraphs  from  a  letter 
Harrison  Grey  Fiske  published  in  the  Star  of 
this  city  a  few  years  ago.  Mr.  Fiske  is  a  friend 
of  the  Colonel's,  and  knew  what  he  was  talking 
about.     Mr.  Fiske  said : 

"'I  believe  in  the  fireside.  I  believe  in  the 
democracy  of  home.  I  believe  in  the  republi- 
canism of  the  family,  I  believe  in  liberty, 
equality,  and  love.'  This  is  the  creed  of  domes- 
ticity that  Robert  Ingersoll  proclaims  in  one  of 
his  discourses,  and  this  is  the  creed  he  adheres 
to  in  his  private  life.  *  *  '  If  you  would 
form  a  true  estimate  of  the  man  the  world  calls 
great,  seek  him  in  his  home,  with  his  family 
about  him,  and  where  his  pictures  and  his  books 
and  belongings  betoken  his  temper  and  his 
tastes.  Singular  as  it  may  appear,  no  hoofs 
clatter  in  the  marble  halls  of  the  Ingersoll 
dwelling.  The  man  who  pointed  out  the  mis- 
takes of  Moses,  who  disbelieves  in  the  Bible 
and  divine  origin  of  Christ,  who  denies  the  ex- 
istence of  any  supernatural  agency  whatsoever, 
whose  voice  has  been  the  trumpet  of  Free- 
thought — this  man  enjoys  domestic  relations  of 
rare  loveliness  and  happiness.     *    *    *    Mr.  In- 


ingersoll's  home  life.  4:7 

gersoU's  demeanor  to  his  family  and  friends  is 
in  keeping  with  the  ideas  that  have  character- 
ized his  utterances  on  the  subject  of  man's  social 
duties.  There  is  no  reserve,  no  self-conscious- 
ness, no  ceremony.  Tou  are  put  at  ease  at  once 
by  the  warm  and  hearty  clasp  of  the  hand,  the 
directness  and  honesty  of  your  host's  speech, 
and  the  total  absence  of  insincerity  and  frip- 
pery, small  talk  and  gossip,  that  constitute  so 
much  of  drawing  room  conversation.  There 
never  is  a  loss  for  topics  in  this  house,  where 
books,  paintings,  plays,  science,  and  public  ques- 
tions are  brightly  and  intelligently  discussed. 

•  •  •  Simplicity  and  honesty  are  the  ingredi- 
ents of  the  welcome  accorded  to  his  friends. 
The  favorite  and  oft-recurring  phrase  in  his 
lectures,  '  Let's  be  honest,'  would  serve  very 
appropriately  for  the  motto  of  this  home.  Mrs. 
Ingersoll  is  a  tall,  fine  looking  woman,  who  en- 
tertains charmingly  and  converses  with  fluency 
and  good  sense  on  all  manner  of  topics.  Mrs. 
Ingersoll's  sister  is  the  wife  of  Clinton  P. 
Farrell,  who  is  the  publisher  of  Colonel  Inger- 
soll's works.  They  and  their  pretty  little 
daughter  form  a  part  of  the  household.  Mr. 
Farrell  is  Mr.  Ingersoll'sinseparable  companion. 

•  •  •  In  money  matters  Mr.  Ingersoll  has  for 
years  exemplified  some  characteristic  ideas 
that  he  originated  early  in  life.  '  Do  you 
know?*  he  says,  'that  I  have  known  men  who 
would  trust  their  wives  with  their  hearts  and 
their  honor,  but  not  with  their  pocket-book — 
not  with  a  dollar  ?  When  I  see  a  man  of  that 
kind  I  always  thinks  he  knows  which  of  these 
articles  is  the  most  valuable.  Think  of  making 
your  wife  a  beggar.'  There  is  a  cash  drawer  in 
the  Ingersoll  dwelling  to  which  wife  and  daugh- 
ters have  duplicate  keys  and  free  access.  And 
Mrs.  Ingersoll  also  keeps  a  bank  account.     Mr. 


48  EVA  AND   MAUD. 

Ingersoll  goes  to  the  drawer  occasionally  and 
renews  the  supply,  but  no  account  of  expendi- 
tures is  given  to  him,  and  it  is  distinctly  for- 
bidden that  he  shall  be  asked  for  money.  He 
wants  his  wife  and  his  children  to  feel  that  what 
is  his  is  theirs,  and  that  they  can  be  trusted  to 
help  themselves  and  exercise  discretion.  What 
a  contrast  to  the  homes  of  many  rich  men, 
where  wives  approach  their  lords  and  masters 
as  slaves  approach  a  king,  and  tremble  to  frame 
a  request  for  small  sums  of  money  tliat  are  to 
go  for  actual  feminine  necessities  !  There  is  no 
nagging,  contradicting,  or  any  indication  of  the 
petty  and  irritating  friction  here  that  is  often 
felt  in  the  domestic  circle.  'Good  nature,'  re- 
marks Mr.  Ingersoll,  '  is  the  cheapest  commodity 
in  the  world,  and  love  is  the  only  thing  that  will 
pay  ten  per  cent,  to  borrower  and  lender  both. 
Happiness  is  the  legal  tender  of  the  soul.  Joy 
is  wealth.'  The  wealth  of  the  Ingersolls  in  this 
currency  is  beyond  computation." 

Is  that  a  description  of  the  family  of  a  profli- 
gate? How  many  Christian  families  in  the  laud 
would  it  fit? 

In  the  same  article  from  which  the  foregoing 
is  taken  Mr.  Fiske  thus  describes  the  Ingersoll 
girls.     This  was  in  1886  : 

"Mr.  Ingersoll  says:  'Children  have  the 
same  rights  that  we  have,  and  we  ought  to  treat 
them  as  though  they  were  human  beings.'  He 
has  two  daughters,  Eva  and  Maud,  and  they 
have  been  reared  in  conformity  with  this  idea. 
Love  is  the  keynote  in  this  harmonious  family. 
Miss  Eva  Ingersoll,  the  elder,  is  a  tall,  slender, 
spirituelle  girl,  sweet-mannered  and  gentle- 
voiced.    A  pastel  portrait  of  this  young  lady 


MODEL  YOUNG  LADIES.  49 

by  Dora  Wheeler,  recently  liuns;  in  the  gallery 
of  the  Metropolitan  Museum  of  Art,  fails  to  do 
justice  to  lier  sweet  and  soulful  face,  which  be- 
longs to  a  type  that  cannot  be  adequately  trans- 
ferred to  canvas.  Miss  Maud  Ingersoll  is  not 
so  tall  as  her  sister.  She  is  dark-haired,  black- 
eyed,  and  handsome,  while  her  manner  is  de- 
lightfully ingenuous.  Indeed,  neither  has  been 
tainted  with  the  artificiality  that  society  seems 
to  demand  of  its  young  women.  They  are  en- 
tirely unaffected  and  thoroughly  well  informed. 
They  have  read  everything  from  Darwin  and 
Huxley  to  Talmage  and  Sam  Jones.  If  you  un- 
warily enter  into  an  argument,  no  matter  how 
intricate  or  abstruse  the  subject,  you  will  find 
them  armed  to  the  teeth  with  data,  and  highly 
skilled  in  the  weapons  of  rhetoric  and  logic. 
Unless  you  are  similarly  equipped  you  had  best 
retire  as  gracefully  as  possible  before  you  are 
worsted." 

And  that  was  written  of  two  young  ladies 
who  at  the  time  it  was  penned  were  being  slan- 
dered by  all  the  little  preachers  of  the  country 
— on  the  authority  of  a  scoundrelly  mountebank 
— as  girls  who  drank  wine  from  their  father's 
table  "  until  intoxicated  to  such  a  degree  as  to 
require  assistance  in  getting  from  the  room." 
This  very  month  and  week  and  day  the  clergy 
are  revenging  themselves  upon  Colonel  Inger- 
soll by  repeating  these  infamous  falsehoods. 
"What  can  they  think  of  themselves  ?  Every 
man — lay  or  cleric — who  repeats  this  lie  about 
the  daughters  of  Colonel  Ingersoll,  ought  to  be 
horsewhipped — or  at  least  knocked  down. 

Still  further  evidence  is  the  following  from 


50     GALVESTON  NEWS  C0KRE8P0NDEN0E. 

Washington  correspondence  of    the    Galveston 
News,  Feb.  15, 1881 : 

"  Last  night,"  says  the  writer,  "  I  was  the 
guest  at  the  happiest  home  I  ever  saw,  and  met 
the  most  devoted  and  affectionate  family  I  ever 
knew.  I  allude  to  the  home  of  Col.  Robert  G. 
Ingersoll.  Perhaps  it  would  seem  a  violation 
of  delicacy  for  one  to  accept  the  invitation  to 
spend  an  evening  with  a  family  and  their  friends, 
and  then  make  newspaper  mention  of  a  fireside, 
and  I  am  the  last  to  do  so.  Yet,  inasmuch  as 
Colonel  Ingersoll  occupies  the  peculiar  attitude 
which  he  does,  and  has  been  the  subject  of  so 
many  attacks  from  the  clergy,  both  as  to  his 
private  and  public  character,  I  shall,  for  the 
benefit  of  those  who  do  not  personally  know 
this  brilliant  son  of  genius,  one  time  violate  my 
ideas  of  the  rules  of  social  etiquette,  and  men- 
tion the  home  circle  of  Colonel  Ingersoll. 

*'  What  a  domestic  love  and  devotion  would 
exist  in  our  country  if  every  fireside  in  America 
presented  the  family  affection  and  true  happi- 
ness that  is  so  manifest  in  the  home  of  Inger- 
soll !  It  is  truly  an  intellectual  treat  to  visit 
the  home  of  Ingersoll.  His  parlors  contain 
the  choicest  statuary  and  paintings  and  the 
most  refined  works  of  the  great  authors.  Last 
evening  a  number  of  friends  were  invited  to 
spend  the  evening  with  him  and  his  family. 
Among  them  were  several  senators  and  repre- 
sentatives and  their  wives.  No  one  ever  visited 
a  more  hospitable  home.  No  one  ever  saw 
more  genuine  love  and  happiness  between 
father,  mother,  daughters,  and  relatives  than  in 
the  family  circle  of  Colonel  Ingersoll.  Those 
who  admire  a  happy  home,  admire  love  and  de- 
votion  between   members   of  a    family,    could 


HOME  HIS   HEAVEN.  51 

have  seen  the  picture  had  they  been  with  me 
last  evening.  His  conception  of  the  purity, 
loveliness,  and  affection  of  woman,  to  which  he 
so  feelingly  alludes  in  his  lectures,  must  have 
been  gathered  from  his  own  family.  Mrs.  In- 
gersoll  is  the  type  of  a  devoted  wife  and  mother. 
His  two  daughters  are  the  embodiment  of  re- 
finement, modesty,  and  loveliness.  I  never  saw 
two  faces  which  portrayed  more  refinement, 
purity,  and  innocence  than  those  of  the  young 
daughters  of  Colonel  IngersolL  I  now  see  how 
and  why  this  brilliant  scholar  and  gentleman 
forms  such  a  lofty  and  beautiful  estimate  of  the 
purity  and  loveliness  of  woman  and  the  happi- 
and  love  of  home.  In  his  lectures  he  calls  home 
his  heaven.  The  affection  and  devotion  of  the 
daughters  and  wife  for  father  and  husband — > 
the  love  and  sunshine  of  that  home  must  be 
heaven  for  him.  No  poor  and  needy  creature 
ever  called  at  the  door  of  Col.  Bob  Ingersoll  for 
charity  in  vain.  This  is  the  home  of  the  Pagan 
Prince  whom  so  many  abuse  and  censure  for 
his  views  on  religion. 

"  For  the  first  time  in  my  life  as  a  correspon- 
dent I  have  violated  the  rules  of  social  etiquette 
and  made  public  mention  of  a  home  at  which  I 
was  a  guest.  It  was  such  a  picture  of  family 
happiness,  love,  and  affection,  that  I  could  not 
refrain  from  what  I  have  done  in  writing  this." 

We  could  make  a  big  book  of  such  tributes 
as  this,  and  unless  the  correspondents  and 
writers  are  engaged  in  a  gigantic  plot  to  deceive 
the  public,  the  fellow  who  charges  the  Ingersoll 
girls  with  coarse  conduct  is  a  miserable  and 
dastardly  falsifier. 

Another  story  circulated  for  the  past  ten  or 


52      THE  daughters'  alleged  conversion. 

fifteen  years,  and  thousands  of  times  denied, 
but  still  going  the  rounds,  is  that  one  of  Colonel 
lugersoll's  daughters  had  joined  the  Presbyte- 
rian church.  So  circumstantially  has  this  lie 
been  put  that  at  a  Methodist  conference  in 
Worcester,  Mass.,  it  was  stated  that  "  one  of  his 
daughters  has  been  converted  and  joined  the 
church,  and  his  wife  begs  him  not  to  say  any- 
thing against  the  religion  their  child  thinks  so 
much  of."  This  statement  having  been  brought 
to  the  attention  of  Colonel  Ingersoll,  lie  wrote 
as  follows  : 

"New  York,  April  16,  1889. 
"Mrs.  W.  B.  Clark,  Worcester,  Mass.— if?/ 
Dear  Madam :  Tliere  is  no  truth  in  the  report 
that  one  of  my  daughters  has  joined  the  church, 
or  that  my  wife  has  ever  objected  to  my  saying 
anything  against  what  is  known  as  orthodox 
religion.  Neither  of  my  daughters  is  a  mem- 
ber of  any  church.  The  statement  of  the  E-ev. 
J.  O.  Peck  is  without  the  slightest  foundation. 
He  probably  told  Avhat  was  told  him,  supposing 
what  he  said  to  be  true,  but  he  was  entirely 
mistaken.     Yours  always,    B.  G.  Ingersoll." 

In  the  same  speech  the  Rev.  Mr.  Peck  said 
that  the  conversion  of  his  daughter  had  kept 
the  Colonel  silent  for  two  years.  To  another 
friend  who  wrote  him  about  it,  Mr.  Ingersoll 
replied  : 

"  You  need  not  trouble  yourself  to  deny  the 
lies  of  orthodox  ministers  about  me,  but  for 
your  own  information  I  will  say  that  neither  of 
my  two  daughters  has  been  '  converted  or  joined 


BEV.    DR.    peck's   MISTAKE.  53 

the  church,'  or  has  ever  dreamed  of  it.  As  to 
my  '  silence '  against  religion  for  two  years,  the 
Rev.  Dr.  Peck  has  probably  not  seen  the  dis- 
cussions with  Field  and  Gladstone,  and  others 
in  the  North  American  Beview." 

This  story  was  not  original  with  the  Rev. 
Mr.  Peck.  Seven  years  before  it  was  a  good 
rigorous  lie,  and  Peck  but  gave  it  a  push  along. 
Colonel  Ingersoll  wrote  a  denial  of  it,  but  the 
truth  never  caught  up.  The  denial  was  as  fol- 
lows : 

"  Washington,  D.  C,  Jan.  21, 1882. 

"  Mb.  Editor  (of  the  Boston  Investigator) :  A 
paf^graph  has  been  going  the  rounds  of  the 
newspapers  to  the  effect  that  one  of  my  daugh- 
ters is  a  Presbyterian — in  fact,  that  she  has 
become  a  member  of  that  church. 

*'I  have  two  daughters,  and  neither  of  them 
ever  heard  a  Presbyterian  sermon,  ever  was  in 
a  Presbyterian  church,  ever  heard  a  Presby- 
terian prayer,  or  ever  joined  a  Presbyterian 
church;  nor  has  either  of  them  ever  exhibited 
the  slightest,  faintest  Presbyterian  tendency. 

"They  know  that  the  Presbyterian  church 
teaches  the  dogma  of  eternal  pain ;  that  God, 
simply  as  an  exhibition  of  his  power,  damns  the 
best  and  saves  the  worst ;  that  he  sends  infants 
to  perdition  to  increase  his  glory,  and  murderers 
to  heaven  to  show  the  riches  of  his  grace.  They 
know  that  this  church  teaches  that  a  being  of 
infinite  wisdom  and  benevolence  created  count- 
less millions  of  human  beings  knowing  that 
nearly  all  of  them  would  suffer  agony  forever. 
They  know  that  nothing  can  exceed  the  bar- 
baric heartlessness  of  the  Calvinistic  creed. 
Their  knowledge  upon  these  points  may  account 


54  INTERVIEW   WITH   MISS   EVA. 

for  the  fact  that  they  have  never  joined  that 
church.         Yours  truly,        K  G.  Ingersoll." 

Mr.  Ingersoll's  daughters  do  not  like  pub- 
licity, but  after  the  statement  made  by  the  Rev. 
Mr.  Peck,  Miss  Eva  Ingersoll  talked  to  a  re- 
porter for  the  World,  and  we  quote  her  words 
in  order  that  the  Colonel's  friends  may  get 
some  further  idea  what  the  young  ladies  are 
like.  They  were  printed  in  the  World  of  April 
28,  1889  ; 

"Yes,  Miss  Ingersoll  is  in,"  and  the  butler 
led  the  way  to  the  drawing-room  in  the  great 
iconoclast's  stately  home.  The  room,  with  its 
booklined  walls,  bits  of  colored  porcelain  and 
carved  silver — artists'  dreams  in  marble  and  on 
canvas — was  beautiful  enough,  but  the  slim, 
sweet,  timid  creature,  in  her  silver-gray  dress, 
was  radiant.  She  might  have  been  taken  for  a 
Quaker  maiden,  for  a  member  of  some  new 
order  of  nuns,  but  for  the  daughter  of  Col. 
Bobert  G.  Ingersoll — that  alleged  monster, 
commonly  denounced  from  every  pulpit,  and  by 
every  preacher  in  every  tongue  and  creed — 
never  ! 

"  But  there  sat  Miss  Eva  Ingersoll  in  a  little 
slipper  chair,  beaming  in  the  loveliness  of  her 
youth  and  beauty,  and  this  is  what  she  had  to 
say  regarding  the  Eev.  Dr.  Peck's  address  be- 
fore the  General  Conference  of  the  Southern 
New  England  Methodist  societies: 

"  'That  is  about  the  fifth  time  I  have  joined 
the  church,  in  print,  and  it  is  so  ridiculous  be- 
cause neither  my  sister  nor  myself  has  ever 
attended  service.  Once  Mr.  Carnegie  invited 
us  to  hear  Henry  Ward  Beecher.     It  was  in  the 


INTERVIEW  WITH   MISS  EVA.  55 

evening,  and  the  address  he  delivered  was  the 
only  one  we  liave  ever  heard.  Another  time  we 
went  to  Dr.  Collyer's  church  to  attend  a  friend's 
wedding,  and  that  is  the  extent  of  our  knowl- 
edge of  churches.' 

" '  But  why  haven't  you  gone  out  of  curiosity  ? ' 

"'"Well,  I  don't  know.  I  never  had  any  de- 
sire, somehow.  I  have  been  told  that  the  music 
might  be  entertaining,  but  I  am  sure  it  can't 
compare  with  operatic  music,  and  we  go  to  some 
opera  or  concert  three  or  four  nights  in  a  week. 
I  have  read  a  great  many  sermons,  but  never 
was  sufficiently  pleased  or  interested  to  care  to 
hear  one.  Our  parents  are  not  responsible  for 
our  attitude.  Indeed,  sister  and  I  are  more 
radical  than  they.  Father  has  always  told  us 
that  he  wanted  us  to  realize  the  greatest  happi- 
ness in  life,  and  advised  us  to  examine  for  our- 
selves, and  to  act  in  accordance  with  our  con- 
victions. We  have  had  books  of  all  kinds  and 
all  sorts,  and  friends  to  exchange  ideas  with. 
Father  has  read  with  us,  and  together  we  have 
looked  up  references,  localities,  and  proofs,  but 
the  more  we  know  about  Christianity  the  less 
admiration  we  have  for  it. 

"  'Did  I  ever  pray?  Never.  We  were  never 
taught  prayers  as  children,  but  when  old  enough 
to  reason  mother  selected  the  prayers  that  are 
considered  most  beautiful  and  touching,  and 
told  us,  as  she  always  did  in  making  selections 
of  poetry  and  prose,  to  read  them  carefully  and 
learn  the  ones  that  pleased  us.  None  pleased 
me  especially,  and  I  didn't  commit  any  of  them 
to  memory.  I  could  not  see  the  wisdom  of 
praying  for  or  against  things  I  knew  were  be- 
yond human  influence. 

"  'And  I  never  prized  a  Bible  as  most  girls 
do,  not  even  in  silver  or  ivory  covers.  I  don't 
like  the  book,  because  there  are  too  many  im- 


56  TESTIMONY   OF  THE   DAUGHTERS. 

probable  aiul  impossible  thinj^s  in  it,  and  worse 
than  tliat,  it  abounds  in  cruelties. 

"  '  We  doubtless  seem  horrible  people  to  you 
believers,  but  we  are  very  Lappy  together,  and 
if  my  parents  are  as  odious  as  some  people 
fancy  them,  they  must  still  have  very  many  re- 
deeming qualities  of  mind  and  heart,  because  it 
is  a  tax  for  them  to  make  new  friends,  the  old 
ones  are  so  numerous,  and  so  exacting  in  their 
affections.  In  all  my  life  I  have  never  heard  a 
cross  word  spoken  by  my  parents,  either  to  one 
or  the  other,  or  to  my  sister  or  myself.'  " 

And  yet,  in  spite  of  all  this,  these  stories  go 
right  along,  finding  plenty  of  preachers  stupid 
and  malicious  enough  to  repeat  and  support 
them.  This  very  year  a  Boston  clergyman 
related  them  from  his  pulpit,  and  retracted  only 
after  he  had  been  shown  the  following  letters, 
published  in  the  Boston  Investigator  of  March 
9,1895: 

"Dear  Mr.  Mendum  :  I  agree  most  heartily 
with  my  father  in  his  religious  belief,  and  think 
he  is  doing  the  greatest  possible  good.  Of 
course  I  have  never  for  a  moment  thought  of 
joining  a  church.     Sincerely  yours, 

'*  Maud  E.  Ingersoll." 

"  My  Dear  Mr.  Mendum  :  I  wish  to  deny  most 
emphatically  the  statement  that  I  have  joined  a 
church. 

"My  sister  and  I,  who  are  the  only  children 
of  Robert  G.  Inn;ersoll,  never  for  one  moment 
disagreed  with  him  in  any  way.  My  mother,  as 
you  know,  has  always  been  in  perfect   accord 


HIS  ALLEGED   SON.  57 

•^rith  my  father.      "We  all  feel  that  he  is  doing 
the  greatest  and  noblest  work  of  this  world. 
"  Believe  me  most  sincerely  yours, 

"  Eva  E.  Ingersoll  Brown." 

"  Lacrosse,  Wis.,  Jan.  14,  1895. 

"  Ernest  Mendum,  Esq. — My  Dear  Friend :  I 
have  two  daughters,  and  neither  of  them  ever 
joined  any  church.  On  the  subject  of  religion 
both  of  them  agree  with  me,  or  I  with  them. 

"  My  wife  and  I  are  of  the  same  opinion  as  to 
the  supernatural.  We  both  believe  in  the 
natural,  and  in  what  I  have  done  against  what 
is  called  religion  I  have  always  had  her  sup- 
port and  sympathy.  So  you  may  say  from  me 
that  the  reverend  gentleman  was  entirely  mis- 
taken, and  in  what  he  said  ^  there  is  not  the 
slightest  truth. 

"  Yours  always,  K  G.  Ingersoll." 

Surely  the  "  conversion  "  story  ought  now  to 
be  disposed  of,  but  we  expect  to  see  it  come  up 
bright  and  smiling  every  year  or  two,  and  go  the 
rounds  of  the  pulpit  and  press. 

Another  myth,  less  extensively  circulated, 
but  still  met  with  on  the  back  streets  of  civiliza- 
tion, is  to  the  effect  that  Colonel  Ingersoll's 
son,  having  been  raised  in  the  atmosphere  of 
Infidelity,  had  become  insane  and  died  in  an 
asylum.  The  fact  that  the  Colonel  never  had  a 
son  made  no  difference  to  the  religious  gentle- 
man who  first  put  this  story  into  print,  and  will 
make  no  difference  to  the  clerics  who  repeat  it. 

Still  another  story  about  Colonel  Ingersoll's 
family,  vouched  for  by  no  less  a  blatherskite 
than  Joseph  Cook,  is  to  the  effect  that  Colonel 


58  THE  FATHER  OP   INGERSOLL. 

Ingersoll's  hatred  of  orthodoxy  is  caused  by  the 
harshness  of  his  father's  character.  The  fol- 
lowing from  the  Colonel  was  written  to  A  friend 
who  had  approached  him  on  the  subject : 

**  The  story  that  the  unkindness  of  my  father 
drove  me  into  Infidelity  is  simply  an  orthodox 
lie.  The  bigots,  unable  to  meet  my  arguments, 
are  endeavoring  to  dig  open  the  grave  and 
calumniate  the  dead.  This  they  are  willing  to 
do  in  defense  of  their  infamous  dogmas.  I  was 
not  driven  by  the  unkindness  of  my  father  to 
hate  a  God  who  would  order,  according  to  the 
Old  Testament,  the  sweet  bodies  of  women  to 
be  ripped  open  with  the  sword.  My  father  was 
a  kind  and  loving  man.  He  loved  his  children 
tenderly  and  intensely.  There  was  no  sacrifice 
he  would  not  and  did  not  gladly  make  for  them. 
He  had  one  misfortune,  and  that  was  his  re- 
ligion. He  believed  the  Bible,  and  in  the 
shadow  of  that  frightful  book  he  passed  his 
life.  He  believed  in  the  truth  of  its  horrors, 
and  for  years,  thinking  of  the  fate  of  the  human 
race,  his  eyes  were  filled  with  tears. 

"  Seeing  the  effect  upon  him — seeing  that 
religion  simply  made  men  unhappy,  I  learned  to 
hate  what  is  generally  known  as  orthodox  re- 
ligion. I  abhor  the  outrageous  cruelties  and 
horrors  described  in  the  Old  Testament,  perpe- 
trated, as  it  alleges,  by  the  command  of  God.  I 
abhor  the  threatenings  in  the  New  Testament. 
I  utterly  despise  the  doctrines  of  total  depravity 
and  eternal  punishment.  I  hate  any  book  that 
teaches  these  doctrines  ;  I  hate  any  God  who 
writes  such  a  book  ;  I  hate  these  things  because 
I  have  a  brain  and  heart.  J  hate  them  because 
they  are  infamously,  and  heartlessly,  and  brain- 
lessly  false,  cowardly,  and  infamous.     My  father 


A  MOST   INFAMOUS   LIE.  69 

was  infinitely  better  than  the  God  he  worshiped, 
infinitely  better  than  the  reli^rion  he  preached. 
And  these  stories  about  his  unkindness  are  ma- 
liciously untrue.  The  bit^ots  of  to-day  are 
willing  to  slander  him  in  order  to  get  even  with 
me.  Can  anything  exceed  the  arrogance  of 
humility  and  the  malice  of  universal  forgive- 
ness?       Tours  truly,  E.  G.  Ingersoll." 

It  may  be  noticed  that  the  foregoing  letter  is 
pretty  warm  in  its  denunciation  of  the  Chris- 
tian religion,  but  that  is  caused  by  the  villainy 
of  the  ministers  who  started  the  story.  Nothing 
makes  Mr.  Ingersoll  more  indignant  than  these 
lies  about  his  family.  Were  he  not  the  big- 
brained,  broad-minded,  kind-hearted  man  that 
he  is — with  an  almost  infinite  compassion  for 
little  people  who  "  do  as  they  must;"  that  is, 
are  governed  by  their  environment — probably 
somebody  would  have  been  hurt  ere  this. 

And  yet  the  list  of  miserable  slanders  of  In- 
gersoll as  related  to  his  family  is  not  completed. 
Another  grave  was  visited  for  earth  to  throw  at 
him.  On  the  word  of  the  nameless  and  shame- 
less scoundrel  who  invented  a  large  portion  of 
these  libelous  lies,  it  was  said,  back  in  1881, 
that  Ingersoll  had  suffered  a  sister  to  die  in 
poverty  and  neglect  in  Laporte,  Ind.  The 
lady's  name  was  Black.  The  following  com- 
plete refutation  of  the  charge,  by  "W.  H.  Lewis, 
of  Laporte,  Ind.,  a  gentleman  knowing  the  cir- 
cumstances, was  published  in  the  Saturday 
Review : 


60  charity  toward  a  sister. 

"Laporte,  Ind.,  Nov.  20. 

*'  To  the  Editor  op  the  Saturday  Revieio:  In 
youi*  paper  of  November  5th  appears  an  article 
that  is  so  unjust  that  I  have  taken  the  trouble 
to  refute  it.  The  author  of  this  infamous  lie, 
who  has  neither  the  brains  nor  the  ability  to 
answer  Colonel  Ingersoll,  has  thought  to  gain 
favor  by  pursuing  the  dead  into  the  grave. 

"In  speaking  of  the  Colonel's  sister,  Mrs. 
Black,  who  died  in  Laporte,  Ind.,  where  she 
had  lived  for  more  than  ten  years,  and  where 
her  husband  still  lives,  the  writer  of  the  article 
says  :  '  She  died  in  poverty  and  neglect.  There 
was  not  even  charity  to  her.  Benevolence  did 
not  reach  her.'     *     *     * 

"Below  I  give  the  statement  with  names  of 
some  of  the  best  people  of  Laporte.  There  are 
many  people  here  familiar  with  the  facts,  but 
these  are  enough,  and  further  comment  is  un- 
necessary. 

"  Mort.  Nye,  attorney-at-law  and  ex-mayor  of 
Laporte,  said  :  '  I  knew  Mrs.  Black  well  for  ten 
years,  transacted  all  her  legal  business,  and  was 
knowing  to  the  fact  that  she  received  from  her 
brother,  Mr.  Ingersoll,  fifty  dollars  a  month.  I 
did  not  see  every  draft  in  all  that  time,  but 
did  see  most  of  them.' 

"  I  next  showed  the  article  to  Jacob  Wile,  a 
banker,  who  said  :  '  I  do  not  agree  with  Mr. 
Ingersoll  in  his  radical  opinions,  but  the  man 
who  wrote  that  article  tells  an  infamous  lie,  for 
there  never  was  a  month  passed  while  Mrs. 
Black  lived  in  this  place  that  I  did  not  pay  to 
her,  at  the  request  of  Mr.  Ingersoll,  fifty  dollars. 
At  three  different  times  I  knew  of  him  sending 
her  money  in  addition  to  these  monthly  pay- 
ments— at  one  time  one  hundred  dollars,  at 
another  one  hundred  and  fifty  ;  and  still  another 
time,  when    they  bought  property  here,   two 


OPENHANDED   GENEROSITY.  61 

iiiindred  and  fifty  dollars.  I  saw  many  letters 
from  him  to  her,  and  they  were  the  most  beau- 
tiful and  affectionate  letters  I  ever  read  in  my 
life.  And  no  man  could  be  bad  and  write  such 
letters  and  treat  a  sister  as  he  did.' 

"  I  next  called  on  Mr.  Black,  who  is  a  picture 
of  health,  and  looks  quite  as  able  physically  to 
make  his  way  in  the  world  as  Colonel  IngersoU. 
He  said:  'I  have  not  one  word  to  say  against 
his  treatment  of  my  wife.  He  treated  her  like  a 
kind  brother.' 

"  Ivory  Lord,  undertaker,  said :  *  I  buried  Mrs. 
Black,  and  Mr.  IngersoU  paid  me.  I  know  that 
when  she  was  taken  sick  he  came  here,  and 
there  was  nothing  left  undone  that  could  have 
added  to  her  comfort ;  and  after  she  died  he 
had  her  buried  nicely  and  paid  all  the  ex- 
penses.' 

"In  another  place  he  paid  an  account  of  one 
hundred  dollars  to  Dewitt  Decker  long  after  her 
death.  I  learned  of  many  other  acts  of  kindness 
where  money  was  freely  given,  but  I  will  not 
recite  them  here.  W.  H.  Lewis." 

Thus  another  myth  is  laid.  During  the  last 
part  of  Mrs.  Black's  illness  Mr.  IngersoU  was 
constantly  with  her,  and  in  her  last  moments 
she  said  to  him,  "  I  would  like  to  live,  but  die 
content,  thanks  to  your  philosophy."  Could  a 
sister  pay  a  higher  tribute  to  a  brother? 

Colonel  Ingersoll's  kindness  and  generosity 
are  too  well  known  by  his  friends  to  permit 
charges  of  unkindness  or  neglect  of  one  of  his 
relatives  to  have  any  influence  with  them,  but 
those  who  do  not  know  him  personally  might 
be  swayed  by  such  recitals.  We  once  heard  it 
said  by   a  personal    intimate     of     Ingersoll's 


62  THE  COOPER  FICTION. 

that  he  practically  supported  about  thirty 
people.  An  instance  of  his  goodness  once  came 
under  our  knowledge.  He  was  attending  a  Free- 
thinkers' convention  in  Cleveland,  and  during  his 
absence  from  Washington  a  woman  had  drawn 
a  draft  upon  him  for  $100.  She  was  an  acquaint- 
ance, but  had  no  claim  upon  him  even  as  a 
relative,  depending  only  upon  his  kindness  to 
help  her  out.  Knowing  that  there  was  no  reason 
why  the  Colonel  should  give  her  a  hundred 
dollars,  his  people  in  the  office  had  refused  to 
pay  the  draft.  So  she  wrote  to  the  Colonel 
telling  him  she  was  needy.  The  Colonel  got 
the  letter  while  attending  the  convention  and 
he  just  drew  a  check  and  sent  it  to  her.  The 
circumstance  was  the  more  impressed  upon  the 
mind  of  the  person  who  told  us  this  by  the  re- 
mark the  Colonel  made  as  he  wrote  the  check, 
that  he  didn't  know  whether  or  not  he  had  any 
money  in  that  bank,  but  he  "  guessed  they'd 
cash  it  anyway." 

The  next  family  story  we  encounter  is  that 
which  concerns  a  second  cousin  to  Mr,  Inger- 
soll,  Mrs.  Sarah  B.  Cooper,  of  San  Francisco. 

Mrs.  Cooper  is  a  benevolent  and  good  woman, 
who  has  devoted  most  of  her  time  to  ameliorat- 
ing the  condition  of  children  in  one  way  and 
another,  but  chiefly  through  establishing  kin- 
dergartens. In  this  she  has  been  aided  by  many 
prominent  people.  Mrs.  Leland  Stanford  has 
given  her  a  great  deal  of  money,  perhaps  several 
hundred  thousands  of  dollars,  to  spend  in  this 


THE    COOPER   FICTION.  63 

way.  When  Colonel  Ingersoll  went  to  San 
Francisco  to  lecture  he  met  Mrs.  Cooper. 
Afterward  the  Cooper  family  sent  a  man  to  him 
at  Peoria,  who  wanted  the  best  lawyer  in  the 
country  to  conduct  a  case  at  Washington.  The 
Colonel  took  the  case,  won  it,  got  a  fee  of 
$12,000,  and  promptly  sent  a  check  for  $3,500 
to  Mrs.  Cooper  for  her  kindergarten  work,  or 
anything  else  she  wanted  to  do  with  it.  The 
meeting  in  San  Francisco  and  the  legal  matter 
naturally  put  the  families  on  good  terms,  and 
Colonel  Ingersoll  presented  her  with  one  of  his 
books,  in  which  he  wrote  this  : 

"  I  present  this  to  my  dear  cousin,  Sarah  B. 
Cooper,  with  the  remark  that  if  all  Christians 
were  like  her  this  book  never  would  have  been 
written.  B.  G.  Ingeesoll. 

"  August  7,  1881." 

The  meaning  of  the  inscription  is  plain  enough 
for  even  a  fool  to  see.  Mrs.  Cooper  is  a  benevo- 
lent and  kind  woman,  devoting  her  life  to  doing 
good.  If  all  Christians  did  that  there  would 
be  no  need  for  Colonel  Ingersoll  to  attack  their 
doctrines,  for  it  is  the  doctrines  of  Christianity 
which  have  made  its  devotees  so  crueh  The 
Old  Testament  is  a  record  of  cruelties  com- 
mitted in  this  world  ;  the  New  Testament  is  full 
of  cruelties  for  the  next  world,  the  existence  of 
which  it  teaches.  Against  the  horrible  doctrine 
of  eternal  punishment  Colonel  Ingersoll  has 
waged  relentless  war  because  of  his  innate  good- 
ness  of  heart.     In   the  keenest  language  man 


64  LADY   SOMEKSET's   FALSEHOODS. 

ever  commanded,  he  has  denounced  the  cruelties 
and  persecutions  committed  by  the  church.  If 
he  had  a  creed  it  would  be  :  Liberty,  Love,  and 
Kindness. 

With  these  feelings,  and  knowing  Mrs. 
Cooper's  active  work  of  benevolence  and  her 
real  kindness  of  heart,  what  more  natural  than 
that  he  should  write  this  inscription  in  her 
book  ?  Yet  it  is  from  this  simple  thing  that 
the  following  absurd  yarn  has  been  twisted. 
We  take  it  from  the  pen  of  Lady  Somerset  in  the 
Arena  of  March,  1895.     She  omits  the  name  : 

"When  a  cousin  of  this  same  gifted  man 
[Mrs.  Somerset  had  just  previously  quoted  a 
story  which  we  shall  notice  next],  who  is  a 
woman  of  rare  intellect  and  a  philanthropist, 
told  him  some  years  ago  of  her  Christian  faith, 
which,  though  deep  and  strong,  was  free  from 
Calvinism  and  extreme  doctrinal  views,  he  said, 
while  the  tears  coursed  down  his  cheeks,  'I 
would  give  all  I  have,  cousin,  if  I  could  belieye 
as  you  do,  but  I  cannot.'  " 

Mrs.  Somerset  uttered  that  gem  in  the  interest 
of  the  prenatal  influence  theory,  and  her  refer- 
ence to  "  this  sa'me  gifted  man  "  was  made  after 
telling  as  a  fact  the  following  : 

"It  will  be  of  interest  to  know  the  following 
facts,  which  are  from  the  lips  of  the  man  him- 
self to  a  confidential  friend.  He  said  that  his 
mother,  who  was  most  impressionable,  recoiled 
from  the  Calvinistic  doctrines  taught  by  his 
father,  who  was  a  minister,  and  during  the  pre- 
natal period  of  his  life  his  mother  went  on  a 


HIS  MATERNAL  INHERITANCE.  65 

visit  to  the  home  of  a  relative,  where  she  fouud 
the  writings  of  Voltaire.  She  had  never  read 
Infidel  literature,  but  her  mind  was  naturally 
given  to  doubt.  In  her  present  nervous  state 
the  books  had  a  fascination  for  her  and  she 
read  them  with  intense  interest.  Wlien  the  boy 
was  born  he  had  a  fine  poetic  nature  and  one  to 
which  restraint  was  odious,  and  as  he  developed 
he  was  from  the  first  a  pronouBced  unbeliever 
in  the  divine  revelation." 

The  second  is  of  course  as  absurd  as  the  first, 
and  it  does  not  add  to  Lady  Somerset's  reputa- 
tion for  veracity  that  she  tells  as  the  actual 
truth,  giving  them  the  fullest  credence,  two 
plain  and  absolute  falsehoods.  Colonel  Inger- 
soU's  mother  did  not  "recoil"  from  the  doc- 
trines of  her  husband,  and  she  never  read  a  line 
of  Voltaire.  Voltaire's  works  were  practically 
unobtainable  in  those  days  in  this  country,  and 
the  story  is  a  simple  lie.  , 

What  Mr.  IngersoU  did  inherit  from  his  * 
mother  perhaps  is  his  intense  love  for  liberty, 
for  she  was  one  of  the  active  Abolitionists,  and 
presented  to  Congress  the  first  petition  ever 
sent  to  that  body  asking  for  the  abolishment  of 
chattel  slavery.  All  honor  to  her !  She  died 
when  Colonel  IngersoU  was  between  two  and 
three  years  of  age. 

It  was  not  very  long  after  Mr.  IngersoU  met 
Mrs.  Cooper  in  San  Francisco  that  the  lady  her- 
self was  tried  as  a  heretic  by  the  session  of  her 
church,  and  expelled  by  a  vote  of  nine  to  eight. 
During  the  controversy  over  her  expulsion  she 


66  "  TEABS." 

made  the  remark  tliat  she  would  rather  have  her 
cousin  Robert's  society  in  hell  than  her  pastor's 
in  heaven.  That  Mr.  Ingersoll's  influence  with 
her  was  good  and  lasting  may  be  seen  from  the 
answer  she  made  to  the  inquiry  as  to  what  her 
personal  feelings  toward  her  accuser  were :  "  I 
can  best  answer  that,"  she  said,  "  by  quoting  a 
remark  Colonel  IngersoU  made  to  me  once. 
*  My  dear  cousin,  we  cannot  afford  to  hate,  for 
he  who  hates  takes  snakes  into  his  own  bosom.' " 
From  these  things  it  may  be  seen  that  Mrs. 
Cooper  came  nearer  getting  "converted"  than 
Colonel  IngersoU  did. 

Another  story  may  properly  come  in  here,  as 
it  evidently  sprang  from  this  Cooper  tale,  par- 
ticularly the  "  tears  "  part  of  it.  It  is  as  follows  : 

"  An  Atchison  woman  who  comes  from  Penn- 
sylvania, and  therefore  knows  a  great  deal,  says 
that  she  heard  before  leaving  there  that  every 
evening  before  Bob  IngersoU  goes  out  on  the 
stage  to  lecture,  he  retires  into  his  dressing- 
room  and  weeps  because  he  is  compelled  to 
deliver  such  impious  lectures  in  order  to  make 
a  living.  The  Atchison  woman  says  she  knows 
the  story  is  true,  because  she  heard  her  mother 
tell  it." 

If  the  good,  pious  fellows  who  repeat  this 
tale  for  the  marines  will  put  up  the  money  to 
pay  expenses  provided  they  are  wrong,  we  will 
produce  several  thousand  persons  who  have 
seen  Colonel  IngersoU  go  on  and  off  the  plat- 
form, not  only  without  a  whimper,  but  even 
jolly. 


FOR  THE   MONEY   IN   IT.  67 

Still  another  yarn  about  his  lectures  is  told 
by  a  man  who  said  Colonel  IngersoU  himself 
told  him  that  he  did  not  believe  what  he  talked, 
but  lectured  solely  for  the  money  there  is  in  it. 
We  have  forgotten  this  liar's  name,  but  the  alle- 
gation was  denied  by  the  Colonel  in  print,  yet 
it  is  constantly  repeated.  This  is  more  than 
an  insult  to  Mr.  Ingersoll's  character ;  it  is  an 
insult  to  his  intelligence  as  well,  and  at  the 
same  time  it  refutes  itself ;  for,  supposing  the 
allegation  to  be  true,  who  is  there  stupid 
enough  to  believe  that  Colonel  IngersoU  would 
be  fool  enough  to  say  it? 

The  same  charge  was  made  by  the  Rev.  B.  F. 
Morse,  a  Baptist  minister  of  New  York,  at  a 
meeting  of  Baptist  ministers  on  Dec.  13,  1886, 
and  the  next  day  the  Herald  contained  this 
interview  with  Colonel  IngersoU  on  the  subject  : 

"  This  aquatic  or  webfooted  theologian  who 
expects  to  go  to  heaven  by  diving,  is  not  worth 
answering.  Nothing  can  be  more  idiotic  than 
to  answer  an  argument  by  sayiug  that  he  who 
makes  it  does  not  believe  it.  Belief  has  nothing 
to  do  with  the  cogency  or  worth  of  an  argument. 

"  There  is  another  thing.  This  man,  or  rather, 
this  minister,  says  that  I  attacked  Christianity 
simply  to  make  money.  Is  it  possible  th;it, 
after  the  preachers  have  had  the  field  for  1800 
years  the  way  to  make  money  is  to  attack  the 
clergy  ?  Is  this  intended  as  a  slander  against 
me  or  the  ministers? 

"  The  trouble  is  that  my  arguments  cannot  be 
answered.  All  the  preachers  in  the  world  can- 
not prove  that  slavery  is  better  than  liberty. 


68  MR.  savage's  opinion. 

They  cannot  show  that  all  have  not  an  equal 
right  to  think.  They  cannot  show  that  all  have 
not  an  equal  right  to  express  their  thoughts. 
They  cannot  show  that  a  decent  God  will  pun- 
ish a  decent  man  for  making  the  best  guess  he 
can.     This  is  all  there  is  about  it." 

And  that  settles  that.  But  if  the  ministers 
prefer  the  word  of  one  of  their  own  profession, 
let  them  consider  this  opinion  by  the  Rev.  M. 
J.  Savage,  of  Boston :  "  I  believe,"  he  said 
recently  in  a  sermon,  "that Colonel  Ingersoll  is 
as  honest  and  as  earnest  as  was  John  Calvin  or 
Richard  Baxter.  I  believe  he  is  as  sincere  in 
his  opinions — whether  you  choose  to  call  them 
religious  or  irreligious — as  any  man  that  ever 
lived  or  spoke.  Does  he  need  to  lecture  on 
religious  subjects  to  get  money?  If  he  had  no 
other  resources,  or  if  he  made  twice  as  much  in 
that  as  in  other  way,  and  if  he  devoted  himself 
exclusively  to  that,  the  charge  might  have  some 
basis.  But  he  is  able  to  earn  money  as  a  suc- 
cessful lawyer,  and  he  does  in  that  way  earn  all 
that  he  wishes  or  needs.  Besides,  he  can  earn 
money  by  lecturing,  whatever  his  subject  may 
be.  Then,  again,  it  seems  to  me  that,  so  long 
as  the  great  majority  of  ministers  feel  a 
divine  call  to  leave  a  small  parish  and  a  poor 
salary  in  order  to  go  to  a  large  parish  and  a 
large  salary,  it  is  not  quite  safe  for  them  to 
trust  to  the  attempt  to  blacken  Colonel  Inger- 
soll's  character  by  charging  him  with  being 
influenced  by  pecuniary  motives.  I  believe, 
then,  that  he  is  earnest  and  sincere." 


CHALLENGES.  69 

ABOUT  THE  "CHALLENGES  "  TO  COLONEL  INGEKSOLL. 

Colonel  Ingersoll  never  goes  on  a  lecturing 
trip  without  receiving  "  challenges  "  from  every 
corner  of  the  country.  Little  preachers  who 
want  to  get  their  names  into  print  infest  him  at 
his  hotel  or  send  cheeky  deacons  to  defy  him  to 
combat.  When  he  declines  to  notice  them  they 
write  letters  to  their  local  papers  saying  the 
great  Agnostic  ran  away  from  them  through 
fear  of  being  worsted  in  debate,  and  preach 
sermons  from  their  pulpits  abusing  him. 

The  truth  about  this  matter  is  that  the  Colonel 
hasn't  the  time  to  lift  these  people  into  fame. 
In  Gladstone  and  Manning  and  Field  and  Black 
he  has  met  the  best  the  Christians  have,  and 
how  can  the  ministers  who  have  not  brains 
enough  to  make  more  than  a  local  reputation 
expect  to  succeed  when  these  world-known  and 
really  able  men  have  failed  ?  The  Colonel's 
position  is  well  known.  His  lectures  and  public 
discussions  and  essays  on  religious  subjects 
are  all  in  print.  Let  the  preachers  who  are  so 
anxious  to  discuss  with  him^  prove  their  merits 
by  answering  the  lectures,  if  they  can,  from  the 
platform,  or  in  the  periodicals  or  magazines. 

On  this  subject  Colonel  Ingersoll  himself 
once  said  to  the  writer,  in  answer  to  the  ques- 
tion why  he  apparently  slighted  the  clergy  : 

"In  the  first  place,  it  would  be  a  physicpj 
impossibility  to  reply  to  all  the  attacks  that 
have  been  made — to  all  the  'answers.'   I  receive 


70  FATHER  Lambert's  book. 

these  attacks,  aud  these  answers,  aiicl  thf^*'^  lec- 
tures almost  every  day.  Hundreds  of  them  are 
delivered  every  year.  A  great  many  are  put  in 
pamphlet  form,  aud,  of  course,  copies  are  re- 
ceived by  me.  Some  of  them  I  read,  at  least  I 
look  them  over,  and  I  have  never  yet  received 
one  worthy  of  the  slightest  notice,  never  one  in 
which  the  writer  showed  the  slightest  apprecia- 
tion of  the  questions  under  discussion.  All 
these  pamphlets  are  about  the  same,  and  they 
could,  for  that  matter,  have  all  been  produced  by 
one  person.  They  are  impudent,  shallow, 
abusive,  illogical,  and  in  most  respects  ignorant. 
So  far  as  the  lectures  are  concerned,  I  know  of 
no  one  who  has  yet  said  anything  that  chal- 
lenges a  reply.  I  do  not  think  a  single  para- 
graph has  been  produced  by  any  of  the 
gentlemen  who  have  replied  to  me  in  public, 
that  is  now  remembered  by  reason  of  its  logic 
or  its  beauty.  I  do  not  feel  called  upon  to 
answer  any  argument  that  does  not  at  least 
appear  to  be  of  value.  Whenever  any  article 
appears  worthy  of  an  answer,  written  in  a  kind 
and  candid  spirit,  it  gives  me  pleasure  to  reply. 
"  I  would  like  to  meet  some  one  who  speaks 
by  authority,  some  one  who  really  understands 
his  creed,  but  I  cannot  afford  to  waste  time  on 
little  priests,  or  obscure  parsons,  or  ignorant 
laymen." 

In  other  words,  he  hasn't  the  time  to  stop  and 
kill  all  the  fleas  on  the  dog.  He  is  after  the 
dog.  When  the  canine  is  dead  the  fleas  won't 
trouble  any  one. 

One  of  the  most  persistent  fellows  in  bragging 
that  he  has  "  scared  Ingersoll,"  is  a  priest  named 
Lambert,  who  wrote  a  book  in  which  he  took 


"notes  on  ingersoll."  71 

isolated  seDteuces  from  lugersoll's  lectures  and 
wove  fancy  wreaths  of  lies  and  illogic  and  dis- 
tortion and  perversion  around  them  ;  and  then 
bristled  up  to  the  Colonel  and  said,  Answer 
that,  will  you  ?  Of  course  he  was  allowed  to  go 
unnoticed,  and  he  probably  thinks  (for  his  in- 
telligence is  of  about  that  order)  that  Colonel 
Ingersoll  is  afraid  of  him !  But  what  the 
Colonel  really  thinks  of  his  book  is  found  in 
the  following  interview  with  the  editor  of  the 
Su7i  of  Saginaw,  Mich  : 

"  'I  have  a  book  here  entitled  "  Notes  on  In- 
gersoll," written  by  Father  Lambert,  a  Catholic 
priest,  claimed  by  both  Catholics  and  Protest- 
ants to  be  the  strongest  thing  ever  written 
against  you.     Have  you  ever  read  it  ?  ' 

"  '  I  have  seen  it.' 

" '  What  do  you  think  of  it  ?  ' 

"  '  I  haven't  paid  any  particular  attention  to  it, 
as  I  didn't  consider  it  worthy.' 

"  '  Is  it  the  strongest  thing  that  has  yet  ap- 
peared against  you?' 

"'  I  don't  consider  it  strong  at  all.  It  may  be 
more  ingenious  and  cunning  than  some  of  the 
others,  but  they  are  all  weak  and  evade  the 
point  at  issue.' 

"  '  Did  you  ever  say  that  this  book  contained 
the  strongest  arguments  used  against  you,  and 
that  they  were  unanswerable?' 

"  '  I  never  made  any  such  statement.' 

"  '  Will  you  please  write  your  denial  on  the 
fly-leaf  of  the  book?' 

"  The  great  apostle  of  Infidelity  took  out  his 
pencil  and  wrote  lengthwise  in  a  large,  bold 
hand  on  the  fly-leaf,  the  following  words : 

"  '  I  never  thought  this  reply  unanswerable. 


72  THE   BEASON   WHY. 

On  the  contrary,  I  never  thought  it  worth  an- 
swering.     I  have  read  but  little  of  it,  but  that 
little  is  poor  and  puerile.         R.  G.  Ingersoll. 
'''East  Saginaw,  Mich.,  Feb.  15,  1885.'" 

In  the  same  interview,  in  answer  to  the  query, 
"  Do  you  often  have  challenges  from  clergy- 
men ? "  the  Colonel  said :  "  Yes,  nearly  every 
week,  and  sometimes  every  day.  If  I  stopped 
to  notice  such,  I  wouldn't  have  time  for  any- 
thing else."  Asked  again,  "  Would  you  accept 
a  challenge  for  public  discussion  from  any  of 
the  great  lights  of  Christianity?"  Mr.  Ingersoll 
said  :  "Most  assuredly  I  would.  And  you  can 
state  on  authority  that  I  am  ready  at  any  time 
to  accept  such  a  challenge,  leaving  the  audience 
and  public  to  decide  as  to  the  merits  of  the 
arguments." 

On  another  occasion  the  writer  heard  the 
Colonel  say  in  reply  to  such  a  question  :  "  I  can't 
bother  with  such  little  fellows  as  Lambert.  Let 
them  bring  on  the  pope,  or  a  cardinal,  and  I 
will  give  him  a  whirl." 

If  this  explanation  of  why  Colonel  Ingersoll 
does  not  meet  all  the  six-by-nine  preachers  in 
the  country  is  not  satisfactory  to  them  they  will 
have  to  go  unsatisfied. 

THE  "  ROBBED  HIM  OF  HIS  CRUTCHES  "   STORY. 

This  story  has  been  going  the  rounds  of  the 
religious  press  for  the  past  ten  or  twelve  years. 
Who  invented  it  we  do  not  know.     Probably 


THE  BEECHER  MYTH.  73 

some  fellow  on  a  religious  paper.     It  runs  as 
follows : 

"  Colonel  Ingersoll  and  Mr.  Beecber  were 
once  in  company,  and  in  answer  to  a  defense  of 
heresy  by  Colonel  Ingersoll,  Mr.  Beecher  re- 
lated that,  as  he  was  walking  along  the  street,  a 
'  big,  burly  ruffian  '  robbed  a  poor  cripple  of  his 
crutches,  leaving  him  sprawling  in  the  mud. 
Turning  to  Mr.  Ingersoll  (so  the  yarn  goes),  Mr. 
Beecher,  rising  from  his  chair  and  brushing 
back  his  long,  white  hair,  while  his  eyes  glit- 
tered with  the  old-time  fire  as  he  bent  them  on 
Ingersoll,  said,  'Yes,  Colonel  Ingersoll,  and  you 
are  the  man !  The  human  soul  is  lame,  but 
Christianity  gives  it  crutches  to  enable  it  to 
pass  the  highway  of  life.  It  is  your  teaching 
that  knocks  these  crutches  from  under  it,  and 
leaves  it  a  helpless  and  rudderless  wreck  in  the 
slough  of  despond.  If  robbing  the  human  soul 
of  its  only  support  on  this  earth — religion — be 
your  profession,  why,  ply  it  to  your  heart's  con- 
tent. It  requires  an  architect  to  erect  a  building ; 
an  incendiary  can  reduce  it  to  ashes.'  The  old 
man  sat  down,  and  silence  brooded  over  the 
scene.  Colonel  Ingersoll  found  that  he  had  a 
master  in  his  own  power  of  illustration,  and 
said  nothing.  The  company  took  their  hats  and 
parted." 

Notwithstanding  the  fact  that  Mr.  Beecher 
denied  the  story  in  a  letter  to  Horace  Seaver, 
the  Christians  circulated  it  vigorously,  and 
probably  every  religious  paper  in  this  country 
and  in  England  has  printed  it.  We  denied  it 
time  and  again  in  the  The  Truth  Seeker,  and 
finally  one  of  the  Colonel  friends  asked  him  for 


74  CRIPPLED   CHRISTIANS. 

something  on  the  subject  to  use  on  the  liars. 
In  reply  to  this  request  he  wrote  the  following 
letter : 

"  New  York,  Sept.  8,  1887. 
"J.  L.  Treuthart,  Esq.— il/y  Dear  Sir:  There 
is  not  one  word  of  truth  in  the  article  you  sent 
me,  entitled  'Eobbed  Him  of  his  Crutches,' 
which  I  reinclose  to  you.  People  are  contin- 
ually manufacturing  falsehoods  for  the  purpose 
of  avoiding  arguments  that  they  cannot  answer. 
I  never  had  any  such  conversation  with  Mr. 
Beecher,  nor  with  any  other  human  being,  nor 
anything  approaching  it,  nor  anything  out  of 
which  such  a  story  could  honestly  have  been 
made.     Yours  very  truly,     R.  G.  Ingersoll." 

With  the  denials  of  both  of  the  alleged  par- 
ties to  the  fairy  tale  before  them,  we  really  think 
that  the  Christians  should  stop  circulating  it. 

But  any  Christian  who  thinks  that  such  a 
retort  as  Mr.  Beecher  is  said  to  have  made 
would  floor  the  Colonel  doesn't  know  the  man. 
Denying  this  story  once  to  the  San  Francisco 
Post,  the  Colonel  added  : 

"As  a  matter  of  fact,  nothing  could  be  more 
idiotic  than  the  idea  that  men  who  are  destroying 
superstition  are  taking  crutches  from  Christian 
cripples.  Will  the  Christians  admit  that  they  are 
cripples?  and  will  they  admit  that  their  creeds 
are  crutches  ?  Will  they  also  admit  that  the  Free- 
thinker takes  away  their  crutches  and  leaves 
them  helpless  ?  It  would  be  cruel  to  take  crutches 
from  a  cripple  ;  on  the  other  hand,  it  would  be 
exceedingly  philanthropic  and  humane  to  cure 
the  cripple,  so  that  he  would  throw  away  the 


BEECHER   ON   INGERSOLL.  76 

crutclies  himself.  My  effort  has  been  to  make 
man  superior  to  superstition — to  educate  him 
to  that  degree  that  he  shall  need  no  crutches, 
and  to  convince  him  that  a  good  cause  never 
has,  and  never  will,  need  the  assistance  of  false- 
hood." 

There  is  no  need  of  going  to  the  religious 
press  to  learn  Mr.  Beecher's  opinion  of  Colonel 
Ingersoll,  nor  of  reading  apochryphal  stories 
about  it.  These  two  great  orators  once  spoke 
from  the  same  platform,  and  as  it  was  in  Mr. 
Beecher's  home  town  it  devolved  upon  him  to 
introduce  Mr.  Ingersoll,  which  he  did  in  the 
following  words:  "The  gentleman  who  is  to 
speak  to  you  to-night  is  not  speaking  in  a  con- 
venticle nor  in  a  church.  He  is  speaking  to  a 
great  body  of  citizens,  and  I  take  the  liberty,  in 
your  behalf,  to  say  now  that  we  greet  him  to- 
night as  a  man  who  has  done  valiant  things  for 
the  right  without  variableness  or  shadow  of 
turning  for  a  full  score  of  years.  On  the  ground 
of  a  pure  patriotism,  of  a  pure  humanity,  and  of 
a  living  faith  in  liberty,  I  give  to  him  the  right 
hand  of  fellowship.  Now,  fellow-citizens,  let 
me  introduce  to  you  a  man  who,  I  say  not  flat- 
teringly but  with  sincere  conviction,  is  the  most 
brilliant  speaker  of  the  English  tongue  in  any 
land  on  the  globe.  I  introduce  to  you  Colonel 
Ingersoll." 

COLONEL  INGERSOLL's  BELIEFS. 

Colonel  Ingersoll's  opinion  of  the  Christian 
scheme  is  well  known,  but  on  the  questions  of 


76  JEHOVAH. 

"God"  and  "immortality"  there  are  various 
,  opinions  as  to  his  position.      On  these  subjects 

the  honest  way  is  to  take  a  man's  own 
'   words,  which  we  quote.     In  his  latest  lecture 

on  "  The  Foundations  of  Faith,"  he  has  this  to 

say  about  "  God  "  : 

*'  God  the  Father. 

"  The  Jehovah  of  the  Old  Testament  is  the 
God  of  the  Christians. 

"He  it  was  who  created  the  Universe,  who 
made  all  substance,  all  force,  all  life,  from 
nothing.  He  it  is  who  has  governed  and  still 
governs  the  world.  He  has  established  and 
destroyed  empires  and  kingdoms,  despotisms 
and  republics.  He  has  enslaved  and  liberated 
the  sons  of  men.  He  has  caused  the  sun  to  rise 
on  the  good  and  on  the  evil,  and  his  rain  to  fall 
on  the  just  and  unjust. 

"This  shows  his  goodness. 

"  He  has  caused  his  volcanoes  to  devour  the 
good  and  the  bad,  his  cyclones  to  wreck  and  rend 
the  generous  and  the  cruel,  his  floods  to  drown 
the  loving  and  the  hateful,  his  lightning  to  kill 
the  virtuous  and  the  vicious,  his  famines  to 
starve  the  innocent  and  criminal,  and  his  plagues 
to  destroy  the  wise  and  good,  the  ignorant  and 
wicked.  He  has  allowed  his  enemies  to  im- 
prison, to  torture,  and  to  kill  his  friends.  He 
has  permitted  blasphemers  to  flay  his  wor- 
shipers alive,  to  dislocate  their  joints  upon 
racks,  and  to  burn  them  at  the  stake.  He  has 
allowed  men  to  enslave  their  brothers  and  to  sell 
babes  from  the  breasts  of  mothers. 

**  This  shows  his  impartiality. 

"  The  pious  negro  who  commenced  his  prayer: 
*0  thou  great  and  unscrupulous  God,*  was 
nearer  right  than  he  knew. 


THE   BIBLE  GOD.  77 

''  Ministers  ask  :  Is  it  possible  for  God  to  for- 
give man  ? 

"  And  when  I  think  of  what  has  been  suffered 
— of  the  centuries  of  agony  and  tears,  I  ask : 
Is  it  possible  for  man  to  forgive  God?  . 

"  How  do  Christians  prove  the  existence  of 
their  God  ?  Is  is  possible  to  think  of  an  infi- 
nite being?  Does  the  word  God  correspond 
with  any  image  in  the  mind?  Does  the  word 
God  stand  for  what  we  know  or  for  what  we  do 
not  know? 

"  Is  not  this  unthinkable  God,  a  guess,  an 
inference  ? 

"  Can  we  think  of  a  being  without  form,  with- 
out body,  without  parts,  without  passions  ? 
Why  should  we  speak  of  a  being  without  a  body 
as  of  the  masculine  gender  ? 

"  Why  should  the  Bible  speak  of  this  God  as 
a  man? — of  his  walking  in  the  garden  in  the 
cool  of  the  evening — of  his  talking,  hearing,  and 
smelling  ?  If  he  has  no  passions,  why  is  he 
spoken  of  as  jealous,  revengeful,  angry,  pleased, 
and  loving  ? 

"  In  the  Bible  God  is  spoken  of  as  a  person 
in  the  form  of  man,  journeying  from  place  to 
place,  as  having  a  home  and  occupying  a 
throne. 

"  These  ideas  have  been  abandoned,  and  now 
the  Christian's  God  is  the  infinite,  the  incom- 
prehensible, the  formless,  bodiless,  and  passion- 
less. 

"  Of  the  existence  of  such  a  being  there  can 
be,  in  the  nature  of  things,  no  evidence. 

"  Confronted  with  the  universe,  with  fields  of 
space  sown  thick  with  stars,  with  all  there  is  of 
life,  the  wise  man,  being  asked  the  origin  and 
destiny  of  all,  replies  :  '  I  do  not  know.  These 
questions  are  beyond  the  powers  of  my  mind.* 


78  THE  UNKNOWN. 

The  wise  man  is  thoughtful  and  modest.  He 
clings  to  facts.  Beyond  his  intellectual  horizon 
he  does  not  pretend  to  see.  He  does  not  mis- 
take hope  for  evidence  or  desire  for  demonstra- 
tion. He  is  honest.  He  deceives  neither 
himself  nor  others. 

"  The  theologian  arrives  at  the  unthinkable, 
the  inconceivable,  and  he  calls  this  God.  The 
scientist  arrives  at  the  unthinkable,  the  incon- 
ceivable, and  calls  it  the  Unknown. 

"The  theologian  insists  that  his  inconceivable 
governs  the  world,  that  it,  or  he,  or  they,  can  be 
influenced  by  prayers  and  ceremonies,  that  it, 
or  he,  or  they,  punishes  and  rewards,  that  it,  or 
he,  or  they,  has  priests  and  temples. 

*'  The  scientist  insists  that  the  Unknown  is  not 
changed  so  far  as  he  knows  by  prayers  of  people 
or  of  priests.  He  admits  that  he  does  not  know 
whether  the  Unknown  is  good  or  bad — whether 
he,  or  it,  wants  or  whether  he,  or  it,  is  worthy 
of  worship.  He  does  not  say  that  the  Unknown 
is  God,  that  it  created  substance  and  force,  life 
and  thought.  He  simply  says  that  of  the  Un- 
known he  knows  nothing. 

"  Why  should  Christians  insist  that  a  God  of 
infinite  wisdom,  goodness,  and  power  governs 
the  world  ? 

"  Why  did  he  allow  millions  of  his  children  to 
be  enslaved?  Why  did  he  allow  millions  of 
mothers  to  be  robbed  of  their  babes  ?  Why  has 
he  allowed  injustice  to  triumph  ?  Why  has  he 
permitted  the  innocent  to  be  imprisoned  and 
the  good  to  be  burned?  Why  has  he  withheld 
his  rain  and  starved  millions  of  the  children  of 
men?  Why  has  he  allowed  the  volcanoes  to 
destroy,  the  earthquakes  to  devour,  and  the 
tempest  to  wreck  and  rend  ?  " 


ON  iMMORTALrnr.  79 

From  these  words,  according  to  the  capacity 
of  the  reader  for  splitting  metaphysical  hairs, 
Mr.  Ingersoll  is  an  Atheist,  a  Spencerian  Ag- 
nostic, or  a  Huxleyan  Agnostic,  with  some 
variations  from  each  which  may  make  him  an 
IngersoUian  Agnostic.  The  Christian  would 
call  him  an  Atheist.  But  Deist  or  Theist  he  is 
not,  and  there  ia  where  he  is  ahead  of  Paine 
and  Voltaire. 

On  the  subject  of  immortality  he  says : 

" '  Oh,*  but  they  say  to  me,  *  you  take  away 
immortality  I*  I  do  not.  If  we  are  immortal 
it  is  a  fact  in  nature,  and  we  are  not  indebted 
to  priests  for  it,  nor  to  Bibles  for  it,  and  it 
cannot  be  destroyed  by  unbelief.  As  long  as 
we  love  we  will  hope  to  live,  and  when  the  one 
dies  whom  we  love,  we  will  say,  *  Oh,  that  we 
could  meet  again,'  and  whether  we  do  or  not  it 
will  not  be  the  work  of  theology.  It  will  be  a 
fact  in  nature.  I  would  not  for  my  life  destroy 
one  star  of  human  hope,  but  I  want  it  so  that 
when  a  poor  woman  rocks  the  cradle  and  sings  a 
lullaby  to  the  dimpled  darling,  she  will  not  be 
compelled  to  believe  that  ninety-nine  chances 
in  a  hundred  she  is  raising  kindling  wood  for 
hell." 

Again : 

'  "I  have  said  a  thousand  times,  and  I  say 
again,  that  the  idea  of  immortality,  that,  like  a 
sea,  has  ebbed  and  flowed  in  the  human  heart, 
with  its  countless  waves  of  hope  and  fear  beat- 
ing against  the  shores  and  rocks  of  time  and 
fate,  was  not  born  of  any  book,  nor  of  any  creed, 
nor  of  any  religion.  It  was  born  of  human 
affection,  and  it  will  continue  to  ebb  and  flow 


80  THE   HEKEATTEB. 

beneath  the  mists  and  clouds  of  doubt  and 
darkness  as  long  as  love  kisses  the  lips  of 
death. 

"I  have  said  a  thousand  times,  and  I  say 
again,  that  v^e  do  not  know,  we  cannot  say, 
whether  death  is  a  wall  or  a  door — the  begin- 
ning, or  end,  of  a  day — the  spreading  of  pinions 
to  soar,  or  the  folding  forever  of  wings — the 
rise  or  the  set  of  a  sun,  or  an  endless  life,  that 
brings  rapture  and  love  to  every  one.    -' 

"The  belief  in  immortality  is  far  older  than 
Christianity.  Thousands  of  years  before  Christ 
was  born  billions  of  people  had  lived  and  died 
in  that  hope.  Upon  countless  graves  had  been 
laid  in  love  and  tears  the  emblems  of  another 
life.  The  heaven  of  the  New  Testament  was  to 
be  in  this  world.  The  dead,  after  they  were 
raised,  were  to  live  here.  Not  one  satisfactory 
word  was  said  to  have  been  uttered  by  Christ- 
nothing  philosophic,  nothing  clear,  nothing 
that  adorns,  like  a  bow  of  promise,  the  cloud  of 
doubt." 

Again : 

"  One  world  at  a  time  is  my  doctrine. 

"It  is  said  in  this  Testament,  '  Sufficient  unto 
the  day  is  the  evil  thereof ; '  and  I  say  :  Suffi- 
cient unto  each  world  is  the  evil  thereof. 
C  "  And  suppose  after  all  that  death  does  end 
all.  Next  to  eternal  joy,  next  to  being  forever 
with  those  we  love  and  those  who  have  loved, 
us,  next  to  that,  is  to  be  wrapt  in  the  dreamless 
drapery  of  eternal  peace.  Next  to  eternal  life 
is  eternal  sleep.  Upon  the  shadowy  shore  of 
death  the  sea  of  trouble  casts  no  wave.  Eyes 
that  have  been  curtained  by  the  everlasting  dark 
will  never  know  again  the  burning  touch  of  tears. 
Lips  touched  by  eternal  silence  will  never  speak 


CONSOLATION.  81 

again  the  broken  words  of  grief.  Hearts  of  dust 
do  not  break.  The  dead  do  not  weep.  Within 
the  tomb  no  veiled  and  weeping  sorrow  sits, 
and  in  the  rayless  gloom  is  crouched  no  shud- 
dering fear. 

"I  had  rather  think  of  those  I  have  loved 
and  lost,  as  having  returned  to  earth,  as  having 
become  a  part  of  the  elemental  wealth  of  the 
world — I  would  rather  think  of  them  as  un- 
conscious dust,  I  would  rather  dream  of  them 
as  gurgling  in  the  streams,  floating  in  the  clouds, 
bursting  in  the  foam  of  light  upon  the  shores  of 
worlds,  I  would  rather  think  of  them  as  the  lost 
visions  of  a  forgotten  night,  than  to  have  even  the 
faintest  fear  that  their  naked  souls  have  been 
clutched  by  an  orthodox  god.  I  will  leave  my 
dead  where  nature  leaves  them.  Whatever 
flower  of  hope  springs  up  in  my  heart  I  will 
cherish,  I  will  give  it  breath  of  sighs  and  rain 
of  tears.  But  I  cannot  believe  that  there  is  any 
being  in  this  universe  who  has  created  a  human 
soul  for  eternal  pain.  I  would  rather  that  every 
god  would  destroy  himself  ;  .1  would  rather  that 
we  all  should  go  to  eternal  chaos,  to  black  and 
starless  night,  than  that  just  one  soul  should 
suffer  eternal  agony." } 

And  in  this  place  it  may  be  well  to  give  the 
oft-discussed  and  sometimes  misrepresented 
letter  which  Mr.  Ingersoll  wrote  to  a  bereaved 
mother  of  San  Francisco.  The  circumstances 
were,  briefly,  as  follows  :  In  the  year  1885,  in 
the  summer,  a  lady  of  San  Francisco  was  sud- 
denly overwhelmed  by  a  crushing  affliction. 
Her  son,  an  only  child,  had  gone  on  a  short  jour- 
ney, expecting  soon  to  return.  Sudden  and 
fatal  illness  befell  him,  and  a  brief  telegram 


f 


82  TO  A  BEREAVED  MOTHER. 

aDnounced  the  fact  to  his  mother.  The  terrors 
of  the  Calvinistic  creed  in  which  she  had  been 
brought  up,  and  according  to  which,  as  she  well 
knew,  there  was  no  hope  for  future  happiness 
for  the  unconverted  young  man,  added  greatly 
to  her  agonizing  grief,  and  her  friends  feared  that 
her  reason,  if  not  her  life,  would  be  destroyed. 
A  friend  who  sympathized  deeply  with  and 
vainly  sought  to  console  her,  informed  Colonel 
lugersoll,  and  begged  him,  if  possible,  to  write 
something  which  might  at  least  relieve  in  a 
measure  the  terrible  apprehension  she  felt  as 
to  the  fate  of  her  son.  His  letter,  which,  as 
will  be  seen  by  the  lady's  grateful  reply,  was  in 
a  good  measure  effective,  was  given  to  a  re- 
porter to  be  printed  on  the  condition  that  the 
name  of  the  recipient  was  to  be  withheld : 

"  My  Dear  Madam  :  Mrs.  C.  has  told  me  the 
sad  story  of  your  almost  infinite  sorrow.  I  am 
not  foolish  enough  to  suppose  that  I  can  say  or 
do  anything  to  lessen  your  great  grief,  your 
anguish  for  his  loss  ;  but  may  be  I  can  say  some- 
thing to  drive  from  your  poor  heart  the  fiend 
of  fear — fear  for  him. 

"  If  there  is  a  God,  let  us  believe  that  he  is 
good ;  and  if  he  is  good,  the  good  have  nothing 
to  fear.  I  have  been  told  that  your  son  was 
kind  and  generous;  that  he  was  filled  with 
charity  and  sympathy.  Now,  we  know  that  in 
this  world  like  begets  like,  kindness  produces 
kindness,  and  all  good  bears  the  fruit  of  joy. 
Belief  is  nothing — deeds  are  everything  ;  and  if 
your  son  was  kind  he  will  naturally  find  kind- 
ness wherever  he  may  be.     You  would  not  in- 


BRAVE  WORDS.  83, 

flict  endless  pain  upon  your  worst  enemy.  Is 
God  worse  than  you?  You  could  not  bear  to 
see  a  viper  suffer  forever.  Is  it  possible  that 
God  will  doom  a  kind  and  generous  boy  to  ever- 
lasting pain  ?  Nothing  can  be  more  monstrously 
absurd  and  cruel. 

"The  truth  is,  that  no  human  being  knows 
anything  of  what  is  beyond  the  grave.  If 
nothing  is  known,  then  it  is  not  honest  for 
anyone  to  pretend  that  he  does  know.  If 
nothing  is  known,  then  we  can  hope  only  for 
the  good.  If  there  be  a  God  your  boy  is  no 
more  in  his  power  now  than  he  was  before  his 
death — no  more  than  you  are  at  the  present 
moment.  Why  should  we  fear  God  more  after 
death  than  before?  Does  the  feeling  of  God 
toward  his  children  change  the  moment  they 
die?  While  we  are  alive  they  say  God  loves 
us;  when  will  he  cease  to  love  us?  True  love 
never  changes.  I  beg  of  you  to  throw  away  all 
fear.  Take  counsel  of  your  own  heart.  If  God 
exists,  your  heart  is  the  best  revelation  of  him, 
and  your  heart  could  never  send  your  boy  to 
endless  pain.  After  all,  no  one  knows.  The 
ministers  know  nothing.  And  all  the  churches 
in  the  world  know  no  more  on  this  subject  than 
the  ants  on  the  ant-hills.  Creeds  are  good  for 
nothing  except  to  break  the  hearts  of  the  loving^J^ 

"Let  us  have  courage.  Under  the  seven-  ^^ 
hued  arch  of  hope  let  the  dead  sleep.  I  do  not 
pretend  to  know,  but  I  do  know  that  others  do 
not  know.  Listen  to  your  heart,  believe  what 
it  says,  and  wait  with  patience  and  without  fear 
for  what  the  future  has  for  all.  If  we  can  get 
no  comfort  from  what  people  know,  let  us  avoid 
being  driven  to  despair  by  what  they  do  not 
know. 

"  I  wish  I  could  say  something  that  would 
put  a  star  in  your  night  of  grief — a  little  flower 


84  THE  mother's  reply. 

in  your  lonely  path — and  if  an  unbeliever  has 
such  a  wish,  surely  an  infinitely  good  bein<^ 
never  made  a  soul  to  be  the  food  of  pain  through 
countless  years.  Sincerely  yours, 

*'  R.  G.  Ingersoll." 

Was  ever  a  better  letter  written  to  a  heart- 
broken mother?  Certainly  the  argument  to  a 
Calvinist  that  God  loves  his  children  as  much 
after  death  as  before  is  unanswerable,  and  to 
one  who  believes  in  a  personal  God,  conse- 
quently consoling.  That  the  letter  proved  such 
is  evidenced  by  the  following  reply : 

*'  Dear  Colonel  Ingersoll  :  I  found  your  let- 
ter inclosed  with  one  from at  my  door  on 

the  way  to  this  hotel  to  see  a  friend.  I  broke 
the  seal  here,  and  through  blinding  tears — 
letting  it  fall  from  my  hands  between  each 
sentence  to  sob  my  heart  out — read  it.  The 
first  peace  I  have  known,  real  peace,  since  the 
terrible  blow,  has  come  to  me  now.  While  I 
will  not  doubt  the  existence  of  a  God,  I  feel  that 
I  can  rest  my  grief-stricken  heart  on  his  good- 
ness and  mercy ;  and  you  have  helped  me  to  do 
this.  Why,  you  have  helped  me  to  believe  in  an 
all-merciful  and  loving  creator,  who  has  gathered 
(I  will  try  to  believe)  my  poor  little  boy — my 
kind,  large-hearted  child — into  his  tender  and 
sheltering  arms.  There  is  a  genuine  ring  in 
your  words  that  lifts  me  up. 

"Your  belief,  so  clear  and  logical,  so  filled 
with  common  sense,  corresponds,  so  far  back  as 
I  can  remember,  with  my  own  matter-of-fact 
ideas  ;  and  I  was  the  child  of  good  and  praying 
parents,  and  my  great  wondering  eyes,  ques- 
tioning silently  when  they  talked  to  me,  my 
strange  ways,  while  I  tried  to  be  good,  caused 


A  GENEROUS  DEED.  86 

them  often  great  anxiety  and  many  a  pang — 
God  forgive  me ! 

"I  am  writing,  while  people  are  talking  about 
me,  just  a  line  to  thank  3^ou  from  the  bottom  of 
my  heart  for  the  comfort  you  have  given  me 
to-day.  You  great,  good  man ;  I  see  the  traces 
of  your  tears  all  over  your  letter,  and  I  could 
clasp  your  hand  and  bless  you  for  this  comfort 
you  have  given  my  poor  heart." 

This  lady's  friend  who  sent  her  to  Colonel 
Ingersoll  for  consolation  evidently  was  Mrs. 
Cooper,  and  that  fact  and  this  reply  is  the  best 
evidence  possible  that  instead  of  Mrs.  Cooper 
converting  Colonel  Ingersoll,  as  Lady  Somerset 
says,  he  very  nearly  converted  them  all.  That 
she  should  ask  the  Colonel  to  write  this  letter 
of  consolation  instead  of  a  minister  tells  the 
tale,  and  when  some  future  Lady  Somerset 
draws  upon  her  imagination  for  facts  upon 
which  to  build  a  ridiculous  theory  regarding 
this  same  gifted  man  it  will  be  found  to  be 
sufficient  answer.  It  reminds  the  writer  of  an 
incident  at  the  Reynolds  trial  for  blasphemy. 
After  the  Colonel  had  made  his  speech  to  the 
jury  the  court  adjourned  for  lunch.  During  the 
lunch  hour  the  people  who  had  heard  the  speech 
crowded  around  the  Colonel  and  told  him  how 
much  they  agreed  with  him.  Among  them  was 
the  son  of  the  Congregational  minister  of  the 
place  and  other  decent  people  who  somehow  be- 
longed to  the  church.  When  the  court  recon- 
vened. Colonel  Ingersoll  joined  in  a  conference 
of  the  three  judges  as  to  the  case,  and  in  com- 


86  INQERSOLL  AND  BLACK. 

menting  on  the  matter  while  the  jury  were  de- 
liberating he  told  the  judges  what  the  people 
had  said.  And  he  added,  "You  better  discharge 
Reynolds  or  I  will  appeal  and  try  the  case  again 
and  convert  the  whole  town."  So  they  let 
Reynolds  off  with  a  fine  of  $25  and  costs 
(amounting  to  about  $50  more),  which  Colonel 
lugersoll  paid  out  of  his  own  pocket,  refusing 
reimbursement.  His  legal  services  were  also 
gratuitous,  and  one  of  the  days  he  was  down 
there  he  refused  an  offer  of  a  thousand  dollars 
to  go  elsewhere  for  a  few  hours  to  another  court. 
But  this  is  a  digression.  The  point  is  that 
Colonel  Ingersoll  practically  converted  Mrs. 
Cooper  and  the  Calvinist  lady  instead  of  being 
converted  himself.  Instead  of  relying  on  the 
"Lord  Jesus  Christ"  to  comfort  the  bereaved 
mother,  Mrs.  Cooper  relied  on  Colonel  luger- 
soll ;  and  the  unhappy  Christian  mother  found 
the  comfort  in  his  letter  that  she  could  not  in 
the  "word  of  God"  and  the  "messages  "  of  the 
"prince  of  peace.'* 

INGERSOLL  AlTD  BLACK. 

In  1881  Colonel  Ingersoll  had  a  little  discus- 
sion with  Jadge  Jeremiah  Black,  of  Pennsyl- 
vania, since  deceased.  The  discussion  would 
have  lasted  longer,  but  Judge  Black  became  dis- 
pleased with  the  editor  of  the  North  American 
Revieiu,  and  refused  to  contribute  a  second 
article  to  the  pages  of  that  magazine.  A  Chris- 
tian stump  speaker,  erstwhile  a  general,  with 


ingersoll's  letter.  87 

that  great  regard  for  truth  characteristic  of 
Christians  when  speaking  of  Infidels,  said  in  a 
public  lecture  in  this  city  that  Colonel  IngersoU 
personally  appealed  to  the  editor  of  the  Bevieio 
to  suppress  Black's  rejoinder  to  him.  This 
statement  was  telegraphed  all  over  the  country 
and  every  Christian  editor  printed  it  with  ap- 
propriate comments.  The  truth  of  the  matter 
will  be  found  in  the  two  following  letters — the 
first  from  Colonel  IngersoU,  the  second  from 
Allen  Thorndike  Rice,  the  editor  of  the  Review: 

"  New  York,  April  18,  1888. 

"The  statement  that  I  interfered  to  prevent 
the  publication  of  Judge  Black's  reply  to  an 
article  of  mine  in  the  North  American  Bevieio  is, 
of  course,  without  the  slightest  foundation  in 
fact. 

"I  never  said  one  word  to  the  editor  or  the 
manager  of  the  Revieiv  on  that  subject  until 
long  after  the  quarrel  between  the  manager  and 
Judge  Black  had  taken  place.  Had  it  been  left 
to  me,  I  should  have  requested  the  publication 
of  the  so-called  '  reply.' 

"I  was  asked  to  write  an  article  for  the  Be- 
vietv,  not  knowing  who  was  to  answer  it.  I  did 
write  the  article,  and  a  reply  was  written  by 
Judge  Black,  and  both  the  articles  appeared  in 
the  same  number  of  the  Bevieio.  The  reason 
for  this,  as  the  manager  told  me,  was  that  he 
thought  it  better  to  have  both  sides  represented, 
fearing  that  people  might  object  to  my  article 
unless  a  reply  was  in  the  same  number.  His 
experience  made  him  somewhat  bolder,  and  he 
concluded  that  it  was  not  necessary  to  publish 
both  the  articles  in  the  same  number,  so  he 
published    my   second    article    by   itself,   and 


88  eioe's  letter. 

offered  to  publish  Judge  Black's  reply  in  the 
next  number. 

"  With  this  arrangement  Judge  Black  found 
fault,  why  I  do  not  know  and  never  inquired. 
Black  published  his  reply  in  some  Philadelphia 
paper,  claiming  that  he  had  not  been  fairly 
treated  by  the  Revieio.  I  never  understood  that 
he  blamed  me.  If  he  did,  he  was  entirely  mis- 
taken. 

"No  one  wanted  Judge  Black's  reply  pub- 
lished more  than  I  did,  because  in  that  way, 
and  in  that  way  only,  could  people  have  a  real- 
izing sense  of  the  utter  weakness  of  the  true 
orthodox  side.  Yours  very  truly, 

"  B.  G.  Ingersoll." 

Mr.  Rice's  letter  on  the  subject  was  printed 
in  the  New  York  World  of  May  28,  1888 ; 

"To  THE  Editor  op  the  World:  Permit  me  to 
correct  an  error  which  I  find  in  your  report  of 
a  lecture  delivered  in  this  city,  published  May 
1st,  and  now  called  to  my  attention. 

"  The  lecturer  charges  Colonel  Ingersoll  with 
having  prevented  Judge  Black  from  replying  to 
him  in  the  North  American  Review.  This  state- 
ment, although  corrected  again  and  again,  con- 
tinues to  be  made.  Colonel  Ingersoll  never  has 
sought,  directly  or  indirectly,  by  request  or 
suggestion,  to  influence  in  the  slightest  degree 
the  conduct  of  the  North  American  Revieiu. 

"  With  regard  to  the  charge  that  Colonel  In- 
gersoll in  some  way  prevented  Judge  Black 
from  replying  to  him  in  the  Revieio,  the  facts 
are  as  follows :  Colonel  Ingersoll  was  asked  to 
write  an  article  for  the  Review.  He  did  not 
know  at  the  time  who  was  to  reply.  The  ar- 
rangement was  that  Colonel  Ingersoll  should 


CHBISTIAN  COWARDICE.  &i 

write  au  article ;  that  some  one  would  answer 
it;  that  he  then  should  have  the  privilepje  of 
replying ;  then  that  one,  two,  or  three  others 
might  answer  him,  and  that  he  (Colonel  Inger- 
soll)  should  have  the  final  reply. 

"  The  first  two  articles  were  published  in  one 
number,  and  the  next  two  papers  would  have 
appeared  simultaneously  but  for  limitations  of 
space,  it  being  deemed  inadvisable  to  fill  the 
Revieio  with  the  discussion  of  the  one  question. 

"Colonel  IngersoU's  reply  was  published,  and 
Judge  Black  was  informed  that  the  same  num- 
ber of  pages  of  the  next  issue  would  be  at  his 
disposal.  But  the  Judge  could  not  be  induced 
to  write  a  second  article,  although  strongly 
urged  to  do  so.  It  was  evident  that  he  did  not 
wish  to  continue  the  controversy  on  any  condi- 
tions, and,  although  Judge  Black's  ability  as  a 
lawyer  and  writer  is  disputed  by  none,  it  was 
the  general  verdict  of  disinterested  readers  that 
he  was  unequal  to  maintain  a  controversy  with 
his  more  gifted  opponent,  and  that  he  sought 
to  cover  his  retreat  by  resorting  to  personal 
abuse  of  myself. 

"I  happen  to  know  that  Colonel  Ingersoll 
regretted  the  withdrawal  of  Judge  Black,  and 
was  ignorant  of  any  dissatisfaction  on  his  part 
until  after  his  article  had  appeared.  The 
charge  that  Colonel  Ingersoll  was  afraid  to  meet 
Judge  Black  is  palpably  absurd.  Without  de- 
siring to  become  a  partisan  in  this  discussion, 
I  may  permit  myself  as  a  spectator  to  suggest 
that  it  is  hardly  credible  that  any  man  would 
run  away  from  Judge  Black  to  cross  swords 
with  Mr.  Gladstone. 

"  Allen  Thorndike  Kice." 

These  letters  closed  the  mouth  of  the  whilom 
general  who  had  set  the   charges  going,   but 


90  ANOTHER   STORY. 

every  once  in  a  while  some  ignorant  Christian 
repeats  the  slander. 

There  was,  however,  in  this  Ingersoll-Black 
controversy  one  man  who  tvas  afraid,  and  that 
was  George  P.  Fisher,  who  wrote  the  conclud- 
ing paper  in  the  controversy.  When  Judge 
Black  refused  to  continue  the  argument,  the 
editor  of  the  Review  looked  about  for  some 
other  able  man.  It  is  reported  that  he  applied 
to  Henry  Ward  Beecher,  and  Mr.  Beecher  re- 
fused on  the  ground  that  no  one  could  answer 
Mr.  Ingersoll.  "It  can't  be  done,"  are  the 
words  he  is  reported  to  have  used.  But  whether 
this  is  true  of  Mr.  Beecher  or  not,  Mr.  Fisher 
was  approached  by  the  editor  of  the  Review, 
and  he  did  agree  to  "answer"  Mr.  Ingersoll, 
with  only  one  stipulation — and  that  was,  that 
Mr.  Ingersoll  should  not  be  permitted  to  an- 
swer him.  That  stipulation  has  been  observed, 
and  Fisher's  "  answer"  stands  to-day  a  monu- 
ment of  Christian  cowardice. 

ANOTHER   STORY. 

One  of  the  latest  apocryphal  tales  and  amus- 
ing comments  based  thereon,  is  the  following, 
which  we  take  from  the  Jewish  Ledger  of  New 
Orleans : 

"Colonel  Ingersoll  is  now  engaged  in  the 
novel  occupation  of  keeping  a  record  of  all 
ministers  who  have  gone  astray.  Recently  in 
a  public  address  he  declared  that  he  had  ascer- 
tained in  various  ways  that  at  least  forty  min- 


"crimes  of  preachers."  91 

isters  and  priests  Lad  during  the  past  year 
committed  penitentiary  oflfenses,  or  been  guilty 
of  gross  immoralities. 

"The  Pres5?/fe/7'm^,  commenting  on  this  facr, 
estimates  tlie  ministerial  army  of  this  land  at 
111,036,  and  averages  the  fallen  ones,  conced- 
ing the  truthfulness  of  Ingersoll's  assertion,  at 
one  in  2,700,  and  further  declares  that  if  the 
great  defamer  can  make  no  better  showing  than 
he  has  done  he  had  better  spike  his  guns  and 
retire  in  shame." 

The  facts  are  of  course  that  Colonel  Ingersoll 
has  never  thought  of  keeping  such  a  record,  and 
never  made  any  such  declaration  in  any  speech. 
The  Truth  Seeker  Company,  however,  publish 
such  a  book,  necessarily  imperfectly  compiled, 
but  the  rascals  noted  exceed  many  times  the 
number  given.  And  this  emphasizes  the  distinc- 
tion between  the  great  Agnostic  and  his  clerical 
detractors.  The  charges  brought  against  him 
are  all  lies ;  when  the  same  things  are  alleged 
against  the  ministers  the  truth  is  invariably 
understated.  So,  while  Colonel  Ingersoll's 
character  is  absolutely  unimpeachable,  his  slan- 
derers are  helping  to  fill  our  penitentiaries  by 
being  justly  convicted  of  about  all  the  crimes 
in  the  calendar  of  crime.  The  book,  "  Crimes 
of  Preachers,"  furnishes  indisputable  proof  of 
this. 

There  have  been  circulated  many  other  stories 
than  these,  of  varying  degrees  of  villainy,  but 
the  foregoing  are  the  principal  ones,  and  con- 
stitute the  stock-in-trade  of  the  preachers  who 


92        "converting"  colonel  ingersoll. 

write  sermons  on  the  Colonel.  Congregations 
all  over  the  country  are  periodically  regaled 
with  them,  from  West  to  East,  and  the  listeners 
go  from  the  church  with  great  admiration  of  the 
boldness  of  their  pastor  in  exposing  so  prom- 
inent and  so  vile  a  man.  Their  faith  in  God  is 
greatly  strengthened  by  it.  They  do  not  know 
that  they  have  been  listening  to  lies.  Perhaps 
even  the  preacher  is  deceived,  but  we  fear  that 
too  often  he  would  not  care  to  be  undeceived. 
If  he  can  keep  his  congregation  from  going  over 
to  Infidelity  by  slandering  its  greatest  exponent 
his  purpose  is  accomplished.  He  has  prevented 
the  destruction  of  his  business,  and  will  reap  his 
reward  here  on  earth. 

"converting"  colonel  ingersoll. 

With  their  great  talent  for  manufacturing 
facts,  of  course  the  Christians  have  had  Mr.  In- 
gersoll converted  several  times.  Every  now 
and  then  a  fairy  tale  to  that  effect  has  been 
printed  by  some  ignorant  but  pious  editor  in 
his  obscure  sheet,  and  the  story  has  been  copied 
and  repeated  by  other  ignorant  editors  in  other 
obscure  sheets,  to  be  believed  and  repeated  by 
ignorant  and  obscure  readers  and  preachers  iu 
backwoods  districts  where  the  literature  read  is 
confined  to  Ziori's  Herald  and  the  Bible.  A 
good  sample  of  this  kind  of  conversion  is  the 
one  circulated  some  years  ago  in  England,  and 
commented  upon  by  Colonel  Ingersoll  himself 
as  follows : 


4' 


MB.  hine's  contkibution.  93 

**  Thousands  of  Christians  liave  asked  :  How 
•was  it  possible  for  Christ  and  his  apostles  to 
deceive  the  people  of  Jerusalem  ?  How  came 
the  miracles  to  be  believed?  Who  had  the  im- 
pudence to  say  that  lepers  had  been  cleansed, 
and  that  the  dead  had  been  raised  ?  How  could 
such  impostors  have  escaped  exposure? 

"I  ask:  How  did  Mohammed  deceive  the 
people  of  Mecca  ?  How  has  the  Catholic 
church  imposed  upon  millions  of  people  ?  Who 
can  account  for  the  success  of  falsehood? 

"Millions  of  people  are  directly  interested 
in  the  false.  They  live  by  lying.  To  deceive  is 
the  business  of  their  lives.  Truth  is  a  cripple  ; 
lies  have  wings.  It  is  almost  impossible  to 
overtake,  and  kill,  and  bury  a  lie.  If  you  do, 
some  one  will  erect  a  monument  over  the  grave, 
and  the  lie  is  born  again  as  an  epitaph.  Let 
me  give  you  a  case  in  point. 

"A  few  days  ago  the  Matlock  Begister,  a 
paper  published  in  England,  printed  the  fol- 
lowing : 

'CONVERSION  OF  THE  ARCH   ATHEIST. 

'Mr.  Isaac  Loveland,  of  Shoreham,  desires 
us  to  insert  the  following  : 
"  1  Grove-road,  St.  John's  Wood,  London, 
Nov.  27,  1886. 

"  Dear  Mr.  Loveland  :  A  day  or  two  since  I 
received  from  Mr.  Hine  the  exhilarating  intelli- 
gence that  through  his  lectures  on  the  '  Identity 
of  the  British  Nation  with  Lost  Israel,'  in  Can- 
ada and  the  United  States,  that  Col.  Bob  Iiiger- 
soll,  the  arch  Atheist,  has  been  converted  to 
Christianity,  and  has  joined  the  Episcopal 
church.  Praise  the  Lord  !  !  !  Five  thousand  of 
liis  followers  have  been  ivon  for  Christ  through 
Mr.  Hine's  grand  mission  work,  the  other  side 


94  FOR  MISSIONAIiY  USES.  ' 

of  the  Atlantic.  The  Colonel's  cousin,  the 
Kev.  Mr.  Ingersoll,  wrote  Mr.  Hine  soon  after 
he  began  lecturing  in  America,  informing  him 
that  his  lectures  had  made  a  great  impression 
on  the  Colonel  and  other  Atheists.  I  noted  it 
at  the  time  in  the  Messenger.  Bradlaugh  will 
yet  be  converted ;  his  brother  has  been,  and  has 
joined  a  British  Israel  Identity  Association. 
This  is  progress,  and  shows  what  an  energetic, 
determined  man  (like  Mr.  Hine)  who  is  earnest 
in  his  faith  can  do.     Very  faithfully  yours, 

"  H.  HODSON  EUGG."  ' 

"How  can  we  account  for  an  article  like  that? 
Who  made  up  this  story  ?  Who  had  the  impu- 
dence to  publish  it? 

"As  a  matter  of  fact,  I  never  saw  Mr.  Hine, 
never  heard  of  him  until  this  extract  was  re- 
ceived by  me  in  the  month  of  December.  I 
never  read  a  word  about  the  *  Identity  of  Lost 
Israel  with  the  British  Nation.'  It  is  a  question 
in  which  I  never  had,  and  never  expect  to  have, 
the  slightest  possible  interest. 

"Nothing  can  be  more  preposterous  than 
that  the  Englishman,  in  whose  veins  can  be 
found  the  blood  of  the  Saxon,  the  Dane,  the 
Norman,  the  Pict,  the  Scot,  and  the  Celt,  is  the 
descendant  of  'Abraham,  Isaac,  and  Jacob.' 
The  English  language  does  not  bear  the  remot- 
est resemblance  to  the  Hebrew,  and  yet  it  is 
claimed  by  the  lie  v.  Hodson  Rugg  that  not  only 
myself,  but  five  thousand  other  Atheists,  were 
converted  by  the  Eev.  Mr.  Hine,  because  of  his 
theory  that  Englishmen  and  Americans  are  sim- 
ply Jews  in  disguise. 

"  This  letter,  in  my  judgment,  was  published 
to  be  used  by  missionaries  in  China,  Japan, 
India,  and  Africa." 


INGERSOLL  AND  THE  "  OBSERVER."      95 

To  show  bow  hard  it  is  to  kill  one  of  these 
lies  about  Colonel  Ingersoll,  we  quote  his  words 
concerning  the  controversy  he  had  with  the 
Observer,  the  Presbyterian  organ  of  this  city, 
about  the  death  of  Thomas  Paine  : 

"  A  few  years  ago  I  had  a  little  controversy 
with  the  editor  of  the  New  York  Observer,  the 
Rev.  Ireneus  Prime  (who  is  now  supposed  to  be 
in  heaven  enjoying  the  bliss  of  seeing  Infidels 
in  hell),  as  to  whether  Thomas  Paine  recanted 
his  religious  opinions.  I  offered  to  deposit  a 
thousand  dollars  for  the  benefit  of  a  charity  if 
the  reverend  doctor  would  substantiate  the 
charge  that  Paine  recanted.  I  forced  the  New 
York  Observer  to  admit  that  Paine  did  not  re- 
cant, and  compelled  that  paper  to  say  that 
'Thomas  Paine  died  a  blaspheming  Infidel.' 

"  A  few  months  afterward  an  English  paper 
was  sent  to  me — a  religious  paper — and  in  that 
paper  was  a  statement  to  the  effect  that  the 
editor  of  the  New  York  Observer  had  claimed 
that  Paine  recanted  ;  that  I  had  offered  to  give 
a  thousand  dollars  to  any  charity  that  Mr.  Prime 
might  select,  if  he  would  establish  the  fact  that 
Paine  did  recant ;  and  that  so  overwhelming  was 
the  testimony  brought  forward  by  Mr.  Prime  that 
I  admitted  that  Paine  did  recant,  and  paid  the 
thousand  dollars. 

"  This  is  another  instance  of  what  might  be 
called  the  truth  of  history. 

"  I  wrote  to  the  editor  of  that  paper,  telling 
the  exact  facts,  and  offering  him  advertising 
rates  to  publish  the  denial,  and  in  addition 
stated  that  if  he  would  send  me  a  copy  of  his 
paper  with  the  denial,  I  would  send  him  $25  for 
his  trouble.  I  received  no  reply,  and  the  lie  is 
in  all  probability  still  on  its  travels,  going  from 


96  INGERSOLL  AND  THE  ENDEA.V0RER8. 

Sunday-Scliool  to  Sunday-school,  from  pulpit 
to  pulpit,  from  hypocrite  to  savage — that  is  to 
say,  from  missionary  to  Hottentot — without  the 
slipjhtest  evidence  of  fatigue — fresh  and  strong, 
and  in  its  cheeks  the  roses  and  lilies  of  perfect 
health." 

The  latest  attempt  to  convert  Mr.  Ingersoll 
was  made  by  the  Christian  Endeavorers  in  the 
fall  of  1895.  Had  it  not  been  so  public,  and  its 
failure  so  widely  noticed  by  the  great  dailies 
of  the  country,  the  little  obscure  sheets  would 
ere  this  have  set  it  down  as  a  fact  that  he 
was  converted — and  probably  some  of  them  will 
do  so  yet.  The  attempt  was  made  in  the  form 
of  a  prayer  simultaneously  uttered  by  all  the 
Endeavorers,  many  thousands  in  number.  A 
few  weeks  after  the  prayer,  the  New  York  Sun 
interviewed  Mr.  Ingersoll  as  to  its  effect.  We 
subjoin  the  interview : 

"  Col.  Robert  G.  Ingersoll  found  a  heavy  mail 
from  the  Christian  Endeavorers  who  have  been 
praying  for  him  in  convention  when  he  returned 
home  from  his  Western  trip,  and  he  said  last 
night  to  the  Sun  reporter  :  '  No,  I  have  not  been 
converted  by  their  prayers,  I  am  glad  to  say, 
and  there  is  no  occasion  for  taking  a  "  before 
and  after  "  picture  of  me.' 

"  '  Why  glad  ?  '  asked  the  Sun  reporter. 

*' '  I  want  to  finish  my  days  without  the  con- 
solation of  a  hell,'  said  the  Colonel,  looking 
very  solemn,  though  there  is  nothing  in  his 
appearance  to  indicate  that  his  days  are  likely 
to  be  finished  for  half  a  century  or  more. 


INGERSOLL  AND  THE  ENDEAVOREES.     97 

"  '  Did  it  annoy  you  to  have  the  Eudeavorers 
take  such  a  public  interest  in  your  conversion  ?  ' 

"  '  Dear  me,  no,'  said  Colonel  lugersoU.  '  They 
meant  it  kindly  and  for  my  good.  The  onl>^ 
difference  of  opinion  that  we  have  is  that  I 
believe  that  this  world  is  natural  and  they  be- 
lieve it  is  supernatural,  something  that  was 
constructed  by  sleight-of-hand,  by  some  one  up 
in  the  clouds.  That  is  aU.'  And  Colonel  In- 
gersoll  settled  back  comfortably  in  his  chair,  as 
if  the  difference  of  opinion  were  too  trifling  to 
discuss. 

"  *  But  what  if  you  should  be  converted  ?  ' 
suggested  the  Sun  reporter.  An  expression  of 
mock  terror  spread  over  the  Colonel's  rosy 
cheeks  as  he  replied  : 

"  '  That  would  be  a  dreadful  misfortune,  and 
I  should  be  unhappy  all  the  rest  of  my  life.' 

"  'If  you  had  absolute  faith  in  the  Christian 
religion,  would  it  make  you  unhappy  ?  ' 

"  '  It  certainly  would.  How  could  it  be  other- 
wise? A  man  of  intelligence  who  is  a  Chris- 
tian and  who  has  imagination  couldn't  help  but 
be  unhappy.  Just  tliink  of  the  hell  that  it 
holds  out.  If  he  is  a  Christian  he  must  believe 
that  the  people  whom  he  knows  and  loves  on 
earth  are  to  be  separated  in  death,  and  some 
are  to  go  to  hell  and  some  are  to  go  to  heaven, 
and  they  are  to  stay  there  forever.  It  would 
make  me  very  unhappv  to  believe  that.  This 
is  to  be  for  eternity.  I  have  asked  many  Chris- 
tian people,  "  What  are  you  going  to  do  in 
heaven  ?  "  and  they  reply  that  they  are  going 
to  be  happy  there.  '  But  how  are  you  goiug 
to  be  happy?"  I  ask.  Are  they  just  going  to 
do  nothing  and  be  happy,  or  are  they  going  to 
get  their  happiness  from  playing  on  golden 
harps  all  the  time?  Are  they  going  to  be 
happy  knowing  that  some  of  those  whom  they 


98  INGEKSOLL  AND   THE   ENDEAV0RER8. 

loved  here  are  suffering  eternal  tortures  in  hell  ? 
I  couldn't  be  happy  under  those  circumstances.* 

"  '  Admitting  the  truth  of  the  Christian  re- 
ligion, wouldn't  you  wish  to  be  converted?' 

"  '  Why,  if  there  is  some  one  up  in  the  clouds 
to  whom  these  people  who  pray  give  advice  and 
instruction  how  things  should  be  run  down 
here,  I  certainly  want  to  know  about  it.  But, 
you  see,  I  don't  believe  there  is.  I  should  very 
much  dislike  to  accept  the  Christian  religion 
and  all  that  it  holds  out  even  to  those  who  be- 
lieve it  and  live  by  it.' 

"  Colonel  Ingersoll  hadn't  time  to  read  all  of 
the  hundred  or  more  letters  that  were  waiting 
for  him,  and  the  two  or  three  that  he  had 
opened  struck  him  as  very  foolish.  One  writer 
made  a  violent  attack  on  the  Colonel  and 
another  wrote  in  a  kindly,  argumentative  way. 
Neither  produced  any  effect,  however." 

When  Colonel  Ingersoll  returned  from  a  lec- 
ture trip  on  Jan.  20,  1896,  he  was  interviewed 
by  a  reporter  for  the  Evening  Sun,  which  printed 
the  following  in  its  issue  of  Jan.  21st : 

"  Colonel  Ingersoll  was  found  at  his  home, 
Madison  avenue,  this  morning,  and  he  talked 
freely  of  his  trip.  He  was  asked  whether  the 
prayers  of  the  Christian  Endeavorers  had  had 
any  effect  on  his  belief  on  religious  matters. 
He  was  silent  awhile  as  if  carefully  considering 
his  reply.     Then  he  said  : 

"  '  I  take  it  for  granted  that  the  people  who 
prayed  for  me  are  my  friends,  and  that  they 
really  want  their  God  to  convert  me.  Of  course, 
no  prayer  was  ever  answered.  Prayer  may  be  a 
kind  of  relief  to  the  one  who  prays,  but  whether 
the    prayer  is  addressed  to  a   stone  god  or  a 


INGERSOLL   AND  THE   ENDEAVOREKS.  99 

wooden  one,  to  a  stuffed  snake  or  a  totem,  or 
to  Jehovah,  the  result  is  the  same.  All  these 
gods  answer  prayers  precisely  the  same.  It  may 
be  that  sometimes  the  thing  prayed  for  has 
happened,  but  it  would  have  happened  had  the 
prayer  been  exactly  the  other  way. 

" '  I  do  not  think  that  the  prayers  have  af- 
fected me.  I  believe  that  I  have  as  much  sense, 
as  good  judgment  now,  as  before  the  prayers 
were  made,  and  that  I  am  as  much  opposed  to 
orthodox  savagery  as  I  was  before  the  prayers 
were  made. 

"  *  I  cannot  be  converted  unless  my  brain  is 
changed  or  weakened ;  unless  my  credulity  is 
increased  and  my  reasoning  powers  weakened. 
At  the  same  time  I  am  much  obliged  for  the 
prayers.  I  feel  toward  those  who  prayed  for 
me  as  the  girl  did  toward  the  young  man  who 
squeezed  her  hand.  She  said  :  '  It  pleases  him 
and  doesn't  hurt  me.'  " 

Commenting  upon  this  endeavor  of  the  En- 
deavorers,  the  great  illustrated  journal  Judge, 
of  New  York,  in  its  Christmas  number,  said  : 

"  "We  doubt  if  there  are  many  Christians  who 
lead  a  purer  life  than  Colonel  Ingersoll,  or 
whose  principles  involve  more  of  justice  and 
humanity.  He  won't  say  he  knows  what  he 
cannot  positively  know.  The  praying  that  has 
been  done  for  him  may  be  looked  upon  either 
as  a  kindness  or  as  an  impertinence;  but  surely 
there  is  no  man  who  enters  more  fully  into  the 
joyousness  and  thoughtfulness  of  the  Christmas 
season,  and  that  of  itself  partakes  of  the  es- 
sence of  Christianity.  He  professes  nothing, 
but  despite  his  doubt  he  acts  magnificently." 


100  INGERSOLL  AND   THE   ENDEAVORERS. 

We  will  not  stop  to  show  that  the  allegation 
of  the  Judge  that  goodness  is  the  essence  of 
Christianity  is  untrue,  for  that  apology  has 
been  controverted  so  many  times  that  no  one 
now  seriously  alleges  it  in  defense  of  faith,  and 
the  Judge  threw  it  in  evidently  as  a  peace  offer- 
ing to  those  pious  ones  who  might  otherwise 
be  tempted  to  stop  their  subscriptions  because 
it  said  a  good  word  for  an  Infidel.  We  quote 
its  words  to  show  what  those  who  know  Colonel 
Ingersoll  know  of  him. 

Among  other  papers  which  devoted  consid- 
erable space  to  this  attempt  of  the  Endeavorers 
to  convert  Colonel  Ingersoll  was  the  Boston 
Advertiser,  which  published  in  its  issue  of 
Dec.  3, 1895,  several  interviews  had  with  clergy- 
men in  regard  to  it.     One  of  them  was  this  : 

*'  Eev.  Dr.  Hamilton,  of  the  Congregational 
church,  Roxbury,  is  very  much  interested  in 
Colonel  Ingersoll's  welfare,  and  believes  that 
the  time  is  not  far  distant  when  he  will  be 
numbered  among  the  followers  of  Christ,  and 
will  then  be  as  radical  a  Christian  as  he  is  now 
an  Infidel. 

"  '  With  regard  to  a  public  attempt  to  convert 
him  by  prayer,'  said  he,  '  of  course  we  do  not 
wish  to  stand  on  the  corners  that  we  may  be 
seen  of  men,  yet  I  think  that  there  is  much 
benefit  to  be  derived  from  public  prayer. 

"  '  To  tell  the  truth,'  he  continued,"  *  I  do  not 
think  that  Colonel  Bob  believes  all  that  he 
preaches  ;  and  I  consider  that  he  talks  simply 
to  catch  the  dollars.  A  short  time  ago,  when 
he  was  in   Boston,   he  stopped  at  the  Parker 


A   CIRCUMSTANTIAL  LIE.  101 

House,  and  while  there  was  visited  by  a  friend 
of  mine  ;  and  both  talked  over  the  subject  of 
religion.  As  the  latter  was  about  to  leave  he 
knelt  down  and  prayed  earnestly  for  Ingersoll ; 
and  before  he  had  ended,  the  latter  stood  be- 
fore him  with  his  head  bowed  and  enwrapped 
in  thought.  I  quote  this  simply  to  show  that 
the  heart  of  the  Infidel  is  not  as  hard  as  it 
might  be.'  " 

This,  it  will  be  noticed,  is  a  circumstantial, 
direct  statement  of  what  purports  to  have  been 
an  actual  occurrence.  And  yet  it  is  a  falsehood, 
absolutely,  a  baseless  fabrication,  as  the  follow- 
ing letter  to  the  editor  of  the  Advertiser  shows  : 

"  New  York,  Dec.  30. 
"  To  THE  Editor  op  the  Advertiser :  Dr. 
Hamilton  has  been  deceived  by  his  friend.  No 
man  or  woman  ever  called  on  me  at  the  Parker 
House,  or  at  any  other  house,  and  prayed  for 
me  in  my  presence  or  with  my  knowledge. 
There  is  not  one  word  of  truth  in  the  story. 
"Yours  truly,  R.  G.  Ingersoll." 

The  very  latest  story  of  the  Colonel's  con- 
version to  Christianity  (that  is,  up  to  this  date, 
February  5, 1896)  is  told  in  the  following,  which 
was  sent  as  a  special  dispatch  to  all  the  promi- 
nent papers  of  the  country,  and  copied  from 
them  into  the  obscure  secular  and  religious 
sheets,  and  it  is  probably  believed  in  thousands 
of  Christian  homes  to-day  that  Colonel  Inger- 
soll has  "  renounced  "  his  Infidelity  and  joined 
the  church  : 


102  THE   KALAMAZOO   INCIDENT. 

"Kalamazoo,  Mich.,  Jan.  11. — Eobert  G.  In- 
gersoll,  during  his  lecture  on  'Lincoln'  here 
last  night,  created  a  sensation.  In  the  middle 
of  his  discourse  he  stopped  and  told  his  audi- 
ence that  he  desired  to  relate  the  incidents  of 
the  afternoon.  Then  he  spoke  of  his  visit  to 
the  People's  church,  and  said  : 

"  '  It  is  the  grandest  thing  in  your  state,  if 
not  in  the  whole  United  States.  If  there  were 
a  similar  church  near  my  home  I  would  join  it, 
if  its  members  would  permit  me.' 

"  Nothing  in  his  whole  lecture  caused  such  a 
stir  as  this,  and  when  some  of  his  friends  es- 
corted him  to  the  hotel  they  asked  him  if  he 
was  in  earnest  about  the  statement,  and  he  is 
said  to  have  replied  that  he  was  very  much  in 
earnest,  and  if  opportunity  ever  was  given  him 
of  joining  such  a  church  he  would  seize  it 
quickly. 

"  It  now  seems  that  when  the  Colonel  arrived 
in  Kalamazoo  he  was  taken  to  visit  the  People's 
church,  of  which  Miss  Caroline  J.  Bartlett  is 
the  pastor.  This  church  was  rendered  possible 
by  the  liberality  of  Silas  Hubbard,  who  be- 
queathed it  a  large  sum  of  money.  It  is  insti- 
tutional in  its  plan,  and  is  built  more  like  a 
home  than  an  ordinary  church.  It  has  recep- 
tion rooms  for  social  gatherings,  libraries, 
rooms  for  study,  a  dining  room,  a  kitchen,  and 
equipments  of  this  kind.  It  is  utterly  unde- 
nominational, and  has  no  creed  whatever. 

"  Colonel  lugersoU  was  conducted  through 
the  various  departments,  and  was  more  than 
pleased  while  at  the  church,  but  nobody  sup- 
posed that  he  would  mention  it  in  his  dis- 
course. 

"  The  prominent  members  of  the  church  are 
enthusiastic  to-night,  and  say  they  believe  that 


THE  people's  church.  103 

through  the  People's  Church  of  Kalamazoo  the 
great  Agnostic  will  be  led  to  joining  the  church. 
They  say  they  see  in  his  words  the  answer  to 
the  thousands  of  prayers  sent  up  by  the  Chris- 
tian Endeavor  members  all  over  the  country. 
They  say  that  while  no  organized  effort  has 
been  made  to  get  Colonel  Ingersoll  to  join  the 
church,  yet  such  an  effort  will  be  made  in  the 
near  future.  They  also  profess  to  believe  that 
the  great  disciple  of  Agnosticism  will  deliver  no 
more  Agnostic  lectures." 

It  is  needless  to  say  that  the  tale  is  as  much 
a  myth,  so  far  as  the  "  conversion  "  is  concerned, 
as  the  story  of  Jack  and  the  Beanstalk,  or  the 
legend  of  the  Gadarene  pigs  and  the  devils. 
Regarding  it  Colonel  Ingersoll  wrote  to  the 
compiler  of  these  pages  : 

''  New  York,  Jan.  23,  1896. 

"  My  Dear  Mr.  Macdonald  :  So  many  foolish 
things  have  been  published  about  my  visit  to 
the  '  People's  church '  at  Kalamazoo  that  it 
occurred  to  me,  for  the  enlightenment  of  our 
friends,  to  tell  you  the  story. 

"  A  few  days  ago,  at  the  request  of  the  pas- 
tor, Miss  Caroline  J.  Bartlett,  I  visited  the 
People's  church.  This  church  has  no  creed, 
and  those  who  support  it  may,  or  may  not,  be 
believers  in  the  existence  of  God,  the  inspiration 
of  the  Bible,  or  the  immortality  of  the  soul. 
This  church  has  nothing  to  do  with  the  super- 
natural, or  miraculous.  It  is  for  the  good  of 
people  in  this  world — to  increase  happiness 
this  side  of  the  tomb.  It  desires  to  increase 
knowledge,  to  develop  the  brain,  to  give  light 
and  heat  and  soil  to  all  the  seeds  of  good  that 


104  THE  people's  church. 

can  be  found  within  the  human  heart.  It  takes 
no  interest  in  the  miracles  of  if:;norant  antiquity, 
but  is  delighted  with  tlie  truths  of  our  day  and 
the  facts  of  all  time.  It  teaches  the  little  chil- 
dren of  the  poor,  reforms  abuses,  protects  the 
weak,  and  sides  with  the  suffering  and  unfor- 
tunate. Its  only  object  is  to  do  good — to  add 
to  the  sum  of  happiness.  It  does  not  ask  you 
to  believe  right,  but  to  do  right.  The  pastor 
of  this  church  is  earnest,  enthusiastic,  and  self- 
sacrificing.  The  dream  of  her  heart,  the  ambi- 
tion of  her  soul,  is  to  do  good.  Of  course  the 
orthodox  ministers  are  her  enemies  and  de- 
nounce her  work  as  contrary  to  the  religion  of 
Christ.  These  ministers  may  be  right,  and  yet 
I  think  her  work  is  good,  and  that  she  will 
accomplish  more  for  the  benefit  of  man  than  all 
the  orthodox  churches  in  the  world. 

"  Yours  always,  K.  G.  Ingersoll." 

In  the  New  York  Evening  Sun  of  January  21st 
was  this  interview  had  with  Mr.  Ingersoll : 

"  There  have  been  reports  in  the  East  that 
while  in  Kalamazoo  Colonel  Ingersoll  visited  a 
church  which  was  organized  and  managed  by  a 
woman,  and  that  he  was  so  pleased  with  the 
services  that  he  publicly  stated  that  if  he  ever 
joined  a  church  he  would  join  one  like  that. 
The  Colonel  laughed  when  he  heard  of  the 
rumor,  and  quickly  said : 

"  '  I  visited  what  is  called  the  People's  church 
at  Kalamazoo,  and  was  greatly  pleased  with  it. 
This  church  has  no  creed.  No  belief  is  re- 
quired. It  makes  no  difference  whether  a 
person  believes  in  God  or  not,  or  in  the  inspira- 
tion of  the  Bible.  The  object  is  to  make  people 
better,  nobler,  more  charitable— to  educate  the 


THE  people's  church.  105 

little  children  of  the  poor — to  correct  the  abuses 
and  errors  of  the  time — to  make  people  happy 
in  this  world.  This  church  cares  nothincj 
about  the  wonders  and  miracles  of  the  past — 
does  not  care  whether  the  whale  swallowed 
Jonah,  or  Jonah  the  whale.  It  turns  its  atten- 
tion to  the  present,  and  wishes  to  develop  the 
brain,  strengthen  the  body,  and  civilize  the 
heart. 

"  '  The  orthodox  churches  do  no  good.  The 
people  are  getting  tired  of  hearing  about  Abra- 
ham, Isaac,  and  Jacob,  and  about  the  consola- 
tions of  hell,  and  I  believe  that  in  a  few  years 
there  will  be  hundreds  of  churches  like  the 
"  People's  church  "  all  over  this  country.' 

"  '  Is  there  any  possibility  of  you  or  any- 
body else  organizing  such  an  institution  in  New 
York  ? '  was  asked. 

"  '  I  do  not  know.  I  have  not  heard  of  such 
a  movement  being  on  foot  as  yet,'  was  the  reply. 

"  As  to  the  results  of  his  tour  and  teachings 
Colonel  IngersoU  said : 

"  I  have  to  judge  by  my  experience.  When  I 
was  a  young  man  I  was  the  only  "Infidel"  in 
the  town  where  I  lived.  Now  there  are  millions 
of  Freethinkers  in  this  country.  People  are 
changing  every  day.  When  I  commenced  lec- 
turing there  were  very  few  women  in  the 
audiences.  Now  they  are  often  in  the  majority. 
I  sometimes  think  that  the  women  are  thinking 
more  than  the  men. 

"  *  Yes,  I  believe  that  what  I  say  has  a  good 
deal  of  eflfect,  and  the  answers  that  the  preach- 
ers make  help  the  cause  of  Freethought  ;  their 
answers  are  so  absurd,  lame,  malicious,  and 
idiotic,  that  thousands  conclude  that  there  are 
no  arcfuments  in  favor  of  orthodox  Christianity. 

"  *  If  the  preachers  wish  to  hold  their  congre- 


106  MISS  bartlett's  testimony. 

gations    they  must  drop  tbeir    absurdities  and 
preach  better  sense.'  " 

If  this  is  not  enough,  here  is  the  denial  of 
the  story  by  the  minister  of  the  church  in 
question  • 

"  Kalamazoo,  Mich.,  Jan.  23, 1896. 
"  Mr.  E.  M.  Macdonald,  Editor  The  Truth 
Seeker,  New  York,  N.  Y. — Dear  Sir :  Keplying 
to  your  letter  of  January  19th,  I  inclose  printed 
statement  of  the  facts  concerning  Colonel  In- 
gersoll's  visit  to  this  city,  and  his  commenda- 
tion of  the  People's  church.  I  do  not  understand 
that  Colonel  IngersoU  is  converted  to  anything. 
He  has  simply  found  a  church  which  offers 
fellowship  to  any  honest  man  entirely  irre- 
spective of  belief.  I  do  not  indorse  Colonel 
Ingersoll's  theological  views,  nor  he  mine.  That 
is  no  reason  why  we  could  not  work  together 
for  the  things  of  practical  righteousness  upon 
which  we  are  agreed.  The  Bond  of  Union  of 
the  People's  church  is  a  statement  of  purpose, 
not  a  declaration  of  theological  helief. 

"  Sincerely,        Caroline  J.  Bartlett, 

"  Minister  of  People's  Church." 

The  printed  statement  to  which  Miss  Bart- 
lett alludes  includes  another  letter  from  Colonel 
IngersoU,  which,  as  it  describes  the  church,  we 
print.  It  was  written  to  the  New  York  Journal, 
which  had  heard  of  the  Colonel's  alleged  con- 
version and  had  telegraphed  him  for  a  state- 
ment in  regard  thereto.  It  was  written  only 
two  days  after  the  alleged  event,  while  Colonel 
IngersoU  was  in  the  field,  delivering  his  famous 
anti-Christian  lectures  : 


OBJECTS   OF  THE   PEOPLE'S  OHUECH.  107 

"  Toledo,  Ohio,  Jan.  12,  1896. 

"  To  the  Editor  of  the  Journal :  At  Kala- 
mazoo, day  before  yesterday,  I  was  shown  over 
the  People's  church  by  Miss  Caroline  J.  Bart- 
lett,  the  pastor.  This  church  has  no  creed. 
All  are  welcome  whatever  their  belief  may  be. 
The  doors  are  open  to  Jews,  Infidels,  Agnostics, 
Atheists,  and  even  to  orthodox  Christians. 

"  The  object  of  this  church  is  to  make  people 
better,  kinder,  and  nearer  just  by  developing 
the  brain  and  civilizing  the  heart.  The  church 
is  a  character  builder.  It  wants  to  do  some- 
thing for  this  world,  to  help  the  poor,  educate 
the  ignorant,  and  do  away  with  crime. 

"  This  church  building  is  open  all  the  week. 
There  is  a  kindergarten,  where  sixty  poor  chil- 
dren are  taught  and  given  a  dinner  every  day. 
There  is  also  a  gymnasium  for  girls  and  boys, 
fine  baths,  a  good  kitchen,  rooms  for  parties 
and  concerts.  The  auditorium  is  beautiful,  will 
seat  six  or  seven  hundred,  and  there  is  a  fine 
organ. 

"  Miss  Bartlett,  the  pastor,  is  a  remarkable 
person.  She  has  intelligence  of  the  highest 
order,  great  industry,  and  that  divine  thing 
called  enthusiasm.     I  like  that  church. 

"K  G.  Ingersoll." 

The  advertisement  of  itself  which  the  church 
makes  on  its  official  program,  sent  to  the  writer 
by  the  minister,  Miss  Bartlett,  is  as  follows  : 

"  The  People's  church  is  as  absolutely  unsec- 
tarian  in  fact  as  it  is  in  name.  It  leaves  each 
person  free  to  choose  his  own  religious  belief, 
while  seeking  to  unite  all  upon  the  lines  of 
endeavor  after  right  living,  holding  that  the 
truest  religious  faith  must  grow  out  of  the  most 


108  AN   UNORTHODOX   INSTITUTION. 

faithful  life.  Following  is  the  simple  '  Bond  of 
Union,'  signing  which  constitutes  one  a  member 
of  the  People's  church. 

"  '  Earnestly  desiring  to  develop  in  ourselves, 
and  in  the  world,  honest,  reverent  thought, 
faithfulness  to  our  highest  conceptions  of  right 
living,  the  spirit  of  love  and  service  to  our 
fellow  men,  and  allegiance  towards  all  the  in- 
terests of  morality  and  religion  as  interpreted 
by  the  growing  thought  and  purest  lives  of 
humanity,  we  join  ourselves  together,  hoping  to 
help  one  another  in  all  good  things,  and  to  ad- 
vance the  cause  of  pure  and  practical  religion 
in  the  community  ;  basing  our  union  upon  no 
creedal  test,  but  upon  the  purpose  herein  ex- 
pressed, and  welcoming  all  who  wish  to  join  us 
to  help  establish  truth,  righteousness,  and  love 
in  the  world.' " 

It  will  be  seen  that  the  People's  church  is 
not  a  "  church "  at  all,  but  an  association  of 
people  for  humanitarian  purposes.  In  the 
printed  matter  which  the  minister  sent  us  is 
this  paragraph : 

"The  People's  church  is  not  regarded  as 
orthodox  by  members  of  the  Catholic,  Episco- 
pal, or  evangelical  churches,  hut  it  is  such  a  long 
step  nearer  the  ortJwdox  standpoint  than  Colonel 
Inger soil's  Agnosticism  that  the  declaration  loas 
taken  to  mean  all  that  the  hearers  luished  it  to 
mean." 

In  sending  this,  expressly  for  our  information, 
Miss  Bartlett  crossed  out  the  words  which  we 
have  placed  in  italics,  which  indicates  very 
plainly  that   the   declaration  was  not  taken,  by 


EXTENT  OF  THE  "  CONVEESION."      109 

her  at  least,  to  mean  any  such  thing.  Or  else 
that  the  People's  church  is  no  nearer  being  or- 
thodox than  Colonel  Ingersoll's  Agnosticism. 
This  latter  view  finds  support  in  the  utterances 
of  the  religious  press  about  the  church.  A 
typical  church  paper,  the  Wesleyan  Christian 
Advocate,  published  at  Atlanta,  Ga.,  in  its  issue 
of  January  21st,  this  year,  alludes  to  Kalamazoo 
as  the  place  where  "  good  celery  and  sorry 
Christianity  abound,"  and  calls  the  People's 
church  "  a  semi-religious  establishment  in 
which  a  Miss  Bartlett  exercises  and  calls  her- 
self pastor."  The  same  paper  quotes  the  letter 
Colonel  Ingersoll  wrote  to  the  Journal,  and  thus 
comments  : 

"And  this  is  the  extent  of  his  conversion! 
He  is  willing  to  join  a  church  provided  it  be- 
lieves nothing,  aims  at  a  vague  sort  of  humani- 
tarianism,  and  the  instruments  of  which  are  a 
kitchen,  a  kindergarten,  a  gymnasium,  and  a 
bath  tub  ! 

"  Victuals,  entertainments,  muscular  develop- 
ment, and  a  cake  of  soap  are  the  ingredients  of 
the  gospel  he  accepts  ! 

"  It  appears  to  us  that  the  public  will  find 
here,  not  the  conversion  of  the  skeptic,  but  the 
perversion  of  'the  People's  church.' 

"  Indeed,  it  has  come  to  pass  in  this  country 
that  any  gang  which  gets  together  on  Sunday 
and  listens  to  a  harangue,  forthwith  sets  up  a 
claim  to  be  called  a  church,  especially  if  it 
makes  loud  profession  of  humanitarianism. 
Even  '  Christian  Science,'  in  which  there  is  no 
science  and  no  Christianity,  sets  up  churchly 
pretensions.     And  so  it  goes,  folly  running  the 


110  AN  EVANGELISnO   IMPOSTOR. 

entire  scale  of  sensationalism  to  cut  a  figure  in 
the  public  prints. 

"  But,  beloved,  *  try  the  spirits,  whether  they 
are  of  God ;  because  many  false  prophets  are 
gone  out  into  the  world.'  'Every  spirit  which 
confesseth  not  that  Jesus  has  come  in  the  flesh, 
is  not  of  God.'  That  is  what  St.  John  says,  and 
that  is  the  truth." 

And  so  it  is  settled  that  if  the  institution  at 
Kalamazoo  is  a  church  at  all,  it  is  not  a  Chris- 
tian church  ;  and  that  is  why  Colonel  Ingersoll 
could  join  it  without  straining  his  principles. 

But  in  all  this  talk  about  the  Colonel's  con- 
version, there  is  one  fact  overlooked  by  all — 
and  that  is,  that  Colonel  Ingersoll  goes  right 
along  keeping  his  lecture  engagements  to  speak 
against  Christianity.  Would  he  do  that  if  he 
had  been  "  converted  ?  "  How  do  those  who 
believe  he  "experienced  a  change  of  heart"  ex- 
plain this  ? 

Another  tale  for  the  marines,  which  really  has 
no  place  here  at  all,  but  which  we  notice  be- 
cause some  people  seem  to  think  that  if  some 
distant  relative  of  the  Colonel's  can  be  got  to 
join  a  church,  why,  that  settles  the  Colonel's 
arguments  !  So  absurd  is  the  reasoning  of  the 
average  Christian  !  In  1892,  a  man  calling  him- 
self Samuel  Ingersoll,  gave  out,  at  Northport, 
L.  I.,  that  he  was  a  cousin  to  Mr.  Ingersoll,  but 
nevertheless  had  become  converted  and  impelled 
to  take  up  the  work  of  an  evangelist.  His 
stock-in-trade,  by  which  he  advertised  himself 
and  obtained  engagements,  was  the  alleged  fact 


THE   OBSCENITY  CHARGE.  Ill 

that  he  was  a  cousin  to  Mr.  Ingersoll.  The 
Colonel's  attention  having  been  called  to  him 
and  bis  assertion,  he  wrote  the  following  letter : 

"New  York,  Sept  11,  1892. 
"James  E.  Larmer,   Esq. — My   Dear  Sir:    I 
have  no  cousin,  so  far  as  I  know,  by  the  name 
of  Samuel   Ingersoll.     I   never    heard   of    him 
until  I  read  your  letter.     Yours  truly, 

"R.  G.  Ingersoll." 

THE  CHARGE  THAT  MR.    INGERSOLL    DEFENDED  THE 
CIRCULATION  OP  OBSCENE   LITERATURE. 

One  of  the  charges  most  persistently  made 
against  Colonel  Ingersoll  is  that  during  and 
after  the  trial  of  D.  M.  Bennett,  persecuted  by 
Anthony  Comstock,  the  Colonel  endeavored  to 
have  the  law  against  sending  obscene  literature 
through  the  mail  repealed.  That  the  charge  is 
maliciously  false  is  fully  shown  by  the  following 
brief  history  of  events  connected  with  the  pros- 
ecution of  D.  M.  Bennett  and  Mr.  IngersoU's 
efforts  in  his  behalf.  It  was  first  printed  in 
The  Truth  Seeker  of  April  7,  1888,  in  reply  to  a 
minister  who  published  a  pamphlet  pretending 
to  convict  Colonel  Ingersoll  in  detail  and  by 
circumstantial  evidence  of  these  charges  : 

"On  Nov.  12,  1877,  D.  M.  Bennett  was  ar- 
rested for  mailing  a  polemical  tract  called  '  An 
Open  Letter  to  Jesus  Christ,*  written  by  himself, 
and  a  scientific  tract  entitled,  '  How  Do  Marsu- 
pials Propagate  ?  '  written  by  Hon.  A.  B.  Brad- 
ford, of  Enon  Yalley,  Pa.  Previously  to  this 
Comstock   had   arrested    E.    H.    Heywood   for 


112  THE   OBSCENITY   CHARGE. 

mailing  *  Cupid's  Yokes.*  Mr.  Heywood  was 
convicted  in  January,  1878  ;  while  in  the  same 
month  Mr.  Bennett's  case  was  dismissed.  In 
the  same  month  Frank  Rivers  also  was  arrested 
for  selling  *  Fruits  of  Philosophy,'  a  scientific 
treatise  obnoxious  to  Comstock  principally  be- 
cause Freethinkers  sold  it.  Mr.  Mendum,  we 
think,  possesses  the  original  plates  in  this 
country,  and  in  England  the  book  was  issued  by 
Charles  Bradlaugh  and  Annie  Besant. 

"  In  Anthony  Comstock's  report  to  his  society 
for  187y,  issued  just  after  these  arrests,  on  page 
7,  occur  these  words  : 

"  *  Another  class  of  publications,  issued  by 
freelovers  and  Freethinkers,  is  in  a  fair  way  of 
being  stamped  out.  The  public  generally  can 
scarcely  be  aware  of  the  extent  that  blasphemy 
and  filth  commingled  have  found  vent  through 
these  varied  channels.  Under  a  plausible  pre- 
tense men  who  raise  a  howl  about  free  press, 
free  speech,  etc.,  ruthlessly  trample  underfoot 
the  most  sacred  things,  breaking  down  the 
altars  of  religion,  bursting  asunder  the  ties  of 
home,  and  seeking  to  overthrow  every  social  re- 
straint.' 

"  Comstock  also  subsequently  repeated  these 
threats  before  an  auxiliary  ecclesiastical  society 
of  Rochester,  saying  that  Infidel  publications 
and  Infidel  tracts  would  soon  be  suppressed. 
Before  another  society  in  Boston  he  referred  to 
the  Investigator  and  Banner  of  lAglit  as  publica- 
tions to  which  he  should  soon  pay  attention, 
and  he  made  another  threat  against  Freethought 
literature  before  his  society  in  St.  Louis. 

"  After  Mr.  Bennett's  arrest  in  1877,  he  printed 
a  petition  to  Congress,  written  by  T.  B.  Wake- 
man,  asking  for  the  repeal  or  modification  of 
Comstock's  law  by  which  he  expected  to  stamp 
out  the   publications   of    Freethinkers.      This 


THE   OBSCENITY   CHARGE.  113 

petition  was  referred  to  the  committee  on  re- 
vision of  the  laws  of  the  House,  who  gave  hear- 
ing to  E.  B.  Foote,  Jr.,  A.  E  Giles,  and  J.  B. 
Wolff  in  its  favor,  and  8amuel  Colgate  and 
Anthony  Comstock  against  it.  On  May  1st  the 
committee  reported  adversely.  Before  the 
committee  Comstock,  on  Saturday,  April  20, 
1878,  said  that  D.  M.  Bennett  published  a  '  vil- 
lainous and  blasphemous  sheet,'  which  ought 
to  be  suppressed.  Mr.  Comstock  said  the  same 
thing  to  two  United  States  senators,  who  agreed 
with  him,  and  agreed  also  to  vote  for  the  reten- 
tion of  the  law.  Now,  if  the  law  did  not  affect 
Infidel  publications,  why  this  argument  and  ap- 
peal to  legislators  to  retain  the  law  on  the 
statute  books  ?  At  this  time,  too,  Comstock 
made  a  threat  to  soon  have  Mr.  Bennett  arrested 
again.  Comstock  also  visited  Mr.  Bennett's 
printers,  threatening  them  with  arrest  if  they 
continued  printing  The  Truth  Seeker.  He  also 
asked  the  American  News  Company  to  stop 
selling  it. 

"  The  connection  of  Mr.  Ingersoll  with  this 
petition  is  soon  explained.  Mr.  Ingersoll  knew 
of  Comstock's  attempts  to  suppress  heresy  by 
means  of  this  law,  and  when  called  upon  by  the 
Washington  committee  in  charge  of  the  peti- 
tion, he  allowed  his  name  to  go  on  the  petition 
for  modification,  but  he  told  them  distinctly  and 
plainly  that  he  was  oiot  in  favor  of  the  repeal  of 
the  law,  as  he  was  willing  and  anxious  that  ob- 
scenity should  be  suppressed  by  all  legal  means. 
His  sentiments  are  best  expressed  by  himself  in 
a  letter  to  the  Boston  Journal.     He  says  : 

"  '  Washington,  March  18,  1878. 
"  *  To  THE  Editor  of  the  Boston   Journal  : 
My  attention  has  been  called  to  the  following 
article  that  recently  appeared  in  your  paper  ; 


114  THE   OBSCENITY  CHARGE. 

"  '  "  Col.  Robert  G.  Ingersoll,  and  others,  feel 
aggrieved  because  Congress,  in  1873,  enacted  a 
law  for  the  suppression  of  obscene  literature, 
and,  believing  it  an  infringement  of  the  rights 
of  certain  citizens,  and  an  effort  to  muzzle  the 
press  and  conscience,  petition  for  its  repeal. 
When  a  man's  conscience  permits  him  to  spread 
broadcast  obscene  literature,  it  is  time  that 
conscience  was  muzzled.  The  law  is  a  terror 
only  to  evil-doers." 

"  '  No  one  wishes  the  repeal  of  any  law  for 
the  suppression  of  obscene  literature.  For  my 
part,  I  wish  all  such  laws  rigidly  enforced.  The 
only  objection  I  have  to  the  law  of  1873  is,  that 
it  has  been  construed,  to  include  books  and 
pamphlets  written  against  the  religion  of  the 
day,  although  containing  nothing  that  can  be 
called  obscene  or  impure.  Certain  religious 
fanatics,  taking  advantage  of  the  word  "  im- 
moral" in  the  law,  have  claimed  that  all  writ- 
ings against  what  they  are  pleased  to  call 
orthodox  religion  are  immoral,  and  such  books 
have  been  seized  and  their  authors  arrested. 
To  this,  and  this  only,  I  object. 

"  '  Your  article  does  me  great  injustice,  and  I 
ask  that  you  will  have  the  kindness  to  publish 
this  note. 

"'From  the  bottom  of  my  heart  I  despise 
the  publishers  of  obscene  literature.  Below 
them  there  is  no  depth  of  filth.  And  I  also 
despise  those  who,  under  the  pretense  of  sup- 
pressing obscene  literature,  endeavor  to  prevent 
honest  and  pure  men  from  writing  and  publish- 
ing honest  and  pure  thoughts.     Yours  truly, 

"  *  B.  G.  Ingersoll.' 

"  This  is  sufficiently  easy  of  comprehension 
for  even  ministers,  but  of  course  they  misrepre- 
sented and  lied  about  the  writer.     From  that 


THE   OBSCENITY   OHARQE.  115 

day  to  this  he  has  been  accused  of  favoring  the 
dissemination  of  obscene  literature.  That  the 
friends  of  Colonel  Ingersoll  may  know  just  how 
infamous  this  is,  we  will  give  a  brief  history  of 
the  repeal  or  modijication  movement. 

"  In  June,  1878,  E.  H.  Heywood  was  sentenced 
to  two  years'  imprisonment  for  mailing  'Cupid's 
Yokes.'  In  August  a  big  indignation  meeting 
was  held  in  Boston  to  protest.  The  repeal  of 
the  law  was  demanded.  On  August  24th,  Mr. 
Bennett,  W.  S.  Bell,  and  Josephine  Tilton  were 
arrested  at  Watkins  for  selling  the  same  book. 
These  prosecutions  never  amounted  to  much 
besides  making  trouble  for  the  defendants.  On 
October  26th  the  National  Liberal  League  held 
its  Congress  in  Syracuse.  At  this  Congress  the 
League  left  the  matter  of  repeal  or  modification 
of  the  laws  open,  taking  no  action  as  an  organ- 
ization, either  way,  but  elected  officers  known 
to  be  in  favor  of  repeal.  On  December  10th, 
Mr.  Bennett  was  again  arrested  for  mailing  the 
book,  *  Cupid's  Yokes.'  He  was  tried,  and  found 
guilty  ;  he  appealed,  the  conviction  was  affirmed, 
and  he  was  sentenced  to  thirteen  months'  im- 
prisonment at  hard  labor. 

"  After  the  trial  Colonel  IngersoU  interposed, 
and  endeavored  to  get  a  pardon  for  Mr.  Bennett, 
who  was  held  in  Ludlow  street  jail  pending 
President  Hayes's  reply.  The  man  who  occu- 
pied the  president's  office  promised  to  pardon 
the  Infidel  editor ;  then  he  went  back  on  his 
word,  and  Mr.  Bennett  served  his  term  of  im- 
prisonment. 

"  Then  preachers  opened  the  sluiceways  of 
vituperation  and  billingsgate  upon  Colonel 
IngersoU  for  having  interceded  for  a  man 
convicted  of  mailing  obscene  literature.  The 
charges  were  as  infamously  false  then  as  they 
are   now,   and   to  show   it,    it    is    only   neces- 


116  THE   OBSCENITY   CHARGE. 

sary  to  quote  Colonel  Ingersoll's  words  during 
the  year  or  two  succeeding,  when  the  Free- 
thinkers and  the  Christians  were  not  only 
opposing  each  other  vigorously,  but  the  Free- 
thinkers themselves  were  divided  on  the  ques- 
tion. In  1879,  while  Mr.  Bennett  was  in  prison, 
a  correspondent  of  the  Nashville,  Tenn.,  Banner 
said  that  the  National  Liberal  League  and 
Colonel  Ingersoll  were  in  favor  of  disseminating 
obscene  literature.  To  this  Colonel  Ingersoll 
replied  in  a  letter  to  a  friend  : 

"  '  1417  G  St.,  Washington,  Aug.  21,  1879. 

"  *  My  Dear  Sir  :  The  article  in  the  Nashville 
Banner  by  "  J.  L."  is  utterly  and  maliciously 
false. 

"  '  A  petition  was  sent  to  Congress  praying 
for  the  repeal  or  modification  of  certain  postal 
laws,  to  the  end  that  the  freedom  of  conscience 
and  of  the  press  should  no  be  abridged. 

"  *  Nobody  holds  in  greater  contempt  than  I 
the  writers,  publishers,  or  dealers  in  obscene 
literature.  One  of  my  objections  to  the  Bible 
is  that  it  contains  hundreds  of  grossly  obscene 
passages  not  fit  to  be  read  by  any  decent  man, 
thousands  of  passages,  in  my  judgment,  cal- 
culated to  corrupt  the  minds  of  youth.  I  hope 
the  time  will  soon  come  when  the  good  sense  of 
the  American  people  will  demand  a  Bible  with 
all  obscene  passages  left  out. 

" '  The  only  reason  a  modification  of  the 
postal  laws  is  necessary  is  that  at  present,  under 
color  of  those  laws,  books  and  pamphlets  are 
excluded  from  the  mails  simply  because  they 
are  considered  heterodox  and  blasphemous.  In 
other  words,  every  man  should  be  allowed  to 
write,  publish,  and  send  through  the  mails  his 
thoughts  upon  any  subject,  expressed  in  a  decent 
and  becoming  manner.     As  to  the  propriety  of 


THE   OBSCENITY  CHAEGE.  117 

giving  anybody  authority  to  overhaul  mails, 
break  seals,  and  read  private  correspondence, 
that  is  another  question. 

" '  Every  minister  and  every  layman  who 
charges  me  with  directly  or  indirectly  favoring 
the  dissemination  of  anything  that  is  impure, 
retails  what  he  knows  to  be  a  willful  and  ma- 
licious lie.     I  remain,     Yours  truly, 

" '  E.  G.  Ingeesoll.' 

"  Three  weeks  after  this  letter  was  written  the 
National  Liberal  League  held  its  third  annual 
Congress  at  Cincinnati.  Colonel  IngersoU  was 
chairman  of  the  committee  on  resolutions  and 
platform  and  unfinished  business  of  the  League. 
One  of  the  subjects  to  be  dealt  with  was  these 
Comstock's  laws.  The  following  are  Colonel 
IngersoUs  remarks  and  the  resolutions  he  pre- 
sented : 

"  *  It  may  be  proper,  before  presenting  the 
resolutions  of  the  committee,  to  say  a  word  in 
explanation.  The  committee  were  charged  with 
the  consideration  of  the  unfinished  business  of 
the  League.  It  seems  that  at  Syracuse  there 
was  a  division  as  to  what  course  should  be 
taken  in  regard  to  the  postal  laws  of  the  United 
States.  These  laws  were  used  as  an  engine  of 
oppression  against  the  free  circulation  of  what 
we  understand  to  be  scientific  literature.  Every 
honest  man  in  this  country  is  in  favor  of  allow- 
ing every  other  human  being  every  right  that 
he  claims  for  himself.  The  majority  at  Syracuse 
were  at  that  time  simply  in  favor  of  the  abso- 
lute repeal  of  those  lasvs,  believing  them  to  be 
unconstitutional — not  because  they  were  in  favor 
of  anything  obscene,  but  because  tliey  were  op- 
posed to  the  mails  of  the  United  States  being 
under  the  espionage  and  bigotry  of  the  church. 
They  therefore  demanded  an  absolute  repeal  of 


118  THE   OBSuENITY   CHARGE. 

the  law.  Others,  feeling  that  they  might  be 
misunderstood,  and  knowing  that  theology  can 
coin  the  meanest  words  to  act  as  the  vehicle  of 
the  lowest  lies,  were  afraid  of  being  mis- 
understood, and  therefore  they  said,  Let  us 
amend  these  laws  so  that  our  literature  shall  be 
upon  an  equality  with  that  of  theology.  I  know 
that  there  is  not  a  Liberal  here,  nor  in  the 
United  States,  that  is  in  favor  of  the  dissemina- 
tion of  obscene  literature.  [Cheers.]  One  of 
the  objections  which  we  have  to  the  book  said 
to  be  written  by  God  is  that  it  is  obscene. 
[Cheers,  yells,  and  cheers.] 

"  *  The  Liberals  of  this  country  believe  in  pur- 
ity, and  they  believe  that  every  fact  in  nature 
and  in  science  is  as  pure  as  a  star.  We  do  not 
need  to  ask  for  any  more  than  we  want.  We 
simply  want  the  laws  of  our  country  so  framed 
that  we  are  not  discriminated  against.  So, 
taking  that  view  of  the  vexed  question,  we 
want  to  put  the  boot  upon  the  other  foot. 
We  want  to  put  the  charge  of  obscenity  where 
it  belongs,  and  the  committee,  of  which  I  have 
the  honor  to  be  one  of  the  members,  have  en- 
deavored to  do  just  that  thing.  [Cheers.]  Men 
have  no  right  to  talk  to  me  about  obscenity  who 
regard  the  story  of  Lot  and  his  daughters  as  a 
fit  thing  for  men,  women,  and  children  to  read, 
and  who  worship  a  God  in  whom  the  violation 
of  [Cheers  drowned  the  conclusion  of  this  sen- 
tence so  the  reporters  could  not  hear  it]  Such 
a  God  I  hold  in  infinite  contempt.  [Kedoubled 
cheers.] 

"  Now  I  will  read  you  the  resolutions  recom- 
mended by  the  committee. 

"  '  RESOLUTIONS. 

"  '  Your  committee  have  the  honor  to  sub- 
mit the  following  report : 


THE  OBSCENITY  CHAKGE.         119 

"  'First,  As  to  the  unfinished  business  of  the 
League,  your  committee  submits  the  following 
resolutions : 

"  '  Resolved,  That  we  are  in  favor  of  such 
postal  laws  as  will  allow  the  free  transportation 
through  the  mails  of  the  United  States  of  all 
books,  pamphlets,  and  papers,  irrespective^  of 
the  religious,  irreligious,  political,  and  scientific 
views  they  may  contain,  so  that  the  literature 
of  science  may  be  placed  upon  an  equality  with 
that  of  superstition. 

"  '  Resolved,  That  we  are  utterly  opposed  to  the 
dissemination,  through  the  mails  or  by  any  other 
means,  of  obscene  literature,  whether  "  in- 
spired "  or  uninspired,  and  hold  in  measureless 
contempt  its  authors  and  disseminators. 

"  '  Resolved,  That  we  call  upon  the  Christian 
world  to  expunge  from  the  so-called  "sacred" 
Bible  every  passage  that  cannot  be  read  with- 
out covering  the  cheek  of  modesty  with  the 
blush  of  shame  ;  and  until  such  passages  are 
expunged,  we  demand  that  the  laws  against  the 
dissemination  of  obscene  literature  be  impar- 
tially enforced.' 

"  During  the  reading  of  these  resolutions, 
when  he  came  to  the  words  '  obscene  litera- 
ture,' Colonel  lugersoU  said,  'I  thank  them  for 
that  word  ;  we  will  see  who  the  obscenists  are.' 
The  Congress  also  resolved : 

"  '  That  we  express  the  deepest  sympathy  with 
D.  M.  Bennett  and  his  family,  for  the  reason 
that  he  has  been  convicted  by  religious  bigotry 
and  ignorant  zeal,  and  has  been  imprisoned, 
and  is  now  languishing  in  the  cell  of  a  felon, 
when  in  truth  and  fact  he  committed  no  offense 
whatever  against  any  law  of  the  land.' 


120  THE   OBSCENITY  CHARGE. 

"  This  ou<^lit  to  have  stopped  the  ministerial 
gLouls,  but  it  (lid  not,  for  the  reason  that  they 
did  not  tuke  the  trouble  to  inform  themselves 
of  the  position  held  by  Colonel  lugersoU  on  the 
question.  Neither  did  the  critics  in  the  Lib- 
eral ranks  cease  their  caviling  at  the  League. 
Tlie  discussion  over  the  Comstock  laws  went  on 
with  vigor  and  acrimony,  and  the  writer  of 
these  lines  was  as  acrimonious  as  anybody  else. 
We  believed  then,  as  we  believe  now,  that  the 
Comstock  laws  are  unconstitutional,  and  should 
be  repealed.  We  do  not  believe  that  Congress 
has  power  to  legislate  on  the  morality  of  maila- 
ble matter.  We  believe  that  the  language  of 
the  House  committee  on  post-offices  of  the 
present  Congress  f  1888]  in  dealing  with  the  bill 
to  exclude  newspapers  containing  lottery  ad- 
vertisements applies  to  the  Comstock  laws. 
The  committee  says ; 

"  '  In  the  opinion  of  the  committee  the  legis- 
lation proposed  by  these  bills  violates  the 
spirit,  if  not  the  letter,  of  the  article  of  the 
Constitution  which  declares  that  Congress  shall 
make  no  law  abridging  the  freedom  of  the  press. 
If  Congress  may  exclude  from  the  mails  a  news- 
paper or  a  periodical  which  contains  an 
advertisement  of  a  lottery,  it  may  make  non- 
mailable all  newspapers  and  periodicals  in 
which  are  printed  advertisements,  news  re- 
ports, or  editorials  which  in  its  judgment  the 
people  should  not  read.  In  other  words,  it  may 
declare  what  shall  and  what  shall  not  be 
printed  in  every  newspaper  and  periodical  in 
the  country  which  is  circulated  wholly  or  in 
part  through  the  mails. 

"  *  Another  objection  to  this  legislation  is  that 
it  establishes  a  censorship  of  the  press.  Surely 
no  one  will  maintain  that  Congress,  if  it  should 


THE  OBSCENITY  CHARGE.         121 

pass  laws  to  effect  that  purpose,  would  not  vio- 
late the  provision  of  the  Constitution  which  was 
intended  to  protect  the  liberty  of  the  press. 
And  yet  that  is  what  one  of  these  bills,  viz.. 
No.  3,320,  does.  It  clothes  the  postmaster- 
general  with  authority  to  determine  what 
printed  matter  in  any  newspaper  or  periodical 
is  an  advertisement  of  a  lottery,  making  him  in 
that  respect  a  censor  of  the  press.  The  inev- 
itable result  of  such  leofislation  is  the  estab- 
lishment of  a  precedent  which  may  be  considered 
in  the  future  an  authority  for  the  creation  of  a 
censor  of  the  press  in  all  respects.' 

"We  believe  that  lotteries  and  obscenity 
should  be  dealt  with  by  state  and  municipal 
legislation,  and  offenders  punished  in  the 
county  in  which  they  commit  their  offense.  So 
in  those  days  we  argued  for  the  repeal  of  the 
Comstock  laws,  as  did  dozens  of  others — James 
Parton,  Elizur  Wright,  O.  B.  Frothingham,  T. 
C.  Leland,  Courtlandt  Palmer,  and  many  more 
whose  names  we  do  not  recall.  But  Colonel 
Ingersoll  did  not,  and  when  the  National  Liberal 
League  met  the  next  year  at  Chicago  (Sept.  17, 
1880),  he  was  opposed  to  the  League's  making 
a  pledge  to  defend  every  case  under  the  Com- 
stock laws,  and  he  was  opposed  to  a  resolution 
demanding  a  repeal  of  those  laws.  The  following 
is  what  Colonel  Ingersoll  said  upon  the  subject : 

"  *  Mr.  Chairman,  I  wish  to  offer  the  following 
resolution  in  place  and  instead  of  resolutions 
numbered  5  and  6  : 

"  '  Eesolved,  That  the  committee  of  defense, 
whenever  a  person  has  been  indicted  for  what 
he  claims  to  have  been  an  honest  exercise  of 
the  freedom  of  thought  and  expression,  shall 
investigate  the  case,  and  if  it  appears  that  such 


122  THE   OBSCENITY   CHARGE. 

person  has  been  guilty  of  no  oflfense,  then  it 
shall  be  the  duty  of  said  committee  to  defend 
such  person  if  he  is  unable  to  defend  himself. 

'"Now  allow  me  one  moment  to  state  my 
reasons.  I  do  not,  I  have  not,  I  never  shall, 
accuse  or  suspect  a  solitary  member  of  the 
Liberal  League  of  the  United  States  of  being  in 
favor  of  doing  any  act  under  heaven  that  he  is 
not  thoroughly  convinced  is  right.  We  all 
claim  freedom  of  speech,  and  it  is  the  gem  of 
the  human  soul.  We  all  claim  a  right  to  ex- 
press our  honest  thoughts.  Did  it  ever  occur 
to  any  Liberal  that  he  wished  to  express  any 
thought  honestly,  truly,  and  legally  he  con- 
sidered immoral  ?  How  does  it  happen  that  we 
have  any  interest  in  what  is  known  as  immoral 
literature  ?  I  deny  that  the  League  has  any 
interest  in  that  kind  of  literature.  Whenever 
we  mention  it,  whenever  we  speak  of  it,  we  put 
ourselves  in  a  false  position.  What  do  we  want  ? 
We  want  to  see  to  it  that  the  church  party  shall 
not  smother  the  literature  of  Liberalism.  We 
want  to  see  to  it  that  the  viper  of  intellectual 
slavery  shall  not  sting  our  cause.  We  want  it 
so  that  every  honest  man,  so  that  every  honest 
woman,  can  express  his  or  her  honest  thought 
upon  any  subject  in  the  world.  And  the  ques- 
tion, and  the  only  question,  as  to  whether  they 
are  amendable  to  the  law,  in  my  mind,  is, 
Were  they  honest  ?  Was  their  effort  to  benefit 
mankind  ?  Was  that  their  intention  ?  And  no 
man,  no  woman,  should  be  convicted  of  any 
offense  that  that  man  or  woman  kid  not  intend 
to  commit.  Now  then,  suppose  some  person 
is  arrested,  and  it  is  claimed  that  a  work  written 
by  him  is  immoral,  is  illegal.  Then,  I  say,  let 
our  committee  of  defense  examine  that  case, 
and  if  our  enemies  are  seeking  to  trample  out 
Freethought  under  the  name  of  immorality,  and 


THE   OBSCENITY  CHARGE,  123 

under  the  cover  and  shield  of  our  criminal  law, 
then  let  us  defend  that  man  to  the  last  dollar 
we  have.  But  we  do  not  wish  to  put  ourselves 
in  the  position  of  general  defenders  of  all  the 
slush  that  may  be  written  in  this  or  any  other 
country.  You  cannot  afford  to  do  it.  You 
cannot  afford  to  put  into  the  mouth  of  theology 
a  perpetual  and  continual  slur.  You  cannot 
afford  to  do  it.  And  this  meeting  is  not  the 
time  to  go  into  the  question  of  what  authority 
the  United  States  may  have  over  the  mails.  It 
is  a  very  wide  question.  It  embraces  many 
others.  Has  the  government  a  right  to  say 
what  shall  go  into  the  mails?  Why,  in  one 
sense,  assuredly.  Certainly  they  have  a  right 
to  say  that  you  shall  not  send  a  horse  and 
wagon  by  mail.  They  have  a  right  to  fix  some 
limit ;  and  the  only  thing  we  want  is  that  the 
literature  of  liberty,  the  literature  of  real  Free- 
thought,  shall  not  be  discriminated  against. 
And  we  know  now  as  well  as  if  it  had  been  per- 
fectly and  absolutely  demonstrated,  that  the 
literature  of  Freethought  will  be  absolutely 
pure.  We  know  it.  We  call  upon  the  Chris- 
tian world  to  expunge  obscenity  from  their  book, 
and  until  that  is  expunged  we  demand  that  the 
laws  against  obscene  literature  shall  be  exe- 
cuted. And  how  can  we,  in  the  next  resolution, 
say  those  laws  ought  all  to  be  repealed  ?  We 
cannot  do  that.  I  have  always  been  in  favor  of 
such  an  amendment  of  the  law  that  by  no  trick, 
by  no  device,  by  no  judicial  discretion,  an  hon- 
est, high,  pure-minded  man  should  be  subjected 
to  punishment  simply  for  giving  his  best  and 
his  honest  thought.  What  more  do  we  need  ? 
What  more  can  we  ask  ?  I  am  as  much  opposed 
as  my  friend  Mr.  Wakeman  can  be  to  the  as- 
sumption of  the  church  that  it  is  the  guardian 
of  morality.    If  our  morality  is  to  be  guarded 


124  THE   OBSCENITY   CBARGE. 

by  that  sentiment  alone,  then  is  the  end  come. 
The  natural  instinct  of  self-defense  in  mankind 
and  in  all  organized  society  is  the  fortress  of 
the  morality  in  mankind.  The  church  itself 
was  at  one  time  the  outgrowth  of  that  same 
feeling,  but  now  the  feeling  has  outgrown  the 
church.  Now,  then,  we  will  have  a  Committee 
of  Defense.  That  committeee  will  examine 
every  case.  Suppose  some  man  has  been  in- 
dicted, and  suppose  he  is  guilty.  Suppose  he 
has  endeavored  to  soil  the  human  mind.  Sup- 
pose he  has  been  willing  to  make  money  by 
pandering  to  the  lowest  passions  in  the  human 
breast.  What  will  that  committee  do  with  him 
them?  We  will  say" Go  on;  let  the  law  take 
its  course."  [Applause.]  But  if,  upon  reading 
his  book,  we  find  that  he  is  all  wrong,  horribly 
wrong,  idiotically  wrong,  but  make  up  our 
minds  that  he  was  honest  in  his  error,  I  will 
give  as  much  as  any  other  living  man  of  my 
means  to  defend  that  man.  And  I  believe  you 
will  all  bear  me  witness  when  I  say  that  I 
have  the  cause  of  intellectual  liberty  at  heart  as 
much  as  I  am  capable  of  having  anything  at 
heart.  And  I  know  hundreds  of  others  here 
just  the  same.  I  understand  that.  I  under- 
stand their  motive.  I  believe  it  to  be  perfectly 
good,  but  I  truly  and  honestly  think  they  are 
mistaken.  If  we  have  an  interest  in  the  busi- 
ness, I  would  fight  for  it.  If  our  cause  was  as- 
sailed by  law,  then  I  say  fight ;  and  our  cause 
is  assailed,  and  I  say  fight.  They  will  not 
allow  me,  in  many  states  of  this  Union,  to 
testify.  I  say  fight  until  every  one  of  those 
laws  is  repealed.  They  discriminate  against  a 
man  simply  because  he  is  honest.  Repeal  such 
laws.  The  church,  if  it  had  the  power  to-day, 
would  trample  out  every  particle  of  free  litera- 
ture in  this  land.    And  when  they  endeavor  to 


THE  OBSCENITY  CHARGE.  125 

do  that,  I  say  fight.  But  there  is  a  distinction 
wide  as  the  Mississippi — yes,  wider  than  the 
Atlantic,  wider  than  all  the  oceans — between 
the  literature  of  immorality  and  the  literature 
of  Freethought.  One  is  a  crawling,  slimy  liz- 
ard, and  the  other  an  angel  with  wings  of  light. 
Now,  let  us  draw  this  distinction,  let  us  under- 
stand ourselves,  and  do  not  give  to  the  common 
enemy  a  word  covered  with  mire,  a  word  stained 
with  doaca,  to  throw  at  us.  We  thought  we 
had  settled  that  question  a  year  ago.  We  buried 
it  then,  and  I  say  let  it  rot. 

" 'This  question  is  of  great  importance.  It 
is  the  most  important  one  we  have  here.  I  have 
fought  this  question  ;  I  am  ever  going  to,  and  I 
will  not  allow  anybody  to  put  a  stain  upon  me. 
This  question  must  be  understood  if  it  takes  all 
summer.  Here  is  a  case  in  point.  Some  lady 
has  written  a  work  which,  I  am  informed,  is  a 
good  work,  and  that  has  nothing  wrong  about 
it.  Her  opinions  may  be  foolish  or  wise.  Let 
this  committee  examine  that  case.  If  they  find 
that  she  is  a  good  woman,  that  she  had  good 
intentions,  no  matter  how  terrible  the  work  may 
be,  if  her  intentions  are  good,  she  has  com- 
mitted no  crime.  I  want  the  honest  thought. 
I  think  I  have  always  been  in  favor  of  it.  But 
we  haven't  the  time  to  go  into  all  these  questions. 

"  '  Then  comes  the  question  for  this  house  to 
decide  in  a  moment  whether  these  cases  should 
have  been  tried  in  the  state  or  federal  court.  I 
want  it  understood  that  I  have  confidence  in 
the  federal  courts  of  the  nation.  There  may  be 
some  bad  judges,  there  may  be  some  idiotic 
jurors.  I  think  there  was  in  that  case  [of  Mi-. 
Bennett].  But  the  Committee  of  Defense,  if  I 
understand  it,  supplied  means,  for  the  defense 
of  that  man.  They  did,  but  are  we  ready  now 
to  decide  in  a  moment  what  courts  shall  have 


126  THE   OBSCENITY  CHARGE. 

jurisdiction  ?  Are  we  ready  to  say  that  the 
federal  courts  shall  be  denied  jurisdiction  in 
any  case  arising  about  the  mails  ?  Suppose 
somebody  robs  the  mails  ?  Before  whom  shall 
we  try  the  robber  ?  Try  him  before  a  federal 
judge.  Why?  Because  he  has  violated  a 
federal  law.  We  have  not  any  time  for  such 
an  investigation  as  this.  What  we  want  to 
do  is  to  defend  free  speech  everywhere.  What 
we  want  to  do  is  to  defend  the  expression 
of  thought  in  papers,  in  pamphlets,  in  books. 
What  we  want  to  do  is  to  see  to  it  that  these 
books,  papers,  and  pamphlets  are  on  an  equality 
with  all  other  books,  papers,  and  pamphlets  in 
the  United  States  mails.  And  then  the  next 
step  we  want  to  take,  if  any  man  is  indicted 
under  the  pretense  that  he  is  publishing  im- 
moral books,  is  to  have  our  Committee  of 
Defense  well  examine  the  case  ;  and  if  we  believe 
the  man  to  be  innocent  we  will  help  defend 
him  if  he  is  unable  to  defend  himself ;  and  if 
we  find  that  the  law  is  wrong  in  that  particular, 
we  will  go  for  the  amendment  of  that  law.  I 
beg  of  you  to  have  some  sense  in  this  matter.  We 
must  have  it.  If  we  don't,  upon  that  rock  we 
will  split — upon  that  rock  we  will  again  divide. 
Let  us  not  do  it.  The  cause  of  intellectual 
liberty  is  the  highest  to  the  human  mind.  Let 
us  stand  by  it,  and  we  can  help  all  these  people 
by  this  resolution.  We  can  do  justice  every- 
where with  it,  while  if  we  agree  to  the  fifth  and 
sixth  resolutions  that  have  been  offered  I  say 
we  lay  ourselves  open  to  the  charge,  and  it  will 
be  hurled  against  us,  no  matter  how  unjustly, 
that  we  are  in  favor  of  widespread  immorality.* 

"  Mr.  Clarke  :  We  are  not  afraid  of  it. 

"  Colonel  Ingersoll :  You  may  say  we  are  not 
afraid.  I  am  not  afraid.  He  only  is  a  fool  who 
rushes  into  unnecessary  danger. 


THE   OBSCENITY  CHARGE.  127 

"  Mr.  Clarke  :  What  are  you  talking  about, 
anyway  ? 

"  Colonel  Ingersoll :  I  am  talking  with  en- 
deavor to  put  a  little  sense  into  such  men  as 
you.  [Applause  and  laughter.]  Your  very 
question  shows  that  it  was  necessary  that  I 
should  talk.  [Applause.]  And  now  I  move 
that  my  resolution  be  adopted. 

"  Mr.  Wakeman  moved  that  it  be  added  to 
that  portion  of  the  sixth  resolution  which 
recommended  the  constitution  of  the  Committee 
of  Defense. 

"  Colonel  Ingersoll :  I  cannot  agree  to  the 
sixth  resolution.  I  think  nearly  every  word  of 
it  is  wrong  in  principle.  I  think  it  binds  us  to 
a  course  of  action  that  we  will  not  be  willing  to 
follow ;  and  my  resolution  covers  every  possible 
case.  My  resolution  binds  us  to  defend  every 
honest  man  in  the  exercise  of  his  right.  I  can't 
be  bound  to  say  that  the  government  hasn't 
control  of  its  morals — that  we  cannot  trust  the 
federal  courts — that,  under  any  circumstances, 
at  any  time,  I  am  bound  to  defend,  either  by 
word  or  money,  any  man  who  violates  the  laws 
of  this  country. 

"Mr.  Wakeman  :  We  do  not  say  that. 

"  Colonel  Ingersoll ;  I  beg  of  you,  I  beseech 
you,  not  to  pass  the  sixth  resolution.  If  you 
do,  I  wouldn't  give  that  [snapping  his  fingers] 
for  the  platform.  A  part  of  the  Comstock  law 
authorizes  the  vilest  possible  trick.  We  are  all 
opposed  to  that. 

"  Mr.  Leland  :  What  is  the  question  ? 

*'  Colonel  Ingersoll :  Don't  let  us  be  silly. 
Don't  let  us  say  we  are  opposed  to  what  we  are 
not  opposed  to.  If  any  man  here  is  opposed  to 
putting  down  the  vilest  of  all  possible  trash  he 
ought  to  go  home.  We  are  opposed  to  only  a 
part  of  the  law — opposed  to  it  whenever  they 


128  THE   OBSCENITY   CHARGE. 

endeavor  to  trample  Freethouglit  under  foot  in 
the  name  of  immorality.     [Applause.] 

"  Afterward,  at  the  same  session  of  the  Con- 
jjress,  the  following  colloquy  took  place  between 
Colonel  lugersoll  and  T.  B.  Wakeman  : 

"  *  Colonel  Ingersoll :  You  know  as  well  as  I 
that  there  are  certain  books  not  fit  to  go  through 
the  mails — books  and  pictures  not  fit  to  be  de- 
livered. 

"  '  Mr.  Wakeman  :  That  is  so. 

"  '  Colonel  Ingersoll :  There  is  not  a  man  here 
but  what  is  in  favor,  when  these  books  and 
pictures  come  into  the  control  of  the  United 
States,  of  burning  them  up  when  they  are  mani- 
festly obscene.  You  don't  want  any  grand  jury 
there. 

"  '  Mr.  Wakeman  :  Yes,  we  do. 

"  '  Colonel  lugersoll  :  No,  we  don't.  When 
they  are  manifestly  obscene,  burn  them  up. 

"  '  A  delegate  :  Who  is  to  be  judge  of  that? 

"  'Colonel  Ingersoll :  There  are  books  that 
nobody  differs  about.  There  are  certain  things 
about  which  we  can  use  discretion.  If  that  dis- 
cretion is  abused,  a  man  has  his  remedy.  We 
stand  for  the  free  thought  of  this  country.  We 
stand  for  the  progressive  spirit  of  the  United 
States.  We  can't  afford  to  say  that  all  these 
laws  should  be  repealed.  If  we  had  time  to 
investigate  them  we  could  say  in  what  they 
should  be  amended.  Don't  tie  us  to  this  non- 
sense— to  the  idea  that  we  have  an  interest  in 
immoral  literature.  Let  us  remember  that  Mr. 
Wakeman  is  sore.  He  had  a  case  before  the 
federal  courts,  and  he  imagines,  having  lost  that 
case,  you  cannot  depend  on  them.  I  have  lost 
hundreds  of  cases.  I  have  as  much  confidence 
in  the  federal  courts  as  in  the  state  courts.     I 


THE   OBSCENITY  CHARGE.  129 

am  not  to  be  a  party  to  throwing  a  slur  upon 
the  federal  judiciary.  All  we  want  is  fair  play. 
We  want  the  same  chance  for  our  doctrines  that 
others  have  for  theirs.  And  how  this  infernal 
question  of  obscenity  ever  got  into  the  Liberal 
League  I  could  never  understand.  If  an  inno- 
cent man  is  convicted  of  larceny,  should  we  re- 
peal all  the  laws  on  the  subject?  I  don't  pre- 
tend to  be  better  than  other  people.  It  is  easy 
to  talk  right — so  easy  to  be  right  that  I  never 
care  to  have  the  luxury  of  being  wrong.  I  am 
advocating  something  that  we  can  stand  upon. 
I  do  not  misunderstand  Mr.  Wakeman's  motives. 
I  believe  they  are  perfectly  good — that  he  is 
thoroughly  honest.  Why  not  just  say  we  will 
stand  by  freedom  of  thought  and  its  expression? 
Why  not  say  that  we  are  in  favor  of  amending 
any  law  that  is  wrong?  But  do  not  make  the 
wholesale  statement  that  all  these  laws  ought  to 
be  repealed.  They  ought  not  to  be  repealed. 
Some  of  them  are  good.  The  law  against  send- 
ing instruments  of  vice  in  the  mails  is  good,  as 
is  the  law  against  seuding  obscene  books  and 
pictures,  and  the  law  against  letting  ignorant 
hyenas  prey  upon  sick  people,  and  the  law 
which  prevents  the  getters-up  of  bogus  lotteries 
sending  their  letters  through  the  maih' 

"  At  the  evening  session  of  the  Congress,  on 
the  same  day,  Mr.  IngersoU  made  this  speech  in 
opposition  to  the  resolution  demanding  the  re- 
peal of  the  Comstock  laws  : 

"  '  I  am  not  in  favor  of  the  repeal  of  those 
laws.  I  have  never  been,  and  I  never  expect  to 
be.  But  I  do  wish  that  every  law  providing  for 
the  punishment  of  a  criminal  offense  should 
distinctly  define  the  offense.  That  is  the  ob- 
jection  to    this   law,    that   it    does   not   define 


130  THE  OBSCENITY   CHARGE. 

the  oflfense,  so  that  an  American  citizen  can 
readily  know  when  he  is  about  to  violate  it,  and 
consequently  the  law  ought  in  all  probability  to 
be  moditied  in  that  regard.  I  am  in  favor  of 
every  law  defining  with  perfect  distinctness  the 
offense  to  be  punished,  but  I  cannot,  I  have  the 
cause  of  Freethought  too  much  at  heart,  to  say 
by  wholesale  these  laws  should  be  repealed. 
Neither  will  I  consent  to  the  repeal  simply  be- 
cause the  church  is  in  favor  of  those  laws.  In 
so  far  as  the  church  agrees  with  me,  I  con- 
gratulate the  church.  In  so  far  as  superstition 
is  willing  to  help  me,  good !  I  am  willing  to 
accept  it.  I  believe,  also,  that  this  League  is 
upon  a  secular  basis,  and  there  should  be  noth- 
ing in  our  platform  that  would  prevent  any 
Christian  from  acting  with  us.  What  is  our 
platform  ?  And  we  ought  to  leave  it  as  it  is. 
It  needs  no  amendment.  Our  platform  is  for  a 
secular  government.  Is  it  improper  in  a  secu- 
lar government  to  endeavor  to  prevent  the 
spread  of  obscene  literature?  It  is  the  business 
of  a  secular  government  to  do  it,  but  if  that 
government  attempts  to  stamp  out  Freethought 
in  the  name  of  obscenity,  it  is  then  for  the 
friends  of  Freethought  to  call  for  a  definition 
of  the  word,  and  such  a  definition  as  will  allow 
Freethought  to  go  everywhere  through  all  the 
mails  of  the  United  States.  We  are  also  in  favor 
of  secular  schools.  Good.  We  are  in  favor  of 
doing  away  with  every  law  that  discriminates 
against  a  man  on  account  of  his  belief.  Good. 
We  are  in  favor  of  universal  education.  Good. 
We  are  in  favor  of  the  taxation  of  church  prop- 
erty. Good — because  the  experience  of  the 
world  shows  that  where  you  allow  superstition 
to  own  property  without  taxing  it,  it  will  absorb 
the  net  profits.  Is  it  time  now  that  we  should 
throw  into  the  scale,  against  all  these  splendid 


THE   OBSCENITY  CHARGE.  131 

purposes,  an  effort  to  repeal  some  postil  laws 
against  obscenity  ?  As  well  might  we  turn  the 
League  into  an  engine  to  do  away  with  all  laws 
against  the  sale  of  stale  eggs.  What  have  we 
to  do  with  those  things  ?  Is  it  possible  that 
Freethought  can  be  charged  with  being  obscene  ? 
Is  it  possible  that,  if  the  charge  is  made,  it  can 
be  substantiated?  Can  you  not  attack  any 
superstition  in  the  world  in  perfectly  pure  lan- 
guage? Can  you  not  attack  anything  you  please 
in  perfectly  pure  language  ?  And  where  a  man 
intends  right,  no  law  should  find  him  guilty; 
and  if  the  law  is  weak  in  that  respect,  let  it  be 
modified.  But  I  say  to  you  that  I  cannot  go 
with  any  body  of  men  who  demand  the  uncon- 
ditional repeal  of  these  laws.  [Cheers.]  I  be- 
lieve in  liberty  as  much  as  any  man  who 
breathes.  I  will  do  as  much,  according  to  my 
ability,  as  any  other  man  to  make  this  an  abso- 
lutely free  and  secular  government.  I  will  do 
as  much  as  any  other  man  of  my  strength  and 
of  my  intellectual  power  to  give  every  human 
being  every  right  that  I  claim  for  myself.  But 
this  obscene  law  business  is  a  stumbling-block. 
Had  it  not  been  for  this,  instead  of  the  few 
people  voting  here — less  than  one  hundred — we 
would  have  had  a  Congress  numbered  by  thou- 
sands. Had  it  not  been  for  this  business,  the 
Liberal  League  of  the  United  States  would  to- 
night hold  in  its  hand  the  political  destiny  of 
the  United  States.  Instead  of  that,  we  have 
thrown  away  our  power  upon  a  question  in 
which  we  are  not  interested.  Instead  of  that, 
we  have  wasted  our  resources  and  our  brain  for 
the  repeal  of  a  law  that  we  don't  want  repealed. 
If  we  want  anything,  we  simply  want  a  modifi- 
cation. Now,  then,  don't  stain  this  cause  by 
such  a  course.  And  don't  understand  that  I  am 
pretending,  or  am  insinuating,  that  anyone  here 


132  THE   OBSCENITY   CHARGE. 

is  in  favor  of  obscene  literature.  It  is  a  ques- 
tion, not  of  principle,  but  of  means,  and  I  beg 
pardon  of  this  Convention  if  I  have  done  any- 
thing so  horrible  as  has  been  described  by 
Mr.  Pillsbury.  I  regret  it  if  I  have  ever  en- 
deavored to  trample  upon  the  rights  of  this 
Convention. 

"  '  There  is  one  thing  I  have  not  done — I  have 
not  endeavored  to  cast  five  votes  when  I  didn't 
have  a  solitary  vote.  Let  us  be  fair  ;  let  us  be 
fair.  I  have  simply  given  my  vote.  I  wish  to 
trample  upon  the  rights  of  no  one  ;  and  when 
Mr.  Pillsbury  gave  those  votes  he  supposed  he 
had  a  right  to  give  them  ;  and  if  he  had  a  right, 
the  votes  would  have  been  counted.  I  attribute 
nothing  wrong  to  him,  but  I  say  this  :  I  have 
the  right  to  make  a  motion  in  this  Congress,  I 
have  the  right  to  argue  that  motion,  but  I  have 
no  more  rights  than  any  other  member,  and  I 
claim  none.  But  I  want  to  say  to  you — and  I 
want  you  to  know  and  feel  it — that  I  want  to 
act  with  every  Liberal  man  and  woman  in  this 
world.  I  want  you  to  know  and  feel  it  that  I 
want  to  do  everything  I  can  to  get  every  one  of 
these  statutes  off  our  books  that  discriminates 
against  a  man  because  of  his  religious  belief — 
that  I  am  in  favor  of  a  secular  government,  and 
of  all  these  rights.  But  I  cannot,  and  I  will 
not,  operate  with  any  organization  that  asks  for 
the  unconditional  repeal  of  those  laws.  I  will 
stand  alone,  and  I  have  stood  alone.  I  can  tell 
my  thoughts  to  my  countrymen,  and  I  shall  do 
it,  and  whatever  position  you  take,  whether  I 
am  with  you  or  not,  you  will  find  me  battling 
everywhere  for  the  absolute  freedom  of  the 
human  mind.  You  will  find  me  battling  every- 
where to  make  this  world  better  and  grander ; 
and  whatever  my  personal  conduct  may  be,  I 
shall  endeavor  to  keep  my  theories  right.     I  beg 


THE   OBSCENITY   CHARGE.  133 

of  you,  I  implore  you,  do  not  pass  the  resolution 
No.  6.  It  is  not  for  our  interest ;  it  will  do  us 
no  good.  It  will  lose  us  hosts  of  honest,  splen- 
did friends.  Do  not  do  it ;  it  will  be  a  mistake  ; 
and  the  only  reason  I  offered  the  motion  was  to 
give  the  members  time  to  think  this  over.  I  am 
not  pretending  to  know  more  than  other  people. 
I  am  perfectly  willing  to  say  that  in  many  things 
1  know  less.  But  upon  this  subject  I  want  you 
to  think.  No  matter  whether  you  are  afraid  of 
your  sons,  your  daughters,  your  wives,  or  your 
husbands,  that  isn't  it — I  don't  want  the  splen- 
did prospects  of  this  League  put  in  jeopardy 
upon  such  an  issue  as  this.  I  have  no  more  to 
say.  But  if  that  resolution  is  passed,  all  I  have 
to  say  is  that,  while  I  shall  be  for  liberty  every- 
where, I  cannot  act  with  this  organization,  and 
I  will  not' 

"The  resolution  was  finally  adopted,  and 
Colonel  Ingersoll  resigned  his  office  of  vice- 
president  in  the  League,  and  never  acted  with 
it  again  until  the  League  dropped  all  side  issues, 
and  came  back  to  first  principles — the  enforce- 
ment of  the  Nine  Demands  of  Liberalism." 

In  1892,  writing  upon  this  subject  in  answer 
to  a  minister  who  had  repeated  these  absurd 
charges.  Colonel  Ingersoll  made  this  offer  :  "  I 
WILL  PAT  A  PEEMIUM  OF  $1,000  A 
WOKD  FOR  EACH  AND  EVERY  WORD  I 
EVER  SAID  OR  WROTE  IN  FAVOR 
OF  SENDING  OBSCENE  PUBLICATIONS 
THROUGH  THE  MAILS." 

As  Colonel  lugersoll's  word  is  good  for  a  great 
many  thousands  of  dollars,  we  advise  any  min- 
ister who  feels  like  repeating  these  charges  to 


134  ingersoll's  charities. 

prove  them,  and  become  rich  and  famous  in- 
stead of  making  himself  infamous  by  lying. 

COLONEL  INGERSOLL's  CHARITABLE  CONTRIBUTIONS. 

While  engaged  in  gathering  together  the  ma- 
terial of  this  pamphlet,  the  writer  received  the 
following  letter,  which  will  answer  as  the  text 
and  apology  for  mentioning  a  few  of  the  hun- 
dreds and  thousands  of  benevolent  deeds  done 
by  Colonel  Ingersoll ; 

"  Leslie,  Mich.,  Jan.  7, 1896. 

"The  Truth  Seeker, New  York. — Dear  Sirs: 
I  attended  the  lecture  of  Col.  Robert  G.  Inger- 
soll at  Jackson  last  evening,  and  on  my  return 
to-day  had  an  argument  with  a  '  divine '  con- 
cerning the  Colonel.  The  minister,  a  well- 
meaning  gentlemen,  said  that  there  was  not  an 
instance  on  record  where  Ingersoll  had  ever 
given  a  cent  for  any  charitable  or  benevolent  as- 
sociation. I  asserted  that  he  was  one  of  the 
most  charitable  of  men  and  that  a  large  portion 
of  his  income  was  devoted  to  such  objects.  I 
believe  that  a  short  time  ago,  in  San  Francisco, 
he  gave  the  whole  of  his  receipts  to  a  charitable 
association,  but  I  had  no  proof  of  my  assertion. 
The  minister  says  if  I  can  prove  to  his  mind 
that  Ingersoll  has  ever  done  anything  of  the 
kind  he  will  take  back  what  he  has  said  in  pub- 
lic concerning  the  Colonel. 

"  Now  can  you  cite  me  to  a  few  instances  of 
Mr.  IngersoU's  generosity?  I  desire  to  be  able 
to  refute  this  charge  hereafter. 

"  Hoping  to  receive  a  reply  from  you,  without 
causing  you  too  much  trouble,  I  remain,  frater- 
nally, B.  M.  Gould." 


ingersoll's  charities.  135 

We  can  mention  but  a  few  of  the  many  in- 
stances of  generosity  attributable  to  Mr.  Inger- 
soU,  for  the  reason  that  lie  does  not  care  to  have 
them  talked  about ;  most  of  them  are  concealed 
from  all  but  his  family,  and  his  family  have  too 
great  respect  for  his  wishes  to  violate  his  confi- 
dence, even  though  it  might  redound  to  his 
credit.  But  some  of  his  good  deeds  are  public 
property,  and  these  we  can  cite. 

The  reference  in  Mr.  Gould's  letter  to  a  sum 
given  to  a  San  Francisco  charity  is  based  upon 
the  fact  that  Colonel  Ingersoll  did  once  give  a 
large  sum  to  several  charities  in  that  city.  In 
the  papers  of  San  Francisco,  in  the  first  days  of 
July,  1877,  appeared  this  advertisement : 
"  Grand  Opera  House.  Monday  evening,  July 
9th.  Col.  Kobert  G.  Ingersoll  will  repeat  his 
lecture,  Liberty  for  Man,  Woman  and  Child. 
The  proceeds  to  be  equally  divided  among  the 
following  charitable  institutions  of  this  city : 
Ladies'  Protection  and  Relief  Society,  Pacific 
Hebrew  Orphan  Asylum  and  Home  Society, 
Orphan  Asylum  Society  (Protestant)." 

The  lecture  was  given  and  realized  a  large 
amount,  and  the  money  was  handed  over  to  Mrs. 
Cooper  to  divide,  as  she  was  the  almoner,  or 
good  genius,  for  the  societies. 

In  1891  Colonel  Ingersoll  was  in  Montana  en- 
gaged in  a  law  case  of  great  magnitude — the 
Davis  will  case.  The  legislature  of  Montana 
had  just  met  and  elected  Hon.  A.  C.  Witter 
speaker  of  the  house.     His  sudden  death  fol- 


136  ingeesoll's  charities. 

lowed.  He  left  two  little  girls,  who,  but  for  the 
well-known  generosity  of  their  parents,  would 
have  been  in  good  circumstances.  As  it  was, 
they  were  left  penniless.  The  members  of  the 
legislature  raised  a  purse  for  them,  and  the 
people  of  Helena  and  Butte  and  other  towns  in 
Montana  contributed  liberally.  At  the  time  the 
money  was  being  raised  Colonel  IngersoU  was 
in  Helena,  on  his  law  matter.  A  committee  of 
the  legislature,  knowing  his  sympathetic  nature 
and  great  generosity,  waited  on  him  and  re- 
quested him  to  lecture  for  the  benefit  of  the 
children.  The  Butte  (Mont.)  Miner,  of  Feb.  5, 
1891,  said  that  "  the  promptness  and  heartiness 
with  which  the  proposition  of  the  committee 
was  accepted  by  the  Colonel  was  in  keeping 
with  the  record  of  the  big-hearted  orator.  It 
was  IngersoUiau  ! " 

The  lecture  netted  the  fund  for  the  children 
$1,165.  This  was  Colonel  Ingersoll's  contribu- 
tion to  two  orphan  children,  who,  let  us  hope, 
will  grow  up  and  call  him  blessed.  It  is  usual 
with  Colonel  IngersoU  to  give  friends  passes  to 
his  lectures  ;  but  on  this  occasion  he  bought  a 
lot  of  tickets  to  his  own  lecture  and  gave  them 
out  instead. 

One  of  Colonel  Ingersoll's  gifts  to  charity 
was  his  lecture  before  the  people  of  New  York, 
for  the  Grand  Army  of  the  Eepublic,  on  May 
30,  1882.  A  great  many  of  the  unco  guid  tried 
to  dissuade  the  Grand  Army  committee  from 
inviting  him  to  deliver  the  oration  of  the  day ; 


ingersoll's  charities.  137 

the  Colonel  himself  asked  the  committee  to 
carefully  consider  the  matter,  and  H.  A.  Barnum 
again  laid  the  subject  before  them,  with  the  re- 
sult that  he  sent  the  following  telegrams  to  the 
Colonel : 

"  Our  committee  unanimously  renew  our  in- 
vitation and  urge  your  acceptance.  All  are  en- 
thusiastic on  the  subject.  We  want  Rogers  and 
the  sword  of  Bunker  Hill." 

When  Colonel  Ingersoll  had  accepted  the  in- 
vitation Mr.  Barnum  telegraphed : 

"  Telegram  received.  Glory  hallelujah.  The 
day  is  ours." 

On  the  platform  at  the  Academy  of  Music  in 
New  York  city  on  that  day  were  President 
Chester  A.  Arthur,  two  of  his  cabinet  officers, 
Generals  Grant  and  Hancock,  Mayor  Grace, 
Roscoe  Conkling,  and  even  the  Rev.  Dr.  New- 
man. Would  Mr.  Barnum  have  been  so  solici- 
tous to  get  Mr.  Ingersoll  to  speak,  and  would  this 
distinguished  company  have  been  present,  had 
the  Colonel  been  the  bad  man  his  enemies  try 
to  make  out?     Who  believes  it? 

The  proceeds  of  this  lecture  were  given  to 
the  Grand  Army — about  $4,000 — every  dollar  of 
which  was  earned  by  Colonel  Ingersoll,  for  he 
was  the  orator  of  the  occasion.  And  from  the 
amount  he  refused  to  take  even  traveling  ex- 
penses. It  was  reported  that  when  remunera- 
tion was  suggested  to  him  (the  committee  wanted 
him  so  badly  that  they  were  willing  to  pay)  he 


138  ingebsoll's  charities. 

replied,  "  I  couldn't  talk  about  dead  soldiers 
for  money."  The  money  the  people  paid  to 
hear  him  speak  was  given  to  the  veterans,  dis- 
abled soldiers,  widows  of  soldiers,  and  orphans, 
and  a  portion  went  to  the  Garfield  statue  fund. 

In  1890  Colonel  Ingersoll  lectured  in  Phila- 
delphia for  the  benefit  of  Walt  Whitman.  The 
lecture  is  called  a  "  Testimonial  to  Walt  Whit- 
man," and  it  was  indeed  a  very  substantial  tes- 
timonial, for  it  netted  nearly  a  thousand 
dollars,  every  penny  of  which  went  to  the 
beneficiary,  and  the  last  months  of  Whitman's 
life  he  lived  largely  upon  the  bounty  of  Mr. 
Ingersoll.  Even  the  copyright  of  the  lecture 
was  not  retained  by  Mr.  Ingersoll,  but  was 
given  to  the  publishers,  the  Truth  Seeker  Com- 
pany. 

And,  speaking  of  copyrights,  this  is  a  good 
place  to  inform  those  who  accuse  Colonel  In- 
gersoll of  making  money  from  his  writings,  that 
he  never  in  any  way  received  one  cent  from  the 
Bale  of  his  books.  He  has  given  it  all  to  others 
— every  cent  of  it.  His  income  is  derived  from 
his  law  practice  and  his  lectures ;  and  until  the 
ministers  all  work  for  nothing,  and  find  them- 
selves, the  accusation  that  he  is  mercenary 
comes  with  poor  grace  from  them. 

To  the  Mt.  Vernon,  111.,  sufferers,  in  1888, 
Colonel  Ingersoll  sent  his  check  for  $50 — "  to 
relieve  the  immediate  wants  of  some  sufferer," 
as  he  wrote  to  Col.  Geo.  W.  Evans,  of  that 
place ;  in  1879  he  sent  his  check  for  $100  to  the 


ingersoll's  charities.  139 

Negro  Emigrant  Aid  Society,  and  would  have 
given  them  the  benefit  of  a  lecture  had  not  the 
controllers  of  Lincoln  Hall  passed  a  resolution 
denying  him  the  right  to  speak  in  that  building, 
as  he  had  been  invited  to  do  by  the  society  ;  he 
sent  $100  dollars  to  the  Johnstown  sufferers  ; 
and  he  gave  an  equal  amount  to  help  erect  the 
statue  to  Giordano  Bruno  in  Rome.  He  gave 
the  New  York  State  Freethinkers'  Association 
the  proceeds  of  his  lecture  at  their  convention 
in  Albany  one  year,  netting  between  $800  and 
$900,  and  at  a  previous  convention  he  divided 
the  proceeds  between  two  needy  Infidels — several 
hundred  dollars  apiece.  He  contributed  the 
proceeds  of  one  of  his  lectures  on  Paine  (in 
Chickering  Hall,  New  York)  to  the  Manhattan 
Liberal  Club,  of  the  same  city.  He  gave  the 
financial  results  of  another  lecture  in  the  same 
place  ("  A  Lay  Sermon  ")  to  the  American  Sec- 
ular Union,  and  his  contributions  in  cash,  be- 
sides, to  that  organization  were  in  one  year 
several  hundred  dollars.  In  the  Metropolitan 
Opera  House,  New  York,  he  spoke  for  the  bene- 
fit of  the  Ethical  Society's  work,  the  result  of 
which  is  made  known  in  the  subjoined  letter  : 

"New  York,  Jan.  20,  1896. 

"E.  M.  Macdonald,  Esq.— Z^ear  AS'fr;  I  have 
received  your  lines  of  the  14th  iust.,  and  should 
have  replied  at  once  but  for  great  and  unusual 
pressure  of  work. 

"  It  gives  me  great  pleasure  to  say,  in  answer 
to  your  inquiry,  that  Colonel  Ingersoll  respond- 
ed with  great  kindness  and  alacrity  to  our  re- 


140  ingeksoll's  chaeities. 

quest  that  lie  should  speak  for  the  benefit  of 
the  Workingman's  School  and  our  other  chari- 
ties, and  that  the  net  proceeds  amounted,  if  I 
remember  rightly,  to  between  $1,500  and  $2,000 
on  that  occasion.     Very  truly  yours, 

**  Felix  Abler." 

He  lectured  again  in  this  city  for  the  benefit 
of  some  kindergartens,  and  the  receipts  paid 
all  the  expenses  of  two  of  these  institutions  in 
Harlem  for  a  year. 

Some  years  ago  the  erection  of  a  monument 
to  Thomas  Paine  was  mooted  by  the  Liberals 
of  Chicago,  and  Colonel  Ingersoll  promptly  re- 
sponded to  an  invitation  to  lecture  for  the  bene- 
fit of  the  fund  for  that  purpose.  The  net  pro- 
ceeds were  about  $1,200,  and  that  sum  is  now 
drawing  interest,  awaiting  the  completion  of 
the  enterprise.  Bronson  C.  Keeler,  author  of 
"A  Short  History  of  the  Bible,"  and  General 
Stiles,  now  deceased,  of  that  city,  were  two  of 
the  trustees  of  the  fund. 

His  personal  charities,  of  which  the  world 
never  hears,  are  simply  innumerable.  The 
following  from  the  Mail  and  Express,  of  Jan.  3, 
1891,  shows  how  he  treats  the  poor  and  lowly 
who  come  in  contact  with  him  : 

"  One  of  the  most  royal  tippers  is  Col.  Robert 
G.  Ingersoll.  Dollar  bills  slip  through  his 
philanthropic  fingers  like  peanuts  down  a 
schoolboy's  throat.  He  invariably  tips  the 
waiter  and  all  other  servants  in  a  hotel  who 
have  the  good  fortune  to  wait  on  him.  Some- 
times he  will  hand  a  dollar  bill  to  a  fale-faced, 


ingeesoll's  charities.  141 

thinly  clad  newsboy  and  say,  '  Good  luck  be 
with  you,  my  boy  ! '  in  such  a  cheery  way  that 
the  surprised  urchin  wants  to  bless  the  p;iver, 
but  his  tongue  usually  clings  to  the  roof  of  his 
mouth.  Colonel  IngersoU  gives  away  in  chari- 
ties between  $25,000  and  $40,000  annually." 

Some  other  pleasant  stories  concerning  him, 
which  have  the  merit  of  being  true  in  substance, 
are  these  :  The  first  is  from  an  unknown  In- 
diana paper : 

"  Colonel  IngersoU,  while  walking  in  front  of 
the  hotel  yesterday,  was  approached  by  '  Boos- 
ter,' the  cross-eyed  little  newsboy,  who  is  about 
two  feet  high,  and  a  most  forlorn  looking  little 
fellow.  '  Take  a  paper,  sir  ?  '  he  asked,  holding 
one  up  to  the  gigantic  Pagan,  '  take  a  paper, 
sir?  All  about  IngersoU.'  'IngersoU!'  ex- 
claimed the  Colonel,  '  what's  IngersoU  been  do- 
ing?' '  I  dunno,  sir,' said  Rooster  helplessly, 
'but  something  orful,  I  expect.'  The  Colonel 
took  the  paper  and  gave  the  boy  seventy-five 
cents  as  a  reward  for  his  unconscious  humor." 

"  While  in  the  city  Colonel  IngersoU  met 
some  friends  from  Shawneetown,  and  began  in- 
quiring about  others.  Among  them  was  an 
honest  old  woman  who  supported  herself  at  the 
washtub.  *  And  she's  washing  yet,  you  say?' 
asked  the  Colonel.  '  Yes,  but  she  is  getting 
rather  old  and  feeble  to  keep  it  up  much  long- 
er.' When  Mr.  Bowman,  of  Shawneetown,  went 
home  he  carried  fifty  dollars  in  his  pocket  as  a 
present  from  Colonel  IngersoU  to  the  old  wash- 
erwoman. It's  worth  paying  a  man  six  hun- 
dred dollars  a  night  if  he  spends  it  all  in  this 
manner." 


142  INaERSOLL's   CHARITIES. 

Another  is  from  the  New  York  Mirror,  writ- 
ten by  the  late  Mary  Fiske,  one  of  the  most 
talented  writers  of  her  time,  and  a  friend  of  the 
Ingersoll  family.  She  makes  what  to  other 
writers  would  have  been  an  ordinary — or  extra- 
ordinary— act  of  kindness,  a  very,  very  pretty 
story  to  read.  It  was  printed  in  the  Mirror  of 
Nov.  20,  1886: 

*'  On  one  of  the  very  wet  days  of  last  fall — a 
dreary,  gloomy  afternoon  in  late  November — I 
was  waiting  in  a  coupe  at  the  door  of  a  friend's 
house  in  Thirty-ninth  street,  and  I  fell  to  watch- 
ing a  poor  devil  of  a  man  who  had  sat  down  in 
a  church  door  opposite. 

"  I  thought  he  was  the  result  of  some  corner 
ginmill  until  he  lifted  his  miserable  head  and 
showed  a  lean,  anxious,  but  perfectly  sober 
face,  and  I  made  up  my  mind  that  I  would  not 
leave  the  spot  without  an  effort  to  help  an  evi- 
dently suffering  human  being. 

"It  was  approaching  dinner  time,  and  a  world 
of  returning  citizens  hurried  past  the  homeless 
man.  Perhaps  he  thought  the  story  of  his  need 
was  written  on  his  haggard  face,  for  he  kept  it 
upturned  in  speechless  misery  to  the  callous 
passers  by. 

"  The  side  door  of  the  church  opened,  and 
three  sleek,  well-fed  gentlemen,  one  of  them  in 
clerical  cut  garments,  came  forth. 

"  '  Thank  the  Lord  !'  said  I  to  myself  ;  *  here's 
help  at  last.  They  will  never  fail  to  see  that 
poor  sitter  by  the  gate.' 

"But  they  raised  their  umbrellas,  they  ex- 
changed parting  words  at  his  very  knees,  and 
went  their  several  ways  as  indifferent  to  the 
water-soaked  wretch  who  leaned  against  their 


ingersoll's  charities.  143 

door-post  as  they  would  be  to  a  bottle  of  cod- 
liver  oil  in  a  drug-shop  window. 

"Perhaps  ten  minutes  went  by;  fifty  more 
prosperous  gentlemen  gave  the  poor  man  a  care- 
less look,  when,  piling  down  the  street,  I  saw  a 
big  man  with  a  boy's  face  and  a  very  small  um- 
brella. Robert  Ingersoll,  by  the  big  unlighted 
torch  of  liberty ! 

"  I  made  a  mental  bet  in  a  second  that  this 
man,  this  Cheeryble  brothers  rolled  into  one, 
would  never  bestow  indifference  on  my  miser- 
able claimant.  And  he  didn't.  On  he  lum- 
bered, into  one  puddle  and  out  of  another,  re- 
volving some  pleasant  circumstance  in  his  mind, 
for  almost  a  smile  played  over  his  broad,  jolly 
face.  He  plodded  straight  by  my  man,  his  head 
bent.  Was  it  possible  he  didn't  see  him,  or, 
seeing  him,  would  display  the  same  Christian 
indifference  I  had  been  watching  for  twenty 
minutes  ? 

"  No,  bless  him  !  He  halted  in  the  pleasant- 
est  puddle  on  the  block  ;  he  turned  an  inquiring 
look  on  the  lowly  wayfarer ;  he  held  the  small 
umbrella  carefully  over  his  humble  brother  that 
the  streaming  tips  might  not  add  a  drop  to  his 
streaming  misery.  I  watched  him  question  the 
sitter  by  the  tabernacle,  and  as  the  answers 
were  given  from  the  pitiful  face,  a  sympathetic 
interest  shone  on  my  good  Samaritan's.  He 
stretched  forth  his  hand  and  helped  the  man  to 
his  feet ;  he  steadied  him  for  a  moment,  for  the 
drenched  wretch  was  ill,  and  finally  Mr.  Inger- 
soll, who  had  been  heading  eastward,  reversed 
his  engines,  took  the  poor  man  by  the  arm,  and 
went  off  to  the  west,  piloting,  sustaining,  com- 
forting, and,  I  have  no  doubt,  providing  for  a 
woe  it  had  struck  no  other  man  to  relieve  during 
all  the  afternoon. 

"  I've   seen  Robert  Ingersoll  in  very  swell 


144  ingersoll's  charities. 

company.  I've  seen  him  in  more  dress-coat 
than  would  run  a  Delmonico  ball— j];uests  and 
waiters.  I've  seen  him  when  he  thought  he 
looked  well  enough  to  have  his  picture  taken. 
But  I  could  see  a  nimbus  round  his  trouser-legs 
and  a  halo  round  his  shirt-collar  as  he  paddled 
off  down  the  street  with  the  famished  wanderer 
of  the  church-gate,  and  I  know  he  was  the 
finest  looking  man  in  the  United  States  that 
afternoon. 

"Just  all  that  incident  indicated  I  heard  him 
say  in  Chickering  Hall  the  other  night.  Through 
all  the  magnificent  passages  of  his  splendid  ap- 
peal for  the  poor  and  down-trodden  I  could  see 
the  old  picture  framed  by  the  coupe  window, 
and  I  shall  never  cease  to  remember  thankfully 
the  time  when  he  did  what  I  wanted  to  do,  and 
what  I  sat  in  the  rain  planning  how  to  do." 

The  Chickering  Hall  speech  Mrs.  Fiske  al- 
ludes to  is  the  "Lay  Sermon,"  and  it  is  evident 
that  the  opening  passage,  a  quotation  of  King 
Lear's  prayer  for  the 

"  Poor,  naked  wretches,  whereso'er  you  are, 
That  bide  the  pelting  of  this  pitiless  storm," 

recalled  it  to  her  mind.  This  magnificent 
appeal  for  the  poor  was  the  lecture  given 
for  the  benefit  of  the  American  Secular  Union, 
and  with  the  proceeds  of  which  the  Union  paid 
the  expenses  of  its  convention. 

Still  another  little  story  makes  public  one  of 
the  innumerable  instances  when  Colonel  Inger- 
soll  has  helped  some  deserving  person  to  win 
his  or  her  own  livelihood.  It  was  first  told  in 
the  New  York  Sun : 


ingersoll's  charities.  145 

"Every  night  before  I  sleep  I  say,  *God  bless 
Bob  Ingersoll,' "  said  a  young  lady  to  a  Sun  re- 
porter recently.     "Why?     Well,  I'll  tell  you. 

"Everything  has  been  going  wrong  with  me 
lately.  I've  been  what  you  would  probably  call 
'  playing  in  hard  luck.'  I've  lost  all  my  money, 
my  income  has  been  stopped,  and  I've  been  for 
the  first  time  in  my  life  thrown  on  my  own  re- 
sources entirely.  I  tried  everywhere  to  get  em- 
ployment. I  am  willing  to  do  anything,  but 
everywhere  I've  been  confronted  with  the  ques- 
tion :  '  What  experience  have  you  had  in  this 
line?'  Not  having  had  any,  it  has  been  simply 
impossible  for  me  to  get  a  start  even — and  it 
sounds  funny  to  me  when  I  say  it — even  at  tying 
up  bundles.  No  one  knows,  no  one  can  realize 
until  she  is  thrown  into  the  world  unexpectedly, 
how  hard,  oh,  how  hard  it  is  for  a  woman  to 
get  employment  in  this  great,  big,  dear  old  New 
York. 

"  Failing  at  every  turn  and  getting  poorer  and 
poorer,  I  went  to  a  clergyman  whom  everybody 
knows,  and  whom  I  had  known  in  prosperity 
personally.  Going  around  among  the  stores 
was  bad  enough,  but  this  was  worse.  Still,  I 
had  known  him,  and  I  was  now  cordially  received 
until  I  had  made  known  the  object  of  my  call, 
and  then  I  was  informed  very  sweetly  that  '  we 
have  so  many  members  of  our  own  congregation 
to  assist,  you  know,  that  really  I — well — I'll  talk 
it  over  with  the  ladies  of  our  society,  and  will 
see  if  we  can't  recommend  you  to  some  place,' 
etc.  And  this  was  about  the  result  with  them 
all. 

"By  this  time  I  was  in  actual  need,  when  the 
thought  occurred  to  me  to  go  to  the  opposite 
extreme  and  see  Robert  Ingersoll,  a  total 
stranger  to  me.  I  knew  he  couldn't  kill  me, 
and  was  sure  I  would  be  at  least  politely  treated. 


146  ingersoll's  charities. 

I  was  sliown  into  his  private  office  with  my 
heart  beating  furiously,  my  brain  in  a  whirl, 
and  without  an  idea  of  what  I  should  say  first. 
We  shook  hands,  and  showing  me  to  a  chair 
opposite  to  him,  lie  said:  'Sit  down,  please, 
and  let's  see  what  the  trouble  is,'  with  such  a 
kindly,  cordial  smile  that  I  was  at  once  at  ease, 
and  told  him  plainly  just  what  a  predicament  I 
was  in.  He  watched  me  closely  and  questioned 
me  shrewdly,  and  then  kept  people  waiting 
while  he  gave  me  a  lot  of  his  precious  time  and 
just  such  friendly,  fatherly  advice  as  I  have 
been  yearning  for.  I  could  have  just  hugged 
him,  while  my  eyes  were  full  of  tears.  I  felt 
already  rich  with  his  earnest,  sympathetic 
words,  but  before  I  left  he  voluntarily  helped 
me  substantially.  Then  he  came  way  out  to  the 
door  with  me,  and,  after  asking  me  to  let  him 
know  how  I  got  along,  his  last  words  were,  as 
he  shook  my  hand:  'Good-bye  ;  success  to  you.' 
"  I  think  I've  got  a  little  start  now,  and  that's 
why  I  say  every  night  before  I  sleep,  and  a 
thousand  times  a  day,  God  bless  'Bob'  In- 
gersoll." 

We  have  quoted  these  little  stories  because 
they  are  true  in  substance,  and  show  the  spirit 
of  the  man.  No  one  is  more  easily  touched  to 
tears  by  the  sufferings  and  miseries  of  others 
than  Colonel  Ingersoll,  and  no  one  will  do  more 
to  relieve  these  sufferings  and  miseries  than  he. 
All  his  life  he  has  made  money,  in  later  years 
large  sums  annually,  and  he  has  spent  it  as 
though  a  dollar  was  but  a  "dry  leaf"  and  he 
"the  owner  of  uubounded  forests."  And  the 
better  part  of  it  has  gone  to  help  others. 


HONORS  TO  COLONEL  INGERSOLL.     147 

Colonel  Ingersoll  has  received  many  honors 
from  distinguished  bodies,  which  would  not 
have  been  the  case  had  he  been  what  the  little 
preachers  would  have  the  people  believe  him 
to  be.  When  Roscoe  Conkling  died,  the  legis- 
lature of  New  York  determined  to  hold  memo- 
rial services,  that  the  representatives  of  the 
people  of  the  state  might  put  on  record  their 
appreciation  of  Mr.  Conkling's  public  services. 
On  April  25,  1888,  H.  J.  Coggeshall  and  James 
W.  Husted,  for  the  legislature,  telegraphed 
Colonel  Ingersoll  as  follows  : 

"  You  are  the  unanimous  choice  of  the  legis- 
ative  committee  to  deliver  the  memoral  ad- 
dress in  the  assembly  chamber  in  honor  of  the 
late  Roscoe  Conkling." 

Colonel  Ingersoll  accepted  the  invitation,  and 
his  address  was  printed  by  the  state,  and  ten 
thousand  copies  distributed  at  the  state's  ex- 
pense. The  assembly  chamber  was  not  large 
enough  to  hold  the  audience,  and  3,500  were 
crowded  into  the  Academy  of  Music  and  over 
2,000  were  turned  away  for  want  of  room.  In 
moving  a  vote  of  thanks  to  the  Colonel,  Assem- 
blyman Husted  said :  "  On  behalf  of  the  legis- 
lature of  the  state  of  New  York  and  the  people 
of  the  state,  I  move  a  vote  of  thanks  be  ten- 
dered to  the  speaker,  who  has  delivered  an 
oration  never  excelled  by  Demosthenes  and 
never  equaled  by  Cicero."  In  seconding  the 
motion,   Senator   Coggeshall   said :  "  After  the 


148     HONORS  TO  COLONEL  INGERSOLL= 

masterly  address  we  have  listened  to,  anything 
I  might  say  would  be  as  silver.  Silence  would 
be  golden.  Yet  as  one  who  knew  the  deceased 
intimately,  who  admired  him  deeply,  I  feel  that 
I  must  second  the  motion  just  made."  The 
motion  was  carried  by  3,500  "  ayes." 

Think  a  "  drinking  character,"  a  "depraved, 
profane,  and  vicious  "  man,  would  get  an  invita- 
tion from  the  legislature  of  New  York  state  to 
address  them  on  one  of  the  most  important 
occasions?  or  that  such  a  person  would  get  an 
ovation  like  that  ? 

The  ministers  who  repeat  these  lies  must 
take  the  population  of  the  whole  world  to  be 
fools ! 

In  1890,  after  Colonel  Ingersoll  had  lived  in 
this  city  several  years,  and  the  lawyers  had  had 
time  to  find  out  all  about  him,  he  was  chosen 
as  the  orator  at  the  annual  meeting  of  the  New 
York  State  Bar  Association,  and  delivered  be- 
fore it  his  famous  plea  for  the  erring,  called 
"  Crimes  Against  Criminals."  The  great  hall 
in  which  he  spoke  was  filled  with  the  mos": 
fashionable  people  of  the  state,  with  great  law- 
yers and  distinguished  judges,  and  not  one  so 
much  as  suspected  that  he  was  listening  to  a 
profane,  depraved,  and  vicious  man  !  Certainly, 
the  members  of  his  own  profession  would  have 
known  something  about  it  if  such  had  been  the 
truth.  There  are  no  men  in  the  world  more 
jealous  of  their  professional  honor  than  the 
members  of  the  New  York  Bar,  and  no  member 


HONORS  TO  COLONEL  INGERSOLL.      149 

thereof  stands  higher  in  the  estimation  of  his 
fellow  lawyers  than  Colonel  IngersoU,  and  none 
among  them  has  a  bigger  reputation  for  char- 
acter and  ability,  for  learning  and  resource,  for 
absolute  and  unimpeachable  integrity,  for  fair- 
ness to  opponents  and  loyalty  to  clients,  for 
power  with  a  jury  and  deserved  consideration 
from  the  judges,  than  he.  This  is  a  matter 
of  public  fame.  Everybody  in  New  York,  who 
knows  anything  at  all  upon  the  subject,  knows 
it.  And  the  whole  country  might  know  it  if 
they  would  only  make  inquiries  before  making 
up  their  minds. 

Another  occasion  when  the  great  men  of  this 
country  gave  Colonel  IngersoU  the  post  of  honor 
was  at  the  Grant  Banquet  and  reunion  of  the 
Army  of  the  Tennessee  at  Chicago,  November 
13,  1879.  There  were  present,  General  Grant, 
Gen.  John  A.  Logan,  Col.  Wm.  F.  Vilas,  Gen. 
Stewart  L.  Woodford,  General  Pope,  General 
Wilson,  Emery  Storrs,  and  Mark  Twain,  as 
speakers,  and  the  guests  were  some  of  the  most 
distinguished  men  of  the  world.  The  Cincinnati 
Commercial  said  of  the  proceedings :  "  The 
speech  of  the  evening  that  brought  out  the 
greatest  applause  was  made  by  Colonel  Inger- 
soU. He  responded  to  the  toast,  '  The  Volun- 
teer Soldiers,'  and  his  effort  is  only  to  be  com- 
pared with  his  famous  speech  made  at  the 
Soldiers'  reunion  at  Indianapolis  in  1876.  His 
speech  was  the  master  effort." 

Will  the  defaming  ministers  please  say  how 


150      HONOliS  TO  COLONEL  INGERSOLL. 

it  was  that  a  man  so  bad  as  they  represent  the 
Colonel  to  be  could  easily  be  the  leader  in  that 
great  company  ?  Does  a  reckless  and  dissolute 
man  command  the  respect  and  mingle  with  the 
great  of  the  land  ?  Does  a  depraved  and  dis- 
solute life  build  up  character  and  genius  sur- 
passing that  of  the  greatest  soldiers  and 
statesmen  of  the  times  ?  If  so,  we  recommend 
that  a  few  of  the  ministers  become  a  little  reck- 
less, that  they  may  fill  their  empty  pews  and 
find  something  to  do  besides  defaming  a  man 
the  latchets  of  whose  shoes  they  are  not  worthy 
to  unloose. 

Six  years  after  the  meeting  at  the  Academy 
of  Music,  New  York  again  honored  itself  by  in- 
viting Colonel  Ingersoll  to  address  it.  The 
Grand  Army  of  the  Republic  was  again  the  host 
and  again  Colonel  Ingersoll  freely  gave  his  ser- 
vices. Perhaps  a  more  brilliant  and  represent- 
ative assemblage  never  was  seen  in  the  metrop- 
olis of  the  country  than  that  at  the  Metropolitan 
Opera  House  on  Decoration  Day,  1888.  The 
Army,  the  Navy,  the  Press,  the  Law,  the  most 
famous  statesmen,  professional  men,  the  great- 
est orators,  distinguished  clergymen,  were  all 
there  ;  and  the  vast  Opera  House  was  crowded 
to  the  doors  with  the  most  intelligent  of  New 
York's  population.  A  list  of  the  people  there 
who  had  made  national  and  world-wide  reputa- 
tions would  fill  two  pages  of  this  book.  They 
had  met  to  hear  Colonel  Ingersoll  again  eulogize 
the  nation's  dead.     He  was  the  one  man  who 


CONCLUSION.  151 

could  do  it  to  their  complete  satisfaction.  All 
the  great  speakers  of  the  Bar,  the  Army,  the 
pulpit,  the  professions,  had  been  set  aside  for 
him.  Would  this  have  been  done  had  he  shirked 
bis  duty  on  the  battlefield,  or  were  his  charac- 
ter other  than  the  best,  and  his  reputation  other 
than  the  greatest  ?  The  press  of  the  city  the 
next  day  said  :  "  Colonel  Ingersoll  was  received 
with  applause.  Enthusiastic  cheers  greeted  all 
his  points,  and  his  audience  simply  went  wild 
over  his  peroration,  in  which  he  depicted  the 
republic  of  the  future.  It  was  a  grand  oration, 
and  it  was  listened  to  by  enthusiastic  and  ap- 
preciative hearers,  upon  whom  not  a  single 
word  was  lost,  and  in  whose  hearts  every  word 
found  a  responsive  echo." 

Did  any  one  of  the  ministers  who  have  been 
lying  about  Colonel  Ingersoll  ever  have  such  an 
audience,  or  such  compliments  from  the  press  ? 

In  the  preceding  pages  we  have  told  the  truth 
about  these  matters,  and  we  have  conclusively 
shown  that  all  of  the  allegations  against  the 
Colonel  are  false.  Wherever  we  could  we  have 
reproduced  Mr.  Ingersoll's  own  words.  In 
matters  upon  which  he  has  not  spoken,  such  as 
his  army  experience,  wherein  he  himself  was 
solely  concerned,  and  upon  which  he  would  never 
speak,  we  have  produced  the  testimony  of  those 
who  knew.  On  the  "  obscene  literature"  charge 
we  have  given  the  truth  as  taken  from  the 
records  made  at  the  time,   and  of  which  we 


152  CONCLUSION. 

were  personally  cognizant.  Everything  we  have 
adduced  is  capable  of  verification.  We  have 
printed  but  a  few  of  the  positive  testimonials 
to  Colonel  IngersoU's  worth  and  nobility  for 
the  reason  that  to  print  them  all  would  make  a 
volume  of  many  hundred  pages.  Thousands  of 
people  can  testify,  and  have  testified,  that  he 
is  a  man  of  unblemished  character,  of  splendid 
generosity,  of  all  the  qualities  which  right- 
minded  people  admire.  A  list  of  his  good 
deeds  would  make  a  book  as  big  as  an  una- 
bridged dictionary :  a  book  of  his  bad  deeds 
would  be  blank  paper.    And  we  have  shown  : 

That  those  who  speak  ill  of  him  do  not  know 
what  they  are  talking  about. 

That  his  character,  public  and  private,  is 
without  a  flaw. 

That  his  word  is  as  good  as  a  United  States 
bond ;  his  credit  as  good  as  the  United  States 
treasury's. 

That  his  family  is  without  a  stain. 

That  he  is  neither  an  advocate  of  drunken- 
ness, nor  a  Prohibitionist. 

That  hi?  record  in  the  war  was  not  only  good, 
but  that  his  personal  bravery  was  uncommon. 

That  he  participated  in  several  battles,  with 
credit  each  time,  and  that  he  could  have  had 
higher  military  honors  had  he  accepted  them. 

That  he  has  been  opposed  to  slavery  all  his 
public  life. 

That  he  helped  the  black  men  when  the  min- 
isters of  his  town  would  not. 


CONCLUSION.  153 

That  he  never  used  as  his  own  a  sentence  from 
any  othei  author  or  orator. 

That  in  the  town  of  Peoria,  111.,  where  he 
lived  the  longest,  he  is  the  best  loved,  and  has 
the  most  friends. 

That  his  daughters  never  thought  of  joining  a 
church. 

That  he  never  told  his  cousin  that  he  would 
give  all  he  had  if  he  could  believe  as  she  did. 

That  it  was  neither  his  father's  unkindness 
nor  his  mother's  reading  Voltaire  which  made 
him  an  Infidel. 

That  he  never  told  anyone  that  he  had  lec- 
tured against  Christianity  simply  for  the  money 
he  could  make  by  it. 

That  ministerial  challenges  do  not  scare  him, 
and  that  he  has  met  the  best  talent  the  church 
could  induce  to  oppose  him. 

That  he  has  no  time  to  bother  with  small  fry. 

That  Henry  Ward  Beecher  never  likened  him 
to    a   man  robbing   cripples  of  their  crutches. 

That  he  never  was  in  favor  of  repealing  the 
law  against  mailing  vile  literature. 

That  he  did  not  keep  Judge  Black  out  of  the 
North  American  Revieio. 

That  he  never  retorted  in  kind  upon  the  clergy. 

And,  incidentally,  a  good  many  other  things. 

We  do  not,  however,  suppose  that  the  pub- 
lication of  this  pamphlet  will  stop  the  ministers 
from  repeating  the  slanders.  But  we  do  hope 
that  every  friend  of  Mr.  IngersoU's  will  take 
the  trouble  to  call  the  attention  of  the  slanderers 


154  CONCLUSION. 

to  this  refutation  of  their  tales,  and  force  them 
to  apologize.  Every  minister  who  reiterates 
the  charges  should  be  given  a  copy  of  this  pam- 
phlet that  he  may  know  the  truth  and  make 
amends — if  he  be  fair-minded  enough.  If  he 
is  not  sufficiently  fair-minded,  then  a  letter  to 
the  local  paper  should  be  written,  stating  the 
facts  and  exposing  the  minister's  dishonest 
methods.  We  urge  this  line  of  procedure  upon 
every  Freethinker  in  the  land,  not  to  rescue  the 
reputation  of  Colonel  Ingersoll,  for  that  stands 
unassailable,  but  to  show  the  world  how  small 
and  contemptibly  mean  are  his  clerical  enemies. 
And,  in  concluding,  we  want  to  ask  the  Chris- 
tians these  questions  :  If  Colonel  Ingersoll  were 
the  profane,  depraved,  and  vicious  man — acoward 
in  war,  and  a  shyster  in  law — that  they  repre- 
sent, would  he  stand  where  he  does  to-day  in 
this  country — loved  by  millions  and  disliked  by 
none  who  know  him  ?  If  he  were  not  an  able 
lawyer  would  he  get  thousands  of  dollars  as  fee 
in  a  single  case  ?  Would  he  be  engaged  in  the 
largest  cases  before  our  courts  ?  Would  the 
Bar  Association  of  this  state  have  made  him 
the  guest  of  honor  and  the  orator  of  the  day  at 
its  annual  gathering?  If  he  had  been  a  coward 
in  war  would  he  have  been  the  orator  at  the 
Indianapolis  reunion  ?  at  the  Grant  banquet  ?  at 
the  two  greatest  occasions  the  Grand  Army  of 
the  Republic  of  this  city  ever  had  on  Decora- 
tion Day?  Would  the  soldiers  of  his  old  regi- 
ment have   invited   him   to  their  reunion,  and 


CONCLUSION.  155 

wept  tears  of  joy  at  meeting  him  again  ?  Were 
he  other  than  he  is  would  the  legislature  of  the 
great  state  of  New  York  have  unanimously  in- 
vited him  to  deliver  the  eulogy  over  a  man  so 
dear  to  the  people  of  the  state,  one  whom  they 
wanted  to  honor  to  the  fullest  extent,  as  Ptoscoe 
Conkling  ?  If  Colonel  Ingersoll  had  been  de- 
praved, profane,  and  vicious  in  his  home  in 
Peoria,  would  every  senator  and  representative 
in  congress  from  Illinois,  and  all  the  people  and 
press  of  the  state,  irrespective  of  creed  or 
politics,  have  asked  a  president  of  the  United 
States  to  appoint  him  to  represent  this  country 
at  the  court  of  one  of  the  greatest  empires  of  the 
world?  I 

The  clergymen  who  slander  Colonel  Ingersoll 
are  the  greatest  of  knaves,  and  take  the  rest  of 
the  people  to  be  the  greatest  of  fools. 

How  much  better  than  these  prejudiced  de- 
tractions of  Colonel  Ingersoll  by  interested  and 
ignorant  preachers  is  the  estimate  of  him 
by  that  gifted  poet  Edgar  Fawcett,  who  knows 
him  personally  and  well,  knows  his  character 
and  his  work,  which  the  Christians  who  slander 
him  do  not.  We  take  this  poem  from  the  Arena 
of  December,  1893.  It  was  written  long  after 
these  slanders  had  been  concocted — would 
Fawcett  have  written  it  had  they  been  true? 
It  is  a  splendid  and — in  the  face  of  all  that  the 
ministers  say — deserved  tribute  to  a  magnifi- 
cent man,  and  will  well  round  out  this  some- 
what halting  but  altogether  honest  endeavor  to 


156  TO   ROBERT  G.    INQEBSOLL. 

set  the  world  aright  as  to  some  things  concern- 
ing the  greatest  genius  of  our  times,  the  most 
zealous  apostle  of  liberty,  the  strongest  advo- 
cate of  love  and  kindness,  the  most  effective 
foe  of  superstition,  the  most  unostentatiously 
charitable,  and,  according  to  the  unanimous 
testimony  of  those  who  know  him  intimately, 
the  best  all-around  man  that  our  poor  frail 
race  has  yet  produced  : 

TO    ROBERT   G.    INGERSOLL. 

Thou  hast  peered  at  all  creeds  of  the  past,  and 

each  one  hath  seemed  futile  and  poor 
As  a  firefly  that  fades  on  a  marsh,  as  a  wind 

that  makes  moan  on  a  moor ; 
For  thy  soul  in  its  large  love  to  man,  in  its  heed 

of  his  welfare  and  cheer, 
Bids  him  hurl  to  the  dust  whence  they  sprang 

all  idolatries  fashioned  by  fear. 

Not  the  eagle  can  gaze  at  the  sun  with  more 

dauntless  and  challenging  eyes 
Than   thou  at   the  radiance   of  truth  when   it 

rifts  the  dark  durance  of  lies. 
From  thy  birth  wert  thou  tyranny's  foe,  and  its 

deeds  were  disdain  in  thy  sight ; 
Thou  art  leagued  with  the  dawn  as  the  lark  is — 

like  him  dost  thou  leap  to  the  light! 

Having  marked  how  the  world's  giant  woes  for 
the  worst  part  are  bigotry's  brood, 

Thou  hast  hated,  yet  never  with  malice,  and 
scorned  but  in  service  of  good. 

Thy  compassionate  vision  saw  keen  how  simili- 
tude always  hath  dwelt 

Between  fumes  poured  from  altars  to  God  and 
from  flames  haggard  martyrs  have  felt. 


TO   EGBERT   G.    INQERSOLL.  157 

What  more  splendid  a  pity  than  thine  for  the 

anguish  thy  race  hath  endured 
Through    allegiance   to    specters   and   wraiths 

from  the  cohorts  of  fancy  conjured? 
At  the  bold  pomps  of  temple  and  church  is  it 

wonder  thy  wisdom  hath  mourned, 
Since  the  architect,  Ignorance,  reared  them,  and 

Fright,  the  pale  sculptor,  adorned? 

But   sterner   thy   loathing  and  grief  that   the 

priesthoods  have  shamed  not  to  tell 
Of  an  infinite  vengeance  enthroned  in  the  heart 

of  an  infinite  hell ; 
That  they  shrank  not  to  mold  from  void  air  an 

Omnipotence  worship  should  heed 
And  yet  clothed  it  with  ruffian  contempt  for  the 

world's  multitudinous  need. 

Thy  religion  is  loftier  than  theirs;  nay,  with 

vehement  lips  hast  thou  said 
Its  foundations  are  rooted  in  help  to  the  living 

and  hope  for  the  dead. 
All  eternity's  richest  rewards  to  a  spirit  like 

thine  would  prove  vain. 
Were    it   sure   of  but  one    fellow-mortal    that 

writhed  in  uuperishing  pain. 

Like  a  mariner  drifted  by  night  where  tempestu- 
ous wracks  overshade 

Every  merciful  star  that  perchance  might  with 
silvery  pilotage  aid. 

Resolution  and  vigilance  each  close-akin  as  thy 
heart-beat  or  breath. 

Dost  thou  search  in  thy  courage  and  calm  the 
immense  chartless  ocean  of  death. 

There  are  phantoms  ships  that  lurch  up,  and 
tliou  seest  them  and  art  not  allured 

By  their  masts  made  of  glimmering  dream,  by 
their  bulwarks  from  cloudland  unmoored ; 


168  TO  ROBERT  G.    INGERSOLL. 

For  the  helmsmen  that  steer  them  are  mist,  and 
the  sails  they  are  winged  with,  each  one, 

By  the  feverish  hands  of  fanatics  on  looms  of 
delusion  are  spun. 

At  the  vague  stems  are  visages  poised  that  in 
variant  glimpses  appear    •     •     * 

Here  the  swart  and  imperial  Osiris,  the  crescent- 
crowned  Mahomet  here ; 

Or  again,  mystic  Brahma,  with  eyes  full  of 
omens,  monitions,  and  vows  ; 

Or  again,  meek  and  beauteous,  the  Christ,  with 
the  blood-crusted  thorns  on  his  brows. 

But  thou  sayest  in  thy  surety  to  all :  "  Empty 

seemings,  pass  onward  and  fade  f  "     •     •     • 
Not  by  emblems  and    symbols   of  myth  wert 

thou  born  to  be  tricked  and  betrayed  ; 
For  aloof  o'er  the  desolate  blank  thou  discern- 

est,  now  dubious,  now  plain, 
The  expanse  of  one  sheltering  shoreland,  worth 

ardors  untold  to  obtain. 

Full  of  promise,  expectancy,  peace,  in  secure 

sequestration  it  lies, 
Undismayed  by  a  menace  of  storm  from  its  arch 

of  inscrutable  skies.     •     *     * 
Canst  thou  reach  it,  strong  sea-farer  ?      •      •      • 

Yes!  for  the  waves  are  thy  bondsmen  devout. 
Look  I  they  wash  thee  safe-limbed  on  its  coast, 

clinging  firm  to  thy  tough  spar  of  doubt ! 

Eoam  at  large  in  its  glorious  domain  ;  from  its 
reaches  night  half  has  withdrawn; 

Over  inlet,  bay,  meadow,  and  creek  broods  the 
delicate  damask  of  dawn  ; 

Broam  at  large  ;  'tis  a  realm  thou  shouldst  love  ; 
'tis  the  kingdom  where  Science  reigns  king ; 


TO  ROBERT   G.    INQERSOLL.  159 

In  its  lapses  of  grove  and  of  greensward  sleeps 
many  a  crystalline  spring. 

To  the  eastward  are  mountains  remote,  with  ac- 
clivities towering  sublime: 

The  repose  of  their  keen  virgin  peaks  mortal 
foot  hath  not  ventured  to  climb  ; 

In  their  bastions  and  caverns  occult,  in  their 
bleak  lairs  of  glacier  and  stream, 

There  are  treasures  more  copious  and  costly 
than  fable  hath  yet  dared  to  dream. 

Thou  shalt  see  not  their  splendors,  for  fate  may 
retard  through  long  ages  the  hour 

That  in  bounteous  bestowal  at  last  shall  man- 
kind inconceivably  dower. 

Yet  thy  prophecies  err  not,  O  sage  ;  thou  divin- 
est  what  wealth  shall  outpour 

When  exultant  those  proud  heights  of  knowledge 
posterity  sweeps  to  explore. 

Not  for  thee,  not  for  us,  those  dear  days  I    In 

oblivion  our  lots  will  be  cast 
When  the  future  hath  built  firm  and  fair  on  the 

bulk  of  a  petrified  past. 
Yet  its  edifice  hardier  shall  bide  for  the  boons 

fraught  with  help  that  we  give — 
For  the  wrongs  that  we  cope  with  and  slay,  for 

the  lies  that  we  crush  and  outlive  ! 

And  if  record  of  genius  like  thine,  or  of  elo- 
quence fiery  and  deep, 

Shall  remain  to  the  centuries  regnant  from 
centuries  lulled  into  sleep, 

Then  thy  memory  as  music  shall  float  amid 
actions  and  aims  yet  to  be. 

And  thine  influence  cling  to  life's  good  as  the 
sea- vapors  cling  to  the  sea  1 


APPENDIX. 


Colonel  Robert  Green  IngersoU  died  of  heart 
disease  at  his  summer  home  in  Dobbs  Ferry,  N.  Y., 
on  Friday,  July  21,  1899.  He  was  nearly  66 
years  of  age,  having  been  born  in  Dresden,  N.  Y., 
August  II,  1833.  The  funeral  was  held  on  Tues- 
day, July  25,  only  the  family  and  a  small  num- 
ber of  near  friends  being  present.  The  siervices 
consisted  of  the  reading  of  Colonel  Ingersoll's 
poem,  "The  Declaration  of  the  Free,"  by  Prof. 
John  Clark  Ridpath,  a  selection  from  his  "  Foun- 
dations of  Faith,"  by  Major  Orlando  J.  Smith, 
and  his  "  Tribute  to  Ebon  C.  IngersoU,"  by  Dr. 
John  L.  Elliott.  The  body  was  cremated  at  Fresh 
Pond,  Long  Island,  on  Thursday,  July  27. 

Probably  the  death  of  no  private  citizen  of  this 
republic  ever  attracted  so  much  attention  as  that 
of  Colonel  IngersoU.  The  press  overflowed  with 
comment  and  anecdote,  in  general  very  favorable 
to  the  character  of  the  deceased,  and  few  clergy- 
men neglected  the  opportunity  to  remark  upon 
the  good  or  ill  which  they  conceived  had  resulted 
from  the  teachings  of  the  great  Agnostic.  That 
a  certain  number  of  lies  should  have  been  told 
was  to  be  expected,  and  it  is  to  refute  some  of  the 
worst  of  these  that  this  appendix  is  added  to  "In- 
gersoU as  He  Is." 

On  July  29,  eight  days  after  Colonel  Ingersoll's 
death,  the  Cincinnati  Enquirer  published  an  inter- 
view with  a  man  who  described  himself  as  "the 
Rev.  Robert  Nourse  of  Washington,  noted  in- 
161 


162  APPENDIX. 

structor,  divine,  and  lecturer,"  which  is  perhaps 
the  worst  piece  of  falsehood  a  reputable  paper 
could  print.  Nourse's  crime  is  made  the  blacker 
by  his  pretense  that  he  was  an  acquaintance  of 
Colonel IngersoU's,  "knowing  him  well,"  he  said. 

If  this  malicious  and  mendacious  interview  had 
been  confined  to  one  paper  Mr.  IngersoU's  friends 
could  well  afford  to  ignore  the  cruel  charges,  but 
it  has  been  copied  by  all  the  dishonest  and  mean 
journals  of  the  country,  we  should  judge,  and  it 
will  delude  thousands  of  honest  people  who  can- 
not know  the  truth.  Fortunately  those  who 
knew  Colonel  Ingersoll  at  his  home  in  Peoria, 
111.,  are  still  alive  and  can  testify  for  their  dead 
friend.  Following  will  be  found  what  they  have 
to  say,  as  well  as  what  we  know  of  our  own 
knowledge. 

But  first  we  will  print  the  interview  in  order 
that  the  Rev.  Mr.  Nourse's  blackness  of  heart  may 
be  seen  in  all  its  hideousness,  for  he  is  a  good 
specimen  of  the  clerical  detractors  of  the  great 
Freethinker  now  silent  in  death : 

' '  The  newspapers  got  me  a  little  mixed  in  regard  to  the 
occurrence  at  Mt.  Vernon."  he  said,  "when  we  prayed  for 
Mrs.  Ingersoll  and  her  daughters.  I  was  lecturing  on 
'Jekyll  and  Hyde' — not  against  Infidelity — when  the 
storm  came,  and  I  said  :  '  As  this  is  the  time  when  the 
body  of  Robert  Ingersoll  is  being  borne  to  the  crematory, 
let  us  bow  our  heads  in  prayer  and  invoke  divine  comfort 
and  solace  for  the  widow  and  daughters.'  A  Catholic  has 
since  written  a  beautiful  piece  about  the  incident,  in  which 
he  says :  '  That  prayer  will  remain  a  rainbow  on  the  throne 
forever. ' ' ' 

"Do  you  believe,  doctor,"  asked  the  Enquirer  man, 
"that  the  soul  of  Ingersoll  went  straight  to  sheol,  as  many 
of  the  orthodox  are  inclined  to  think  ?' ' 

"He  may  be  given  another  chance  in  the  world  beyond, 
the  same  as  some  of  us.  I  knew  him  well,  and  am  familiar 
with  his  life  from  boyhood  to  the  urn.  He  had  the  heart  of 
a  Christian  and  the  head  of  an  Atheist.  He  believed  in  a 
supreme  being  and,  since  the  death  of  his  brother,  in  im- 
mortality." 

"  Do  you  believe  he  was  sincere  in  all  he  said  and  did?" 


APPENDIX.  163' 

"  In  his  younger  days  I  believe  that  he  was  sincere  and 
spoke  his  convictions,  but  in  his  later  life  he  was  not  cock- 
sure of  his  position.  He  was  a  very  dissipated  and  demor- 
alized young  man,  a  pothouse  polit.cian  in  Peoria,  but 
after  his  marriage  his  wife  had  a  restraining  influence  over 
him  and  made  him  a  moral  man.  She  did  not  share,  in 
full  at  least,  his  Infidel  views,  but  his  daughters,  who  par- 
took of  his  nature  and  views,  have  never  been  inside  of  a 
church,  I  understand. 

"  It  is  a  remarkable  fact  that  where  stood  his  law  office  in 
Peoria,  where  he  first  commenced  his  Infidel  writings, 
there  now  stands  a  $125,000  Y.  M.  C.  A.  No  Christian 
could  successfully  combat  Ingersoll  in  controversy,  be- 
cause he  could  not  use  the  same  weapons.  His  strongest 
and  most  effective  weapon  was  ridicule.  To  go  against 
him  was  like  fighting  a  duel  with  a  sword  against  a  pistol. 
He  could  ridicule  anything,  and  yet  he  was  exceedingly 
sensitive  and  could  not  stand  ridicule  himself.  He  was  a 
coward  in  this  respect,  and  this  is  why  he  refused  to  meet 
antagonists  in  the  forum.  I  challenged  him  to  public  de- 
bate on  the  Bible  and  the  Christian  religion,  but  he 
declined.  Sam  Jones  challenged  him,  but  he  backed  out. 
It  would  have  been  great  to  have  heard  those  two  pitted 
against  each  other.  The  Infidel  would  have  found  a  foe- 
man  worthy  of  his  steel  and  well  armed  for  the  fray  in 
Jones.  Ingersoll  loved  money,  but  he  lived  up  all  he  made, 
and  that  was  sometimes  $50,000  a  year.  I  saw  them  hand 
him  a  check  for  $6,000  as  his  share  of  the  receipts  of  one 
lecture  in  Chicago.  He  turned  to  Buffalo  Bill,  who  was 
present,  and  said  : 

"  '  God,  but  don't  they  like  to  hear  the  gospel  preached?' 
"  He  was  the  most  profane  man  I  ever  knew  or  heard 
of.  A  singular  thing  about  him  was  that  you  could  go  to 
him  with  a  story  of  distress,  anyone  from  the  street,  and  if 
he  believed  in  its  sincerity  he  would  put  his  hand  in  his 
pocket  and  hand  out  $50,  but  you  could  not  collect  a  $50 
debt  of  him.  He  would  not  speak  unless  paid  for  it. 
Some  years  ago  there  was  a  meeting  in  Poughkeepsie,  N. 
Y.,  of  Freethinkers,  and  many  of  the  leading  lights  were 
there  to  speak  gratis.  Ingersoll  was  there  lecturing,  and 
was  invited  to  speak.  The  opera  house  was  jammed  with 
several  housand  people.  A  committee  went  to  Ingersoll's 
hotel  to  escort  him  to  the  stage.  To  its  astonishment  he 
told  it  he  would  not  go  unless  it  paid  him  $300.  It  told  him 
it  was  too  late  to  get  the  money  and  that  the  audience  was 
already  clapping  for  him.  He  said  he  didn't  care  a  d— n 
about  the  audience,  but  must  have  the  $300  before  he 
would  budge  a  foot.     They  skurried  around  and  got  the 


16i  APPENDIX. 

$300,    and  he  cheerily   went    to    the    opera    house    and 
charmed  the  audience  of  5,000  or  6,000  people." 

With  Mr.  Nourse's  belief  as  to  Colonel  Inger- 
soU's  sincerity,  and  with  his  sensational  posing  in 
prayer,  we  have  nothing  to  do.  Dishonest  himself, 
he  may  think  Colonel  Ingersoll  was  so  likewise, 
or  he  may  not :  his  word  has  no  significance 
either  way.  But  with  his  staternents  we  can  deal 
directly,  and  we  say  in  the  plainest  possible  lan- 
guage that  he  has  lied  most  shamefully  and  in  the 
crudest  way.     He  is  a  human  hyena. 

So  far  as  we  are  able  to  ascertain,  the  Rev.  Mr. 
Nourse  is  unknown  to  any  one  but  himself,  and 
so  has  no  reputation  to  lose.  What  he  said  is  of 
importance  only  because  of  the  medium  he  de- 
luded into  printing  his  advertising  interview  and 
the  extensiveness  with  which  it  has  been  copied.  Of 
himself  he  is  not  worth  noticing,  and  assuredly 
would  receive  no  notice  from  any  friend  of  the 
illustrious  dead. 

Colonel  Ingersoll  did  not  believe  in  any  su- 
preme being  which  the  theologians  of  any  religion 
have  yet  defined.  He  never  declared  himself  an 
Atheist,  because  he  did  not  wish  to  be  as  dogmatic 
as  the  Christian,  and  would  not  commit  himself  on 
any  subject  where  he  had  no  positive  proof.  But 
he  said  many,  many  times  that  "the  supernatural 
does  not  and  cannot  exist."  The  story  that  once, 
when  he  came  from  the  bedside  of  President 
Garfield,  who  was  dying  from  the  murderous 
attack  of  the  Christian  Guiteau,  he  said,  "  God 
save  the  nation  "  is  a  falsehood  from  whole  cloth. 
It  was  too  absurd  a  story  for  him  to  deny,  but  let 
us  deny  it  for  him.  It  is  absolutely  untrue,  and 
he  is  no  friend  to  Colonel  Ingersoll  who  repeats  it. 

Mrs.  Ingersoll  shared,  and  shares,  her  hus- 
band's beliefs  in  full.  All  of  the  family  were,  and 
are,  of  the  same  mind.  There  is  no  variableness 
nor  shadow  of  turning. 


APPENDIX.  166 

The  statement  that  there  is  a  Y.  M.  C.  A.  build- 
ing on  the  ground  where  his  law  oflSce  stood  is 
only  an  attempt  to  make  capital  out  of  nothing. 
On  the  ground  where  stood  a  house  in  which  he 
lived  for  a  little  while  the  Y.  M.  C.  A.  erected  an 
oflBce  building.  And  in  that  block  is  now  the 
office  of  the  committee  which  is  erecting  a  monu- 
ment to  him.  But  where  his  house  was  is  now 
a  hotel,  while  the  house  itself  is  moved  back  and 
used  as  the  headquarters  of  the  whisky  trust.  If 
the  erection  of  the  office  building  by  the  Y.  M.  C. 
A.  be  considered  a  victory  of  the  Lord  over  the 
Devil,  the  present  use  of  his  house  shows  that 
his  Satanic  majesty  is  still  in  the  ring,  and  the  fight 
between  them  over  Ingersoll's  real  estate  is  a 
standoff,  as  the  wicked  would  say.  But  what  of  it, 
any  way?  There  is  within  a  stone's  throw  of  The 
Truth  Seeker  office  a  theatre  which  used  to  be  a 
church. 

The  reason  why  Colonel  Ingersoll  did  not  meet 
Sam  Jones  and  this  Nourse  is  not  any  that  Nourse 
alleges,  but  one  not  so  flattering  to  clerical  vanity. 
Colonel  Ingersoll  was  never  afraid  to  "  meet  an- 
tagonists in  the  forum,"  and  as  Thorndike  Rice 
said  once,  he  would  not  be  apt  to  run  from  men  like 
Judge  Black  (to  say  nothing  of  such  fellows  as 
Sam  Jones)  to  meet  Gladstone  and  Cardinal  Man- 
ning. The  reason  why  Colonel  Ingersoll  would 
not  meet  Jones  and  the  still  smaller  fry  who  sought 
notoriety  in  challenging  him  was  because  they 
were  too  insignificant,  to  put  it  plain.  They 
might  as  well  realize  it  now  as  later,  for  the  world 
knows,  even  if  their  egotism  will  not  permit  the 
truth  to  penetrate  their  thick  skulls. 

If  anyone  believes  that  Colonel  Ingersoll  ever 
made  any  such  remark  as  this  Nourse  says  he 
made  to  Buffalo  Bill — like  a  fake  showman — his 
is  too  hopeless  a  case  of  Idiocy  for  us  to  under- 


IGG  APPENDIX. 

take  to  treat.  That  Colonel  IngersoU  was  paid 
for  his  lectures  in  Chicago  everyone  knows,  and 
if  he  got  six  thousand  dollars  for  one  lecture  it 
was  worth  eveiy  cent  of  it.  But  Nourse  says  that 
which  is  not  so  when  he  says  he  saw  a  check  for 
that  amount  handed  the  Colonel.  While  we  were 
not  there,  we  will  guarantee  that  he  was  not 
either,  and  it  is  within  our  accurate  knowledge 
what  the  size  of  the  check  was  at  the  largest 
meeting  the  Colonel  addressed  in  that  city. 

That  a  debt  of  $50  was  not  collectable  from 
Colonel  IngersoU  without  trouble  is  the  silliest 
charge  that  has  yet  been  made,  and  we  did  not 
think  until  we  read  this  interview  that  even  a 
reverend  would  be  so  reckless  as  to  make  it. 
Paying  debts  was  almost  a  mania  with  IngersoU, 
and  he  not  only  paid  his  own  but  those  of  several 
others.  We  have  heard  of  one  instance  in  which 
he  paid  debts  of  a  deceased  relative  amounting  to 
many  thousands  of  dollars,  and  of  many  other 
cases  involving  smaller  amounts.  The  charge  is 
not  only  entirely  groundless— it  is  false  to  the 
point  of  absurdity.  Only  a  low-lived  liar  would 
have  invented  it. 

The  Rev.  Nourse's  account  of  the  collision 
between  IngersoU  and  a  committee  of  Freethink- 
ers at  Poughkeepsie  is  a  pure  fabrication.  There 
has  not  been  for  at  least  twenty-five  years 
any  large  meeting  of  Freethinkers  at  Pough- 
keepsie, and  we  have  no  record  that  there  ever 
was  such  a  meeting.  It  is  the  God-strike-'em- 
dead-for-blasphemy  story  which  should  be  cred- 
ited to  that  town.  But  there  was  a  large  meeting 
of  Freethinkers  a  few  years  ago  at  Albany,  N.  Y., 
and  Colonel  IngersoU  spoke  at  it.  He  not  only 
did  not  get  paid  for  speaking,  but  he  gave  the 
proceeds  of  his  lecture  to  the  Freethinkers'  society, 
some  eight  hundred  or  more  dollars.  The  writer 
of  this  was  treasurer  of  the  society,  and  speaks 


APPENDIX.  167 

from  personal  knowledge,  for  he  collected  the 
money  from  the  theatre  treasurer  and  paid  it  out 
for  the  benefit  of  the  society. 

We  have  purposely  left  to  the  last  the  allega- 
tion that  in  his  younger  days  Colonel  Ingersoll 
was  "  very  dissipated,"  for  on  that  we  have  much 
to  present.  The  charge  is  persistently  made,  and 
even  one  man  who  means  well  ignorantly  repeats 
it  in  a  memorial  sermon,  and  so  mars  what  would 
otherwise  have  been  a  splendid  tribute,  coming 
from  a  minister  of  "  the  gospel  of  love."  On  this 
point  we  reprint  from  the  Peoria  Jownal  of 
August  4,  1899,  what  Colonel  Ingersoll's  old 
friends  have  to  say.  Their  words  are  to  the  point 
and  conclusive.  The  John  W.  Kimsey,  who  ob- 
tained this  testimony,  was  a  lieutenant  in  Colonel 
Ingersoll's  regiment  during  the  late  domestic  diflS- 
culties  in  this  country.     The  Journal  says: 

Mr.  Alexander  S.  Bacon,  an  attorney  of  New  York  city 
and  a  member  of  the  law  firm  of  Nichols  &  Bacon,  re- 
cently wrote  to  Sheriff  John  Kimsey  regarding  these  stories, 
and  Mr.  Kimsey's  answer,  given  from  his  own  personal 
knowledge  and  intimate  acquaintance  with  Ingersoll,  to- 
gether with  the  stories  of  many  of  the  old-time  citizens  of 
Peoria  which  he  has  taken  the  trouble  to  gather  together, 
will  prove  very  interesting  r-^ading  to  the  many  friends  the 
great  orator  had  in  this  city  and  throughout  the  world,  and 
will  no  doubt  hush  the  tongues  of  those  who  have  maligfned 
the  memory  of  the  illustrious  dead  by  repeating  stories  for 
which  they  had  no  voucher. 

The  following  is  the  full  text  of  the  letter  of  inquiry 
from  Mr.  Bacon  and  the  answer  of  Mr.  Kimsey: 

New  York,  July  22,  1899. 
Sheriff,  Peoria,  111.,  Dear  Sir:  I  have  been  advised  by  a 
very  prominent  old  resident  of  Peoria  that  Col.  Robert  G. 
Ingersoll,  lately  deceased,  was,  while  a  resident  of  Peoria, 
in  his  earlier  years,  say,  before  i860,  of  a  dissolute  charac- 
fer  and  frequently  an  occupant  of  the  Peoria  jail.  My  in- 
formant, whose  reputation  is  beyond  reproach,  alleges  this 
on  his  own  personal  knowledge,  and  there  seems  to  be  no 
reason   to  doubt  it.     Will   you  kindly  favor  me  with  his 


1C8  APPENDIX. 

police  record,  if  any,  during  those  earlier  years,  and  greatly 
oblige. 

Please  send  bill  of  charges. 

Yours  very  truly,       Alexander  S.  Bacon. 

Those  who  know  John  Kimsey  will  recognize  the  answer 
to  the  letter  as  characteristic  of  the  man.  He  has  been 
known  for  years  as  "Honest  John  Kimsey,"  Blunt  as  he 
can  be,  yet  tender-hearted  and  as  true  as  steel  to  a  friend, 
he  gives  voice  to  his  expressions  in  a  terse,  candid  way 
that  is  always  convincing. 

Peoria,  III.,  July  28,  1899. 

Alexander  S.  Bacon,  Esq.,  New  York,  Dear  Sir:  In  an- 
swer to  yours  of  the  22d,  receipt  of  which  I  have  previously 
acknowledged,  requesting  me  to  furnish  you  with  the  police 
and  jail  record  of  R.  G.  IngersoU  (now  deceased)  prior  to 
the  year  i860,  etc. 

I  wish  to  note  in  the  beginning  that  on  other  occasions 
similar  questions  to  those  you  now  propound  to  me  have 
been  asked  of  the  Colonel's  old  neighbors  and  acquaint- 
ances. I  could  readily  perceive  the  object  then,  but  on 
this  occasion  I  am  at  a  loss  to  kno'Osr  your  motive.  How- 
ever, I  take  it,  Mr.  Bacon,  that  you  mean  all  right,  and  I 
will  endeavor  in  my  answer  to  state  facts. 

I  have  personall/  known  Mr.  IngersoU  since  1861;  was  a 
member  of  his  regiment  and  was  with  him  in  three  engage- 
ments, namely:  The  battles  of  Shiloh,  Corinth,  and  Lex- 
ington. He  was  taken  prisoner  at  the  latter  and  did  not 
return  to  his  regiment  to  perform  any  more  military  ser- 
vices after  he  was  paroled.  A  braver  or  truer  soldier  than 
he  never  drew  a  sword,  and  no  commanding  officer  ever 
went  to  the  front  who  was  better  liked  and  more  respected 
by  his  men  than  he. 

As  he  practiced  law  in  this  city  for  a  number  of  years 
after  the  civil  war,  and  as  I  was  connected  with  the  sheriff's 
office  about  all  of  the  time  during  IngersoU's  home  in  this 
city,  after  the  time  mentioned  above,  I  necessarily  met 
him  almost  daily.  During  that  time  I  saw  nothing  in  his 
habits  or  conduct  different  from  what  he  has  a  reputation 
of  practicing  at  home  and  abroad,  while  a  resident  of  your 
city  (New  York). 

You  say  you  have  been  credibly  informed  by  a  promi- 
nent old  resident  of  this  city  that  Colonel  IngersoU  in  his 
earlier  years  (say  before  i860)  was  a  dissolute  character 
and  frequently  occupied  the  Peoria  jail,  etc. 

In  answer  to  this  accusation  I  will  say  that  I  have  full 
access  to  the  records  of  the  Peoria  county  jail,  which  date 
back  to  the  year  1846,  some  years  prior  to  R.  G.  Inger- 


APPENDIX.  169 

soil's  home  in  this  city.  His  name  does  not  appeal  in  said 
record. 

I  called  upon  Charles  P.  Sloan,  who  is  fifty-five  years  of 
age,  and  who  has  been  a  resident  of  this  city  all  his  life. 
He  is  now  desk  clerk  at  police  headquarters  in  this  city, 
and  has  occupied  that  position  for  eighteen  years.  He 
has  charge  of  and  access  to  the  police  records,  the  same 
dating  back  six  years  prior  to  Ingersoll's  residence  in  this 
city.  After  a  careful  examination  of  said  records  by  Mr. 
Sloan,  he  found  that  Mr.  Ingersoll's  name  did  not  appear 
in  said  police  records,  no  charges  ever  having  been  pre- 
ferred against  him  in  the  police-court  of  this  city. 

I  have  also  interviewed  several  old  residents  of  this  city 
as  to  their  knowledge  of  Ingersoll's  early  habits  in  Peoria. 
He  being  such  a  brilliant  young  man,  they,  without  ex- 
ception, readily  could  call  to  mind  all  the  incidents  worthy 
of  note  connected  with  his  early  residence  in  this  city.  I 
will  herewith  submit  to  you  what  a  few  of  them  have  to  say 
on  this  subject : 

Henry  Baldwin,  an  old  and  highly  respected  citizen  of 
Peoria,  said:  "I  am  about  the  same  age  as  Ingersoll. 
Have  lived  in  Peoria  all  my  life  and  was  intimately  ac- 
quainted with  Colonel  Ingersoll  during  the  entire  time  he 
made  hi'?  home  in  Peoria.  I  was  often  in  his  company  and 
have  drank  beer  and  wine  with  him  on  many  occasions, 
but  never  saw  him  under  the  influence  of  liquor  to  the  ex- 
tent that  he  was  either  quarrelsome  or  manifested  a  dispo- 
sition to  become  in  the  least  disorderly.  His  company  was 
desirable  and  accepted  (when  occasion  permitted)  by  all 
the  young  men  of  the  city.  His  apt  story-telling,  mingled 
with  an  inexhaustible  supply  of  brilliant  wit,  kept  every 
one  in  his  hearing,  as  well  as  himself,  in  a  different  mood 
than  that  of  wanting  to  break  the  peace  and  get  them- 
selves locked  up  at  the  city  hall  or  county  jail.  I  have  no 
personal  knowledge  of  Mr.  Ingersoll  ever  being  arrested 
for  any  offense.  I  did  hear  on  one  occasion  of  Bob,  to- 
gether with  several  friends,  building  a  big  bonfire  in  the 
middle  of  the  street  in  celebration  of  some  event,  whereby 
the  boys  used  a  little  too  freely  of  empty  drygoods  boxes 
belonging  to  neighboring  stores,  for  which  the  entire  party 
were  cited  to  appear  before  the  police  justice  for  malicious 
mischief,  etc.  There  were  no  warrants  issued  in  this  case 
nor  anything  more  done  about  it  other  than  probably  the 
young  men  received  a  reprimand  from  the  justice  and  were 
told  to  go  and  sin  no  more." 

Barrett  White,  who  resides  at  No.  227  Green  street,  this 
city,  when  interviewed  said  :  "I  am  seventy  years  of  age, 
have  made  my  home  in  Peoria  continuously  since  the  year 
1847,  and  knew  Colonel  Ingersoll  intimately.     I  was  fre- 


170  APPENDIX. 

quently  in  his  company  during  all  the  time  of  his  residence 
in  this  city,  and  more  particularly  in  that  part  of  the  time 
prior  to  his  marriage,  which,  I  think,  occurred  the  latter  part 
of  1861.  IngersoU  was  the  best  company  and  the  greatest 
entertainer  I  ever  saw.  There  was  no  end  to  his  liberality. 
He  would  not  throw  his  money  at  the  birds,  as  it  were,  but 
no  comrade  of  his  ever  asked  him  for  the  loan  of  money 
that  it  was  denied.  As  long  as  Bob  had  a  dollar  in  his 
pocket  he  would  divide  the  same  with  a  friend  or  g.ve  it 
all  to  a  beggar.  I  never  heard  the  stories  of  his  early  dis- 
sipation until  he  became  famous  the  world  over  as  an  orator, 
politician,  and  Freethinker.  I  knew  that  prior  to  his  mar- 
riage he  was  not  averse  to  taking  a  little  nip  of  the  'Oh-be- 
joyf  ul '  with  us  boys,  but  I  never  saw  him  drunk  in  my 
life,  nor  do  I  believe  he  was  ever  arrested.  Whoevc  r  tells 
that  story  is  either  prejudiced  against  all  kinds  of  the 
Christian  religion  other  than  that  which  he  puts  into 
practice,  whereby  he  expects  to  save  his  own  soul,  or  is  a 
worse  rock-rooted  Democrat  than  I  am  myself.  I  have 
told  Bob  a  hundred  times  that  I  did  not  like  his  anti- 
religious  views  and  hated  his  politics  worse ;  yet,  when  I 
balanced  those  two  things  up  against  that  great  big  heart 
of  his,  which  bore  malice  for  no  living  being,  and  against 
the  many,  many  acts  of  charity  on  his  part  to  the  really 
needy,  when  the  same  had  been  refused  by  others  more 
able  to  give  than  he,  I  have  said  privately  and  publiclj', 
'I  love  and  respect  Colonel  IngersoU.'  I  want  to  em- 
phasize my  belief  that  whoever  may  now  be  telling  of 
what  they  know  about  Colonel  IngersoU's  having  at  any 
time  been  locked  up  in  the  calaboose  or  jail,  are  either 
crazy  or  telling  what  they  know  to  be  a  pack  of  lies.  I  am 
charitable  enough  to  say  that  they  are  affected  with  the 
former  disease. ' ' 

Col.  John  Warner, on  being  interviewed, said :  "  I  am  about 
the  age  of  Colonel  IngersoU.  I  came  to  this  city  when  a 
boy  and  was  here  a  number  of  years  before  the  IngersoU 
brothers  came.  Very  soon  after  their  arrival,  I  became 
acquainted  with  them.  Robert,  or  "  Bob,"  as  they  called 
him,  was  a  single  man  and  of  a  disposition  rather  to  my 
liking,  and  he  and  I  soon  became  fast  friends.  I  was  at 
that  time  engaged  in  the  mercantile  business.  Robert  did 
some  loafing  in  my  store  after  office  hours  and  in  that  way, 
as  before  stated,  we  became  very  thick,  as  it  were.  I  do 
think  we  spent  more  of  our  idle  time  together  than  did  any 
other  two  young  men  in  the  city.  We  both  went  to  the  army 
about  the  same  time,  yet  we  were  not  members  of  the  same 
regiment.  I  was  in  one  department  of  the  army  and  he 
in  another,  hence  I  did  not  have  the  pleasure  of  meeting 
him  while  in  the  service.     We  both  returned  home  about 


APPENDIX.  171. 

the  same  time.  Our  separation,  however,  had  not  in  the 
least  dimmed  my  admiration  for  the  man.  The  only 
change  I  could  see  in  the  Colonel's  habits  after  the  war 
other  than  those  manifested  in  him  before  was  that  he 
could  most  generally  be  found  in  the  company  of  his  family 
after  business  hours,  he  having  married  the  wife  who  noa_ 
survives  him  soon  after  his  enlistment  and  belore  ^S-Xjs^-^ 
ment  left  the  state. 

"  You  say  you  want  to  know  what  I  know  about  Colonel 
Ingersoll's  early  history  in  Peoria.  Well,  as  before  stated, 
my  opportunities  were  such  that  I  think  I  know  as  much,  if 
not  more,  about  the  Colonel's  ways  and  conduct  in  his 
early  years  in  this  city  than  anyone  now  living.  The  noble 
and  generous  hearted  man  is  gone  forever.  I  know  nothing 
so  derogatory  to  his  past  character  that  the  same  should  be 
veiled.  As  others  have  said,  and  I  know  the  same  to  be 
true.  Bob  in  nis  youth  was  of  a  jovial  turn  of  mind  and  no 
one  on  earth  enjoyed  a  little  innocent  fun  better  than  he. 
This  was  most  generally  of  the  nature  of  first  having  a  few 
glasses  of  beer  with  the  boys,  and  then  witty  story  telling 
on  his  part  wotild  follow,  at  which  he  was  such  an  adept 
that  he  could  make  a  minister  of  the  gospel  smile. 

"  I,  in  company  with  half  a  dozen  others,  including 
Ingersoll,  was  out  at  a  late  hour  one  night  celebrating  some 
event,  and  we  wound  up  by  building  a  bonfire  out  of 
empty  boxes  and  barrels.  The  fire  was  so  large  and  we 
made  so  much  noise  that  the  city  marshal  interfered  with 
our  hilarity  and  cited  us  to  appear  before  the  police  magis- 
trate the  next  morning  at  9  o'clock  sharp,  which  verbal 
summons  we  all  obeyed  (no  warrant  having  been  issued). 
Bob  made  an  informal  plea  for  the  boys  to  the  court  in  his 
characteristic  way,  which  had  the  desired  effect  and  the 
matter  was  dropped.  There  was  one  other  occasion  (and 
only  one)  when  Bob,  together  with  a  few  of  his  friends  (I 
being  absent  for  a  wonder)  was  cited  to  appear  before  the 
police  court  at  a  given  hour,  the  offense  charged  being  that 
of  disturbing  the  peace.  There  were  no  warrants  issued  in 
this  case,  the  termination  of  which  was  (if  my  recollection 
serves  me  right)  precisely  the  same  as  in  the  bonfire  case. 

"  On  this  occasion,  one  of  Ingersoll's  companions  was  a 
young  man  who  has  long  since  died,  but  who  lived  long 
enough  to  become  as  famous  throughout  the  United  States 
as  a  Sunday  school  worker  and  Christian  evangelist  as  did 
Ingersoll  by  the  spreading  of  his  Agnostic  doctrine. 

"  I  have  not  the  least  desire  on  my  part  to  defend  Mr. 
Ingersoll's  views  of  the  Bible  or  his  political  creed,  for  I  do 
not  agree  with  him  in  either.  When  he  was  living,  it  was 
no  uncommon  occurrence  for  some  minister  of  the  gospel, 
or  disgruntled  politician,  to  spring  up  out  of  the  woods  and 


172  APPENDIX. 

proclaim  (to  those  who  were  silly  enough  to  give  them  an 
attentive  ear),  in  the  churches  and  upon  the  hilltops,  that 
they  had  just  received  a  message  from  some  one  who 
knew  (' whose  residence  was  in  Peoria'),  that  Col.  R.  G. 
Ingersoll  when  a  young  man  was  the  most  infernal  scape- 
grace that  ever  was  born;  and  would  then  proceed  to  in- 
form their  hearers  of  the  many  scrapes  with  which  he  had 
been  mixed  up,  giving  a  detailed  account  of  each  crime  he 
had  committed;  whereby  he  had  suffered  the  penalty  by 
serving  time  in  either  the  city  prison  or  county  jail.  The 
authority  usually  produced  for  those  infamous  lies  pur- 
ported to  have  been  furnished  by  some  'old  reliable'  making 
his  home  in  Peoria. 

"  My  home  is  in  the  city  of  Peoria.  I  can  be  seen  or 
communicated  with  at  113  Ayres  avenue.  This  city  is  not 
so  large  but  that  I  am  personally  known  by  almost  every 
man,  woman,  and  child  within  its  incorporated  limits,  and 
I  want  to  go  on  record  as  saying  that  what  I  have  told 
Sheriff  Kimsey,  about  Colonel  Ingersoll's  early  life  in  this 
city,  is  the  truth,  the  whole  truth,  and  I  defy  contradiction. 
The  stories  that  have  been  previously  published  and  are 
now  being  circulated,  that  Colonel  Ingersoll  had  at  some 
time  during  his  residence  in  Peoria  been  an  occupant  of 
the  city  prison  or  county  jail  I  declare  to  be  the  most  un- 
adulterated mess  of  rot  ever  uttered  or  published.  The 
man  who  tells  these  stories,  it  matters  not  what  his  reputa- 
tion may  have  been  for  truth  and  veracity  in  the  neighbor- 
hood in  which  he  resides,  I  brand  as  the  most  infamous 
liar  now  living,  or  that  ever  did  live.  Every  time  I  hear 
of  such  reports  being  circulated  about  the  early  habits  of 
the  late  Colonel  Ingersoll  it  makes  my  blood  run  cold  and 
causes  my  belief  of  a  hell  to  become  more  and  more  settled 
in  my  mind.  I  know  there  must  be  some  provision  in  the 
other  world  (after  death)  to  punish  such  people.  There  is 
no  way  of  reaching  them  on  this  earth,  for  they  have  no 
conscience." 

Dr.  William  R,  Hamilton,  being  interviewed,  said:  "I 
have  been  a  resident  of  Peoria  for  fifty-one  years.  Was 
intimately  acquainted  with  Robert  G.  Ingersoll  during  his 
residence  in  this  city."  The  question  being  asked  the 
doctor  as  to  what  he  knew  about  the  habits  of  Ingersoll, 
say  from  the  time  he  came  to  Peoria  up  to  the  year  i860, 
his  answer  was:  "I  have  heard  many  uncomplimentary 
criticisms  concerning  the  Colonel's  mode  of  conduct  during 
the  years  you  have  mentioned  and,  after  a  careful  inquiry 
as  to  their  origin,  I  found  they  emanated  from  some  per- 
son or  persons  who  had  become  intensely  prejudiced  against 
Ingersoll  on  account  of  something  he  had  said  that  did  not 
accord  with  either  their  religious  or  political  views.     The 


APPENDIX.  173 

stories  in  the  first  place  were  exaggerations  of  the  facts 
and,  like  a  rolling  snowball,  never  got  any  smaller. 

"  My  official  position  was  such,  almost  the  entire  time  of 
IngersoU's  residence  in  this  city  up  to  iS6o,  as  to  make  my 
opportunities  certainly  as  good  as  those  of  any  other  citizen 
to  know  how  this  brilliant  young  attorney  was  conducting 
himself.  I  was  a  member  of  the  city  council  from  1853  to 
1856  inclusive,  and  was  elected  mayor  in  the  fall  of  1857 
and  reelected  in  the  fall  of  1858,  my  term  expiring  at  the 
beginning  of  the, winter  of  1859  and  i860.  During  my  time 
as  chief  executive  of  this  city,  the  dates  are  given  as  the 
times  Ingersoll  had  so  forgotten  the  propriety  of  his  own 
manhood  that  he  had,  on  several  occasions  (as  the  report 
goes)  been  locked  up  for  safe  keeping. 

"  I  am  getting  quite  old  and  realize  the  fact  that  my 
memory  for  past  events  is  somewhat  dim,  yet  I  will  assert 
that  I  still  retain  enough  of  my  original  faculties  to  know 
that  such  reports  circulated  about  the  Colonel  are  false  in 
the  extreme.  Men  and  women  who  write  fairy  tales  usu- 
ally have  a  base  or  foundation  on  which  to  build,  but  it 
appears  to  me  that  such  precaution  has  not  been  observed 
by  those  who  may  have  had  the  pleasure  to  first  start  on 
the  wing  those  miserable  lies  about  IngersoU's  early  life. 
I  cannot  conceive  the  object  any  one  could  have  in  so  doing 
at  this  time,  even  though  they  were  true,  but  when  they 
are  such  base  fabrications,  it  is  beyond  my  comprehension 
to  know,  or  even  to  think  I  know,  what  it  all  means. 

"That  bonfire  incident,  as  well  as  the  one  where  Colonel 
Warner  speaks  of  a  young  man's  connection  therewith  who 
afterwards  became  a  noted  evangelist,  I  remember  well, 
and  will  say  that  Colonel  Warner's  statements  to  Sheriff 
Kimsey,  as  they  occurred  and  terminated,  are  true. 

"  I  did  not  share  with  Ingersoll  in  his  Agnostic  views — • 
far  from  it.  Aside  from  that  one  fault  of  his  great  mind, 
which  seemed  to  prejudice  him  with  so  many,  I  believe 
him  to  be  one  of  the  most  noble  men  that  ever  lived  to 
breathe  the  breath  of  life.  I  knew  him  in  a  business  way, 
I  knew  him  in  a  social  way,  and  I  knew  him  around  the 
family  circle.  I  wish  to  say  now  that  if  all  men  and  women 
would  but  follow  in  his  footsteps  and  put  into  practice 
honesty  in  business,  charity  towards  all,  and  love  for  their 
family,  as  he  did,  life  upon  this  earth  would  be  a  perfect 
heaven." 

I  will  enlighten  you  as  to  the  character  of  the  men  who 
have  made  the  statements  herewith  submitted,  as  to  their 
knowledge  of  Colonel  IngersoU's  early  life  while  a  resident 
of  this  city. 

First,  Henry  Baldwin  is  an  old  and  highly  respected 
citizen  of  Peoria.  He  was  elected  mayor  in  the  fall  of  1B62, 


174  APPENDIX. 

serving  the  city  in  that  capacity  one  full  term.  He  has  been 
engaged  in  the  foundry  business  and  the  repairing  of  ma- 
chinery for  over  forty  years.  His  place  of  business  is 
situated  at  No.  717  S.  Adams  street  and  his  residence  No. 
112  Flora  avenue. 

Barrett  White  has  lived  here  long  enough  to  see  Peoria 
shed  her  swaddling-clothes  and  become  the  second  city  in 
this  state.  He  is  known  by  every  old  citizen  in  the  city 
and  svirrounding  countrjr.  He  was  elected  justice  of  the 
peace  in  1S62  and  reelected  from  term  to  term  until  he  had 
filled  that  office  for  thirty-one  years  without  a  break.  His 
word  is  as  good  as  gold,  as  every  one  who  knows  him  will 
testify. 

Col.  John  Warner  has  lived  here  since  he  was  a  mere 
boy.  He  was  engaged  in  a  merchandise  business  for  a  few 
years  prior  to  the  Civil  war,  at  which  time  he  raised  a 
regiment  and  served  as  its  colonel  with  honor  to  himself 
and  country  to  the  end  of  the  war.  He  has  eight  times 
been  elected  mayor  of  this  city  (something  unprecedented 
in  a  city  of  this  size),  hashing  completed  his  eighth  term  only 
last  May.  He  is  personally  known  to  nine-tenths  of  the 
people  in  this  city,  and  known  by  them  to  be  a  man  whose 
integrity  and  truth  have  never  been  questioned.  He  is  not 
in  any  business  at  present.  His  residence  is  No.  113  Ayres 
avenue. 

Dr.  William  R.  Hamilton  is  one  of  the  early  practitioners 
of  this  city  and,  on  account  of  old  age  and  from  the  further 
fact  that  he  has  enough  of  this  world's  goods  to  keep  the 
wolf  from  the  door  the  remainder  of  his  days,  he  has  long 
since  gone  out  of  practice.  The  old  doctor  is  in  full  pos- 
session of  all  the  sterling  qualities  in  the  make-up  of  a 
gentleman  of  the  old  school.  He  is  well  known  and  highly 
respected  by  all  the  old  settlers.  His  reputation  as  an 
honest  man  and  for  always  speaking  the  truth  has  never 
been  questioned. 

I  could  furnish  you  with  statements  in  regard  to  Inger- 
soU's  early  habits  from  many  more  old  residents  of  this  city 
which  would  not  vary  one  iotx  from  those  herewith  sub- 
mitted. I  selected  those  who,  I  was  advised,  had  the  most 
favorable  opportunity  for  knowing  the  facts  you  sought  to 
obtain. 

Permit  me  to  add,  Mr.  Bacon,  I  am  well  aware  of  the 
fact  that  this  report  has  not  been  formulated  in  either  a 
legal  or  business-like  way.  However,  I  have  tried  to  sub- 
mit nothing  but  facts  and,  if  this  form  is  not  up  to  the 
standard,  I  will  freely  admit  that  I  have  done  the  best  I 
could  or  even  knew  how  to  do.  Hoping  the  same  may  be 
satisfactory,  I  am  yours  most  respectfully, 

J.  W.  KiMSEY,  Sheriff,  Peoria  County,  111. 


APPENDIX.  175 

The  only  stories  told  of  any  "wildness"  on  the 
part  of  Colonel  Ingersoll  relate  to  his  young  man- 
hood days,  when  he  was  just  a  big  boy,  albeit  a 
great  genius.  Except  one  nameless  skunk  not 
worth  considering,  not  even  the  most  malicious  of 
the  clergy  dare  whisper  aught  against  him.  And 
the  testimony  of  his  neighbors,  here  given,  shows 
how  little  there  is  in  these  tales  ;  how  mendacity 
is  taxed  to  make  up  even  such  as  are  circulated, 
and  how  impotent  the  malice  of  his  enemies  is  after 
all. 

In  addition  we  subjoin  a  few  of  the  tributes 
printed  in  the  papers  published  at  his  old  home  and 
circulated  among  the  people  who  knew  him,  and 
where,  if  undeserved,  they  could  most  readily  be 
controverted.  The  first  is  from  the  Peoria  5"/ar  of 
July  30,  by  Hiram  Brown  of  Elmwood,  111.: 

,''    /     /' 

Editor  Star  :  There  is  a  half  apologetic  tone  running 
through  the  expressions  of  those  who  believe  with  the  late 
Col.  R.  G.  Ingersoll  that  has  no  business  there. 

These  men  seem  to  think  that  his  kindness  as  a  father 
and  his  unapproachable  family  life  are  among  his  chief 
claims  to  remembrance.     It  is  no  doubt  true  that  he  was  a 
charming  man,  a  model  in  his  home  relations,   large  of 
heart  and  kind  of  manner.  But  this  is  not  uncommon — not 
so  uncommon  as  to  excite  remark.     Even  preachers  and  / 
believers  in  the  doctrine  of  damnation  and  the  God  of  ven-  / 
geance  have  been  most  exemplary  fathers  and  loving  hus-  / 
bands.    These  men  are  good  in  spite  of  their  beliefs — good  \ 
because  it  is  their  nature  to  be  so,  just  as  it  was  the  nature  \ 
of  Colonel  Ingersoll.  ^ 

What  will  make  his  name  remembered  is  his  love  of 
humanity  and  his  willingness  to  accept  all  contumely 
while  giving  expression  to  that  love.  His  work  consisted 
in  freeing  the  minds  of  men  from  the  shackles  of  supersti- 
tion with  all  its  attendant  horrors  and  fears.  His  work  was 
like  that  of  William  Lloyd  Garrison,  the  great  Abolitionist. 
Garrison  struck  the  shackles  from  black  men's  limbs. 
Ingersoll  freed  the  minds  of  all  men  by  showing  them  they 
had  naught  to  fear  from  an  honest  thought  and  its  free  ex- 
pression. 

Since  the  world  began  some  one   has  had  to  sacrifice 


176  APPENDIX 

reputation  and  fame  in  the  advocacy  of  any  great  good 
that  it  might  prevail.  Early  in  his  life  Ingersoll  felt  that 
he  must  bury  any  ambition  that  he  might  have  in  apolitical 
or  professional  sense  if  he  would  carry  out  the  work  he 
clearly  saw  before  him.  It  is  there  his  chief  glory  lies. 
With  his  hand  once  on  the  plow  he  did  not  waver  nor  turn 
back,  but  labored  to  the  end  for  the  benefit  of  all  human- 
ity. His  heart  was  too  large  for  him  to  do  otherwise.  He 
could  not  be  a  hypocrite  and  he  could  not  be  silent. 

Preachers  now  claim  that  he  attacked  the  religion  of  the 
past  and  not  the  religion  of  to-day.  Who  made  it  the  relig- 
ion of  the  past  ?  Ingersoll,  with  his  matchless  eloquence 
and  his  keen  shafts  of  ridicule.  He  rendered  it  impossible 
for  the  devil  longer  to  exist  and  quenched  the  scorching 
flames  of  hell.  He  took  from  Christianity  its  terrors  and 
left  only  love  behind.  By  this  work  he  did  more  for 
humanity  than  any  man  who  ever  lived^  unless  it  be  Jesus 
himself,  whose  simple  teachings  have  been  tortured  into 
the  instruments  of  persecution.  The  world  is  better  to 
live  in  because  he  lived  in  it.  There  is  more  peace  and  joy 
since  he  lived  in  peace  and  joy.  The  world  is  better 
because  he  said  : 

"I  have  known  Christians  to  turn  their  children  from  their 
doors,  especially  a  daughter,  and  then  get  down  on  their 
knees  and  pray  to  God  to  watch  over  them  and  help  them. 
I  will  never  ask  God  to  help  my  children  unless  I  am 
doing  my  level  best  in  the  same  line.  I  will  tell  you 
what  I  say  to  my  girls  :  '  Go  where  you  will,  do  what 
crime  you  may,  fall  to  what  depth  of  degradation  you 
may,  in  all  storms  and  winds  and  earthquakes  of  life,  no 
matter  what  you  do,  you  can  never  commit  any  crime  that 
will  shut  my  door,  my  arms,  or  my  heai-t  to  you.  As  long 
as  I  live  you  will  have  one  sincere  friend.'  Call  me  an 
Atheist;  call  me  an  Infidel  because  I  hate  the  God  of  the 
Jew — which  I  do;  I  intend  so  to  live  that  when  I  die  my 
children  can  come  to  my  grave  and  truthfully  say  :  '  He 
who  sleeps  here  never  gave  us  one  moment  of  pain.'  " 

Let  me  add  another  word  of  his  to  show  his  love  for  all 
mankind  : 

"  I  love  every  man  who  gave  me  or  helped  to  give  me 
the  liberty  I  en  joy  to-night.  I  love  every  man  who  helped 
put  our  flag  in  heaven.  I  love  every  man  who  has  lifted 
his  voice  in  any  age  for  liberty,  for  a  chainless  body  and 
a  fetterless  brain.  I  love  every  man  who  has  given  to 
every  other  human  being  every  right  that  he  claimed  for 
himself.  I  love  every  man  who  has  thought  more  of  prin- 
ciple than  he  has  of  position."  Ht,ba,m  Browm. 


APPENDIX.  177- 

The  second,  from  the  Peoria  Star  of  August  i, 
is  by  a  minister  who  was  once  located  in  Peoria. 
He  it  is,  well-meaning  but  misinformed,  who  falls 
into  the  error  of  saying  that  Mr.  IngersoU  was  a 
very  wild  boy,  and  we  hope  he  will  correct  his 
error  of  statement.  He  is  the  Rev.  Frank 
Mc Alpine  of  Charlotte,  Mich.: 

I  am  to  speak  this  morning  from  a  personal  acquaint- 
ance with  Robert  G.  IngersoU  and  from  many  years'  resi- 
dence in  his  home  city  of  Peoria  among  the  old  neighbors 
who  have  been  intimate  friends  of  the  great  Agnostic  dur- 
ing the  greater  part  of  his  life. 

The  large  white  brick  building,  famous  as  the  IngersoU 
home,  stands  near  the  court-house  square.  Some  way  the 
impression  is  out  that  this  stately  old  building  is  now  in 
the  hands  of  the  Young  Men's  Christian  Association.  A 
gentleman  said  to  me:  "It  seems  providential  that  Mr. 
IngersoU's  old  home  should  have  passed  into  Christian 
hands."  The  fact  is  the  building  is  now  owned  by  the 
whisky  trust  and    used  as  its  headquarters. 

Robert  IngersoU  was  considered  a  very  wild  boy.  While 
not  specially  bad,  he  was  into  almost  anything  for  fun. 
His  convivial  habits,  however,  were  fast  forming  associa- 
tions that  pointed  to  reckless  and  intemperate  life,  but  his 
marriage  in  1861  to  Miss  Parker,  a  stately  and  noble 
woman  of  commanding  presence,  cultured  mind,  and  most 
amiable  disposition,  proved  the  turning  point  in  his  career. 
From  that  time  forward  Mr.  IngersoU  commanded  his  ap- 
petites and  passions  and  made  them  his  servant  rather 
than  his  master.  A  woman's  gentle  hand  steadied  the  life 
of  the  man  and  became  the  inspiration  in  all  that  is  best 
and  noblest  in  his  career.  Mr.  IngersoU  was  a  model  hus- 
band, father,  patriot,  citizen,  and  friend.  Without  regard 
to  party  or  creed  the  old  neighbors  of  Peoria  have  a  warm 
place  in  their  hearts  for  this  man  of  so  many  social,  domes- 
tic, and  civic  virtues.  About  the  only  criticism  one  hears 
among  his  old  neighbors  who  are  professors  of  religion  is 
this:  "  It  seems  too  bad  that  Mr.  IngersoU  did  not  use  his 
great  talent  and  genius  in  constructive  rather  than  destruc- 
tive work."  The  people  of  his  home  city,  without  regard 
to  party  or  creed,  took  part  in  the  memorial  held  upon  his 
death,  and  resolved  to  erect  a  suitable  monument  in  the 
charming  Glen  Oak  park  to  perpetuate  his  memory. 

When  I  was  first  introdued  to  Mr.  IngersoU  by  a  com- 
rade, as  a  clergyman  he  gave  me  a  warm  handclasp  with 
the  statement:  "As  a  rule,  the  gentlemen  of  your  profes- 


178  APPENDIX. 

sion  do  not  like  me  very  well,"  to  which  I  responded: 
"  Comrade  IngersoU,  we  like  you,  but  we  do  not  like  some 
things  you  teach."  This  brought  the  prompt  reply: 
' '  When  we  break  through  the  shell  of  dogma  into  the  pres- 
ence of  man,  bitterness  ceases  and  we  dwell  together  in 
harmony."  When  waiting  at  the  Peoria  depot  for  the 
train  that  was  to  carry  us  to  Elm  wood,  111.,  to  attend  the 
soldiers'  reunion  at  that  place  Mr.  IngersoU's  pocket  was 
picked.  A  large  crowd  had  assembled  at  the  station  and 
the  thief  easily  escaped  detection.  When  we  expressed 
our  regret  that  such  a  thing  should  happen,  he  excused  the 
matter  by  saying  that  he  might  have  dropped  the  money 
when  he  bought  his  ticket.  He  said  that  he  did  not  want 
to  believe  that  any  one  would  pick  his  pocket.  "  Men  are 
naturally  good, "  he  said;  "if  one  becomes  a  thief  he  has 
to  acquire  the  talent.  He  must  study  for  that  profession 
just  as  a  lawyer,  doctor,  or  preacher  learns  his  profession. 
Meanness  is  acquired;  it  is  not  natural.  No  man  was  ever 
made  good  by  calling  him  bad."  So,  in  the  closing  years 
of  his  life,  Mr.  IngersoU  sought  to  eliminate  all  personal 
references  of  a  suspicious  or  unkind  character.  He  tried 
not  to  speak  of  a  man  unless  he  could  speak  well  of  him. 
He  was  merciless  and  sometimes,  it  seemed  to  me,  unkind 
in  his  arraignment  of  opinions  or  parties  and  creeds,  but 
he  eliminated  personalities  as  far  as  possible. 

At  the  last  reunion  of  the  Eleventh  Illinois  Cavalry,  the 
Colonel's  old  regiment,  and  the  soldiers  of  Peoria  county, 
which  Mr.  IngersoU  attended,  a  little  incident  happened 
which  let  us  into  the  inner  circle  of  his  life.  The  meeting 
was  held  at  Elmwood.  While  the  soldiers  were  passing  in 
review  the  citizens  and  young  people  filled  all  the  seats  in 
the  park  and  crowded  around  the  speaker's  stand,  so  as  to 
occupy  all  available  space.  When  the  soldiers  had  finished 
their  parade  and  returned  to  the  park,  they  found  it  im- 
possible to  get  near  the  speaker.  Of  course  we  were  all 
disappointed,  but  were  forced  to  stand  on  the  outskirts  of 
the  vast  throng. 

As  soon  as  he  ceased  speaking  Mr.  IngersoU  said  to  a 
soldier  that  he  would  like  to  meet  his  comrades  in  the  hall 
at  a  certain  hour  in  the  afternoon.  The  word  spread 
quickly,  and  at  the  appointed  hour  the  hall  was  crowded 
with  soldiers.  The  guard  stationed  at  the  door  was  ordered 
to  let  none  but  soldiers  pass  into  the  hall.  Some  of  the 
comrades,  however,  brought  their  wives.  The  guards,  true 
to  their  orders,  refused  to  let  the  ladies  pass.  Just  as  Mr. 
IngersoU  was  ready  to  speak  w'ord  came  to  him  that  some 
of  the  comrades'  wives  were  outside  and  wanted  permission 
to  pass  the  guard.  The  hall  was  full,  but  Mr.  IngersoU 
requested  all  comrades  whose  wives  were  within  reach  to 


APPENDIX.  179 

go  and  get  them.  When  his  order  had  been  complied  with 
even  standing  room  was  at  a  premium.  When  Mr.  Inger- 
soll  arose  to  speak  to  that  great  assemblage  of  white- 
haired  veterans  and  their  aged  companions  his  voice  was 
unusually  tender,  and  the  wave  of  emotion  that  passed 
through  the  hall  cannot  be  told  in  words.  Tears  and 
cheers  blended  as  Mr.  Ingersoll  arose  and  began  his  speech 
with  the  statement  that  all  present  were  nearing  the  set- 
ting sun  of  life,  and  in  all  probability  that  was  the  last 
opportunity  many  of  them  would  have  of  taking  each  other 
by  the  hand. 

In  this  half-hour  impromptu  speech  the  great-hearted 
man,  Robert  G.  Ingersoll,  was  seen  at  his  best.  It  was 
not  a  clash  of  opinions  over  party  or  creed,  but  it  was  a 
meeting  of  hearts  and  communion  together  in  the  holy  of 
holies  of  human  life.  The  address  was  a  series  of  word- 
pictures  that  still  hang  on  the  walls  of  memory.  The 
speaker,  in  his  most  sympathetic  mood,  drew  a  picture  of 
the  service  of  the  G.  A.  R.,  of  the  women  of  the  Republic, 
and  then  paid  a  beautiful  tribute  to  home  and  invoked  the 
kindest  and  greatest  influence  to  guard  his  comrades  and 
their  companions  during  the  remainder  of  life's  journey. 

We  got  very  close  to  the  man  that  day,  where  we  could 
see  the  heart  of  Mr.  Ingersoll.  I  have  often  wished  that  a 
reporter  could  have  been  present  to  preserve  the  address. 
Imagine  four  beautiful  word-paintings  entitled,  "The Ser- 
vice of  the  G.  A.  R.,"  "The  Influence  of  Noble  Woman- 
hood," " The Sacredness  of  Home,"  and  "The  Pilgrimage 
of  Life."  Imagine  these  word-paintings  as  drawn  by  Mr. 
Ingersoll  under  the  most  favorable  circumstances,  and  you 
have  an  idea  of  that  address.  Mr.  Ingersoll  the  Agnostic 
is  a  very  different  man  from  Mr.  Ingersoll  the  man  and 
patriot.  I  cannot  share  the  doubts  of  this  Agnostic.  I 
cannot  help  admiring  the  man  and  patriot. 

This  report  of  a  regimental  meeting  and  the 
resolutions  adopted  is  from  the  Peoria  Weekly 
Herald  of  July  27. 

The  meeting  was  presided  over  by  B,  D,  Meek 
of  Eureka,  who  was  lieutenant-colonel  of  the 
Eleventh  while  Ingersoll  was  colonel.  They  were 
closely  associated  during  the  war,  and  a  warm 
friendship  existed  between  them.  Colonel  Meek 
has  been  master  in  chancery  of  Woodford  county 
for  a  number  of  years.  In  taking  the  chair  he 
said  in  part  : 


180  APPENDIX. 

**  Our  leader  has  gone  and  we  must  soon  follow. 
In  the  death  of  Colonel  IngersoU  the  country  has 
lost  one  of  its  greatest  men.  A  greater  mind  than 
his  has  not  existed  since  Shakspere.  Had  his 
mind  been  turned  in  military  channels,  he  could 
have  been  a  leader;  if  in  law  exclusively,  none 
could  have  excelled  him.  He  was  a  marvelous 
man  in  intellect  and  brilliancy. 

"  While  there  was  a  difference  in  our  tempera- 
ments we  always  got  along  well  and  corresponded 
up  to  the  time  of  his  death.  No  reformer  did 
more  for  liberalizing  thought  than  did  Robert  G. 
IngersoU." 

The  resolutions,  as  follows,  were  adopted  on 
motion  of  R.  L.  Todhunter  : 


Robert  G.  IngersoU  is  dead.  The  brave  soldier,  the  trn- 
swering  patriot,  the  true  friend,  and  the  distinguished 
colonel  of  that  old  regiment  of  which  we  have  the  honor  to 
be  a  remnant,  sleeps  his  last  sleep. 

No  word  of  ours,  though  written  in  flame,  no  chaplet 
that  our  hands  can  weave,  no  testimony  that  our  personal 
knowledge  can  bring,  will  add  anything  to  his  fame,  which 
the  American  public  will  not  now  freely  accord. 

The  world  honors  him  as  the  prince  of  orators  in  his 
generation,  as  its  emancipator  from  manacles  and  dogmas; 
philosophy,  for  his  aid  in  beating  back  the  ghosts  of 
superstition;  and  we,  in  addition  to  these,  for  our  personal 
knowledge  of  him,  as  a  man,  a  soldier,  and  a  friend. 

We  knew  him  as  the  general  public  did  not.  We  knew  him 
in  the  military  camp  where  he  reigned  an  uncrowned  king, 
ruling  with  that  bright  scepter  of  human  benevolence 
which  death  alone  could  wrest  from  his  hand. 

We  had  the  honor  to  obey,  as  we  could,  his  calm  but 
resolute  commands  at  Shiloh,  at  Corinth,  and  at  Lexington, 
knowing,  as  we  did,  that  he  would  never  command  a  man 
to  go  where  he  would  not  dare  to  lead  the  way. 

Hence  we  recognize  only  a  small  circle  around  his  re- 
cent heaven  and  home,  who  could  know  more  of  his  man- 
liness and  worth  than  we  do.  And  to  such  we  say :  Look 
up,  if  you  can,  through  natural  tears;  try  to  be  as  brave  as 
he  was,  and  try  to  remember — in  the  midst  of  a  grief  which 
his  greatest  wish  for  life  would  have  been  to  help  you  to 
bear — that  he  had  no  fear  of  death  nor  of  anything  beyond. 

And  we,  the  survivors,  comrades  of  the  Eleventh  Illinois 


APPENDIX.  181 

Cavalry,  extend  to  his  widow  and  children  our  condolence 

in  this  hour  of  their  sad  bereavement. 

s.  a.  murdock, 
Thos.  O'Harra, 
S.  S.  Tripp, 
C.  Frabe, 

J.  W.   KiMSEY. 

From  the  Peoria  Herald- Transcript  of  July 
24  we  take  the  report  of  a  memorial  meeting,  held 
on  the  evening  of  the  23d,  at  which  Colonel  Inger- 
soll's  personal  friends  paid  their  tributes.  Some  of 
them  are  Christians,  some  Freethinkers.  They  all 
spoke  from  the  heart.  Would  they  have  said  these 
things  of  a  bad  neighbor  and  dissipated  man? 
This  is  the  report : 

Perhaps  no  more  impressive  memorial  services  have  ever 
been  held  in  the  United  States  to  the  memory  of  a  deceased 
public  man  than  those  held  yesterday  afternoon  in  the 
Tabernacle  to  the  memory  of  Robert  Green  Ingersoll, 
Peoria's  former  citizen,  and  the  man  who  without  a  doubt 
gave  the  city  wider  prominence  than  all  other  causes  com- 
bined. 

From  the  expressions  on  the  faces  of  nearly  every  per- 
son it  was  seen  that  there  was  deep  sorrow  over  the  sudden 
death  of  this  wonderful  man.  There  were  no  special 
decorationst  and  a  bust  of  the  deceased,  taken  while  he 
was  yet  a  young  man,  stood  in  front  of  the  chairman's 
table.  It  was  not  thought  that  the  exercises  would  con- 
tinue over  an  hour  at  the  farthest,  but  there  were  so  many 
friends  of  the  dead  man  present  who  desired  to  express 
their  feelings  and  say  a  word  in  his  praise  that  it  was  after 
6  o'clock  when  adjournment  was  reached. 

Deloss  S.  Brown  was  made  permanent  chairman.  Mr. 
Eugene  F.  Baldwin,  the  opening  speaker,  began  his  re- 
marks by  saying:  "When  a  great  man  falls  the  nation 
mourns.  In  the  death  of  Col.  Robert  G.  Ingersoll  one  of 
the  greatest  men  of  the  age  has  fallen — one  who  has  im- 
pressed the  world  with  his  speech  and  thought,  even  more 
than  Huxley,  Gladstone,  and  Bismarck,  and  not  only  we, 
^)ut  the  whole  nation  mourns. 

"  If  Colonel  Ingersoll  was  second  to  any  man  in  the  his- 
tory of  modern  times,  it  was  to  the  great  Darwin  himself, 
and  he  alone."  Mr.  Baldwin  said  that  there  was  not  an- 
other case  in  history  where  a  man  had  made  as  great 


182  APPENDIX. 

personal  sacrifice  as  had  Colonel  IngersoU  in  order  that  he 
might  preach  and  live  up  to  his  belief,  He  had  made 
himself  a  poor  man  by  his  acts  of  charity,  and  nis  life  of 
brotherly  love  was  religion  in  a  higher  sphere.  Under  the 
old  form  of  religion  it  was  impossible  for  a  man  to  express 
love  for  his  wife  and  family,  but  Colonel  IngersoU,  by  his 
liberal  views,  has  made  that  thing  possible. 

William  Hawley  Smith  said  in  part:  "Colonel  IngersoU 
left  Peoria  about  two  years  before  I  came  here  to  make  my 
residence.  I  have  met  him  a  number  of  times  and  have 
been  quite  well  acquainted  with  him.  I  have  studied  the 
man,  and  as  I  think  of  his  life,  the  genuine  spirit  of  de- 
mocracy pervaded  the  man.  He  was  a  genuine  democrat 
— he  believed  in  everybody.  The  old  religious  idea  was 
that  God  was  a  king  and  had  pets  whom  he  favored.  In- 
gersoU did  not  believe  in  pets,  but  that  all  men  were  made  to 
be  treated  alike.  I  remember  when  in  one  of  the  Republican 
state  conventions  John  A.  Logan  said  Peoria  county  should 
not  be  represented  in  the  national  convention  as  the  people 
desired,  and  how  IngersoU  pleaded  for  us  and  won  out. 
Logan  saw  the  day  he  was  sorry  for  his  action.  Again  I 
say.  Colonel  IngersoU  was  the  greatest  example  of  friend- 
ship, brotherly  love,  equality,  and  genuine  democracy  the 
world  has  ever  seen." 

The  next  speaker  was  Julius  S.  Starr,  who  was  visibly 
affected.  In  part  he  said:  "  Colonel  IngersoU  and  myself 
were  friends  for  man),  years.  In  i860  when  the  conflict 
for  the  preservation  of  the  nation  was  being  agitated  and 
the  members  of  his  party  were  wavering  as  to  whether  they 
would  support  President  Lincoln  or  take  sides  with  the 
Confederacy  he  showed  the  greatest  patriotism  of  any  man 
the  world  has  ever  produced.  I  remember  the  meeting 
held  in  the  old  court  house  by  the  Peoria  county  Democ- 
racy, at  which  it  was  to  be  decided  on  which  side  they 
would  stand,  and  at  which  Colonel  IngersoU  was  present. 
He  had  been  defeated  for  the  nomination  for  Congress  by 
the  great  Doiiglass,  but  after  the  representatives  of  the 
Confederacy  had  finished  their  addresses,  which  had 
worked  the  audience  up  to  the  pitch  that  another  word 
would  have  taken  them  over  to  the  side  in  opposition  to  the 
administration,  he  took  the  floor  and  carried  the  meeting 
by  storm  in  the  indorsement  of  President  Lincoln.  And  in 
this,  fellow  citizens,  I  say  with  pride  that  Robert  G.  Inger- 
soU showed  himself  to  be  the  greatest  patriot  in  the  United 
States. 

"  I  went  with  him  into  Indiana  when  he  was  requested 
to  deliver  addresses  in  defense  of  Governor  Morton,  whom 
the  Democrats  of  that  state  were  trying  to  down,  and  the 
governor  told  me  that  he  had  heard  all  the  great  orators 


APPENDIX.  183 

and  intellectual  men  of  that  period,  but  Ingersoll  was  the 
greatest  of  them  all.  None  can  saj^  but  that  Colonel  In- 
gersoll did  more  for  humanity  than  any  other  man.  I 
knew  him  in  his  home  life,  and  there  he  was  the  same 
strong,  noble,  patriotic  man.  Peace  to  his  ashes— memory 
to  the  good  he  has  done. 

Following  Mr.  Starr's  address,  Mr.  E.  L.  Brown  of  Elm- 
wood  sang,  "  The  Old  Friends  Are  the  Truest  After  All." 
This  song  was  written  by  a  member  of  Colonel  IngersoU's 
regiment,  and  sung  in  his  honor  at  the  reunion  of  the  regi- 
ment, the  Eleventh  Illinois  Cavalry,  held  at  Elmwood 
three  years  ago,  at  which  Colonel  Ingersoll  was  the  guest 
of  honor. 

Martin  Kingman  said:  "Colonel  Ingersoll  was  my 
neighbor.  His  wife  and  myself  wtre  old  acquaintances.  A 
small  railing  separated  our  houses  and  we  talked  nightly 
across  the  railing. 

"While  I  disagreed  with  Colonel  Ingersoll  on  his  relig- 
ious views  I  always  honored  his  intellect.  He  was  one  of 
the  great  men  of  the  nation  and  his  name  will  go  down  the 
ages  to  be  remembered  by  many  men  and  women.  I 
learned  a  great  lesson  from  this  wonderful  man  through 
his  great  love  for  his  family." 

Mr.  Dan  Sheen  read  this  resolution: 

"  Resolved,  That  a  committee  of  fifteen  be  appointed  by 
the  chairman,  to  constitute  a  board  of  trustees,  with  full 
power  to  raise  the  necessary  funds  by  private  subscription 
for  the  erection  in  Peoria,  111.,  in  Glen  Oak  park,  of  a 
suitable  monument  to  the  memory  of  the  late  Col.  Robert 
Green  Ingersoll.  The  committee  to  be  known  as  the  In- 
gersoll Memorial  Committee,  and  the  funds  so  raised  to  be 
known  as  the  Ingersoll  Memorial  Fund,  and  that  said  com- 
mittee have  full  power  to  appropriate  such  funds  for  the 
erection  of  such  monument  in  their  discretion  in  the  said 
citv." 

The  resolution  was  greeted  with  applause,  and  Dan  R. 
Sheen,  Samuel  A.  Harper,  Julius  S.  Starr,  Rudolph 
Pfeiffer,  and  Hiram  Brown  were  appointed  as  the  com- 
mittee. 

Dr.  J.  T.  Stewart  reviewed  the  early  history  of  religion, 
and  compared  Colonel  Ingersoll  with  Socrates  and  other 
great  men  of  ancient  times,  and  said:  "  He  loved  the  truth 
and  his  life  aim  was  to  get  at  it.  Those  who  have  talked 
a-- ainst  him  are  afraid  of  the  truth,  and  where  you  find  a 
Christian  who  is  afraid  of  the  truth  there  is  something 
rotten  about  him.  Nothing  has  destroyed  more  life  and 
brought  more  misery  in  the  world  than  superstition,  and  it 
was  Colonel  IngersoU's  life  work  to  destroy  this  evil.  Col- 
onel Ingersoll  was  a  most  wonderful  man  and  his  name 


184  APPENDIX. 

will  go  down  to  posterity  as  one  of  the  greatest  of  the  age." 

Col.  Samuel  A.  Harper  said:   "Colonel  IngersoU  was  my 

friend  and  I  was  his  friend.     I  loved  and  revered  him,  and 

I  have  nothing  to  take  back  that  I  have  ever  said  of  him." 

Colonel  Harper  was  followed  by  Mr.  Rudolph  Pfeiffer, 

iwho  spoke  as  follows:  "Colonel  IngersoU  was  the  greatest 
oratoi  that  ever  lived,  but  great  as  he  was,  his  fame  does 
not  rest  there.  We  love  him  for  his  love  of  his  family. 
The  fame  of  all  intellectual  heroes  rests  on  two  points — 
love  of  mankind  and  moral  courage.  IngersoU  was  not  a 
coward — he  loved  liberty  for  himself  and  others.  It  takes 
a  courageous  man  to  fight  the  dark  creeds  of  theology,  and 
this  sort  of  a  man  was  Colonel  IngersoU." 

Mr.  Hiram  Brown  read  a  letter  written  by  Colonel  In- 
gersoU to  a  San  Francisco  mother,  who  had  lost  a  much 
loved  son,  and  who  was  grieving  over  the  future.     The 
letter  bade  the  mother  have  no  fear,  and  its  tenderness 
brought  tears  to  many  men  and  women  in  the  audience. 
Supervisor  StalTord  said  he  was  never  afraid  of  the  sneers 
r  and  jeers  of  the  world.     He  was  and  had  been  since  youth 
\a  believer  in  the  teachings  of  Paine,  and  said  he:   "  When 
I  IngersoU  announced  to  the  world  his  principles,  I  was  a 
follower  of  him.     To-day   I  believe  he  was  the  greatest 
man  chat  ever  lived  in  the  United  States.     He  was  never 
afraid  to  say  what  his  conscience  told  him.     He  was  a  man 
of  true  principles.     To  show  the  trueness  of  his  manhood 
and  his  love  for  his  fellow  man,  I  will  say  that  at  one  time 
Fred  Douglass,  the  great  colored  orator,  came   to  Peoria. 
At  that  time  a  negro  would  not  be  admitted  to  a  hotel, 
but  Colonel  Bob  took  him  into  his  own  house  and  enter- 
tained him,  telling  him  when  he  took  his  departure  that  if 
he  ever  happened  around  where  he  lived  again  he  would 
/•   always  find  the  latch-string  hanging  out. 
'        "I  have  been  spotted  as  an  Infidel,  but  I  am  not  afraid. 
"^    I  am  proud  that  I  have  lived  out  this  bigoted  age.     Let  us 
I  honor  such  men  as  Paine  and  IngersoU,  for  such  men  as 
they  made  it  possible  for  us  to  live  in  this  age." 

Prof.  Leon  Van  Hoorbeke  said  that  he  did  not  come  to 
the  meeting  to  honor  a  Democrat  or  a  Republican,  but  a 
Freethinker,  the  greatest  in  the  world.  He  said  he  had 
met  IngersoU  and  honored  him,  and  next  year  he  would 
go  abroad  and  si'read  his  greatness  on  foreign  shores. 

Major  H.  W.  Wells,  who  was  an  intimate  friend  of  Col- 
onel IngersoU,  was  then  caUed  upon.  He  declared  no  bet- 
ter man  ever  lived  than  he,  and  in  part  said :  ' '  Bob 
IngersoU  honored  Jesus  Christ,  and  I  have  often  heard  him 
say  that  he  was  a  great  and  good  man,  and  that  if  he  had 
lived  in  his  time  he  would  have  been  his  friend.  Christ 
was  crucified  on  acccount  of  his  opinions,  and  he  would  be 


APPENDIX.  185 

crucified  to-day  if  he  was  living.  You  talk  of  a  monument 
to  Ingersoll's  memory — he  needs  none,  for  his  life  and  deeds 
are  monument  enough,  and  far  grander  than  any  shaft  you 
can  raise." 

At  the  close  of  Major  Wells's  remarks  an  old  and  feeble 
gentleman  rose  to  his  feet  and,  stating  that  his  name  was 
Buchanan,  asked  to  be  allowed  to  say  a  few  words.  He 
was  told  to  proceed,  and  said:  "I  have  heard  something 
said  of  Col.  Robert  G.  Ingersoll's  capture  by  the  Confed- 
erates during  the  Civil  war,  and  that  he  was  captured  while 
standing  in  a  hog  pen.  I  am  probably  the  only  living  wit- 
ness of  his  capture,  and  can  say  that  there  was  no  pig  pen 
or  buildings  of  any  kind  in  sight. 

"I  was  wounded  and  lying  not  twenty  feet  away  when 
he  was  captured,  and  if  there  had  been  a  pig  pen  near  at 
hand  I  most  certainly  would  have  crawled  into  it  for  shel- 
ter from  the  cold,  as  there  was  snow  on  the  ground  where 
I  was  lying.  When  the  Confederates  came  up  to  Colonel 
IngersoU  he  shouted:  '  Stop  your  shooting!  I  have  been 
wanting  to  recognize  your  old  Confederacy  for  the  last  ten 
minutes.'  Those  officers  thought  so  much  of  him  that  they 
did  not  take  from  him  his  horse,  pistols,  or  sword.  He  was 
not  a  great  soldier,  but  there  was  not  a  cowardly  hair  in  his 
head.  Everybody  loved  him,  and  there  was  not  a  man  in 
the  regiment  who  would  not  have  followed  him  to  the 
death." 

Col.  Isaac  Taylor  said  :  "I  knew  Colonel  IngersoU  since 
1859.  The  entire  world  recognizes  him  as  a  fine  orator,  but 
that  about  him  which  impressed  my  mind  and  feeling  was 
his  great,  big  heart.  He  was  truly  a  great  man.  God 
bless  his  memory." 

Capt.  John  Hall  then  spoke,  saying:  "I  knew  Colonel 
IngersoU  over  forty  years,  and  no  better  man  ever  lived. 
I  was  at  his  office  when  the  committee  from  the  sate  con- 
vention called  upon  him  and  told  him  he  could  have  the 
nomination  for  governor  of  Illinois  if  he  would  keep  his 
peculiar  views  out  of  the  campaign.  When  the  leader  had 
finished  Colonel  IngersoU  stood  erect  like  a  giant  and  said 
to  him,  looking  him  full  in  the  face  :  '  I  would  not  smother 
one  sentiment  of  my  heart  to  be  president  of  the  United 
States.'  " 

M.  C.  Quinn  said:  "Fellow-citizens,  a  gfiant  oak  has 
fallen  in  the  midst  of  the  forest;  one  of  the  greatest  and 
grandest  men  of  the  day  has  fallen  in  the  harness;  a  war- 
rior has  dropped  in  battle  with  his  armor  on.  He  was  the 
grandest  specimen  of  mankind  ever  seen.  He  was  colos- 
sal. His  appearance  was  magnificent,  his  presence  inspir- 
ing, and  his  flow  of  language  as  if  it  came  from  a  well- 
spring.     I  say  there  was  no  greater  man  ever  lived  thajj 


186  APPENDIX. 

Robert  G.  IngersoU,  and  his  name  will  never  be  forgotten.'' 

Mr.  William  Babcock,  Sr.,  of  Canton,  an  old  friend  of 
Colonel  IngersoU,  who  had  come  to  the  city  specially  to 
attend  the  memorial  exercises,  was  called  upon,  and  with 
tears  running  down  his  cheeks  said:  "I  can  hardly  talk 
for  my  emotions.  Colonel  IngersoU  and  I  w^ere  boys  to- 
gether. We  were  born  within  six  miles  of  each  other,  and 
I  have  known  him  for  many  years.  If  there  ever  was  an 
honest  man  on  God's  earth  it  was  he.  May  his  name  and 
deeds  live  forever." 

Thomas  H.  Sparrow  said  that  Peoria  has  had  manygreat 
people.  She  had  made  Emma  Abbott,  the  g^eat  singer; 
she  had  made  Robert  IngersoU,  the  greatest  orator  and 
Freethinker  the  world  has  ever  known,  and  she  had  made 
Gen.  Lloyd  H.  Wheaton,  who  is  making  a  great  record  for 
himself  and  Peoria  in  the  Philippines. 

Capt.  R.  W.  Burt  said  that  he  had  known  many  of  the 
great  men  of  the  nation,  and  yet  IngersoU  was  the  greatest 
of  them  all,  and  he  (Captain  Burt)  asked  the  question, 
"  How  could  he  be  changed  when  his  heart  made  him  the 
g^eat,  good  man  that  he  was?" 

At  this  point  the  chair  called  for  the  report  of  the  com- 
mittee on  resolutions,  which  was  read  by  Eugene  H.  Bald- 
win, after  which,  on  motion  of  Hiram  Brown,  it  was 
adopted  by  a  rising  vote.     The  resolutions  follow : 

"Whereas,  In  the  order  of  nature — that  nature  which 
moves  with  unerring  certainty  in  obedience  to  fixed  laws — 
Robert  G.  IngersoU  has  gone  to  that  repose  which  we  call 
death, 

"■'Resolved,  That  we,  his  old  friends  and  fellow  citizens, 
who  have  shared  his  friendship  in  the  past,  hereby  mani- 
fest the  respect  due  his  memory.  At  a  time  when  everj'- 
thing  impelled  him  to  conceal  his  opinions  or  to  withhold 
their  expression,  when  the  highest  honors  of  the  state  were 
his  if  he  would  but  avoid  the  discussion  of  the  questions 
that  relate  to  futurity,  he  avowed  his  belief  ;  he  did  not 
bow  his  knee  to  superstition  nor  countenance  a  creed  from 
which  his  intellect  dissented. 

"  Casting  aside  all  the  things  for  which  men  most  sigh — 
political  honor,  the  power  to  direct  the  fortunes  of  the  state, 
riches  and  emoluments,  the  association  of  the  wordly  and 
the  well-to-do — he  stood  forth  and  expressed  his  honest 
doubts,  and  he  welcomed  the  ostracism  that  came  with  it, 
as  a  crown  of  glory,  no  less  than  did  the  martyrs  of  old. 

"Even  this  self-sacrifice  has  been  accounted  shame  to 
him,  saying  that  he  was  urged  thereto  by  a  desire  for  finan- 
cial gain,  when  at  the  time  he  made  his  stand  there  was 
before  him  only  the  prospect  of  loss  and  the  scorn  of  the 
public.  We,  therefore,  who  know  what  a  struggle  it  was 


APPENDIX.  187 

to  cut  loose  from  his  old  associations  and  what  it  meant  to 
him  at  that  time,  rejoice  in  his  triumph  and  in  the  plaudits 
that  came  to  him  from  thus  boldly  avowing  his  opinions, 
and  we  desire  to  record  the  fact  that  we  feel  that  he  vas 
greater  than  a  saint,  greater  than  a  mere  hero — he  was 
a  thoroughly  honest  man. 

"  He  was  a  believer,  not  in  the  narrow  creed  of  a  past 
barbarous  age,  but  a  true  believer  in  all  that  men  ought  to 
hold  sacred,  the  sanctity  of  the  home,  the  purity  of  friend- 
ship, and  the  honesty  of  the  individual.  He  was  not 
afraid  to  advocate  the  fact  that  eternal  truth  was  eternal 
justice;  he  was  not  afraid  of  the  truth,  nor  to  avow  that  he 
owed  allegiance  to  it  first  of  all,  and  he  was  willing  to  suf- 
fer shame  and  condemnation  for  its  sake. 

"  The  laws  of  the  universe  were  his  bible;  to  do  good,  his 
religion,  and  he  was  true  to  his  creed.  We  therefore  com- 
mend his  life,  for  he  was  the  apostle  of  the  tireside,  the 
evangel  of  justice  and  love  and  charity  and  happiness. 

"We  who  knew  him  when  he  first  began  his  struggle,  his 
old  neighbors  and  friends,  rejoice  at  the  testimony  he  has 
left  us,  and  we  commend  his  life  and  efforts  as  worthy  of 
emulation. 

' '  Re  so  Ived, Tha.i  we  extend  our  heartfelt  sympathy  to  his 
family  in  their  great  loss,  and  that  a  copy  of  these  resolu- 
itons  be  forwarded  to  them." 

Following  the  adoption  of  the  resolutions,  Mrs.  E.  L. 
Brown  sang  a  song,  composed  by  an  Elmwood  friend  of 
Colonel  IngersoU  and  dedicated  to  him  entitled,  "I  May 
be  a  Prophet,"  after  which  Mr.  Hiram  Brown  read  Inger- 
soll's  essay  on  Napoleon  Bonaparte,  and  the  meeting  was 
adjourned. 

There  were  many  more  friends  and  admirers  of  the  de- 
ceased orator  present  who  would  have  talked  had  not  the 
time  run  short,  it  being  after  6  o'clock  when  adjournment 
was  taken. 


HIS   BELIEF   WAS   UNCHANGED. 

Clinton  J.  Robins,  ex-telephone  operator  at 
police  headquarters  in  Dayton,  Ohio,  received  the 
following  letter  written  by  Colonel  IngersoU,  in 
reply  to  an  inquiry  as  to  whether  he  had  changed 
his  opinion  as  to  religion,  the  date  giving  it 
special  significance: 

"New  York,  July  13,  1899. — C.  J.  Robins, 
Esq. — Dear  Sir:  First  accept  a  thousand  thanks. 


188  APPENDIX. 

for  your  good  letter.  The  only  trouble  is  that  it 
is  too  flattering.  You  are  right  in  thinking  that  I 
have  not  changed.  I  still  believe  that  all  relig- 
ions are  based  on  falsehoods  and  mistakes.  I  still 
deny  the  existence  of  the  supernatural,  and  I  still 
say  that  real  religion  is  usefulness.  Thanking 
you  again,  I  remain  yours  always, 

"  R.  G.Ingersoll." 


Secular  Thought  of  Toronto,  of  which  Mr.  J. 
Spencer  Ellis  is  the  editor,  reprints  "  from  a  con- 
temporary "  the  appended  paragraph,  which  has 
enjoyed  a  wide  circulation  in  the  United  States 
and  probably  also  in  foreign  countries: 

"A  correspondent  sends  to  the  Daily  Mail  th«  following 
story  of  an  incident  which  happened  some  twenty  years 
ago  in  Toronto:  Colonel  Ingersoll,  the  celebrated  Infidel 
orator,  was  delivering  a  lecture  in  a  theatre  on  a  Sunday 
night.  The  house,  of  course,  was  crammed,  and  he  went  on 
with  his  clever  and  humorous  speech  till  he  gave  utterance 
to  some  particularly  blasphemous  comments,  which  proved 
too  offensive  for  his  audience.  In  the  midst  of  his  brilliant 
speech  a  fine  voice  in  the  gallery  rang  out  in  the  well- 
known  hymn,  '  Hold  the  Fort,  for  I  am  Coming.'  Instantly 
the  words  were  taken  up  by  others  until  the  whole  con- 
course joined  in,  and  Colonel  Ingersoll  had  to  retreat 
ignominiously  without  being  allowed  to  utter  another  word. " 

Mr.  Ellis  comments:  "  It  will  be  understood  by 
every  rational  man  that  no  such  incident  ever 
took  place.  .  .  .  The  editor  of  this  paper, 
having  attended  all  Ingersoll's  lectures  in  Toronto, 
is  prepared  to  assert  that  the  story  is  simply  a 
foolish  invention,  no  incident  such  as  that  related 
having  occurred."  See  Secular  Thought,  Sept. 
23,  1899. 


In  conversation  with  a  friend  of  Colonel  Inger- 
soll an  incident  was  related  to  us  which  has 
never  been    made  public  but  which   ought  to 


APPENDIX.  189 

be  recorded  for  the  information  of  clerical  gentle- 
men. In  February,  1898,  Fort  Smith,  Ark.,  was 
visited  by  a  cyclone  which  wiped  out  a  portion  of 
the  town,  causing  great  suffering  there.  Colonel 
Ingersoll  was  booked  to  lecture  there  on  the  14th, 
but  telegraphed  to  the  theatre  manager  that  under 
the  circumstances  he  thought  the  date  would  bet- 
ter be  canceled.  The  manager  held  him  to  the 
contract,  however.  When  the  Colonel  started  on 
his  trip  he  telegraphed  the  Fort  Smith  man  that 
he  would  lecture  there  and  give  the  proceeds  to 
the  cyclone  sufferers.  "I  can't  take  any  money 
out  of  a  town  in  that  condition,"  he  said  to  our 
informant.  So  from  Texas  he  traveled  up  to  Fort 
Smith,  at  an  expense  of  about  a  hundred  dollars, 
lectured  and  gave  his  share  of  the  proceeds — some 
$300 — to  the  committee  engaged  in  relieving  the 
sufferers.  The  theatre  manager,  however,  took 
his  own  share  and  put  it  in  his  pocket. — The  Truth 
Seeker,  Dec.  2,  1899. 


"EXAGGERATED    AND    FALSE." 

The  Rev.  George  L.  Cady  of  Geneseo,  111., 
preached  a  sermon  on  Ingersoll  in  which  this  old 
lie  was  repeated: 

"Bob  Ingersoll  was  a  cowardly  soldier — was  in 
but  one  battle.  Ran  at  the  first  fire,  bringing  up 
in  a  pigpen,  and  was  actually  captured  by  a  Con- 
federate boy  sixteen  years  old.  Now,  that  was 
his  patriotism  when  tested." 

A  statement  like  the  foregoing  might  have  gone 
unchallenged  a  few  months  ago  by  any  resident  of 
Geneseo,  but  since  the  publication  of  "Ingersoll 
as  He  Is"  retribution  is  pretty  sure  to  overtake  the 
clerical  defamer  wherever  he  may  hold  forth.  One 


190  APPENDIX. 

of  our  subscribers  immediately  took  the  Rev.  Mr. 
Cady  to  task,  and  published  in  the  "Henry  County 
Arena"  the  facts  about  IngersoU's  war  record.  As 
he  wrote  under  the  nom  de  plume  of  Plebeus  the 
clergyman  declined  to  acknowledge  his  error,  but 
"Plebeus"  continued  to  pile  up  the  evidence,  until 
in  a  private  letter  Mr.  Cady  finally  admitted  that 
the  statement  was  "exaggerated  and  false."  He 
did  not,  however,  make  the  public  retraction 
which  justice  demanded.  The  controversy  brought 
out  a  letter,  not  previously  published,  from  Basil 
D.  Meek,  who  with  Ingersoll,  organized  the 
Eleventh  Illinois  cavalry.     It  is  as  follows : 

"It  affords  me  great  pleasure  to  give  facts  in 
regard  to  any  matters  touching  the  character  and 
conduct  of  so  worthy  a  gentleman  as  Ingersoll. 
No  person  in  the  service  could  know  the  facts  bet- 
ter than  myself,  as  the  Colonel  and  I  were  to- 
gether in  battle  and  in  camp  during  his  career  in 
the  army.  Our  relations  were  of  the  most  inti- 
mate character,  and  I  can  say  without  fear  of  con- 
tradiction that  there  was  not  a  braver  man  in  the 
late  war  than  Colonel  Ingersoll.  He  did  not 
know  what  fear  was  in  battle  or  any  place  else. 
The  charge  that  'Bob  Ingersoll  was  a  cowardly 
soldier,  ran  at  the  first  fire  in  the  first  battle, 
bringing  up  in  a  pigpen,  and  was  actually  cap- 
tured by  a  sixteen-year-old  boy,'  is  to  my  personal 
knowledge  a  gross  mistake  all  through.  The  first 
engagement  he  was  in  was  the  battle  of  Pittsburg 
landing,  April  6  and  7,  1862.  His  deportment  was 
calm  and  collected;  he  made  several  strong  pleas 
to  our  men  to  stand  firm  and  fight  the  enemy  to 
the  last,  as  our  cause  was  just.  Colonel  Ingersoll 
was  kind-hearted  and  generous,  beloved  and  re- 
spected by  all  the  men  in  his  commandery,  and  I 
am  sorry  to  hear  these  false  charges  made  against 


APPENDIX.  191 

him  by  persons  who  do  not  know  what  they  are 
talking  about.  He  is  not  with  the  masses  in  his 
notions  about  religion.  He  and  I  did  not  agree  on 
theology,  but  no  man  could  show  greater  regard 
for  the  religious  views  of  another  than  Mr.  Inger- 
soll  did  for  mine  during  our  entire  time  together. 
"Eureka,  111.,  Mar.  19,  1896.      B.  D.  Meek." 

We  observe  that  the  Rev.  J.  Morgan  Wells  of 
Ft.  Worth,  Tex.,  in  revising  his  sermon  on  Inger- 
soll,  has  omitted  the  myth  of  the  "sixteen-year- 
old  Confederate  boy,"  as  well  as  all  other  refer- 
ence to  the  Colonel's  war  record  contained  in  the 
sermon  as  delivered,  in  which  the  reverend  gen- 
tleman, so-called,  gave  his  congregation  to  under- 
stand that  the  Eleventh  Illinois  was  a  colored 
regiment.  But  Mr.  Wells's  sermon  contains  other 
slanders  just  as  vile,  and  which  the  preacher 
knows  to  be  untrue.  People  who  hear  or  read 
these  sermons  must  often  wonder  if  the  clergy 
tell  as  little  truth  about  other  things  as  they  do 
about  Ingersoll. — The  Truth  Seeker,  May  23, 
1896. 


'A    PATRON    OF   SUICIDE. 

Remarking  the  alleged  increase  of  the  tendency 
of  human  beings  to  commit  suicide,  the  "Chris- 
tian Advocate"  says: 

"Ingersoll,  by  reason  of  his  teachings,'  has 
earned  for  himself  the  title  of  the  Patron  of  Sui- 
cide." 

Ingersoll  has  affirmed  that  under  certain  cir-' 
cumstances  "a  man  has  the  right  to  take  his  life," 
and  he  mentions  some  of  those  circumstances. 
For  example,  a  man  may  be  the  last  passenger  on 


192  APPENDIX. 

the  deck  of  a  burning  ship,  with  the  alternative 
of  leaping  into  the  water  to  be  drowned  or  re- 
maining to  be  devoured  by  flames.  He  may  have 
in  his  possession  a  drug  by  swallowing  which  he 
immediately  becomes  unconscious  and  dies  pain- 
lessly. Is  it  not  his  privilege,  asks  Ingersoll,  to 
choose  the  easiest  death?  Again,  he  may  be  in 
the  hands  of  savages  or  inquisitors,  and  death 
from  torture  is  assured.  Is  God  better  pleased  if 
the  man  suffers  indescribable  agony  for  hours  in- 
stead of  cutting  the  matter  short  with  a  quick 
blow  of  a  dagger  ?  It  is  under  circumstances  like 
these  that  Ingersoll  says  a  man  has  the  right  to 
take  his  own  life,  and  it  is  upon  this  basis  that  the 
"Advocate"  calls  him  the  Patron  of  Suicide! 
Deliberate  lying  would  be  a  virtue  compared  with 
such  distortion  of  fact,  "for  a  lie  that  is  all  a  lie 
can  be  met  and  fought  with  outright,"  but  to 
paraphrase  the  poet,  a  Christian  lie  is  a  harder 
matter  to  contend  with. — The  Truth  Seeker,  Oc- 
tober 24,  1896. 


A  "fake"  with  catholic  embellishments. 

"At  last  Ingersoll  has  knocked  down  his  man. 
But  it  wasn't  Dr.  Lambert.  He  would  run  a  mile 
out  of  that  priest's  way.  The  man  the  chivalrous 
colonel  floored  was  a  poor  beggar  who  wanted 
bread  and  got  a  blow." — Union  and  Times  (Cath- 
olic). 

Fudge !  You  are  repeating  the  falsehood  of 
some  unscrupulous  reporter,  with  a  lie  of  your 
own  added.  That  Ingersoll  repulsed  a  "burly 
rufl&an"  who  menacingly  "held  him  up"  on  the 
streets  of  Chicago,  was  reported  by  the  press,  with 
full  details  of  a  "flush  right-hander"  and  a  "left- 
arm  hook,"  whereby  the  knock-out  was  accom- 


APPENDIX.  193 

plished,  but  the  "poor  beggar  who  wanted  bread 
and  got  a  blow"  is  an  embellishment  added  for 
odious  purposes  by  the  "Union  and  Times."  The 
truth  of  the  matter  is  that  no  beggar  approached 
Colonel  Ingersoll  in  the  manner  described  and 
that  no  blow  was  struck.  The  account  is  pure 
fiction. — The  Truth  Seeker,  March  27,  1897. 


THE  LONGEVITY  OF  THE  UNTRUE. 

A  friend  sends  to  The  Truth  Seeker  a  clipping 
from  a  Chicago  paper  of  recent  date  with  this 
item  marked: 


"Robert  Ingersoll,  who  is  coming  to  Chicago 
with  a  new  lecture,  is  fond  of  good  books.  Dur- 
ing one  of  his  visits  to  Chicago  he  and  a  friend 
went  to  one  of  the  big  book  stores  in  Wabash  ave- 
nue to  examine  the  treasures  on  the  shelves  and 
counters.  They  had  roamed  around  the  estab- 
lishment discussing  history,  romance,  and  theol- 
ogy, and  finally  the  friend  said,  picking  up  a  vol- 
ume: 'Ah,  Colonel,  this  is  the  book  you  like.' 

'"What  is  it?'  he  asked. 

"  'Tom  Paine's  "Age  of  Reason."  ' 

**  'Yes;  it's  a  good  book,  but  mighty  expensive.' 

"  'Why,  I  didn't  think  so.' 

*'  *I  have  a  copy,  and  what  do  you  think  it  cost 
me?' 

"  'I  don't  know,  I'm  sure.' 

"  'The  governorship  of  Illinois.'  " 

It  is  related  that  Colonel  Ingersoll  once  asked 
a  lady  what  good  religion  had  ever  done,  and  that 
she  replied,  "It  has  kept  you  from  being  gov- 
ernor of  Illinois."  She  might  have  added  that 
religion  and  the  bigotry  arising  out  of  it  had  in 
various  other  ways  rendered   null  and  void  the 


194  APPENDIX. 

provision  of  our  fundamental  law  that  no  relig- 
ious test  shall  be  required  of  a  candidate  for  ofiSce. 
This  story  is  apocryphal,  but  it  has  bred  with  the 
usual  fecundity  of  the  untrue,  and  the  Chicago 
paper's  story  is  one  of  its  offspring.  But  the  book 
incident  is  older  than  it  appears.  In  The  Truth 
Seeker  of  October  ii,  1879  (nearly  eighteen  years 
ago),  was  printed  the  following  paragraph: 

"Ingersoll  is  well  aware  of  the  political  disa- 
bilities put  upon  him  by  his  peculiar  religious 
views.  Some  one  asked  him  one  day,  'What  did 
this  copy  of  Voltaire  cost  you?'  'Well,  sir,  it 
cost  me  the  governorship  of  Illinois/  was  the 
quick  reply." 

That  invention  was  credited  to  a  paper  called 
the  "Modern  Argo,"  which  is  the  only  reference 
to  that  publication  we  have  ever  seen.  The  writer 
for  the  Chicago  paper  might  have  thought  a  "copy 
of  Voltaire"  somewhat  vague,  since  it  would  mean 
a  library  rather  than  a  single  work,  and  so 
changed  it  to  Paine's  "Age  of  Reason."  The 
only  further  improvement  made  in  the  story  is  a 
picture  of  Ingersoll  looking  at  a  book- — The 
Truth  Seeker,  May  8,  1897. 


ERRATA. 


There  is  another  man  out  West  "answering" 
Colonel  Ingersoll.  His  name  is  J.  P.  D.  John,  he 
is  a  "Rev.,"  and  either  he  or  his  advertising  man- 
ager is  a  liar.  He  is  ex-president  of  DePauw  Col- 
lege. The  vineyard  he  is  cultivating  now  is  the 
northwest,  and  he  is  publishing,  as  an  inducement 
for  people  to  go  and  hear  him,  a  statement  that 
Colonel  IngtiSoU  has  said  that  he  (John)  is  the 
only  man  who  has  ever  answered  him  (Ingersoll). 
Several  of  our  readers  having  written  to  us  about 


APPENDIX.  195 

it,  quoting  liis  "recommendation"  from  tlie  Col- 
onel, we  extended  tlieir  communications  to  Mr. 
Ingersoll  himself,  and  this  is  what  he  says: 

"New  York,  April  5,  1898. 
"My  Dear  Macdonald: 

"I  never  wrote  the  following  to  the  Rev'd  John 
P.  D.  John:  'Rev.  John  P.  D.  John  is  the  only 
man  who  has  ever  answered  me.' 

"Never  wrote  anything  like  it — nor  said  any- 
thing like  it. 

"I  do  not  believe  that  the  Rev'd.  P.  D.  John  has 
ever  answered  me,  or  that  he  ever  will. 

"I  may  have  written  or  said,  or  both,  that  he 
was  fair  or  decent,  but  it  never  occurred  to  me 
that  he  had  really  answered  me. 

"Yours  always, 

"R.  G.  Ingersoll." 

There  is  the  answer  under  the  Colonel's  own  sig- 
nature, and  if  the  Rev.  Pedee  John  and  his  ad- 
vertising manager  don't  reform  their  show  bills 
they  will  be  open  to  the  charge  of  wilful  misrep- 
resentation for  the  glory  of  God,  or  of  the  Rev. 
Pedee,  which  is  the  same  th.ng. 


About  the  meanest  thing  we  have  lately  seen 
concerning  Colonel  Ingersoll  is  a  statement  in  the 
Johnstown,  Pa.,  "Weekly  Tribune"  of  April  i. 
Johnstown  is  the  place  which  a  few  years  ago  was 
wiped  ofiE  the  map  by  a  flood,  which  caused  great 
loss  of  life,  and  much  suffering  to  the  survivors, 
and  to  help  relieve  which  Colonel  Ingersoll  sent 
his  check  for  one  hundred  dollars.  The  allegation 
of  the  "Tribune"  is: 

"His  [Ingersoll's]  personal  characteristics  are 
admired  only  by  those  who  are   not   acquainted 


196  APPENDIX. 

with  them.  To  one  who  has  had  a  chance  to  ob- 
serve them  in  a  railroad  journey  of  some  duration, 
a  sojourn  at  a  hotel,  or  elsewhere,  they  appear 
anything  but  admirable.  Bob  is  fond  of  drink, 
and  exhibits  his  thirst  whenever  an  opportunity 
presents.  He  is  loud-mouthed,  profane,  domi- 
neering, not  over-cleanly,  evidently  would  not 
lend  a  hand  to  assist  a  fellow-passenger  if  he 
could  help  it." 

This  sounds  very  much  like  the  tales  about 
Paine,  and  is  as  good  a  specimen  of  deliberate 
lying  as  one  often  sees.  The  facts  are  precisely 
and  exactly  opposite.  Mr.  Ingersoll  is  the  em- 
bodiment of  kindness,  always  assisting  others, 
gentle  in  speech  and  manner,  extremely  temper- 
ate if  not  totally  abstinent  as  to  drink,  and  a 
"crank"  on  cleanliness.  Statements  otherwise 
are  the  malicious  inventions  of  Christians  who 
desire  to  injure  him  in  the  estimation  of  others. 
Such  Christian  writers  usually  wait  till  the  sub- 
ject of  their  vituperation  is  dead,  but  the  Colonel 
being  so  very  much  alive  lately  has  induced  them 
to  begin  now,  possibly  with  an  eye  to  getting  the 
people  away  from  his  lectures  and  into  the  church. 
—The  Truth  Seeker,  April  i6,  1898. 


APPENDIX.  197 

COLONEL  INGERSOLL'S  DEATH. 

There  are  so  many  Christian  preachers  in  the 
country  who  think  the  truth  of  God  will  more 
abound  through  their  lying,  that  stories  of  the  re- 
cantation of  his  Infidelity  and  conversion  to 
Christianity  of  the  late  Robert  G.  Ingersoll  are 
being  published  with  a  frequency  which  shows  the 
zeal  of  the  pious  ones  of  the  earth.  The  Ingersoll 
family  have  had  such  stories  sent  to  them  by  the 
dozen,  with  a  request  for  the  facts,  and  The  Truth 
Seeker  has  answered  in  the  paper  and  by  letter 
some  score  or  two  within  the  past  few  weeks.  To 
set  the  matter  at  rest,  and  to  have  the  facts  in 
shape  for  use  by  Colonel  Ingersoll's  friends  and 
by  future  historians,  the  family  have  prepared  the 
following  sworn  statement: 

State  of  New  York       ) 
County  of  New  York  ) 

ROBERT  G.  INGERSOLL. 

The  True   Story  of  His  Illness  and  Death. 

On  November  16,  1896,  while  on  a  lecture  trip,  at 
Janesville,  Wisconsin,  Colonel  Ingersoll  had  a  cere- 
bral hemorrhage.  He  continued  to  lecture  for  a 
few  days,  but  at  the  solicitation  of  his  family  went 
to  Chicago  and  consulted  Dr.  Frank  Billings,  who 
advised  him  to  return  home  and  rest  for  two 
months,  which  he  did.  He  then,  January  24,  1897, 
resumed  lecturing,  which  he  continued  up  to  the 
time  of  his  death.  It  was  at  this  time,  early  in 
1897,  that  he  developed  angina  pectoris,  from  which 
he  suffered  greatly  and  which  was  the  cause  of  his 
death.  Since  his  death  we  have  learned  that  he 
knew  exactly  his  condition.  In  other  words,  his 
physicians  had  told  him  that  he  was  likely  to  die  at 


198  APPENDIX. 

any  moment,  but  acceding  to  his  earnest  entreaties 
they  did  not  tell  his  family.  In  spite  of  the  fact 
that  death  was  ever  beside  him,  he  was  always  very 
cheerful,  and  when  asked  as  to  his  health  invariably 
replied  "all  right."  During  the  night  of  July  20, 
1899,  he  had  an  attack  of  acute  indigestion  and  slept 
very  little,  but  he  came  to  breakfast  the  next  morn- 
ing and  afterward  sat  on  the  piazza,  as  he  was  wont 
to  do,  reading  and  talking  with  the  family.  At 
about  ten  thirty  he  said  he  would  lie  down  and  rest 
a  little  and  would  then  come  down  and  play  pool 
with  his  son-in-law.  Mrs.  Ingersoll  accompanied 
him  to  their  bedroom  and  remained  with  him  while 
he  slept.  At  about  11.45  he  arose  and  sat  in  his 
chair  to  put  on  his  shoes.  Miss  Sue  Sharkey  came 
into  the  room  followed  by  Mrs.  Sue  M.  Farrell. 
Mrs.  Ingersoll  said,  "Do  not  dress,  papa,  until 
after  luncheon.  I  will  eat  upstairs  with  you."  He 
replied:  "Oh,  no,  I  do  not  want  to  trouble  you." 
Mrs.  Farrell  then  said,  "How  absurd,  after  the 
hundreds  of  times  you  have  eaten  upstairs  with  her." 
He  looked  up  laughingly  at  Mrs.  Farrell  as  she 
turned  to  leave  the  room,  and  then  Mrs.  Ingersoll 
said,  "Why,  papa,  your  tongue  is  coated;  I  must 
give  you  some  medicine."  He  looked  up  at  her  with 
a  smile  and  as  he  did  so  closed  his  eyes  and  passed 
away  without  a  struggle,  a  pang  or  even  a  sigh.  No 
one  else  was  present.  It  is  said  that  he  recanted. 
This  is  a  cruel  and  malicious  falsehood,  without  the 
slightest  foundation  in  fact.  His  convictions  on 
the  subject  of  religion  remained  absolutely  un- 
changed.   He  died  as  he  had  lived — an  Agnostic. 

Eva  a.  Ingersoll, 
Sue  Sharkey, 
Sue  M.  Farrell. 
Severally  affirmed  to  before  me  this  17th  day  of 
March,  1906. 

John  H.  Hazelton, 
Notary  Public,  New  York  County,  No.  59. 


APPENDIX.  199 

Several  copies  of  this  document  have  been  ex- 
ecuted and  placed  in  safe  keeping  for  the  use  of 
future  historians,  and  to  use  in  refuting-  the  lies 
which  have  been  and  will  be  told  as  to  Colonel 
IngersoU's  death.  The  pulpit  has  not  only  made 
Colonel  Ingersoll  recant,  but  one  priest  told 
his  parishioners  that  the  Colonel  sent  for  a 
Roman  Catholic  priest.  The  foregoing-  statement 
has  been  made  in  the  interest  of  the  truth.  The 
Sue  Sharkey,  whose  name  is  affixed  to  the  affidavit, 
was  a  member  of  the  family,  and  is  a  Roman  Catho- 
lic in  religion. 

Whenever  one  of  our  readers  sees  in  his  local 
newspaper  a  repetition  of  the  idle  tale  that  Colonel 
Ingersoll  recanted  we  hope  he  or  she  will  copy 
this  and  embody  it  in  a  letter  to  that  newspaper,  and 
tell  the  editor  that  if  he  is  an  honest  man  he  will 
print  it ;  if  he  refuses  to  print  it,  tell  him  he  is  just  a 
little  less  honest  than  a  horsethief,  and  stop  taking 
his  paper. 


DENIED  BY  AFFIDAVITS. 
Front  the  New  York  Truth  Seeker,  Feb.  \9th,  1910. 

Immediately  upon  the  death  of  Robert  G.  Inger- 
soll in  1899,  a  report  that  upon  his  "dying  bed"  he 
had  renounced  his  Agnosticism,  and  had  expressed 
regret  for  having  entertained  such  views,  was  fabri- 
cated and  put  in  circulation  by  priests,  ministers, 
and  evangelists.  The  family  of  Colonel  Ingersoll, 
being  shocked  and  outraged  by  this  malicious  false- 
hood, at  once  published  a  statement  and  affidavit  de- 
scribing his  last  moments  and  showing  the  impossi- 
bility of  the  reports  being  true.  The  statement  of 
facts  did  not  check  the  lying,  which  went  on,  cul- 
minating in  an  affidavit  by  a  wretch  named  Berry  of 
St.  Johns,  Oregon,  that  the  recantation  had  actually 


200  APPENDIX. 

taken  place  and  giving  other  details  obviously  bor- 
rowed from  previously  fabricated  accounts  of  other 
Infidel  deathbeds.  Evangelists  and  the  religious 
press,  professing  to  regard  the  miserable  inven- 
tions of  Berry  as  new  evidence,  have  circulated  his 
story  East  and  West,  and  have  refused  to  desist 
when  informed  and  placed  in  possession  of  the  fact 
that  the  affidavit  of  Berry  does  not  contain  a  word 
of  truth.  Their  course  has  shown  that  they  are  in- 
different to  its  falsity  so  long  as  it  serves  their  pur- 
pose. In  consequence,  the  widow  and  daughter  of 
Colonel  Ingersoll  have  made  a  second  affidavit  dis- 
posing of  Berry's.  It  is  to  the  shame  and  reproach 
of  religion  that  they  should  be  forced  by  persistent 
lying  on  the  part  of  its  propagandists  to  take  this 
course.  The  Truth  Seeker  prints  the  affidavits 
of  Mrs.  Ingersoll  and  Miss  Ingersoll,  the  originals 
of  which  are  at  this  office  for  inspection.  We  un- 
derstand that  the  genuineness  of  the  previous  af- 
fidavits published  and  republished  in  The  Truth 
Seeker  has,  in  their  desperation,  been  denied  by  the 
circulators  of  the  Berry  testimony.  Freethinkers, 
wherever  they  may  hear  or  see  any  statement  con- 
flicting with  the  facts  with  which  they  are  so  well 
acquainted,  will  be  justified  in  rising  up  and  giving 
such  statement  its  right  name. 

MRS.  INGERSOLL'S  AFFIDAVIT. 

State  of  New  York,      ) 

County  of  New  York,  j     '  *" 

Eva  A.  Ingersoll,  having  duly  affirmed,  deposes 
and  says : 

That  she  is  the  widow  of  the  late  Colonel  Robert 
G.  Ingersoll,  who  died  at  Dobbs  Ferry,  New  York, 
on  July  21,  1899. 

That  she  has  been  informed  that,  in  December, 


APPENDIX.  201 

1908,  a  certain  affidavit  was  made  reading  as  fol- 
lows : 

"I  do  hereby  declare  that  Robert  Ingersoll  con- 
fessed to  my  father,  Joehiel  S.  Berry,  on  his  dyini^ 
bed,  that  he  did  not  believe  the  doctrine  he  preached. 

"He  said  these  words:  'Joehiel,  I  wish  I  had  my 
life  to  live  over  again.'  When  asked  why,  he  said 
'Because  I  do  not  beheve  what  I  have  preached  and 
never  have.  I  only  did  this  for  the  money  that  was 
in  it.' 

"His  daughter  than  asked,  'Whose  life  shall  I 
live  after,  yours  or  mother's  ?'  and  he  said,  'Live  the 
life  of  your  mother.'  Mrs.  IngersoU  was  a  strict 
Baptist  and  a  sister  to  my  father. 

"(Signed)     ARCHIE  E.  BERRY, 

"St.  Johns,  Ore." 

or  reading  as  given  without  the  words  "on  his  dying 
bed." 

That  the  name  of  deponent's  father  was  Parker ; 
and  that  the  name  of  deponent's  mother  was  Lyon. 
That  neither  her  father  nor  her  mother  was  married 
more  than  once. 

That  she  does  not  know  Archie  E.  Berry ;  that 
she  never  knew  Joehiel  S.  Berry,  and  that  she  never 
saw,  so  far  as  she  knows,  either  of  them,  and  that 
she  never  heard  of  either  of  them  except  as  she  has 
heard  of  them  in  connection  with  the  above  alleged 
affidavit. 

That,  so  far  as  she  knows,  her  late  husband  never 
saw  or  knew  either  Archie  E.  Berry  or  Joehiel  S. 
Berry. 

That  no  one  by  the  name  of  Berry  was  present  at 
the  death  of  her  said  late  husband ;  and  that  she 
knows  so  of  her  own  knowledge,  because  she  herself 
was  present  at  that  time  and  knows  all  of  the  per- 
sons then  present. 

That  any  statement  that  Archie  E.  Berry  is  de- 
ponent's nephew  is  false. 


202  APPENDIX. 

That  any  statement  that  Joehiel  S.  Berry  was 
present  at  the  death  of  her  said  late  husband  is  false. 
That  any  statement  that  her  said  late  husband  re- 
canted from  his  public  utterances,  namely,  that  he 
was  an  Agnostic,  so  far  as  she  knows,  or,  as  she 
knows,  at  the  time  of  his  death,  is  false. 

That  deponent  is  not  and  never  has  been  a  Bap- 
tist and  has  been  and  still  is  an  Agnostic. 

Eva  a.  Ingersoll. 
Subscribed  and  affirmed  to  before  me  this  27th 
day  of  January,  1910. 

John  H.  Hazelton, 
Notary  Public,  New  York  Co.,  No.  70. 

MISS  INGERSOLL'S  AFFIDAVIT. 
State  of  New  York, 


County  of  New  York.  ^ 

Maud  R.  Ingersoll,  having  first  duly  affirmed,  de- 
poses and  says : 

That  she  is  a  daughter  of  the  late  Colonel  Robert 
G.  Ingersoll,  who  died  at  Dobbs  Ferry,  New  York, 
on  July  21,  1899,  and  of  Eva  A.  Ingersoll,  who 
signed  in  her  presence  the  annexed  affidavit,  made 
a  part  hereof  by  reference,  which  she  has  read  and 
the  contents  whereof  she  knows  and  which  contents 
she  believes  to  be  true. 

That  she  has  been  informed  that,  in  December, 
1908,  a  certain  affidavit  was  made  as  follows  :  [Here 
the  Berry  affidavit  is  quoted]  or  reading  as  given 
without  the  words  "on  his  dying  bed." 

That  she  does  not  know  Archie  E.  Berry ;  and 
that  she  never  knew  Joehiel  S.  Berry ;  and  that  she 
never  saw,  so  far  as  she  knows,  either  of  them,  and 
that  she  never  heard  of  either  of  them  except  as 
she  has  heard  of  them  in  connection  with  the  above 
alleged  affidavit. 

That,  so  far  as  she  knows,  her  said  late  father 


APPENDIX.  203 

never  saw  or  knew  either  Archie  E.  Berry  or  Joehiel 
S,  Berry. 

That,  so  far  as  she  knows,  her  said  late  father 
never  had  any  conversation  of  any  kind  with  Joehiel 
S.  Berry ;  and  that  her  said  late  father  in  her  pres- 
ence and  she,  or  her  said  late  father  in  her  presence 
or  she,  never  had  any  such  conversation  as  has  been 
given  in  said  alleged  affidavit  above  given,  or  any 
similar  conversation,  or  anything  like  it,  or  any  part 
of  it,  or  any  conversation  having  any  similar  im- 
port, at  any  time,  with  any  person  or  persons. 

That  no  such  conversation  as  is  alleged  in  said 
alleged  affidavit  of  Archie  E.  Berry  as  occurring 
between  deponent  and  her  said  late  father  in  the 
presence  of  Joehiel  S.  Berry  could  have  occurred, 
because  her  said  late  father  never  made  any  such 
statement  in  her  presence,  and  her  said  mother  has 
always  been,  so  far  as  deponent  knows,  an  Agnostic, 
just  as  her  said  late  father  was,  and  never,  so  far 
as  deponent  knows,  a  Baptist  nor  anything  other 
than  an  Agnostic. 

That  any  statement  that  Archie  E.  Berry  is  the 
nephew  of  deponent's  mother  is,  to  the  best  of  de- 
ponent's knowledge,  information  and  belief,  false. 

That  any  statement  that  her  said  late  father  re- 
canted from  his  public  utterances,  namely,  that  he 
was  an  Agnostic  is,  to  the  best  information,  the 
knowledge  and  the  belief  of  deponent,  false. 

Maud  R.  Ingersoll. 

Subscribed  and  affirmed  before  me  this  27th  day 
of  January,  1910.  John  H.  Hazelton, 

Notary  Public,  New  York  Co.,  No.  70. 


INDEX. 


Aberdeen,   S.   D.,    clergyman's 

lermon,  9 
Adler,  Felix,  letter  by,  139 
"Argus,"  Fargo,  quotation,  2T 
Army,  Ingersoll  in  the,  22 
Bar  Association,  N.  T.,  148 
Bartlett,  Caroline  J.,  103,  106. 
Beecher,  his  alleged  rebuke,  73; 

tribute  to  Ingersoll,  75 
"Crutches,"  73-75 
Beliefs  of  Ingersoll.  75-81 
Bennett,  D.  M.,  119 
Bereaved  mother,  letter  to,  82 
Black,  Jeremiah  S.,  86-90 
Black, Mrs.,  sister  ofIngersoll,59 
Blaine,  J.  G.,  nominated,  36 
Bruno,  Giordano,  139 
Bush,  W.  S.,  quotation  from,  18 
Challenges  by  clergymen,  69 
Charities,  134-146 
Conkling  memorial  address,  147 
Couyersions,  alleged,  of  daugh- 
ters,52-57;  of  him8elf,101-110 
Cook,  Joseph,  his  falsehood,  57 
Cooper,  Mrs.  Sarah  B.,  62,  63,  66 
Crimes  of  Preachers,  90 
Cuba,  praise  of,  20 
Douglas,  Frederick,  quotation,37 
Elmwood,  reunion  at,  33 
Endeavorers,  prayers  of,  96 
Ethical  Society,  lecture  for,  139 
family,  I' gersoll's,  46-57 
Jikther  of  Ingersoll,  58 
'^wcett,  Edgar,  poem  by,  156 
jrisher,  Geo.  P.,  90 
•fiske,  H.  G.,  quotation,  46-48 
Forrest,  Gen.,  and  Ingersoll,  29 
Galveston  "  News,"  correspond- 
ence of,  50 
G.A  R.,  address  before,  136, 150 
Gould,  B.  M.,  letter  by,  134 
Grant  Banquet,  the,  149 
Hamilton,  Rev.,  100 
Hayes,  R.  B.,  his  bad  faith,  36 
Houston, Rev.,  sample  sermon,  9 
Ingersoll,  EvaR.,  48-54 

letter   by,  56 
Ingersoll,  Maud  R.,  48 

letter  by,  66 
Ingersoll,  Rev.  Samuel,  110 


Ikobrsoll,  Robbrt  G., 
on  the  religious  lie,  T,  8 
OQ  temperance,  14-lT 
on  whisky,  19 
on  prohibitionists,  20 
on  tobacco,  20 
on  human  stupidity,  2S 
in  the  army,  22 
his  regiment,  23 
his  capture,  24 
inbatte,  23-32 
ofHcers  of  his  regiment,  26 
in  captivity,  30 
at  the  Elmwood  reunion,  33 
in  politics,  34-40 
attorney-general  of  Illinois,  36 
a  candidate,  35 
the  Berlin   mission,  36 
entertains  Fred'k  Douglass,  38 
on  the  stump,  39 
in  Peoria,  40-46 
his  career  as  described    by 

mayor  of  the  city,  41-44 
leaving   Peoria,  45 
his  home  life,  46-51 
his  daughters,  48 
letter  to   Mrs.  Clark,  52 
to  '"Investigator,"  53,  57 
on  his  father's  religion,  68 
Lis  sister,  59 
his  care  for  his  sister,  60 
a  book  to  Mrs.  Cooper,  63 
inheritance  from  mother,  Q^ 
on   the  Rev.  Dr.  Peck,  67 
why  he  does  not  debate  with 

all  clergymen,  69 
Lambert's  "Notei«,"  71 
letter  to  J.  L.  Treuthart,  74 
denial  of  Beecher  incident,  74 
on  platform  with  Beecher,  75 
God  and  immortality,  75-81 
to  a  bereaved  mother,  82 
her  reply,  84 
at  the  Reynolds    blasphemy 

trial,  86 
his  discussion  with  Black,  86 
on    a  letter  by    H.   Hodson 
Rugg, in  the  Matlock,  Eng- 
land,  "Register,"  93 
on  the  N.  Y.  "Obaerrer,"  M 


IVDZX. 


Ingersoll,  Robert  G.,  (Con.) 
on  the  Christian  Endeavorera 
who  prayed  for  hia  conver- 
sion, 98,  99 
letterto  "Advertiser,"  101 
in  Kalamazoo,  Mich.,  102 
letter  to  E.  M.  Macdonald  on 

alleged  conversion,  103 
interview  in  N.Y.  "  Sun  "  104 
letter  to  N.  Y.  "  Journal,"  107 
letter  to  Jas.  E.  Larmer,  111 
his  connection   with   attempt 
to  repeal  Comstock  postal 
laws,  111-134 
to  Nashville  "Banner,"  116 
remarks  at  League  Congress, 

(1879)  117 
resolutions  offered,  1879,  119 
resolutions  offered,  1880,  121 
discussion,  122-133 
Colonel  Ingersoll's  offer  to  the 

clergy,  133 
his   charitable    contributions, 

134-146 
gifts  to  San  Francisco  institu- 
tions, 135 
to  the  daughter  of  Hon.  A.  C. 

Witter,  135-6 
to  the  G.  A.  R.,  136-138 
to  Walt  Whitman,  138 
Mt.  Vernon,  111.,  sufferers,  138 
Negro  emigrant  aid  soc,  139 
Johnstown   sufferers,    Bruno 
fund,  Freethought  societies. 
Ethical  Culture  society,  139 
personal  charities,  140-146 
Conkling  memo,  address,  147 
before  the  New  York  Bar  as- 
sociation, 148 
Grant  banquet,  Chicago,  149 
reunion  army  Tennessee.   149 
at  6.A.R.  meeting,  N.Y.',  150 
Jawcett's  poem  on,  156 

"Jewish  Ledger,"  90 
"Judge,"  the,  99 
Kalamazoo,  Ingersoll  in,  102 
Kimsey,  Lieut.,  letter  by,  23,  25 
Lambert,  Rev.,  his  "Notes,"  71 
Larmer,  James  E.,  letter  to,  111 


"Lay  Sermon,"  139,  lU 
Lewis,  W.  H.,  letter  by,  60 
Liberal  League  Congress,  lil 
Macdonald,  E  M.,  Itr  to,  103,139 
Magie,  J.  K.,  quotation  from,  34 
"Mail  and  Express,"  quoted,140 
"  Miner,"   Butte,  quotation,  13S 
Money,  67 

Morse,  Rev.,  his  slander,  6T 
Mother  of  Ingersoll,  65 
Mt.  Vernon,  111.,  sufferers,  138 
Munn  trial,  speech  at,  14 
Negro  emigrant  aid  society,  139 
Obscenity  charge,  133 
Paine,  monument  to,  140 
Palmer,  John  M.,hi8treachery,35 
Peck,  Rev.,  misinformed,  52-64 
People's  church,  102-110 

"Wesleyan   Christian    Advo- 
cate" on,  109 
Peoria,  Ingersoll  in,  40-46 

Mayor  Warner's  letter,  41-43 
Plagiarism,  charge  of,  13 
Politics,  33-40 
Prenatal  influence,  64 
Prohibition,  Ingersoll  on,  20 
Rambaut,  Major,  28-29 
Religious  lies,  7 
Rice,  Allen  T.,  letter  by,  89 
Saginaw  "Sun,"  quoted,  71 
Savage,  Rev.,  quotation  from,  68 
Sample  sermon,  9 
Sister  of  Ingersoll,  59 
Slavery,  34 

Somerset,  Lady  Henry,  her  mis- 
takes, 64 
Son,  alleged,  of  Ingersoll,  67 
Summary,  152 
""Tears,"  66 
Temperance  speech,  13 
Tobacco,  eulogy  of,  20 
"  Transcript,"  Peoria,  quotation 

from,  45 
Vice  Society,  its  object,  112 
Wakeman,  T.  B.,  123,  127,  128 
Warner,  J.,  mayor  of  Peoria,  41 
"WesleyanChrist.Advocate,"109 
Whisky,  so-called  eulogy  of,  19 
Whitman,  Walt,  benefit  for,  138 
Witter,  Hon.  A.  C,  131 


INDEX  TO  APPENDIX. 


Abbott,  Emma,  i86 
"Advocate,  Christian,"  191 
' '  Age  of  Reason ' '  and  gov- 
ernorship of  Illinois,  193 
Albany,  Freethinkers'  meet- 
ing at,  166 
Babcock,  William,  186 
Bacon,  Alexander,  167,163 
Baldwin,    Eugene    F.,   iSi- 

186 
Baldwin,  Henry,  i6g,  173 
Beggar,  the  Chicago  myth, 

192 
Black,  Judge  Jeremiah,  165 
Brown,  DelosS.,  iSi 
Brown,  E.  L.,  183 
Brown,  Mrs.  E.  L.,  1S7 
Brown,  Hiram,  175,  187 
Buffalo  Bill,  163,  165 

Buchanan, ,  185 

Burt,  Capt.  R.  W.,  1S6 
Cady,  Rev.  George  L.,  189 
"Catholic        Union        and 

Times,"  192 
Cavalry,    nth      111.,      178; 
memorial  meeting  in  Peo- 
ria, 180 
Chicago,  lecture  in,  166 
Corinth,  180 
Darwin,  iSi 
De  Pauw  College,  194 
Douglass,  Fred,  1S4 
Douglas,  Stephen  A.,  182 
Elliott,  Prof.  John  L  ,  161 
Ellis,  J.  Spencer,  i33 
Elmwood,  reunion  at,  178 
' '  Enquirer, ' '        Cincinnati, 

quoted,  161 -4 
Fort  Smith,  Ark.,   189 
Frabe,  C,  181 
Garfield,  President,  164 
Garrison,  W.  L.,  175 


Gladstone,  Hon.  W.  E.,  165, 

iSi 
Guiteau,  Charles,  164 
Hall,  Capt.  John,  185 
Hamilton,  Dr.  W.    R.,   172, 

174 

Harper,    Col.     Samuel    A., 
1S4 

"Henry  County  Arena,"  190 

Huxley,  181 

Ingersoll,  R.  G.,  death  and 
funeral  of,  161;  the  Rev. 
Rob't  Nourse's  lies,  162- 
164:  not  a  believer  of  a 
supreme  being;  not  a  de- 
clared atheist;  the  Gar- 
field incident  a  falsehood; 
his  family  shared  his  be- 
lief, 164;  present  occupants 
of  his  Peoria  office  and 
residence;  why  he  did  not 
meet  Sam  Jones  and 
Nourse  in  debate ;  the 
Buffalo  Bill  incident  an 
invention,  165;  debt-pay- 
ing "almost  a  mania;" 
Ingersoll  and  the  Free- 
thinkers' committee  at 
Poughkeepsie  a  myth,  166; 
testimony  as  to  his  al- 
leged youthful  "  wild- 
ness,"  167-175;  tributes 
from  his  former  neigh- 
bors and  comrades,  175- 
187;  resolutions  passed  at 
regimental  meeting  of  the 
Eleventh  Illinois  Cavalry, 
180;  Peoria  Memorial 
meeting,  181;  eye-wit- 
ness's story  of  his  capture 
by  Forrest's  men,  185;  his 
belief  unchanged,  187;  let- 


INDEX    TO   APPENDIX. 


ter  to  C.  J.  Robins,  187; 
the   "Hold-the-Fort"   in- 
cident   in  Toronto  not  a 
fact,    1S8;     as    a   soldier, 
168,   189-91;   not  a  patron 
of  suicide,    191;   the  Chi- 
cago beggar    myth,     192; 
the  "Age  of  Reason"  and 
the  governorship  of  Illi- 
nois ;  not  answered  by  the 
Rev.  J.    P.  D.    John,  194; 
personal       characteristics 
misrepresented,  195 
John,  Rev.  J.  P.  D.,  194 
Johnstown   "Tribune,"  195 
Jones,  Sam,  163 
Kimsey,    John    W.,     letter 

from,  167-8,  173,  181 
Kingman,  Martin,  183 
Lambert,  Rev.  L.  A.,  192 
Lexington.  180 
Lincoln,  Abraham,  182 
Logan,  John  A.,  182 
McAlpine,  Rev.    Frank,  177 
"Mail,"  Toronto  Daily,  188 
Manning,  Cardinal,  165 
Meek,  B.  D..  179,  190-1 
Morton,  Gov.  O.  P.  of  Indi- 
ana, 182 
Murdock,  S.  A.,  181 
Nourse,   Rev.   Robert,  161, 

162 
O'Harra,  Thomas.  181 
Paine,  Thomas,  184,  193 
Parker,  Miss  Eva  A.,  177 
Peoria  "Herald,"  179 
Peoria  "  Herald-Tran- 

script," 181 
Peoria  "Journal,"  167 
Peoria  "Star,"  175,  i77 


Pfeiffer,  Rudolph,  184 
Pittsburg  Landing,  190 
"Plebeus,"   190 
Poughkeepsie,  alleged  Free- 
thinkers' meeting  at,  163, 
166 
Quinn,  M.  C,  185 
Resolutions    by  citizens    of 

Peoria,  183,  186 
Rice,  Allen  Thorndike,  165 
Ridpath,  Prof.  John  Clark, 

161 
Robins,  Clinton  J.,  187 
Secular  Thought,  188 
Sheen,  Dan,  183 
Shiloh,  180 

Sloan,  Charles  P.,  169 
Smith,    Major    Orlando    J., 

161 
Smith,  W.  H.,  182 
Sparrow,  Thomas  H.,  186 

Stafford, ,  184 

Starr,  Julius  S.,  182 
Stewart,  Dr.  J.  T.,  182 
Suicide,  alleged   "patroE  " 

of,  191 
Taylor,  Col.  Isaac,  185 
Todhunter,  R.  L.,  180 
Tripp,  S.  S.,  iSi 
Van  Hoorbeke,  Leon,  184 
Warner,  Col.  John,  170,  173, 

174 
Wells,  Major  H.  W.,  184 
Wells,  Rev.  J.  Morgan,  iqi 
Wheaton,    Gen.    Lloyd    H., 

186 
White,  Barrett,  169,  174 
Y.    M.    C.   A.   building    on 
ground     of       IngersoU's 
former  ofl&ce,  163,  165 


NOTICE! 

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Voltaire,    Volney,    or    other    heretical    and 
Antichristian   Writers,  send  to 
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